Post by Lookout! Boxing on Dec 31, 2021 21:55:35 GMT -6
Olivia Munn V Kate Beckinsale
Results by Lookout, words by Sceej
Pre fight: Coronation Series 2.0? Jenny Mac’s swallowed some hard medicine courtesy of Becks to close 2021 - losing the Coronation Series 3-2 and having to watch Kate inducted into the Tractorpull Hall of Fame! Still wild with hate, she throws Sceej’s “other” bantam at the despised Brit in the form of “The Munnster” - Olivia Munn. After wandering in the unattached wilderness to the tune of six straight losses, Olliw back with her old stable and so far so good on the reclamation project - 3 and 2 under the Sceej banner - which has some pundits wondering if this fight with the still very dangerous Beckinsale is about bringing Munn back into contention or something a little more personal for a certain blonde assistant trainer!
Press conference: Bekcinsale at her patricianly best, repeatedly and deftly slashing a steaming McCarthy (but Munn unfazed - smirk frozen on her face) - we catch Kate mid-sentence:
“... her simian brain incapable of processing the plain fact of her utter defeat, she comes at me yet again with this aged ‘protege”. I almost feel pity for Miss Munn - it boggles the mind how low on’s intelligence must be to be manipulated by Miss McCarthy! That said, this shall be an easy victory - Miss Munn’ apelike brawling, so reminiscent of her blonde handler, is tailor made for me. She will be given a very thorough and badly needed boxing lesson - though it shan’t last long!”
Press looking to a bemused Munn for response, “Look boys … its not secret I had a bad stretch, but anyone who thinks Ollie Munn is finished is badly misstaken! I’ve been taking some soft fights - and that’s what this is - a soft fight! You’re talking to a former bantamweight champion, which is something this old skank will never be able to say! Hall of Fame, my ass, she goes down like a Picadilly hooker inside three rounds!”
Kate “Well, I never …”
Ollie, “Been champ? We just went over that! Try to keep up!”. Jenny Mac chortling with glee as Kate sputters in indignation!
Fight Night: Ollie Munn to the ring seconded by Jenny McCarthy and Big Bad Gena Lee Nolin to the strains of Pearl Jam’s “Force of Nature”. Munn embracing the “bad girl” role - balc boy shorts, sports bra, boots and gloves. Sound system then thunders “God Save the Queen” and here comes the regal Katherine Beckinsale, seconded by Vixens head trainer Steve Boyd and Hannah Ferguson, resplendent in scarlet boots, gloves and trunks, sports bra emblazoned with the Union Jack.. Referee’s instructions feature Jenny Mac confined to corner (a condition of the contract signing insisted on by Kate) - Jenny loudly calling “My girl’s gonna kill you, b*tch!” as the legendary McCarthy “good sportsmanship” is once again on display!
Round 1: K-Becks front floor flat and rear foot with heel raised, gloves high, operating behind that rapier jab while the Munnster has dukes at her chin, weaving side to side and snatching at body with hooks. Kate grudgingly giving up canvas but it is a fighting retreat and she is taking a toll on Munn as she advances - snapping brunette head back with the jab before taking those thumping hooks to midriff in receipt. Mid round, K-Becks digs that rear foot into the canvas and makes a stand, firing back with both hands, cracking Munn with the overhand right while taking a solid left right to the belly, drawing a grunt from the Brit. Munn follows up with slapping right hand to the temple at the bell and late flurry probably steals the round for Ollie Munn!
Round 2: In the corner, McCarthy urging Munn to “just walk through her - she can’t punch!” (conveniently forgetting the Coronation Series?). Bell rings and fighters at each other - loosened up by first round and ready to mix it up! Kate circling left slowly, followed and occasionally crowded by Munn - who is looking to slip that jab and get inside. Kate doing good job of dictating distance, frustrating the Oklahoman. Ollie gambles with right uppercut, Kate snakes long neck back, avoids, and slings back with overhand right that crashes into Munn’s temple, putting a shimmy in her knees, The Brit feigns the jab and tags Ollie with slapping right hand lead and now Munn hastily retreats! Kate with a “yeah!” of triumph as bell rings. Big round for the Vixen!
Round 3: Kate Beckinsale doing what she does best - wheeling and dealing! Up on toes and dominating. Peppering Munn with the rapier jab … then driving her back with the one-two (jab followed by overhand right). When Munn swings back with the hook … Becks dances back … catty taunting smirk on her face. Enraged Munn with wild attacks … all playing into the English beauty’s hands! Ollie tarted up well and proper for almost the full three rounds - left puffy faced and mouth breathing from wild swings and misses. Shutout round for Kate B.
