Maria Menounos vs Charlize Theron

Maria Menounos
Age 43
Height 5’9 1/4”
14-21-0
Titles Held
1 United Lightweight Title

Charlize Theron
Age 46
Height 5’ 9 1/2”
301-127-12
Titles Held

8 Unified Lightweight titles

7 Unified Welterweight titles

1 Unified Middleweight title

3 Maxim Lightweight titles

2 Paramount Lightweight titles

1 Reebox Lightweight title

2 Reebox Welterweight titles

2 Paramount Welterweight titles

Mistress of The Body Saddle 1/26/08-1/11/15
Recognized as Greatest Of All Time




BWFORE

The next to final fight of the night is over. The crowd is now waiting for the main Event, Maria Menounos vs Charlize Theron. Maria has come down the aisle and is in the ring. She’s wearing a sea green bikini with black gloves and boots. Her hair is in a bun at the back of her head. She is handed a microphone for her pre-fight statement.

Ninety yards up the beach, Charlize Theron is in a trailer along with the Nascar corner team that now includes Kate Upton. Kate asks Charlize why they aren’t down in the ring. Charlize tells her that she and Maria don’t get along. Kate hands her a phone and tells her she knew the two don’t get along. “I have a friend down in the crowd. Listen to what she has to say” Maria starts talking. “Charlize and I are not friends. I can’t stand her. Some girls think it is an honor to fight her. It’s humiliating. Every time she loses, she goes for a couple easy fights. She thinks I am an easy win. I took this fight to show everyone what she is, a coward. She going down, The uppercut Upton laid on her in the PPV was the highlight of my week. In our last fight, I embarrassed her totally by ripping her bra off. Tonight I am going to knock her out and strip her. Stick around for the post fight fun”. Theron’s face grows dead serious, “that is not going to happen. What she didn’t say was, I knocked her out.” Charlize’s thoughts are interrupted when Neve says “time for the NEW Theron”

The crowd is mulling around when they are startled by music suddenly blasting from the speakers. It’s opening of the Dropkick Murphy’s “Blood” They hear “You better watch out, you better beware….If you want blood I’ll give you some. Blood, Blood. If you want it now, then here it comes. Blood Blood” Down the sandy aisle comes the Theron team. The crowd reacts in unbelieving surprise. Cassandra Lynn is the lead, followed by Charlize and a step behind are Neve Campbell and Kate Upton. What’s Kate Upton doing in Theron’s corner. They enter the ring. Neve takes off Charlize robe which is a plain black robe. She’s wearing a black bikini with black gloves and boots. Her hair is in dreadlocks (re Fast and Furious 9) She walks parallel to the ropes, stopping to bend over the ropes and say a few words to ringside spectators. She stops before Maria and says “That’s show business” She turns and heads to her corner when she hears “bytch” Charlize turns and says “What did you say ” The referee quickly jumps between them and tells Theron to “get your corner NOW” Upton grabs her arm and pulls her to the corner. Upton say’s “Calm down. Save the wrath until the bell rings”

Round 1. At the bell both move straight to the center of the ring. There is no circling looking for an opening. They go right at each other. They are toe to toe punching away. Chins are tagged. Abs are pounded, tummies assaulted. The crowd knows this can’t last long. A left-right to the bra stops Theron long enough for Maria to take over. She’s beating Theron to the punches as step by step she drives Theron across the ring. Two minutes in, a right cross drops Theron. THE GOLDEN GODDESS IS DOWN. Maria is standing over her screaming for Charlize to get up. “I’m not finished with you”. Upton is horrified as she sees Charlize laying face down on the canvas. She sees Charlize raise her battered face and she yells “get up, remember she ripped your bra off in your last fight.” She then sees Theron’s arms and hands move as she starts to push herself up. Kate sighs in relief. Theron is going to beat the count. She’s up at eight leaning against the ropes. The referee checks her eyes and asks her a question. Her answer satisfies him and he waives Maria in. As she closes to finish the old blonde, she is surprised as Charlize comes off the ropes with an overhand right to her face. Theron is now punching away with lefts and rights to her head. Theron drives her to the ropes as the bell rings. In Theron’s corner, Cassie has thrown a cold towel over her head and is massaging her back Neve has given he whiff of ammonia. Kate is looking Charlize in the face “Look, don’t go for the KO yet. Punish her, soften her up. Let's see how those “greatest legs in boxing history still work” In Maria’s corner she’s advised “Don’t get into a punching contest just yet.” We need to take this bout deeper maybe into round six or seven. Theron is old, too many fights. Wear Theron out, once we have Theron nearing exhaustion, then go for it.” Maria nods

