3. Avril Lavigne vs. Michelle Williams

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Avril Lavigne
(35, 5’1½, 125 lbs, 32:12 FCBA, The Dollhouse)
Vs.
Michelle Williams
(39, 5’4, 114 lbs, 146:67:7 FCBA, HISC)

Results: Lookout!; Story: Caspian & The Dollhouse

BEFORE:
Next on the agenda for tonight is what promises to be a huge battle between the current number one contender at Flyweight Avril Lavigne and legendary Hall of Famer and former 13 time champion Michelle Williams!
At the press conference earlier tonight, Ms Lavigne practically jumping up and down in her seat when a reporter asks her about her title prospects after beating Camila Mendes most recently, and now finding herself on a four-fight bragging streak.

“Now that I’m the No.1 Contender,” Avril says with a large grin and pose. “I think it’s the perfect time to prove why I’m deserving of the title by finallly beating up overrated has-beens like Michelle. Hell yeah!” she laughs, as some clapping can be heard from various corners of the room. “I mean, Williams is good and all, but she can’t be THAT good. Not anymore, anyway. There’s a reason Boxing World has ranked me three places higher, and that’s cos’ they know I’m simply better.”

The Doll continues, to the detriment of the person she’s talking about, Michelle Williams glaring at her from the other end of the table. “Michelle’s been talking a lot of sh*t about me lately. She thinks Emma is the best Dollhouse fly….pffft…Pah-lease.” Avril snorts. “I guess she’s blind? or just jealous. Seems like she’s not dealing too well with getting old!” Avril giggles as the rest of the room also chuckles nervously. “They say Kristin Kreuk decided to retire after I kicked her ass… Grandma Michelle will be smart to do the same tonight, because I’m gonna f*ck HER UUUUUPPPPPP!” Avril ends her threat with a melody, showing off that bratty sense of humour.

When it’s Michelle’s turn at the microphone, the HISC starlet and recent Hall-of-Famer has both anger and amusement on her face as she turns to address Avril directly. “Look, it’s pretty simple. You’re an uneducated, lazy, spoiled brat, Av. That will never change. I wonder if you seriously believe you can beat me, despite me beating every single woman who’s forced your medical team to scrape you off the mat these last two years. That list, in case all those knockouts have damaged your miniscule brain, includes Collins, Panetteire, Lowndes, Mendes, Watson, and not to mention, your little bestie - Nessa, TWICE.” Michelle pauses for emphasis as the rest of the room grows quiet from the weight of her logic, immediately erasing Avril’s smug smile from the Candian’s face .

“You’re in for a rude awakening tonight, Av. You know why? Because you don’t have the intelligence, conditioning, or the skill to beat me. You don’t have the work ethic. I’m still faster and stronger than you, even at 39. And you’re not getting any younger yourself hon. 4 years from now you’ll be where I am, and by the looks of it – not looking nearly as good as I do.” Michelle chuckles, as Avril’s face turns a darker and darker shade of red. “You should be taking notes from Emma honestly. Like I always say, she’s the REAL future of the Dollhouse’s Flyweight division. You wanna end my career? You and what gun? Hon, your fans will hardly recognize you after a few rounds with me in that ring. So if we’re talking about careers ending tonight, I’d say both your singing and boxing careers are at serious risk tonight. And you know what, guys? Based on her latest album, I’d probably be doing you all a service,” Michelle smiles broadly as a portion of the press room lets out a roar of laughter, which clearly infuriates and humiliates the blonde singer who has released her comeback album early this year.

“You jealous b*tch.” Lavigne’s response is immediate and loud. “Some of us are actual ARTISTS! All you do is play make belief and pretend to be someone you’re not. Gee, how HARD and IMPRESSIVE!” Avril bites back, rolling her eyes.

Michelle chuckles, remaining completely unimpressed and as sharp as ever: “I’ll be the only artist in that ring tonight, Av. Trust me.”

“What-EVERRRR, MISHY!” Lavigne whips her hair to the side, partially to hide her growing embarrassment at being out-worked with words.

Before things can escalate further, both girls are escorted away by the army of security personnel which has been doubled for this season finale. These guys have been specially hired to make sure the girls don’t tear each other’s heads off prematurely (not that we would complain if it happened), which seems to have worked well thus far, but our night is still young…

Few hours later and it’s fight time for both women - Michelle Williams making her entrance in a dazzling display of silver and golden sparkles, the Consortium really going out of their way to make sure everyone in the arena knows what a big star she is. After Kristin Kreuk’s abrupt retirement from the sport, we’d say that Williams’ limelight has only grown brighter, being the face of the Consortium’s hopes and dreams in an already spectacular line-up tonight. Williams dressed in a blue sports bra, white boxing trunks with a black outline, donning blue boxing gloves on either hand. Accompanied by HISC personnel as the 13 time former champion makes her way to the ring without much fuss – Williams knows this business in and out and is focused on one goal tonight – taking down ‘Queen Lavigne’.

