Kristen Bell (FightingAcademy) v Elyse Willems (Comediennes)

Kristen Bell
(39 / 5’1” / 41:36:4 FCBA / The Fighting Academy)

Elyse Willems
(34 / 5’3” / 1:0 FCBA / The Comediennes)

Results: Lookout! / Story: The Comediennes

Pre-fight:

“Well as you know I’ve been on a bit of a… losing streak,” says Kristen.

She eyes Elyse from across the room, there’s no huge table or seas of flashing cameras. Only a small room for this “press conference,” a real indication of how far Kristen Bell has fallen.

“But that’s ending tonight,” Bell continues. “I mean, what is the FCBA thinking putting me in a ring with a 34-year-old rookie? She’s got one fight. That's it. No sense of what it’s like to be hit in the mouth by a champ. It’s going to be an absolute slaughter.”

“I don’t know where Kristen’s head is at,” says Elyse. “Clearly she thinks she's God’s gift to earth but when she gets in the ring with me she’s going to wish she was in the Bad Place. I might not have her experience, but at least I don’t have her 2020 record. A big goose egg in the W column. And she isn’t getting one tonight!”

R1: Kristen comes out of the corner fast. She dodges a jab and counters with one of her own, popping Elyse on the jaw. The smaller blonde does a good job landing a few more jabs. Elyse is brushed back into the corner. She’s definitely not moving as well as Kristen. Kristen steps up, throwing a few lighter combos of jabs and straights. Elyse takes some of them, but blocks most. Kristen backs off and moves towards the center of the ring. Elyse follows, albeit a bit timidly. Elyse snaps off a left jab, her first real solid hit of the night. Kristen eats it but dodges the follow up. Smoothly ducking to the side and sending a brutal hook to Elyse’s ribcage.

The Canadian backs up, as her hands drift down and it’s open season for Bell. Kristen throws a high right hook, snapping Elyse’s face to the side. Kristen feeling pretty confident now as she moves in and throws an uppercut at Elyse’s body. Elyse covers up though and pops off two straight jabs at Kristen. Kristen backs off, but Elyse now comes in and lands two more jabs. Kristen steps forward and the two trade blows, going toe-to-toe. Kristen lands more than she eats.

The bell rings. Kristen pretty definitively takes round one. 10-9 Bell.

R2: Elyse dealing with getting hit by a former champ. The two come out of their corners, Kristen moving really well considering her age. She’s slippery and Elyse’s jabs aren’t quite hitting their target. This opens Elyse up for some more body shots by Kristen. Nothing huge hits, but Kristen is doing a good job softening up that stomach. Elyse’s guard is drifting lower and lower. Kristen hits Elyse with another huge right hook and the Canadian stumbles back against the ropes.

Kristen tries to work Elyse over, but Elyse’s defense tightens up. She begins to counter Kristen and before you know it she’s worked her way off of the ropes. Neither girl really controlling the action now, a few blocked hooks and some jabs being landed. Elyse doing a great job snapping off that left jab on Kristen’s face. She hasn’t really tried anything with power yet, but she’s using her reach to keep Kristen away. Kristen a tad bit slower now as she starts to really take jab after jab. When her gloves lower that’s when Elyse takes a shot. A sneaking right-uppercut that Kristen doesn’t see coming at all! She’s backing up and hits the ropes. Elyse starts roughing her up, landing a nice combo to the head.

The bell rings. A lot of action, but with both girls against the ropes it was close. Elyse gets the round. 19-19 all.

R3: Kristen sits in her corner a little shocked at that offensive explosion at the end of the round. Her and her trainer come up with a strategy for this round, try to coax out Elyse’s potential weakness.

The two girls leave their corner, Kristen still coming out a shade quicker. And she takes another hard jab from Elyse because of it. Elyse’s left jab really working well this fight. Like a heat seeking missile, it rarely misses and when it does it doesn’t miss by much. Elyse definitely controlling the flow of this round, but Kristen isn’t giving an opportunity for anything big. She’s able to dodge a few right hooks. Elyse seems to be head-hunting now.

Kristen snaps off a few counters, nothing huge. Just enough to brush Elyse back. Kristen moving around Elyse well, definitely the quicker of the two. She can’t seem to quite shake that jab though, as it hits Kristen one, two, three more times in a row. The former champ is getting frustrated.

The bell rings. Not a lot of action that round, Elyse takes another close one. 29-28 Willems.

R4: Elyse feeling pretty good after a rough first round, having taken the last two. She gets up from her corner and makes her way to the middle of the ring. Kristen meets her there and when Elyse throws her jab… BA-BAM. A hard shot to Elyse’s jaw. Kristen follows up with a right-handed haymaker. Elyse is hurt! She stumbles and hits the rope. Kristen pounds Elyse’s body with a flurry of uppercuts. The former champ looking like her old self! Shades of when she knocked out Kelly Packard thirteen years ago! Bell shreds right through Elyse’s defenses. The Canadian has no counter to this. Crosses flying left and right. Kristen is on a mission to punish Elyse.

