(Belated) Cinco de Mayo boxing: Camila Mendes vs Miley Cyrus

Before: Festive atmosphere hiding the fact that this is a must-win fight for both. Forget the wide-open flyweight title picture, Miley needs this win to avoid falling below .500! Meanwhile, Camila has to be looking ahead to the fall. Odds & Ends has a “Mila clause” in its charter and it has been invoked twice before. If Olivia carries the belts into October, Mendes owes it to herself to be ready for her!



But for now, it’s a rowdy, ready crowd as lime wedges and tamale husks promise the cleaning crew an overtime bonus. Miley entering in her fighting whites, battle braid, white gloves. Camila in a black high-waisted bikini, black gloves, hair loose but slicked back



R1: Camila on her toes, bouncing to either side, looking limber, relaxed. Miley scowling, elbows in/dukes up as she stalks, nimble Mendes turning either blonde flank, dousing her via peppering jab to keep Cyrus' heavy hands holstered. Camila feinting on the step-in - getting Cyrus to crouch in earmuff - then hoisting hook-to-liver in behind Miley's right elbow. Strong blonde body takes the shots well, but Camila pretty slick here - sinking in the gancha punch like a Mexico-city show-girl.





R2: Miley methodically deploying a heavy step-and-jab routine to Camila's chest: humbling jubblies in spots. Mendes the more active vixen again - jabbing; slinging right hands up top; stepping in on front (left) leg to lick close-in uppercuts from either hand. Cyrus able to get lanky downstairs, digging away to ribs/belly with that gangly, chugging punching motion on both arms. Jeri shouting encouragement from ringside: "Walk her down, Miley - atta girl!"



R3: Drilling, determined one-twos penetrate Camila's guard after a few attempts, knocking back brunette head; buckling brunette legs. Mendes on her heels, wide eyed and spooked: Cyrus walks her down, hooks her tummy, pushes her into ropes with a bully's scowl. Credit Camila: she's rocked, but combative - bouncing off ropes to duck down and fit Miley's tummy for a shoving right; straightening up to hook-with inside, beating bigger blonde girl back a step. Cyrus snarling, pouring in righty over the top, Mendes doing a good job ducking under, then working on the inside as girls fall in. Scrappy stuff - Miley's round due to early power, but Camila's got her legs back by the bell.



R4: Loping, stepping, clockwise footwork; pinging jabs/slinging straight right hands from outside; licking, tight-arc uppercuts from in close, nibbling at Miley's chin, or digging at her ribcage. Cyrus turning to her right, weight on right (back) leg as she maintains a tight earmuff guard...she's blocking a lot of shots, but getting touched up...Miley just not letting her hands go as Camila hustles for points.



R5: Miley's heavy hands show their quality, stepping in the jab off her brow to knock back Camila's head, or pound at her breasts. Thudding impact disorients Mendes, Cyrus able to close up the middle; drop a short right up top; hook the midsection, brunette forced out of her wheeling pattern to scamper in retreat. Miley being the bigger girl, walking Camila down, blonde bullies brunette for points in the seventh.



R6 Left/right/left/right - straight, swift combination humbles Miley's rack at the open: she grimaces, covers up tight with fists pressing into cheeks/elbows tight against her body, protecting jugs. Camila redeploys mitts to either flank - small gloves bouncing PIK! PAK! PEK! off Miley's lats as blonde girl stoops forward into hurt. Mendes with a half-step back; little left uppercut to pick Cyrus up as she's baby-stepping forward; digging left hook behind right elbow, keeping her blonde hurt. Brawny little left-shoulder bump, then Camila pivots-left, turning Miley's right flank, obliging her blonde to turn and give chase. Left/right/left peppers Miley's tight guard, keeping her covered up: whacking, limber left spanks off flank in behind blonde right elbow, drawing a cringe-and-wince from Cyrus. Digging right uppercut to sternum; wide, slappy left hook to ear, Mendes loosening up, having fun in there as Miley stumbles into punishment. Cyrus big and strong, but taking-tragic, just blunders forward, lets Mendes tattoo her up and down in the first minute. Down the stretch, teary-eyed Miley backs into ropes, arms still in tight dukes-up peek-a-boo, Camila leans in on front leg; pumps left uppercut to belly; hesitates; jerks left uppercut to chin, splitting Miley's mitts and wobbling her backside! Mendes pivots to her right, hooking apart Miley's guard up top; pouring a right hand across breasts; popping hips-right and lifting a joyous hook into Miley's breadbasket and DOWN GOES CYRUS! Miley groaning on the way down, dropping gut-shot to all fours...she's a huffing, puffing wreck and she can't get off her knees!

KO6 as Camila establishes her gatekeeper cred!



After: Camila posing and preening as she makes a circuit of the ring to an appreciative audience, pausing to give the BWO photographer a chance to take his time as she blows Smackey a kiss. She comes back to midring to give Tractorpull their obligatory interview WHEN THE MIKE IS RIPPED AWAY!



Cierra Ramirez: “WTF is this? Becky and Me should have been the ones to lay out this washed up blonde, not this plastic Brasilena….” That’s enough, Camila lunges, they take the conversation to the canvas, trading the top spot three times before Cierra pins Mendes to the mat, shouting into her face before security finally hits the ring and tackles her away.



Later press releases reveal these two have scheduled a beach bout for early this summer: