Post by HBO's Boxing At The Asylum on Oct 31, 2020 19:43:34 GMT -6
BEFORE:
"It's just disappointing," says Brittany with a shake of the head. "Obviously, I have the talent to get more work around here. But, girls don't want to get in the ring with me, I guess. And, after I beat Scerbo tonight, my phone probably won't ring for two or three MORE years."
"Brittany DOES have the talent to get more work around here," says Cassie without the hint of a smile. "But, tonight, she's going to find out that one of us has CHAMPIONSHIP talent, and the OTHER ONE is HER."
ROUND ONE:
O'Dell: "Back at ringside and we're joined by Alison Brie, who'll be doing a PAIR of fights with us tonight. Welcome as always, Alison..."
Alison: "Thanks, Jenny!"
O'Dell: "And, that's 'Time of the Season' you hear behind us, the Ben Taylor cover used in the 2008 remake of 'Prom Night', and here comes one of the stars of that film, the lovely Brittany Snow!"
McCarthy: "And, Snow, as I've pointed out before, actually HAS FCBA wins, so I'm not sure how she makes these cards..."
O'Dell: "Brittany into the ring and helped off with the robe to reveal that cobalt blue number we've seen before, and the crowd popping, as she looks PLENTY good in it..."
McCarthy: "With the low standards THESE people have, they're going to need PARAMEDICS when I get up there..."
One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small
And the ones your mother gives you
Don't do anything at all
O'Dell: "And, that's 'White Rabbit' by Jefferson Airplane booming through the arena, and that can only mean that 'The Heiress', Cassie Scerbo is coming to ringside..."
McCarthy: "I HATE that song. I HATE Grace Slick. And I HATE Scerbo..."
Tess: "WATCH IT!"
O'Dell: "Cassie smiling and waiving at the adoring Philly crowd before climbing into the ring to be helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve. She's looking VERY good in that white number she prefers. And, the ladies are about ready to go. Time for some picks. Tess, of course, likes Cassie. Mac?"
McCarthy: "This girl HAS FCBA wins. She'll beat the twerp!"
O'Dell: "And, Cassie has left me a note here that says she agrees with Tess!"
McCarthy: "I can't STAND it..."
Tess: "But, the rest of us LOVE it..."
O'Dell: "First split panel of the night. Let's see who's right. Snow forward early, redhead looking to aggressively cut the ring and force exchanges and managing to do it in the early going. She's got Cassie backing and covering here, as Brittany goes all pressure fighter on our colleague..."
McCarthy: "THIS is how you handle that little twerp. Just be aggressive! Which is what I'm going to do to McMann!"
Alison: "Hmm. Just as Wiz predicted. That should make the fight plan work perfectly..."
McCarthy: "I mean I'm going to box...I might dance...I might...YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I'LL DO! I'M UNPREDICTABLE!"
Alison: "Or, the most predictable person on the planet. One of those."
O'Dell (sighing): "Snow's been in charge most of the way, finding ways to keep Cassie from bouncing all over the ring, and that's allowed Brittany to get into a rhythm, get her offense going. Cassie not hurt, but she's getting the worst of it and there's the bell. End of one. Snow. Comfortably."
Tess: "And with the early 10-9 lead. With the accent on 'early'."
ROUND TWO:
O'Dell: "Snow pressuring early. Cassie making with the legs a bit more now. She's not going to get bottled up if she can help it, wants to fight in open canvas, where she can bring that preternatural speed and quickness to bear. Game of cat and mouse going on right now as a result..."
McCarthy: "Preterwhatnow?"
Tess: "OH how I wish my BFF were at the table right now..."
O'Dell (sighing): 'Excellent footwork from the redhead, who continues working to cut the ring. When she can, she's able to create exchanges and score. When she can't, it's Cassie getting the better of things, ranging around the ring, jabbing, tossing off quick flurries..."
Alison: "Close round right now."
O'Dell: "It is as we head down the stretch and Scerbo a quick combination and then another! Stops Snow in her tracks and slides away. Brittany right back to the pursuit. Cassie dancing, snapping that jab out, landing another quick flurry and there's the bell. Close this time. Scerbo."
