Charlotte Church vs Lacey Chabert (JMD)

Charlotte Church vs Lacey Chabert
(Lioness Club vs Global Boxing Syndicate)
(5-12, 5 KO vs 43-37-3, 36 KO)
JMD Value: 36C (Natural) vs 32C (Natural)
Results: Lookout!; Story: Vassago

BEFORE: Welsh singer Charlotte Church is the reigning BBU JMD champion and she came within one victory away from battling for the FCBA JMD title last fall as well (denied by Natalie Alyn Lind) however she's no longer bitter over that missed opportunity and vows to steal the Queendom XI headlines against proven veteran Lacey Chabert.

The Global Boxing Syndicate has introduced some new names over the past couple of months but Chabert is still top class especially when it comes to jug muggin' rules. This buxom brunette has seen it all this side of Jennifer Love Hewitt and vows to take the Welsh tourist for a "brutal ride" as both hellcats square off during the introductions where Church makes her Welsh presence known by twerking her curves to inject more spice among the Sun City audience. Lacey hisses in anger and has to be pulled back by coach Daisy Fuentes who mocks Church by suggesting she should apply for a job at the 'Kim Kardashian school of oil wrestling' and leaves JMD to "real pros like Lacey". It's safe to say Ms Fuentes doesn't follow BBU all that much!

Charlotte Church wears a red bikini set with green trim & white gloves with the red Welsh dragon painted on them. Long auburn hair wrapped in a thick bun at the back of her head. Lacey Chabert wears a blue bikini set & black gloves. Long dark brown hair tied in a half-up ponytail. The fight is scheduled for ten rounds. JMD rules apply.

Round 1:
Charlotte on the move at the start as she clobbers the brunette straight up the middle and connects with several crisp uppercuts to leave Lacey bouncing around on her toes in hectic avoidance. The Welsh singer is the heavier of the two but lacks the experience of the American opponent and fails to make her initial burst count as Lacey gradually sticks her foot in the door and begins to pay back the slugging favor. Both women trade nasty punches in the center of the ring as Lacey refuses to back off and manages to punish the singer's breadbasket before finding more success on the uppercut drive. However Church restores command when she blasts the smaller brunette across the lips and bangs a heavy belter on her navel which wobbles Chabert onto her heels. Church dominates the phone booth exchange and backs the American onto the ropes where she cleans out more tummy and rocks the cleavage again to leave Lacey slumped at the bell.

Round 2:
Lacey uses the supreme footwork to navigate another Welsh attack and has Charlotte slicing thin air for majority of the opening minute before firing back up the middle. A couple of shots bounce off the jugs and carry up the chin and that's what Lacey needs to stretch her elbows thereafter. Church wobbles to the side after getting punked on the chin and struggles to match the American's intensity which finds many supporters in the Sun City crowd. More quick bombs rattle Church back on the turnbuckle where Lacey simply plugs her in the hole and suffocates the response through sheer volume of her attacks. Charlotte begins to gurgle in discomfort come the final stretch but she can do nothing to stop Lacey from pounding her jugs from point-blank range.

Round 3:
More of the same in the third, Charlotte is too slow on her feet to catch Lacey on the fly and gets sucked in the phone booth vacuum where the GBS girl feels truly at home. Once she lands more then then uppercuts on target Charlotte wants to get out of this jam but she gets bumped onto the ropes regardless and simply can't stretch her elbows while Chabert leans on her with more leather. She drops a couple of nasty harpoons on the liver area as well and pancakes the Welsh tourist onto the turnbuckle where she resumes the familiar drill from the previous round. It's only that Church has campaigned at bantam for most of her career that saves her from getting totally frazzled by the older brunette. Lacey gives away strenght but she's the better puncher at this stage and leaves Charlotte searching for answers at the bell.