Next out is the Dollhouse Queen herself, wanting to outdo any and all opponents who come into her domain as the stage erupts in pink flames and other pyrotechnics to announce the arrival of the self-proclaimed Queen her stable’s flyweight division. Avril striking a tough-girl pose, raising on arm in the air as her fans go crazy for her, before striding down the ramp in a regal black fur cape wrapped tight around her signature fighting attire of black and pink sports bra and fighting tights. Her head, as expected, is adorned with the silver crown she has worn to the ring ever since proclaiming herself Queen Lavigne a year ago.

The Canadian songstress is accompanied to the ring by Dollhouse CEO Carmen Electra and head trainer Kristanna Loken, in what may be the Doll’s toughest and biggest fight of her boxing career.

Michelle eyeing Avril warily from her corner of the ring, looking a little impatient at the overt display of ego from the spoiled Canadian. Girls meet briefly in the center for a final runthrough by the ref, with Lavigne already rolling her eyes impatiently, but it seems like the ref has been instructed to position himself right between these two women in case one of them decides to start the match early with a slap to the face or a lunge for the hair. Finally, the ref sends both girls back to their respective corners and we’re all set to start this fight! The bell rings and HERE we go with ten rounds of top tier Flyweight action!

ROUND 1:
Avril wants to show the whole world that she’s rightly the number one contender to the throne, can f*ck “old has-beens” like Michelle up whenever she so desires. She starts the fight highly aggressive - yes, even more so than usual - rushing at Williams at the bell and just wailing on the Hall-of-Famer from the get go. Good lord, it’s like she’s ignoring all the advice of her trainers and the fact that Williams is a gazillion times former champion, having seen and done everything by this point in the ring. But perhaps Avril’s wanton aggression will be something new that she hasn’t. It certainly looks that way to start, with Avril leaping in and banging away, leaving Williams little choice but to cover up and do her best to fight back. Lavigne trapping Michelle in her own corner as she rocks her guard with lefts and rights, swipes at her body and arms in quick, alternate succession. She’s scoring plenty, but it’s definitely not enough to subdue Williams so early, who also fires right back with shots to Avril’s face, but it’s as though the Dollhouse Queen can’t give a crap, as Avril takes the stuffing and continues her blatant temper tantrum all over Williams’ frame. Williams’ experience comes into play late in the round, however, as she manages to subdue this raging demon with a tight clinch and pin down into the ropes, even as Avril absolutely THRASHES about in her grasp, like being exorcised. Bell rings and Williams still hasn’t done enough to salvage this opening round, but the referee has to physically restrain Lavigne from leaping back towards Williams once she’s released from the hold, herding her back to corner in a rage. What an opening round!

ROUND 2:
It’s understandable that it is going to take a while for Michelle Williams to acclimatize to her opponent’s unpredictable nature, and she’s still struggling to deal with Avril’s wild punching left right right left in haphazard fashion. I think we might see Lavigne keeping up this strategy of getting close and making her opponents uneasy, before shocking them with stiff blows to the arms, using quantity over quality in order to score points. It works for the first minute, till Avril’s smacked across the face by a counter-hook, Williams showing her chops by blocking and then dishing out, making Avril eat her own confidence as she stumbles a few paces right. The Doll not done, however, springing forward again, not having learnt her lesson. But Michelle’s looking less and less troubled by her tactics, keeps her guard firm in place, then targets the body with snap snap snapping leather sent into Avril’s midsection, driving her back. Bell rings and Avril's glaring back in shock, eyes wide that her usual scare tactics have not worked this time. By our estimates, that smirk on Williams’ face is justified as she walks away with a wide round!

ROUND 3:
Avril looking slightly more subdued now that she’s aware that her opponent has her own strategy figured out, or partially at least. Michelle with her arms up, jumping excitedly on the balls of her feet, as though goading Avril to bring it on again and see what kind of hurt she’s in for. But Avril not taking the bait, stays away and circles, and the first minute has the longest slowdown of the action, with both girls trading jabs from afar. Avril still going after the head and guard, thinking that a hard knock to the aging actress’ face would be more than enough to turn her lights off. But Michelle shooting fists right back, hard thumps into the Canadian singer’s soft body, blocking most of Avril’s attacks and then swinging low and hard. Bell rings and it looks like both these women have paid their dues this round in an effort to break the stalemate.