Alison: "And we're even at 19."
ROUND THREE:
O'Dell: "Scerbo starts the round ranging around. Brittany trying to slow her down, cut the ring off, get the jab on, but it's not working. This is the Blonde Dynamo at her best. She's here, there, everywhere, but also nowhere when Brittany looks to land something..."
Tess: "THAT'S my BFF. You think you've got her lined up for something, but you don't..."
O'Dell: "And, Snow is finding that out right now. She's not throwing much, because she's not able to locate or get to spots, and a lot of what she IS throwing is short or late. Meanwhile, the blonde pretty much having her way offensively, getting to where she wants to be and getting off in combination."
Alison: "If you're wondering WHY Wiz has always wanted Cassie in his stable, look at what you're seeing. That's why."
McCarthy: "I think I threw up in my mouth a little..."
O'Dell: "Down the stretch in what's been a one-sided third. Snow tying up Scerbo now, wrestling her back into the ropes. Ten seconds to go in the round. Referee going to break the ladies apart, and the blonde bounces away, circling, circling, jabbing, and there's the bell. No doubt. Cassandra Lynn."
McCarthy: "And the twerp leads 29-28."
ROUND FOUR:
O'Dell: "Fourth begins with Snow tying up Scerbo, shoving her back into the ropes and going body. Cassie firing back, but Brittany smothering her right now with the tie ups and short body shots, working the flanks and the midsection. Ref looking in there, but not breaking them..."
McCarthy: "Snow playing this smart, doing enough work that he's not going to break."
O'Dell: "And, the redhead is getting some work done right now. She's got Scerbo pinned and she's working her over. Cassie keeping the guard up, trying to slip out of there and finally managing to do it now. Blonde in open canvas, jabbing, but the redhead stepping to and tying her up again..."
Tess: "Turning this into a wrestling match..."
O'Dell: "And, it's working for her. We've got about fifteen to go in the fourth, and it's been Brittany who's gotten the work done. Referee breaks the fighters. Scerbo back on her bicycle. Snow stalking, trying to cut the ring, but won't get it done this time. Instead, the bell rings and that ends the round. No doubt. Brittany wide."
Alison: "And we're back even, this time at 38."
ROUND FIVE:
O'Dell: "Into the fifth, and the redhead again moving in and tying up Scerbo, Cassie shoving free and circling away. Redhead moving right back in. She's determined to crowd the blonde, and that's no surprise after the way Cassie was able to dominate the third round, is it, Mac?"
McCarthy: "I've faced this kind of stuff my whole career, because NO ONE could deal with my superior athleticism!"
Tess: "Now I'M going to throw up in my mouth a little bit..."
McCarthy: "Shut UP, Walmart!"
Alison: "Drink up, boys! Sorry, Jenny, I've always wanted to say that..."
O'Dell: "Quite all right. There are nights I get TIRED of saying it. Cassie circling away. Brittany forward, trying to tie up. Cassie with a drop step AND A RIGHT HAND THAT HURT SNOW! And Scerbo goes SUGAR RAY LEONARD with a blizzard of a flurry and DOWN GOES BRITTANY!"
Tess: "I didn't even SEE that right hand!"
Alison: "Neither did Brittany, but she FELT it."
O'Dell: "Scerbo to a neutral corner. Snow flat on her back, staring wide-eyed at the ref like she has no idea what just happened. Count at three. Four. Five. Six. Brittany trying to roll to her belly. Seven. Eight. Snow trying to push to hands and knees. Nine. TEN! It's OVER! Brittany unable even to make it to all fours and it's OVER! And your winner by KO5 is 'The Heiress' Cassie Scerbo!"
McCarthy: "Luck. EE."
AFTER:
O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"
Tess: "I have our winner, Cassie Scerbo, and BFF, she was getting pretty physical in there..."
Cassie (nodding): "Wanted to offset my speed, so she tried to turn it into a slog. Not a bad strategy, but it wasn't going to work."
Tess: "Why not?"
Cassie (smiling): "Because it's been tried before. And, getting right in my face gives me too many opportunities for short power shots. Sooner or later, I'm going to time one. And, when I do? Well. You saw. You saw."