Round 2. At the bell, both are out of their corners swiftly. Theron lands a right jab to Maria’s face. Then another and another and another. Menounos finally launches a right cross, but Theron has already moved on and it sails harmlessly by her head. Charlize lands another right jab and then a left cross that send Maria to the ropes. Theron quickly closes and starts working on Menounos’ body. Charlize has her head under Mari’s jaw, working on the brunette’s midsection. Punches rip into Maria’s abs and tummy. Maria can’t punch. Charlize is in too close. Finally, she manages to get her hands on the blondes shoulders and pushes her away and throws a right uppercut, but once again Charlize is not there. She has already moved out of range. Maria is frustrated and is showing it. Charlize fakes a right, then another and as Maria raises her guard, a Theron left lands in her tummy as the bell rings. In Theron’s corner, Upton says “Well those greatest legs aren’t what they used to be but they are still pretty damn good. Maria is angry and frustrated. She going to be dangerous. She’s in a kamikaze mood. She will risk everything to get to you. Watch her.” In Maria’s corner she is told “That was a shutout for Theron. She thinks she has this fight won. She is going to make some mistakes so be ready to take advantage. Watch for that right jab. She always doubles or triples it. That’s your in, Take her out”

Round 3. At the bell they both move towards the center of the ring Charlize fakes a right and comes up with a left hook to Maria’s chin that snaps Maria’s head back. Maria manages to hold her ground and a punches a one-two to Charlize’s midsection. Charlize backs off. She moves in and pushes out that right jab that catches Maria’s chin. Maria knows what’s coming next and slaps the jab away and throws an overhand right that catches all of Charlize’s face. Charlize’s legs shimmy and she is knocked back. She’s hurt, Her nose is bleeding. The blonde hits the ropes and Maria is in on her. She pumps a right-left into the tummy and then a right hook to the jaw. She has Charlize where she wants her and slams a right-left into her bra. She see the blondes eyes light up in pain. Time to end it. She loads up a right, but before she can launch it, Charlize catches her with a left uppercut that knocks her back and Charlize is off the ropes and into the center of the ring where those “great legs’ can take over. Charlize moves one way than the other. She is not going to engage. She needs to recover a little. She succeeds and avoids any further punching until the bell rings. In her corner, Charlize flops down on her stool. Scerbo wipes her face with the cold towel and massages her shoulders. Neve give her another whiff of ammonia. Kate is looking Theron straight in face “I told you she was dangerous. She came close to putting your cute little ass on the canvas again. You looked terrible and right now you probably don’t feel any better, but we have fight to win. They are going to expect you to stay away for a round or two, so you need to go after her. What about the deadly right hand you were supposed to have. You didn’t use It against me. It’s time use it if you still have it. I want to see if it as deadly as it was supposed to be. Maybe it’s gone. but let’s find out.” In Maria’s corner she is being told that Theron is hurt and she is probably going run out the round. Get her on the ropes and finish her”

Round 4. The actress in Charlize comes out. She leaves her stool slowly. She looks dazed and unsteady moving away from the brunette. Menounos is pursuing looking to trap her opponent against the ropes. Suddenly Theron changes course and moves into Menounos’s range. Maria lashes out with a right cross that sails past Theron’s head, then a left that does the same thing. Theron slams two straight punches to Menounos’s bra. At Maria’s gloves instinctively drop to protect her chest, Charlize’s right hand drops to her hip and then Theron’s body twists and comes around with that right hand coming off her hip and lands flush on Maria’s chin. Menounos drops like she has been shot, sprawling on her back. She’s out cold. Charlize walks to her corner to await the count. Neve puts her robe over her shoulders and says “let’s go”. Charlize responds that the count isn’t finished. Neve says “Why wait. She isn’t getting up for a long time” Charlize responds “we can’t be insulting. We wait.” Kate give Charlize a hug saying “Your legendary right is like your legs, not as good as it used to be, but still pretty awesome. I’m glad I didn’t get hit with it”

AFTER.

Charlize and Kate walk into the press tent and take their seats at the table

Charlize: I don’t think Maria will be joining us. She isn’t feeling too good”

Reporter: The rumor is you two don’t get along, Why?”

Charlize: That’s between the two of us and that is the way it’s going to stay”

Blond Magazine: “Kate almost sent you to the hospital two weeks ago. What is she doing in your corner”

Charlize: “Tractorpull management made that decision. Kate and I are good friends. You know, not all us blondes are dumb and Kate is smart. Tonight between rounds she was telling me what I should do and she was right every time. She is going to be in my corner along with Neve and Cassie because that is the way I want it. If her busy schedule conflicts, Jennifer Lawrence will be back. As you know Jennifer is having her problems and needs to concentrate on her fighting not mine”

Charlize: Tess my friend you get the last question and I remind you, I don’t want to hear “I told you so”

Tess “It’s for Kate, After nearly beating Charlize to death (Charlize starts laughing) What do you think of her capabilities after being in her corner?”

Kate: You are living dangerously. Well, I think she is still a great fighter. Her biggest opponent is Father Time. Like I told her during the fight, Her legs and that right hand aren’t what they used to be, but they are still awesome. Even after all her experience, she’s not a know-it-all. She listens to the corner’s advise and there is Neve who trains Front Street fighters. She knows her business

Charlize: Well that’s it. Kate and I are hungry and after that beating to death remark, Tess is going to buy dinner, aren’t you Tess?

Tess: Yeah I think I better”