CBAD: Avril Lavigne vs. Madison Beer (FCBA Debut)

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Avril Lavigne
(34, 5’2, 120 lbs, 28:12 FCBA, The Dollhouse)
Vs.
Madison Beer
(20, 5’5, 112 lbs, FCBA Debut, Free Agent)

Results: Lookout!; Story: Caspian & The Dollhouse

BEFORE:
Avril making a quick turnaround after her last bout with Emma Watson didn't turn out exactly as she'd hoped. If the Doll was feeling less-than-stellar, however, she ain't showing it, back to bouncing in her seat as she addresses the crowd at the pre-fight press conference.

"When Carmen first told me this “Madison” chick wanted to fight me, I was like… “Excuse me? WHO?!” Then I looked her up, and SOMEHOW, she has twice as many Instagram followers me… I was like – “Tha f*ck?! Who is this b*tch?!” But then I realized why… her IG is full of slutty, half-naked selfies.” Avril rolls her eyes. “How shocking! Another teenage sl*t who probably can't even sing, and she wants to be a star…Well, if I can't stop her 'singing' career, I can at least stop her delusions about having a boxing career.” Lavigne chuckles as she turns to address Madison directly from across the table. “Is she even out of high school yet? Like, seriously, what makes you think you stand a chance, Ms BEER? What kinda dumb name is that anyway? Does it stand for all the beer I'm gonna be drinking to celebrate my win tonight?” Avril laughs as she imitates downing a 6-pack at the table.

Madison Beer however looking just plain amused at her opponent's antics. This being the 20 year old singer first official contest in the ring, it's small wonder that she doesn't look more nervous in front of all these reporters. When one considers the fact that she's up against the Dollhouse Flyweight Queen herself, we're wondering what this rookie's nerves are made of.

"Can't sing?” Madison smiles in amusement. “How about we have a singing contest, like, right now!? I'll sing you out of this building, you washed up b*tch. You're completely irrelevant music-wise, Av.
Us young generation are taking over. Time to accept it! I and everyone else already know I'm a better singer than you, and I can probably beat you in a fight too…”

"I'm not here to sing tonight, b*tch. I'm here to kick your weak ass!” Avril interrupting with a snarl.

Madison giggling back immediately. “Yeah, sure. It's okay, you're doing us all a favour by refusing to sing, Av, trust me. And guess what? I'm here to kick your FAT ass.” A silent, tense moment in the room as both girls stare daggers at each other before Madison casually continues.

“So, Anyway, I've been really enjoying boxing lately, and training for a few months now. I really want to get signed, so making a good first impression tonight is important to me. I thought Avril was a great option to beat up: I'm at least three inches taller than her and I'm gonna make her life hell in that ring. We all saw what Emma Watson did to her earlier this month, so I think I have a pretty good shot here tonight. Avril is frankly too old and too small to keep up with me. I'm a lean, mean, ass-kicking machine!” Madison flexes her arm as she lets out another giggle. “And I'll prove it tonight by beating you up!“

“WHAT-EVERRR, b*tch!” Avril responding with a big eye-roll. “I'll send you back to f*cking high school. You're a warm-up fight! I have way bigger fish to fry…You should be *thanking* me for accepting your joke of a challenge and giving you the publicity, since you're an absolute nobody!”

"Sure, I agree. I'll make sure to leave a thank-you note in your bra after I knock you out, KAY?" Madison smirks as she waves off Avril's threat with a hand.

A growl from Lavigne comes right back and gosh, I don't think we've ever seen the Queen so riled up before! “Whatever, let's just get this over with… isn't it past your bedtime already?!"

Strut to the ring is matched by both girls, who are both determined to outshine one another tonight. Avril in her Dollhouse pink and black, hair in a high ponytail, the Queen seems to be in high spirits as she giggles and high fives fans on her way to the ring. The Canadian may have a big mouth but she's certainly managed to back it up on more than one occasion. Madison looking equally sensational in her debut, rocking a black sports bra top with golden trims and matching tight hotpants, her brown hair in a sleek ponytail down back and her young slim body looking fighting fit as she struts towards the ring to some loud cheers. Lots of Beer fans in attendance tonight as this upcoming talent makes her FCBA debut.

Girls don't bother exchanging any pleasantries in th ering... and the referee powerless to do anything either. These gals want to get their hands on each other and there's no stopping for rules or other nonsense. With a wave of his hand, HERE we go with ten rounds of Flyweight action!

ROUND 1:
And it seems like Avril is all business tonight as she beelines towards the younger singer from the opening bell. The Doll's going full steam ahead, wanting to dominate the rookie and show her how this boxing thing is done. But Beer surprisingly doing the exact same thing, ALSO rushing forward to meet the Queen in a match for her confidence! Result is an explosive exchange of punches thrown at each other for the first minute alone, as these two girls go at it with wild lefts and rights landing to the face and body. They're getting up close and personal, not bothering with their guard as they end up tied up in each other's arms anyway, any free hand just used to wail away at the body or head, and free fingers pulling at hair even when they don't manage to pull free. Avril herself shrieking out loud when Madison resorts to some early dirty tactics, tugging sharply on her strawberry tresses, a wild move that she's definitely gonna get marks deducted for. But Beer not giving a sh*t, landing more potshots into Avril's body as the Doll struggles to get loose, KNOCKS the Queen silly with a follow-up hook to Lavigne's cheek! Crowd goes wild as the feisty brunette punishes the blonde early for her arrogance, but Avril surviving the first round by the skin of her teeth as she catches hold of the top rope and doesn't let go! Beer with a heart-pumping start to her boxing career and a wide round for herself!

