5. Lindsay Lohan vs. Sophie Mudd (JMD)
Aug 31, 2022 17:40:52 GMT -6
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Post by HBO's Boxing At The Asylum on Aug 31, 2022 17:40:52 GMT -6
BEFORE:
"Yeah," says Lindsay with a shake of the head, "I remember what happened the last time I was here. Lucky punch. Well. Tonight, it's JMD, and luck won't enter into it."
"Lindsay's right about one thing," says Sophie with a nod. "There won't be anything lucky ABOUT the result of this one. Nothing at ALL."
ROUND ONE:
O'Dell: "Back at ringside, and, that's 'Rumors' you hear behind us, and here comes the singer of that tune, two-time former JMD Champion Lindsay Lohan!"
McCarthy: "I'd say this song was terrible, but it's nowhere near the worst piece of trash that's been played over this sound system..."
O'Dell: "Lindsay climbing through the ropes to be helped off with the robe, and she's looking plenty good in that Egyptian blue bikini she likes, and plenty confident, too..."
Tess: "Confidence is one thing Lohan has never lacked."
O'Dell: "And that's 'Hotter Than Hell' by Dua Lipa you hear hammering through the arena, and that can only mean that 'Sultry' Sophie Mudd is headed to the ring..."
McCarthy: "Typical overrated Dancing Hooker..."
Cassie: "Who babified YOU in six rounds!"
McCarthy: "She got LUCKY and I was ROBBED!"
O'Dell (sighing): "Mudd wasting no time climbing through the ropes to be helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve, and the crowd very appreciative of Sophie, who's also in familiar Egyptian blue tonight. Ladies about ready to go. Time for some picks. Tess likes Sophie. Mac?"
McCarthy: "Overrated Dancing Hooker! Lohan!"
O'Dell: "Cassie?"
Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"
O'Dell: "And, we're underway. Lohan aggressive as always wants to get into close quarters and bang away with Mudd, and Sophie willing to do that. And, we're right now seeing a rerun of the last fight, with the ladies inside just thumping one another. Lindsay now tying up in there..."
McCarthy: "Lohan a JMD veteran and two-time champion. She knows what she's doing..."
O'Dell: "And, she has far more JMD experience than Mudd, who's fighting JMD for only the fifth time. Sophie holding her own, though, shoving Lindsay off, getting back to work, but Lohan tying up again, hooking body with the free hand. Ref gets in there, breaks them up. Gives Lindsay a glare..."
Cassie: "He was shouting 'break' at her, and she ignored him..."
O'Dell: "Which is not a surprise, because, while Lindsay is certainly not a dirty fighter, she's not well known for paying strict attention to the ref. Meanwhile, the final seconds are ticking away in a closely-run first round. Good right hand by Mudd and there's the bell. Close. Lohan."
Tess: "And, Lindsay has the 10-9 lead."
ROUND TWO:
O'Dell: "Into the second and we're at close quarters again. No middle distances like the last fight. Instead, brunette and redhead right in one another's grills, banging away to body, head, rack, sitting down on punches, looking to back the other off. And, Lindsay again tying up, hooking body with the free hand..."
Tess: "Mudd shoving off..."
O'Dell: "Only to have Lohan tie up again. Lindsay doing an excellent job wrestling around in there, getting Sophie off balance, opening her up for hooks and uppies to the belly, ribs, and rack. Redhead using all her veteran wiles to excellent effect here in the second..."
McCarthy: "Outsmarting a Dancing Hooker isn't that hard. But, Lohan's doing it."
O'Dell: "Good combination Lindsay and another! That one backed up Sophie, and it's Lohan who steps to and hooks ribs, then digs some rack as the final seconds of the second tick away. Lohan a GOOD right hand, and there's the bell. No doubt about this one. The redhead takes it wide."
Cassie: "And, Lindsay's built a 20-18 lead."
ROUND THREE:
O'Dell: "More interior brawling as we start the third, and it's absolutely BECOME a brawl, as the ladies bang away inside, tying up, shoving, leveraging. This is exactly the fight Lindsay wants, and don't you believe otherwise. She's dictating terms here, and Mudd's fighting on them..."
Cassie: "And, holding her own pretty well in this stanza."
O'Dell: "Indeed, she is. At least at the moment. There's not much in it as both fighters bang away in there. TONS of body work being done, the occasional nasty shot upstairs, and both fighters shipping that damage very, very well at the moment. Rack tenderized now!"
McCarthy: "And, it's getting VICIOUS!"
O'Dell: "Is, indeed, as both brunette and redhead POUND jug and the crowd gets into it in a major way. Ladies tie up again now, and the ref comes in to physically separate them. Staredown as the bell rings! Wow! Messages sent right there in the glare between Lohan and Mudd. As for the round, nothing to separate the fighters. All even."
Tess: "And, Lindsay maintains the two point lead, 30-28 after three."
ROUND FOUR:
O'Dell: "Ladies charge to the center of the ring and get after one another. BIG shots being traded upstairs and now back down and MUDD HURTS LOHAN WITH A RIGHT HOOK TO THE RACK! Lindsay's legs wobble and she grabs on to Sophie to stay on her feet!"