Elyse in disarray as her hands begin to drop. Kristen landing a head-splitting uppercut that almost takes Elyse off the canvas! And then BAM! A right hook to the temple and Elyse is down. She crashes to the floor. Spittle pours from her mouth. The ref backs Kristen away who is celebrating like it’s all over. No way she’s getting up from that barrage!

“3…4…5…” the ref counts.

Elyse shakes her head and begins pushing herself up. Everything hurts.

“7…8…9…” the ref stops and walks up to Elyse, grabbing her by the gloves and asking her if she’s okay to continue. Elyse says that she is and the fight is back on.

Now Elyse has to survive two more minutes with Kristen. She does what she can, trying to absorb heavy blows once more. She counters a few times, but this round is the Kristen Bell show. She gets Elyse against the ropes again, really hammering her. Another furious combination. Crosses to the body, then following up with two huge right hooks in a row. Elyse not throwing much of anything offensive now. Bell’s corner calls for the ref to step in.

Does he consider it? Elyse isn’t doing anything, just a punching bag for Bell at this point. She’s as defenseless as any fighter he’s seen before.

Before he can make up his mind the bell rings. Kristen with a dominant performance that round. 38-37 Bell.

R5: The ref puts Elyse’s corner on notice. Another round like that and he’s calling it. Kristen sitting in her corner like lioness, eyes narrowed as the round starts. She looks great, barely a mark on her. Elyse on the other hand looks battered. Her cheeks have already begun to swell as bruises form on her abdomen and arms.

Kristen wants to go for the kill. Elyse’s legs are unsteady, wobbly. Kristen moves definitively and with purpose. Her footwork still sharp despite her age. She nails Elyse with another right hook. How the hell does she not go down? Elyse is able to counter by popping off two left jabs at Kristen. That thing is a momentum killer. And so goes the rest of the round. Kristen landing a decent blow and Elyse stalling her momentum with that fierce jab. Kristen can’t get any sort of traction from the previous round. It’s a masterclass at offensive defense from Elyse. She absorbs some punishment, but seemingly dishes out an equal amount on her end. All the while not letting Kristen capitalize on her massive fourth round.

The round ends with neither girl getting an advantage over the other. 48-47 Bell.

R6: Kristen frustrated with that last round and comes out absolutely rushing Elyse. She’s on top of the Canadian and once again Kristen takes control of the right early. Elyse’s jab stings Kristen plenty, but the smaller girl can feel her first victory of 2020. She’s willing to eat a few jabs if it means getting in close.

And she does get in close, wickedly abusing Elyse’s torso now with an array of uppercuts and hooks. It’s a wonder how Elyse is still standing! Kristen backs her into a corner. And shades of the former champ’s past come out again. She’s walloping Elyse. Hooks to the jaw, uppercuts to the body. The ref giving Elyse’s corner a look as if he’s annoyed with them for even considering putting this rookie in with the veteran. It’s a lamb to the slaughter.

Kristen tastes the win as she continues to sink her gloves anywhere she can on Elyse’s body. Precision. Speed. Power. She’s knocking Elyse back and forth like a ping pong ball between her gloves.

But only Elyse can feel the difference between Kristen’s punches in round four and this one. They’re slower. They lack the pop they did earlier in the fight. She’s taking this beating because it’s not nearly as bad as she got it in round four. She’s waiting for her moment. Another uppercut to the ribs. Another right hook to her abdomen. Elyse absorbs punishment like a sponge.

Then she sees it… her opening. Kristen with a slow right hook to Elyse’s glove and then BOOM. Elyse’s left hand snaps out as if it was spring-loaded. The jab. The textbook beautiful jab of Elyse Willems stops Kristen’s assault in its tracks. Elyse moves forward, continuing to work that jab, peppering it all across Kristen’s face. Kristen realizes too late that she’s punched herself out! And Elyse’s jab works Kristen all the way to the opposite corner.

Now Elyse goes to town. It’s not too hard, as after a few uppercuts to Kristen’s torso her hands drop and they stay there. A hurricane of punches barrel towards Kristen’s face. Jabs, then crosses, then hooks. Elyse throws the kitchen sink at the normally crafty Bell. It’s a massive comeback! Elyse snaps one more right hook across Kristen’s jaw and down goes Bell!

The ref rushes in, Bell too slow to get up. She’s on her knees as he counts to 10!

Winner: Elyse Willems KO Round 6

Post-fight:

“Yeah well, she had me there in round four,” says a panting Elyse. “But after round five I could tell her punches didn’t have as much pop to them, so I survived and ended up knocking her down. I’m grateful to be in the FCBA and I’d think of something funny to say but I’m pretty sure my insides are bleeding.”

“I don’t know,” says a dejected Kristen in her post fight interview. “I really thought I had her there. In fact, I know I did. I just got overzealous. I controlled that fight, anyone with eyes can see that. Next time I won’t make those mistakes. And if Elyse thinks this is some great win, just remind her that the ref should have stepped in round four to stop it. Next time we fight I’ll make sure it doesn’t go further than that.”