Contract Catfight: Jenny McCarthy vs Laura Harrier
Oct 2, 2021 0:34:06 GMT -6
Vassago and Lookout! Boxing like this
Post by SPA Universe on Oct 2, 2021 0:34:06 GMT -6
Jenny McCarthy vs Laura Harrier:
Contract Catfight
Results: Lookout! / Story: Celebff
Jenny McCarthy
(5’7” / 48 y.o. / 71-72-1 / Sceej)
Laura Harrier
(5’9” / 31 y.o. / 0-0 / Free Punchers)
One week after The Coronation Series Finale
Jenny McCarthy is coming over to sign her fight contract. Finally I can put the most overrated fighter ever down! #CBAD
That was the tweet Laura Harrier sent out just minutes before Jenny McCarthy shows up to her penthouse to sign their contract for Laura’s FCBA debut. Jenny had dragged her feet about coming over to a rookie’s residence in order to get the contract done, but Laura knew she had her as soon as she answered the reporter’s question.
“Who is your least favorite FCBA boxer ever?”
“Oh that’s easy, Jenny McCarthy,” Laura replied.
It was true. The answer for Laura was easy. Nobody had made her roll her eyes more than Jenny McCarthy. All of her outbursts when she lost. The over the top gloating when she won. In Laura’s mind you get to do things like that when you’re Kate Upton or Jamie Pressly. When you have an elite Hall of Fame level career, not when you’ve been a .500 fighter. To Laura she was the definition of mediocre and her personality didn’t quite match it.
True, it was bold for a rookie to call out a longtime vet of the FCBA. And Jenny clearly took note of it. For Jenny she had earned her spot to trash talk in the FCBA. She was a former champ. She had 143 fights to her name. Classic wins over Kate Beckinsale, Danielle Fischel, and Jamie Pressly had assured her she was one of the best to ever lace it up. So when she read some nobody without a single fight to her name had called her out… well that’s something that just wasn’t going to stand.
Normally there’s agents in the room for contract signings. But when Jenny showed up to Laura’s home she noticed it was conspicuously empty. Well, empty sans for one person.
Sitting at the far end of a long glass dining room table sat Laura Harrier. Her silky dark hair perfectly cascaded down past her shoulders. The choice of cherry colored lipstick was an intentional one as she smiled wide. Her hands by her side, she brought her right hand up and gestured Jenny towards her with her right index finger.
“Here’s the contract, J-Mac,” Laura said as she gestured to the seat next to her.
Jenny’s blonde hair waved back and forth with each step towards the table. She had on a white blouse with the sleeves up to around her mid-forearm. A pencil skirt with sheer panty hoes and some classic black stilettos completed her look.
Laura meanwhile also had on a white blouse similarly rolled up, but hers was tucked into a pink knee-high accordion skirt with a brown belt. She wore no shoes and went barefoot, considering it was her home and all.
“You must think you’re some kind of big shot,” said Jenny as she moved towards the table. “But I’ve got news for you, you’re absolutely NOTHING!”
Jenny withdrew a black sharpie that was tucked behind her ear. She leaned down to sign the contract when Laura’s hand slid it away from her.
“You can’t use that,” Laura said. “It’ll run through the paper…”
Jenny looked at Laura like she had three heads.
“Excuse me?” Jenny said. “I’m Jenny Freakin’ McCarthy and I sign with whatever the hell I want!”
Jenny leaned forward to snatch the paper from Laura’s hand, but the younger actress was too quick.
“Things are different now that I’m in the league,” said Laura. “You’re a washed-up has been that girls like Beckinsale use for easy wins to cement their Hall of Fame night. You’re a has-been quickly descending into a nobody. And you’ll sign with what I want when you’re in my home.”
Laura grabbed a pen from the table and flung it at Jenny, who just barely caught it. Her eyes bugged out. A vein in her neck looked like it was about to burst. Her face was flushed crimson.
“Now you listen here,” Jenny said stepping toward the sitting Laura.
Laura stood, flinging her chair to the floor. The two women stared into each other’s eyes. Their nostrils flared. Laura only had a couple inches on Jenny, who had to barely bend her neck backwards to make full eye contact. Their noses almost touched. Jenny’s hand drifted to the contract. Laura held it tight. Jenny dropped the pen in her hand… and then swung.
Jenny’s palm clasped the side of Laura’s face with blistering velocity. The younger woman never saw it coming. She sure felt it, though. As her head snapped to the side her hand released the contract as she instinctively brought both of them up. But the veteran Jenny had figured Laura would try to retaliate, and when those hands came up hers came up with them. Only while Laura went for the hair, Jenny went for the wrists.