Tess: "And, Mudd getting after her!"
O'Dell: "Sophie shoves Lohan off and begins hammering away. Lindsay wide-eyed and rubber legged, backed into the ropes as Mudd concentrates upstairs, pummeling the redhead as the ref looks in closely. NOW Sophie goes back to the body, hooking tummy and WORKING the jugs..."
McCarthy: "Lohan hanging on. Just needs to ride this out."
O'Dell: "And, she's hanging on LITERALLY, as she's clinching, forcing the ref to get in there and break them. Mudd back to work, hooking that rack. Lohan tying up again, holding on, working clock, and there's the bell. Sophie's going to take it wide, but Lindsay survives."
Cassie: "And still leads 39-38."
ROUND FIVE:
O'Dell: "Mudd forward immediately looking to finish here. Lohan giving ground. Those legs still somewhat wobbly. Redhead tying up now, still trying to run clock. Sophie having none of it, pushing the older woman off and getting right back to punishing her to body, head, and rack..."
McCarthy: "Lohan just needs to keep slowing this Dancing Hooker down..."
O'Dell: "That's what she's looking to do. She can't deny Sophie the clean up, but she IS denying her the finish, at least at the moment and DOWN GOES LINDSAY! A short left hook to the rack to drop the guard and then a right to the chin and Lohan is on her back!"
Cassie: "Might not get up from that."
O'Dell: "Mudd to a neutral corner. Count at three. Four. Five. Lindsay to her belly. Six. To hands and knees. Seven. Lohan to her feet at eight. Redhead takes the mandatory and ON COMES MUDD! Brunette buzz sawing her rival back into the ring and PUMMELLING the rack. Lindsay mouth breathing, wide-eyed, getting a VICIOUS beating. Ref looking in. GOOD uppercut, Mudd and Lindsay wobbles and IT'S OVER! The ref leaps in and it's OVER! And your winner by TKO5 is 'Sultry' Sophie Mudd!"
Tess: "Might have waited a little too long to stop that..."
AFTER:
O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"
Tess: "I have our winner, Sophie Mudd, and, Sophie, what was the thinking when you got behind early?"
Sophie: "Well, she wanted to wrestle around in there, and she's good at it. But, this was JMD, so I wasn't looking to box her. I knew I'd get my chances, and when I got one, I made no mistake."
Tess: "So, I'll ask you what I asked Kara. What's next? More JMD, more bantamweight fights, maybe a beach fight or two?"
Sophie (smiling): "Well, I DO like to wear bikinis, so, I'm up for the beach, and JMD and traditional fights, obviously. Whatever's out there for me, I'm interested."
"Yeah," says Lindsay with a shake of the head, "I remember what happened the last time I was here. Lucky punch. Well. Tonight, it's JMD, and luck won't enter into it."
"Lindsay's right about one thing," says Sophie with a nod. "There won't be anything lucky ABOUT the result of this one. Nothing at ALL."
ROUND ONE:
O'Dell: "Back at ringside, and, that's 'Rumors' you hear behind us, and here comes the singer of that tune, two-time former JMD Champion Lindsay Lohan!"
McCarthy: "I'd say this song was terrible, but it's nowhere near the worst piece of trash that's been played over this sound system..."
O'Dell: "Lindsay climbing through the ropes to be helped off with the robe, and she's looking plenty good in that Egyptian blue bikini she likes, and plenty confident, too..."
Tess: "Confidence is one thing Lohan has never lacked."
O'Dell: "And that's 'Hotter Than Hell' by Dua Lipa you hear hammering through the arena, and that can only mean that 'Sultry' Sophie Mudd is headed to the ring..."
McCarthy: "Typical overrated Dancing Hooker..."
Cassie: "Who babified YOU in six rounds!"
McCarthy: "She got LUCKY and I was ROBBED!"
O'Dell (sighing): "Mudd wasting no time climbing through the ropes to be helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve, and the crowd very appreciative of Sophie, who's also in familiar Egyptian blue tonight. Ladies about ready to go. Time for some picks. Tess likes Sophie. Mac?"
McCarthy: "Overrated Dancing Hooker! Lohan!"
O'Dell: "Cassie?"
Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"
O'Dell: "And, we're underway. Lohan aggressive as always wants to get into close quarters and bang away with Mudd, and Sophie willing to do that. And, we're right now seeing a rerun of the last fight, with the ladies inside just thumping one another. Lindsay now tying up in there..."
McCarthy: "Lohan a JMD veteran and two-time champion. She knows what she's doing..."
O'Dell: "And, she has far more JMD experience than Mudd, who's fighting JMD for only the fifth time. Sophie holding her own, though, shoving Lindsay off, getting back to work, but Lohan tying up again, hooking body with the free hand. Ref gets in there, breaks them up. Gives Lindsay a glare..."
Cassie: "He was shouting 'break' at her, and she ignored him..."
O'Dell: "Which is not a surprise, because, while Lindsay is certainly not a dirty fighter, she's not well known for paying strict attention to the ref. Meanwhile, the final seconds are ticking away in a closely-run first round. Good right hand by Mudd and there's the bell. Close. Lohan."