Round 4: Jenny Mac in the corner, slaps Munn’s face “Don’t play her game! Forget her head when she’s moving like that! Get into her and get rough? Rough, understand? Like Nolin showed ya?” Fighters out of corners and Kate right back to work … skipping to her left and pricking with that jab. Kate still in charge by sheer volume of leather! Munn with guard high … taking punches on gloves and scalp … then a bull rush to get inside. K-Becks clinches but Munn pure violence getting hands free - fighters careen into ropes and Munn blasts freed left hand to Beckinsale groin! Vixen corner screaming foul and the ref saw it! Takes Munn by wrist to center ring and theatrically instructs each judge to deduct a point! Ref then barks “Box” but it is a much reduced Kate Beckinsale who faces Munn … the effects of a low blow don’t just “disappear” because a point was deducted! Munn the bully now, hounding Kate into the corner. Once pinned, body demolition begins … thudding rights and lefts, Munn with head on Beckinsale chest … occasionally bucks head up to clip chin. Vixens corner screaming for a break and gets it. Bell rings and Kate the Great looking very pale as she heads to corner.
Round 5: Jenny Mac in corner “Now DON’T let her off the hook - FINISH!”. Beckinsale out with dukes high but looking less than firm. Munn walking right through that jam and driving her to ropes. Once there, dobles the hook to the ribs and draws a grunt from the Brit. Beckinsale fires back with overhand right but punching power sapped by the body bludgeoning. Munn set up shop, pinning opponent to cables, just keeps the hands moving, thudding lefts and rights to the flanks, occasionally slips in sneaky uppercut which raises Kate’s chin. Munn takes half step back and crashes right hand off battered brunette’s jaw … and KATE GOES DOWN! Beckinsale puddles at Munn’s feet as Ollif throws hands in air and bellows down, resisting referee efforts to get her to a neutral corner. Ref back to pick up the count at “six” … Kate with hand on second rope trying to will herself up but cannot beat the count … winner by knockout in the fifth round … Olivia “The Munnster” Munn!
McCarthy prompting and Ollie grinning as she makes a post fight visit to Vixen corner to take Kate Beckinsale on a heartless walk! McCarthy gleeful in the corner, “Hall of Fame? LOL … more like Walk of Shame!”
Post fight interview and reporter asks Munn if the walk was a good idea, has she made an enemy? “Nothing to worry about, boys! She wont come looking for revenge - she’s scared now! You watch - Ollie Munn walks down the street and Kate Beckinsale will cross to the other side!”
Results by Lookout, words by Sceej
Pre fight: Coronation Series 2.0? Jenny Mac’s swallowed some hard medicine courtesy of Becks to close 2021 - losing the Coronation Series 3-2 and having to watch Kate inducted into the Tractorpull Hall of Fame! Still wild with hate, she throws Sceej’s “other” bantam at the despised Brit in the form of “The Munnster” - Olivia Munn. After wandering in the unattached wilderness to the tune of six straight losses, Olliw back with her old stable and so far so good on the reclamation project - 3 and 2 under the Sceej banner - which has some pundits wondering if this fight with the still very dangerous Beckinsale is about bringing Munn back into contention or something a little more personal for a certain blonde assistant trainer!
Press conference: Bekcinsale at her patricianly best, repeatedly and deftly slashing a steaming McCarthy (but Munn unfazed - smirk frozen on her face) - we catch Kate mid-sentence:
“... her simian brain incapable of processing the plain fact of her utter defeat, she comes at me yet again with this aged ‘protege”. I almost feel pity for Miss Munn - it boggles the mind how low on’s intelligence must be to be manipulated by Miss McCarthy! That said, this shall be an easy victory - Miss Munn’ apelike brawling, so reminiscent of her blonde handler, is tailor made for me. She will be given a very thorough and badly needed boxing lesson - though it shan’t last long!”
Press looking to a bemused Munn for response, “Look boys … its not secret I had a bad stretch, but anyone who thinks Ollie Munn is finished is badly misstaken! I’ve been taking some soft fights - and that’s what this is - a soft fight! You’re talking to a former bantamweight champion, which is something this old skank will never be able to say! Hall of Fame, my ass, she goes down like a Picadilly hooker inside three rounds!”
Kate “Well, I never …”
Ollie, “Been champ? We just went over that! Try to keep up!”. Jenny Mac chortling with glee as Kate sputters in indignation!
Fight Night: Ollie Munn to the ring seconded by Jenny McCarthy and Big Bad Gena Lee Nolin to the strains of Pearl Jam’s “Force of Nature”. Munn embracing the “bad girl” role - balc boy shorts, sports bra, boots and gloves. Sound system then thunders “God Save the Queen” and here comes the regal Katherine Beckinsale, seconded by Vixens head trainer Steve Boyd and Hannah Ferguson, resplendent in scarlet boots, gloves and trunks, sports bra emblazoned with the Union Jack.. Referee’s instructions feature Jenny Mac confined to corner (a condition of the contract signing insisted on by Kate) - Jenny loudly calling “My girl’s gonna kill you, b*tch!” as the legendary McCarthy “good sportsmanship” is once again on display!