"It's just disappointing," says Brittany with a shake of the head. "Obviously, I have the talent to get more work around here. But, girls don't want to get in the ring with me, I guess. And, after I beat Scerbo tonight, my phone probably won't ring for two or three MORE years."
"Brittany DOES have the talent to get more work around here," says Cassie without the hint of a smile. "But, tonight, she's going to find out that one of us has CHAMPIONSHIP talent, and the OTHER ONE is HER."
ROUND ONE:
O'Dell: "Back at ringside and we're joined by Alison Brie, who'll be doing a PAIR of fights with us tonight. Welcome as always, Alison..."
Alison: "Thanks, Jenny!"
O'Dell: "And, that's 'Time of the Season' you hear behind us, the Ben Taylor cover used in the 2008 remake of 'Prom Night', and here comes one of the stars of that film, the lovely Brittany Snow!"
McCarthy: "And, Snow, as I've pointed out before, actually HAS FCBA wins, so I'm not sure how she makes these cards..."
O'Dell: "Brittany into the ring and helped off with the robe to reveal that cobalt blue number we've seen before, and the crowd popping, as she looks PLENTY good in it..."
McCarthy: "With the low standards THESE people have, they're going to need PARAMEDICS when I get up there..."
One pill makes you larger
And one pill makes you small
And the ones your mother gives you
Don't do anything at all
O'Dell: "And, that's 'White Rabbit' by Jefferson Airplane booming through the arena, and that can only mean that 'The Heiress', Cassie Scerbo is coming to ringside..."
McCarthy: "I HATE that song. I HATE Grace Slick. And I HATE Scerbo..."
Tess: "WATCH IT!"
O'Dell: "Cassie smiling and waiving at the adoring Philly crowd before climbing into the ring to be helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve. She's looking VERY good in that white number she prefers. And, the ladies are about ready to go. Time for some picks. Tess, of course, likes Cassie. Mac?"
McCarthy: "This girl HAS FCBA wins. She'll beat the twerp!"
O'Dell: "And, Cassie has left me a note here that says she agrees with Tess!"
McCarthy: "I can't STAND it..."
Tess: "But, the rest of us LOVE it..."
O'Dell: "First split panel of the night. Let's see who's right. Snow forward early, redhead looking to aggressively cut the ring and force exchanges and managing to do it in the early going. She's got Cassie backing and covering here, as Brittany goes all pressure fighter on our colleague..."
McCarthy: "THIS is how you handle that little twerp. Just be aggressive! Which is what I'm going to do to McMann!"
Alison: "Hmm. Just as Wiz predicted. That should make the fight plan work perfectly..."
McCarthy: "I mean I'm going to box...I might dance...I might...YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I'LL DO! I'M UNPREDICTABLE!"
Alison: "Or, the most predictable person on the planet. One of those."
O'Dell (sighing): "Snow's been in charge most of the way, finding ways to keep Cassie from bouncing all over the ring, and that's allowed Brittany to get into a rhythm, get her offense going. Cassie not hurt, but she's getting the worst of it and there's the bell. End of one. Snow. Comfortably."
Tess: "And with the early 10-9 lead. With the accent on 'early'."
ROUND TWO:
O'Dell: "Snow pressuring early. Cassie making with the legs a bit more now. She's not going to get bottled up if she can help it, wants to fight in open canvas, where she can bring that preternatural speed and quickness to bear. Game of cat and mouse going on right now as a result..."
McCarthy: "Preterwhatnow?"
Tess: "OH how I wish my BFF were at the table right now..."
O'Dell (sighing): 'Excellent footwork from the redhead, who continues working to cut the ring. When she can, she's able to create exchanges and score. When she can't, it's Cassie getting the better of things, ranging around the ring, jabbing, tossing off quick flurries..."
Alison: "Close round right now."
O'Dell: "It is as we head down the stretch and Scerbo a quick combination and then another! Stops Snow in her tracks and slides away. Brittany right back to the pursuit. Cassie dancing, snapping that jab out, landing another quick flurry and there's the bell. Close this time. Scerbo."
Alison: "And we're even at 19."