ROUND 4:
Round four and all of a sudden it’s Michelle Williams with a charge forward of her own! The older actress certainly not f*cking around anymore as she decides to take the fight to her younger counterpart! Avril spooked at first as Williams meets her in the middle, takes another stiff combo to her sternum before she knows what’s happening. Avril grunts, doubles over slightly but somehow absorbs the pain and SWINGS right back! Taste of her own medicine as Williams now on the receiving end of a hard swipe across the face, sending her head rolling to the right, the rest of her body flying after! Avril demonstrating some surprising power and determination in her punches, letting out a loud squeal of delight as she gives chase, given open field to plow punches through the holes in Williams’ defences, slamming gloves into her body and then returning to head-hunting action by knocking the side of her head, trying her best to knock the Consortium star down to the canvas. But Williams finding the relative safety of the ropes as she keeps her back glued there, arms locked over her face as she weathers the assault for the final seconds of the round, and Avril has to be pulled off when the bell finally rings, leaving a red-faced Williams panting hard as she survives that beating!

ROUND 5:
Good back-and-forth action from these two, continuing that tradition of getting in close and bashing each other’s face in. Avril still on fire, brimming with energy as she wades in once more, bats another hook off of Wiliams’ arms, then powers a straight hand down the middle of her arms, driving the former champion back. But Williams controlling the action in the second minute, driving her own glove into the singer’s body before snapping her head up with an uppercut outta nowhere. She may be 39 this year but boy is she moving like someone ten years younger! Avril getting careless in her pursuit of a coveted knockdown, batters Michelle’s guard but doesn’t pay enough attention to her own, keeps eating jabs to the face as the tide starts to turn in this fight, forcing the Doll to cover up for the first time and keep her distance. Williams taking the round wide as a result, smirking behind her gloves as Avril seems visibly upset now in her corner, arguing with Loken.

ROUND 6:
Things are not looking up for Avril as we cross over to the second half. Queen Lavigne slow to leave her corner, looking much less spirited and fatigued than before – exerting maybe a bit TOO much energy these last two rounds. Michelle doesn’t care though, more belly punishment from the Hall of Famer, who exclusively targets the singer’s body, using her impressive stamina to poke and prod and plow in, driving the hurt singer backwards. Avril always a split second too slow defending herself, growing frustrated as another one-two punches drive into her tummy, then her ribs getting a beating, draws a loud houufff from the Doll’s lips, then a strangled shriek. Michelle pushing and shoving her frame into hers, swinging and swinging hard at the body, with Avril desperately covering up her middle with both hands but getting shoved into the ropes as a result. Williams not caring, of course, gets in close and BASHES away, elbows flying, chugging in and out, the older blonde GOING TO TOWN on the poor woman’s stomach!! OUFFF! Avril groaning as she’s powerless in there, taking a whole lot of punishment before she’s finally forced DOWN TO HER KNEES! Not the KNOCKDOWN we were expecting, but it counts no less! Poor Avril takes a knee as the ref jumps in to stop the action, pushing Williams away from the gasping Canadian. Michelle turns around, raises her arms to the crowd with a smirk as her fans give her a standing ovation. Referee starting the count, giving the troubled singer another 10 seconds to recover. A look of great concern in the Dollhouse’s corner as a panting Avril seems to be having difficulties breathing. The Queen remains bent over on her knees hugging her tummy 7 long seconds before eventually pulling herself up with the help of the ropes, making it back to shaky feet in the nick of time! (9.5) Her entire body trembling and face contorted in pain, and luckily for her this round is over, Michelle frustrated for not being allowed to finish her opponent off.

Roar of support from her fans as Lavigne manages to stave off disaster here! Williams herself looks shocked from corner - she really thought all that body abuse would have taken its toll on the weaker woman back there. Still, Avril stumbles back to corner, both hands clutching her body, however, and we can’t help but wonder if she should have stayed down.

ROUND 7:
No matter, according to Williams, who’s already comfortably in the lead and vows to finish the Canadian in the seventh. Bell rings and we’re still worried for Lavigne, who’s taking baby steps out of her corner, every step sending aching spasms through the rest of her body. Williams in no such trouble, marching forward with her arms already lowered and pulled back to batter that belly some more! Avril with little choice but to cover up and move, hopefully survive these three minutes and then come back with a vengeance. Williams trying to get in close and fire off her tough hooks, but finding her shots blocked as Lavigne holds her own arms firmly over her flanks, occasionally shoving a return punch into Michelle’s lips, which dazes the Consortium starlet, especially when another one-two shots crack into her cheek. Michelle stunned for a moment, confused as to how an Avril-comeback could even be possible at this stage. But Lavigne rushing in all of a sudden, snarling loudly as she slams another cross into the arms, then catches Williams right on the cheek with a dull hook, which sends her spiraling! Williams in trouble!! The big blonde’s hurt as she stumbles back, trying to stave off disaster. But Avril smells blood rushing into her and SWINGS AWAY, landing clean shots on the poor woman’s face as Williams winces and arms flailing in the air, until she gets SENT DOWN by a rabid series of hooks! OUCH!! Lavigne scores that KNOCKDOWN she’s been after, continuing to slam leather into Michelle’s face all the way down to the floor, until the referee has to cover Michelle up and remind the Doll that this ain’t Mixed Martial Arts, sweetheart! Lavigne not caring, still hurling tired sounding insults down into her face even as she’s herded back to corner, watching as Michelle does her best to recover. Michelle grunting as she tries pushing off her chest, but all those shots to the head have surely taken their toll - her head’s swimming, disoriented as she barely makes it off her chest when the ref passes the 10-count and WAVES the rest of her chances off! It’s OVER!! WHAT?!!?