Round 1: K-Becks front floor flat and rear foot with heel raised, gloves high, operating behind that rapier jab while the Munnster has dukes at her chin, weaving side to side and snatching at body with hooks. Kate grudgingly giving up canvas but it is a fighting retreat and she is taking a toll on Munn as she advances - snapping brunette head back with the jab before taking those thumping hooks to midriff in receipt. Mid round, K-Becks digs that rear foot into the canvas and makes a stand, firing back with both hands, cracking Munn with the overhand right while taking a solid left right to the belly, drawing a grunt from the Brit. Munn follows up with slapping right hand to the temple at the bell and late flurry probably steals the round for Ollie Munn!
Round 2: In the corner, McCarthy urging Munn to “just walk through her - she can’t punch!” (conveniently forgetting the Coronation Series?). Bell rings and fighters at each other - loosened up by first round and ready to mix it up! Kate circling left slowly, followed and occasionally crowded by Munn - who is looking to slip that jab and get inside. Kate doing good job of dictating distance, frustrating the Oklahoman. Ollie gambles with right uppercut, Kate snakes long neck back, avoids, and slings back with overhand right that crashes into Munn’s temple, putting a shimmy in her knees, The Brit feigns the jab and tags Ollie with slapping right hand lead and now Munn hastily retreats! Kate with a “yeah!” of triumph as bell rings. Big round for the Vixen!
Round 3: Kate Beckinsale doing what she does best - wheeling and dealing! Up on toes and dominating. Peppering Munn with the rapier jab … then driving her back with the one-two (jab followed by overhand right). When Munn swings back with the hook … Becks dances back … catty taunting smirk on her face. Enraged Munn with wild attacks … all playing into the English beauty’s hands! Ollie tarted up well and proper for almost the full three rounds - left puffy faced and mouth breathing from wild swings and misses. Shutout round for Kate B.
Round 4: Jenny Mac in the corner, slaps Munn’s face “Don’t play her game! Forget her head when she’s moving like that! Get into her and get rough? Rough, understand? Like Nolin showed ya?” Fighters out of corners and Kate right back to work … skipping to her left and pricking with that jab. Kate still in charge by sheer volume of leather! Munn with guard high … taking punches on gloves and scalp … then a bull rush to get inside. K-Becks clinches but Munn pure violence getting hands free - fighters careen into ropes and Munn blasts freed left hand to Beckinsale groin! Vixen corner screaming foul and the ref saw it! Takes Munn by wrist to center ring and theatrically instructs each judge to deduct a point! Ref then barks “Box” but it is a much reduced Kate Beckinsale who faces Munn … the effects of a low blow don’t just “disappear” because a point was deducted! Munn the bully now, hounding Kate into the corner. Once pinned, body demolition begins … thudding rights and lefts, Munn with head on Beckinsale chest … occasionally bucks head up to clip chin. Vixens corner screaming for a break and gets it. Bell rings and Kate the Great looking very pale as she heads to corner.
Round 5: Jenny Mac in corner “Now DON’T let her off the hook - FINISH!”. Beckinsale out with dukes high but looking less than firm. Munn walking right through that jam and driving her to ropes. Once there, dobles the hook to the ribs and draws a grunt from the Brit. Beckinsale fires back with overhand right but punching power sapped by the body bludgeoning. Munn set up shop, pinning opponent to cables, just keeps the hands moving, thudding lefts and rights to the flanks, occasionally slips in sneaky uppercut which raises Kate’s chin. Munn takes half step back and crashes right hand off battered brunette’s jaw … and KATE GOES DOWN! Beckinsale puddles at Munn’s feet as Ollif throws hands in air and bellows down, resisting referee efforts to get her to a neutral corner. Ref back to pick up the count at “six” … Kate with hand on second rope trying to will herself up but cannot beat the count … winner by knockout in the fifth round … Olivia “The Munnster” Munn!
McCarthy prompting and Ollie grinning as she makes a post fight visit to Vixen corner to take Kate Beckinsale on a heartless walk! McCarthy gleeful in the corner, “Hall of Fame? LOL … more like Walk of Shame!”
Post fight interview and reporter asks Munn if the walk was a good idea, has she made an enemy? “Nothing to worry about, boys! She wont come looking for revenge - she’s scared now! You watch - Ollie Munn walks down the street and Kate Beckinsale will cross to the other side!”