Snatching the actresses by the wrists, Jenny flexed her arms and began to push them back, forcing Laura’s body back as well. Then she used her chest to begin really moving Laura’s feet. She was already on her heels, but some boob-to-boob bumping from the D cups of J-Mac made the newbie start to really sputter backwards. So much so that she lost her footing completely as her butt hit the couch.
Laura flipped over, her shoulders landing on the couch cushions. She didn’t realize Jenny had overpowered her all the way to the living room. Laura’s legs went up and wide. Jenny gave one last push and released the wrists. Then she took hold of her ankles and pulled. Laura went over the top of the couch and then fell all the way to the floor on her back. Her head bounced on the floor and she felt that reverberate throughout her body. There was a tingling in her fingers and toes. She looked up and saw Jenny with a firm grasp on her ankles. She tried to pull them away, but the playmate had other ideas.
The blonde veteran brought Laura’s shins under her armpits. Then she lifted her new opponent’s butt off of the floor, swung her own foot over Laura’s body, and was able to completely flip Harrier onto her stomach. With Jenny now facing away from Laura and towards the ceiling-high windows of the living room, she began to walk backwards, bending Laura as she did.
That’s when the screams started. Laura wailed out in pain as she felt her spine contort backwards. She was flexible and athletic, but not flexible or athletic enough to not feel a picture-perfect boston crab hold. If this were a wrestling match in the ring maybe Laura would have been able to crawl to the ropes. But the pain was so mind-splitting that all she could do is start to cry. Her back began to spasm. Her fingers curled and then extended with no rhyme or reason at all. Her cheek pressed into her expensive cream carpeting as the mascara began to run. Black splotches began to form in the carpet, no doubt staining it for good.
Jenny eventually released her hapless victim. Laura’s body laid flat on the floor. J-Mac wasn’t quite done with her yet. She leaned down and grabbed Laura by that silky, luxurious hair. With two hands in it, Jenny began to drag Laura around her own apartment. The rug burned the inexperienced woman up and down her legs. Her blouse came undone around the waist as the friction of the carpet caught her midriff as well.
And Jenny wasn’t exactly gentle.
She flung Laura into the walls. Then she flung her into the coffee table. Then she brought her up on the couch and mounted her. Slaps forced Laura’s head to snap back and forth. Jenny even went nails first as she dug deep into her opponent’s cheek.
Then she went at the hair. She pulled strands out by the fistfull and tossed them on the floor. Ripping follicles right out of Laura’s scalp. The tears continued to flow as the mascara continued to run. Jenny looked down at Laura, the whelping pup that she had become. Her work wasn’t quite done yet, though.
Jenny undid the top few buttons of her blouse, letting her impressive cleavage breathe. With the support of her favorite bra, Jenny’s breasts looked like atomic bombs to Laura. And her eyes went wide as Jenny planted them on her face. The blonde took Laura by the hair and really made sure her cleavage suffocated her cocky little opponent. When she felt Laura’s tense body relax, Jenny peeled her boobs from the girl’s face.
Laura’s eyes fluttered. She was still awake. Jenny smirked.
She walked out to the kitchen, rooted around for a while until she found what she was looking for. She returned to a semi-conscious Laura with a roll of duct tape in hand. She spun it around her index finger as she sauntered over towards the helpless actress. Peeling a strip from the roll, Jenny cut it off with her teeth. Then she planted it right on those cherry colored lips of Laura Harrier.
“I have to admit, those lips did look delicious,” Jenny mocked. “But mine are better. Here, you can have them.”
Jenny leaned in and kissed the duct tape right over where Laura’s mouth was. Laura let out a pathetic defeated groan. Then, Jenny resumed the regularly scheduled program and planted her chest back on Laura’s face. Eventually the younger actress fell unconscious under J-Mac’s chest.
The blonde stood up and looked at her handiwork. Then she walked over to the table and in massive strokes with her permanent marker signed her name on the fight contract.
She brought the contract over to Laura and stuffed it into the front of the sleeping woman’s blouse. Then Jenny had a delicious idea… She took the cap off of her marker and pressed the tip on Laura’s head.
The message read: J-Mac was here
And then she was gone.
Later that evening Jenny tweeted out:
Just signed the contract to fight @lauraharrier kicked her a$$ once already. Gonna do it again this October!!! #MacTheKnife baby!!!