ROUND THREE:
O'Dell: "Scerbo starts the round ranging around. Brittany trying to slow her down, cut the ring off, get the jab on, but it's not working. This is the Blonde Dynamo at her best. She's here, there, everywhere, but also nowhere when Brittany looks to land something..."
Tess: "THAT'S my BFF. You think you've got her lined up for something, but you don't..."
O'Dell: "And, Snow is finding that out right now. She's not throwing much, because she's not able to locate or get to spots, and a lot of what she IS throwing is short or late. Meanwhile, the blonde pretty much having her way offensively, getting to where she wants to be and getting off in combination."
Alison: "If you're wondering WHY Wiz has always wanted Cassie in his stable, look at what you're seeing. That's why."
McCarthy: "I think I threw up in my mouth a little..."
O'Dell: "Down the stretch in what's been a one-sided third. Snow tying up Scerbo now, wrestling her back into the ropes. Ten seconds to go in the round. Referee going to break the ladies apart, and the blonde bounces away, circling, circling, jabbing, and there's the bell. No doubt. Cassandra Lynn."
McCarthy: "And the twerp leads 29-28."
ROUND FOUR:
O'Dell: "Fourth begins with Snow tying up Scerbo, shoving her back into the ropes and going body. Cassie firing back, but Brittany smothering her right now with the tie ups and short body shots, working the flanks and the midsection. Ref looking in there, but not breaking them..."
McCarthy: "Snow playing this smart, doing enough work that he's not going to break."
O'Dell: "And, the redhead is getting some work done right now. She's got Scerbo pinned and she's working her over. Cassie keeping the guard up, trying to slip out of there and finally managing to do it now. Blonde in open canvas, jabbing, but the redhead stepping to and tying her up again..."
Tess: "Turning this into a wrestling match..."
O'Dell: "And, it's working for her. We've got about fifteen to go in the fourth, and it's been Brittany who's gotten the work done. Referee breaks the fighters. Scerbo back on her bicycle. Snow stalking, trying to cut the ring, but won't get it done this time. Instead, the bell rings and that ends the round. No doubt. Brittany wide."
Alison: "And we're back even, this time at 38."
ROUND FIVE:
O'Dell: "Into the fifth, and the redhead again moving in and tying up Scerbo, Cassie shoving free and circling away. Redhead moving right back in. She's determined to crowd the blonde, and that's no surprise after the way Cassie was able to dominate the third round, is it, Mac?"
McCarthy: "I've faced this kind of stuff my whole career, because NO ONE could deal with my superior athleticism!"
Tess: "Now I'M going to throw up in my mouth a little bit..."
McCarthy: "Shut UP, Walmart!"
Alison: "Drink up, boys! Sorry, Jenny, I've always wanted to say that..."
O'Dell: "Quite all right. There are nights I get TIRED of saying it. Cassie circling away. Brittany forward, trying to tie up. Cassie with a drop step AND A RIGHT HAND THAT HURT SNOW! And Scerbo goes SUGAR RAY LEONARD with a blizzard of a flurry and DOWN GOES BRITTANY!"
Tess: "I didn't even SEE that right hand!"
Alison: "Neither did Brittany, but she FELT it."
O'Dell: "Scerbo to a neutral corner. Snow flat on her back, staring wide-eyed at the ref like she has no idea what just happened. Count at three. Four. Five. Six. Brittany trying to roll to her belly. Seven. Eight. Snow trying to push to hands and knees. Nine. TEN! It's OVER! Brittany unable even to make it to all fours and it's OVER! And your winner by KO5 is 'The Heiress' Cassie Scerbo!"
McCarthy: "Luck. EE."
AFTER:
O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"
Tess: "I have our winner, Cassie Scerbo, and BFF, she was getting pretty physical in there..."
Cassie (nodding): "Wanted to offset my speed, so she tried to turn it into a slog. Not a bad strategy, but it wasn't going to work."
Tess: "Why not?"
Cassie (smiling): "Because it's been tried before. And, getting right in my face gives me too many opportunities for short power shots. Sooner or later, I'm going to time one. And, when I do? Well. You saw. You saw."