Round 4:
Charlotte buries a promising gut-checking drive during the initial tangle before she whacks an uppercut series into the American's chest but Lacey has seen this style before and it's hard to punish her with a single effort like that. She responds straight up the middle and drills the solar plexus to make the singer really feel it down the stretch. Church finds some quick jabs to rattle Chabert in the center of the ring but the older brunette comes back for more and wants to break the singer's resilience with more pesky shots on the cleavage. Church stands up to the challenge and triggers a hectic uppercut dispute with more blows lifting Chabert's jugs but she just can't shake her off and eats a stunning hook on the nose which make Lacey giggle once the Welsh lass trips back to the ropes. No escape there and Lacey just rifles more crisp shots into the exposed Welsh rack as Church drops the third round on the bounce and is downright fuming when the bell finally relieves her from Chabert's attacks. This is following the Lionesses plan at all here.

Round 5:
Daisy Fuentes thinks it's time to blow the Welsh impostor away but Lacey comes in too hot and gets sucked into a fruitless slugging dispute against a heavier opponent. It's Lacey's speed & agility that makes the difference as Charlotte owns the superior power supply and manages to fend off the American's intentions before she nails her on the windpipe amid a wild flurry of punches. Lacey wobbles back for a brief moments and that's all it takes for Charlotte to take over as she plugs the stunned brunette between the jugs and clobbers her onto the ropes in a hurry. Lacey fires back but Church glues her mitts into her rack and begins to lift them in that familiar crowd-pleasing style while adding more raw power that drains the energy ouf of Chabert's tank. Uh-oh! Charlotte buries a nasty hook in the navel and screams out in delight when Lacey aches out her pain while she soaks up more point-blank rage in the closing seconds. Ref can't pull the singer fast enough at the bell but Lacey still gives her a lenghty bytch stare before walking back to her corner.

Round 6:
Slugging galore allows Charlotte to pick her spots a lot better than Lacey who struggles to embrace the jabbing vacuum and gets blasted in the solar plexus on top of her troubles. She yells out in anger when she gets blocked in close range and Church bumps her in jug-to-jug contact before dropping more bombs on the cleavage. Lacey begins to really feel the heat now as she bends to the side with a loud whimper but the Welsh lass still plugs her between the breasts and reels her onto the ropes... Lacey shoots over the singer's shoulder and gets SMOKED by a heavy shot on the solar plexus... she sinks into spasms as Charlotte simply bulldozes her rack and delivers a might series that renders Chabert numb... uh-oh!! Lacey bellows out on top of the ropes with her eyes closed and Charlotte pulverizes the exposed rack with five... six... seven... oh forget it... she seemingly wants to punch the older brunette topless and there's nothing coming back from Lacey anymore as SHE SLIDES DOWN IN A HEAP at the singer's feet and remains unresponsive during the otherwise slowish count. This one is over!!! KO6 Charlotte Church in come-from-behind fashion!!!

AFTER: Raw power ultimately made the difference as Charlotte was behind on the scorecards when she destroyed Lacey's rack and dropped her into a smoking heap of defeat. Guess Daisy Fuentes will regret mocking her performances across the pond after all? She throws a towel at the celebrating singer but it doesn't spare Lacey the post-fight punishment as Charlotte drags her by the hair to the center of the ring and mounts her to demand admission who owns the supreme jugs. Lacey is trapped in the school-girl pin and can do little but admit the Welsh rack is oh-so-supreme to hers and Church enjoys this so much she squeezes Lacey's head between her thighs a little longer than expected before finally putting her in the breast-smother misery. Lacey stops kicking out before the Sun City crowd's loud count reaches twenty five and Charlotte swiftly removes her bikini top to claim the traditional battle trophy. She waves it at Daisy Fuentes and yells back at her: "Now take out the trash! She's all yours, Miss Old Pants!". Daisy tries to enter the ring and make Charlotte eat those words on the spot but the crowd doesn't like it and the furious Cuban has to simply carry off the fallen Lacey instead. This is one that definitely got away from the GBS entourage!

Official Result: Charlotte Church def. Lacey Chabert KO6.