Tess: "And, Lindsay has the 10-9 lead."
ROUND TWO:
O'Dell: "Into the second and we're at close quarters again. No middle distances like the last fight. Instead, brunette and redhead right in one another's grills, banging away to body, head, rack, sitting down on punches, looking to back the other off. And, Lindsay again tying up, hooking body with the free hand..."
Tess: "Mudd shoving off..."
O'Dell: "Only to have Lohan tie up again. Lindsay doing an excellent job wrestling around in there, getting Sophie off balance, opening her up for hooks and uppies to the belly, ribs, and rack. Redhead using all her veteran wiles to excellent effect here in the second..."
McCarthy: "Outsmarting a Dancing Hooker isn't that hard. But, Lohan's doing it."
O'Dell: "Good combination Lindsay and another! That one backed up Sophie, and it's Lohan who steps to and hooks ribs, then digs some rack as the final seconds of the second tick away. Lohan a GOOD right hand, and there's the bell. No doubt about this one. The redhead takes it wide."
Cassie: "And, Lindsay's built a 20-18 lead."
ROUND THREE:
O'Dell: "More interior brawling as we start the third, and it's absolutely BECOME a brawl, as the ladies bang away inside, tying up, shoving, leveraging. This is exactly the fight Lindsay wants, and don't you believe otherwise. She's dictating terms here, and Mudd's fighting on them..."
Cassie: "And, holding her own pretty well in this stanza."
O'Dell: "Indeed, she is. At least at the moment. There's not much in it as both fighters bang away in there. TONS of body work being done, the occasional nasty shot upstairs, and both fighters shipping that damage very, very well at the moment. Rack tenderized now!"
McCarthy: "And, it's getting VICIOUS!"
O'Dell: "Is, indeed, as both brunette and redhead POUND jug and the crowd gets into it in a major way. Ladies tie up again now, and the ref comes in to physically separate them. Staredown as the bell rings! Wow! Messages sent right there in the glare between Lohan and Mudd. As for the round, nothing to separate the fighters. All even."
Tess: "And, Lindsay maintains the two point lead, 30-28 after three."
ROUND FOUR:
O'Dell: "Ladies charge to the center of the ring and get after one another. BIG shots being traded upstairs and now back down and MUDD HURTS LOHAN WITH A RIGHT HOOK TO THE RACK! Lindsay's legs wobble and she grabs on to Sophie to stay on her feet!"
Tess: "And, Mudd getting after her!"
O'Dell: "Sophie shoves Lohan off and begins hammering away. Lindsay wide-eyed and rubber legged, backed into the ropes as Mudd concentrates upstairs, pummeling the redhead as the ref looks in closely. NOW Sophie goes back to the body, hooking tummy and WORKING the jugs..."
McCarthy: "Lohan hanging on. Just needs to ride this out."
O'Dell: "And, she's hanging on LITERALLY, as she's clinching, forcing the ref to get in there and break them. Mudd back to work, hooking that rack. Lohan tying up again, holding on, working clock, and there's the bell. Sophie's going to take it wide, but Lindsay survives."
Cassie: "And still leads 39-38."
ROUND FIVE:
O'Dell: "Mudd forward immediately looking to finish here. Lohan giving ground. Those legs still somewhat wobbly. Redhead tying up now, still trying to run clock. Sophie having none of it, pushing the older woman off and getting right back to punishing her to body, head, and rack..."
McCarthy: "Lohan just needs to keep slowing this Dancing Hooker down..."
O'Dell: "That's what she's looking to do. She can't deny Sophie the clean up, but she IS denying her the finish, at least at the moment and DOWN GOES LINDSAY! A short left hook to the rack to drop the guard and then a right to the chin and Lohan is on her back!"
Cassie: "Might not get up from that."
O'Dell: "Mudd to a neutral corner. Count at three. Four. Five. Lindsay to her belly. Six. To hands and knees. Seven. Lohan to her feet at eight. Redhead takes the mandatory and ON COMES MUDD! Brunette buzz sawing her rival back into the ring and PUMMELLING the rack. Lindsay mouth breathing, wide-eyed, getting a VICIOUS beating. Ref looking in. GOOD uppercut, Mudd and Lindsay wobbles and IT'S OVER! The ref leaps in and it's OVER! And your winner by TKO5 is 'Sultry' Sophie Mudd!"
Tess: "Might have waited a little too long to stop that..."
AFTER:
O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"
Tess: "I have our winner, Sophie Mudd, and, Sophie, what was the thinking when you got behind early?"
Sophie: "Well, she wanted to wrestle around in there, and she's good at it. But, this was JMD, so I wasn't looking to box her. I knew I'd get my chances, and when I got one, I made no mistake."
Tess: "So, I'll ask you what I asked Kara. What's next? More JMD, more bantamweight fights, maybe a beach fight or two?"
Sophie (smiling): "Well, I DO like to wear bikinis, so, I'm up for the beach, and JMD and traditional fights, obviously. Whatever's out there for me, I'm interested."