Official Decision: Avril Lavigne defeats Michelle Williams via KO7!

AFTER:
Probably the toughest fight of her career, and Ms Avril Lavigne has emerged victorious, but at what cost?! Lavigne immediately collapsing against the ropes, panting hard as she tries to keep herself up with the support of the top rope, but allows herself a tired smile knowing that she has done it.

It doesn’t take long for the Canadian to catch her breath enough for a loud “Helllllllll yeahhhhhh!! And a raise of one arm, grinning from side the side as her fans fill the arena with “A-VRIL! A-VRIL” chants. “Mishy can’t get uuuup!!!” Avril declares, strutting over to Mishy’s who is still down on the mat on her stomach. “AND STAY DOWN, BITTTTCCCH!!!” Avril sneers down she passes her defeated opponent like a dog on the street, then celebrates by mounting the turnbuckle to soak in the applause from the home crowd.

Michelle Williams turns over on the canvas, chest heaving hard as she buries her face in both hands at this disappointing loss tonight. But her peace gets interrupted by the sudden appearance of Lavigne, who rushes over after her celebration to make sure Ms Williams does not get away easily. Michelle letting out a gasp as she’s grabbed by two handfuls of hair, dragged to her feet by Lavigne, the Doll shouting into her face, “Retirement walk, b*tch!”.

Quite a rare sight to see as a Hall-of-Famer is led around the ring by force, Avril giggling as she knees the dazed older blonde in her ass several times for extra motivation, a harder knee-lift each time Williams tries to struggle free. After circling the ring once, the odd couple stop by the ropes, a mischievous glint in Avril’s eyes as the singer signals to the fans. Shoving Michelle against the ropes, the American does her best to hold onto the ropes for support, but Avril has other plans – with a sudden move the Canadian BUMPS her plump ass with great force into Michelle’s body, causing Michelle to tumble THROUGH THE ROPES falling down onto the ringside apron with a SPLAT!!!

“GOOODBYYYYYYEEEEE!” Avril laughs as the crowd roars in both shock and approval “And don’t come back! You’re too old for this b*tch!” Avril shouts from atop the ropes, amused as one can be as she starts skipping playfully about the empty ring, as though successfully reclaiming her domain.

“RE-TI-RE!!! RE-TI-RE!!!” Avril begins chanting, clapping and stomping the mat in rhythm as her fans join in, like a loud choir urging the Hall of Famer to retire as they easily eclipsing the boos heard in the arena from the many angry Michelle Williams fans.

Lavigne ends the celebration with more self-applause, blowing kisses to fans as she giggles and grins in all direction, her stable mates now celebrating in the ring with her, with Carmen Electra placing the crown back on top of the Queen’s head.

Finally, the Doll stops in the center and gestures for a microphone to be brought to her.

“People like to think I’m just a dumb blonde. People told me I’m wreckless, stupid, hot headed….WHAT-EVERRRR.” Avril pauses as the crowd roars. “Guess what bitches? I can still f*ck all these girls up no matter what you think or say about me. I have my own style, I do things my own way…and I don’t give a sh*t!” She stops again, still breathing hard. “If you’re still not convinced, Michelle can tell you all about how dumb I am. Haha! But first….get that old hag some help will ya?” Avril snorts, looking down at Michelle from inside the ring, with the Hall of Famer still being helped to her feet outside the ring.

“I want a title shot! I don’t care who it is - I’m going to f*ck her up and take that belt home – try to stop me bitches!” The blonde exclaims, grinning from ear to ear at the approval from the fans, before walking towards her corner to exit the ring. However, she suddenly stops mid-way, raising the black microphone to her mouth again.

“Oh and….good luck to my sister Nessa who’s going Kick Emma’s irrelevant skinny ass in about 30 minutes! Wooooo!!!” the victorious blonde giggles, finally satisfied and handing the microphone away, climbing out of the ring with the help of Dollhouse security, who do their best to shield the 5’2 singer away from Michelle’s camp, who are still grouped up around their fighter, looking mightily pissed indeed, with Michelle herself – already on her feet and clear headed - giving Avril one hell of a stare from afar, letting the Canadian know she has plenty to settle with her before she gives room to any thoughts about retirement. 2020 is going to be very interesting at the top of the Flyweight division, that’s for sure folks!