ROUND 2:
That look in Avril's eye is pure shock and awe, ladies and gentlemen! The Doll not so wholly assured any longer as she starts this second round staying way back, jabbing at Madison from afar. Beer switching gears as well, matching the blonde punch for punch, also hanging back and using her longer reach advantage to great effect. Lavigne again getting pummeled to the face by stiff strikes flying in out of nowhere, as Madison targets her face over and over with an agility befitting a veteran fighter. Avril having trouble landing shots in return, with her shoulder and arm length just too short to match the distance between them. More grunts from the Canadian’s lips as Beer pushes in a third straight punch, with no intention of stopping. But Avril's stubbornness once again saves her from oblivion as she manages to DUCK under a wild hook sailing in from the newcomer, then clinching up with Madison with arms wrapped around her chest, bullying her all the way back to the bell and securing some much needed breathing space. “The hell?! Why the f*ck are her arms so long?!” A distraught Lavigne is heard grumbling to coach Loken after the bell. Regardless, Beer with another fantastic round for herself, whilst Avril continues to flounder for an answer. Someone better sign this girl up immediately!

ROUND 3:
Avril's experience finally bearing some fruit, as she plays defensive in the hopes of stemming the bleeding on her end. It's a bold strategy for the Doll, who's definitely used to the more brazen and in-your-face kinda moves. Here though she hangs back, not scoring a lot of points but does manage to defend against Beer's incoming punches better. The rookie going all out in the third, however, also a bold move considering we're this early into the fight. Madison expending lots of energy trying to crack this girl's defences, but her jabs only occasionally scarring Avril’s forearms and little else. Towards the third minute and Avril’s actually the one scoring big: a one-two pounder lands clean on Maddy's face, stunning her bad, then another combination rocks her body, with Beer not used to eating leather of such magnitude. Lavigne clawing her way back into relevance as she finally takes a round for herself!

ROUND 4:
More trouble in paradise however when Beer looks determined to keep up the pressure by any means necessary. There's just no stopping this feisty young brunette, is there? She floors the accelerator even with her tank that must be running on empty, goes charging at Avril for the fourth round straight, and even though she knows it might have limited success. Avril more surprised than hurt when an early combination to the face sends her reeling, but Madison's followup jabs are taken on the gloves at the last minute. Girls repeat the previous round with more precise jabs landing on face and body from afar, with Beer following Avril wherever she goes and Lavigne doing her best to block, weave and parry, before unleashing with flurries of her own. The rookie as a result soaking up lots of punishment to the face, but STILL refuses to back down, goes after Avril’s head with another big hook, followed by an uppercut roaring down the middle… BLAM!! Avril catching the first swing on her raised arm, but powerless to stop the other - her head goes flying upwards as she’s nailed hard on the chin. Lavigne letting out a painful grunt as she sails backwards into the ropes, looking starry-eyed!! HERE COMES MADISON looking to finish… More grunts of pain from Avril's weary lips as her body's rocked left and right, Madison getting in close and dirty, elbows chugging in and out, batting away at Avril’s desperate guard before burying her fists into the body. Only thing the Queen can do is clinch up again to save her life, Avril’s mouth hanging open on the rookie's shoulder as she takes the abuse and makes it to the end of the round. Bell rings and at least she's still standing, by gosh! Madison Beer with a fourth round massacre of the veteran and a victory-in-principle for Ms Lavigne, who manages to stay off her back at least!

ROUND 5:
Avril having survived this fight thus far, but she must be kicking herself at having this much trouble putting away a new girl like Maddy Beer. Madison’s done a lot for herself already, having proven her worth more than ten times over. She now comes out of her corner looking quite gassed compared to her early rounds self and moving visibly slower. Girls spend the first minute or so just circling warily, flicking punches at each other without much speed or venom. Avril soon realising her opponent’s tiring and hesitant and tries to push forward, hoping to make up for lost time by hounding Madison to the head and driving her backwards across the ring. Beer suddenly looking not too hot as she allows Avril’s jabs to easily slip in past her defences and slam into her face hard - only a rookie would let her own hands fall repeatedly, and so casually allow those shots in. Lavigne however still lacking the confidence to put Beer away permanently, and the round ends still without a knockdown from either corner, but Avril is all smiles once the round ends, cocky demeanor back in full glory as she lifts both arms above her head as she makes her way back to her corner.

ROUND 6:
Beer left off the last round still clinging onto the top rope, face awash with pain from Avril’s repeated attacks. Here comes the Doll again, using her newfound confidence to seize the battle while she’s got the advantage. Madison struggling to manage her energy levels, gets taken for another ride when the Doll’s superior firepower allows Avril to slap that face silly with sudden aggression, leather landing left and right as the slim brunette does her best to defend the onslaught but is visibly struggling. Avril going all out as she gets closer and closer, like a lioness setting her sights on her wounded prey, takes another low swipe at the tummy, which folds Madison over with a loud groan, before she SCORES another hook straight into the newcomer’s face, sending Madison sprawling down to the canvas! It’s a KNOCKDOWN for Avril Lavigne!

A wild ride indeed for this contest as Avril takes sixth rounds to get the job done, but finish her opponent off in style she does! Madison down on her tummy, looking groggily around as the count reaches 4….5….6….the young singer starting to rise, now on all fours, grabbing the middle ropes in a valiant attempt to pull herself up and keep going, but she is too slow, too disoriented…and CRASHES back down to the mat on her butt as the referee reaches 10! It’s all over!

Official Decision: Avril Lavigne defeats Madison Beer via KO6!

AFTER:
Phew! Not the best showing from the Dollhouse Queen tonight as she severely underestimates her competition again, but still avoiding an embarrassment tonight by getting the job done after 6 rounds.

“Stay down, b*tch!” A fatigued looking Avril shouting from across the ring, taking a minute to regain some stamina and fix her breathing as she leans back against the ropes, wiping some sweat off her brow as she contemplates her next move.

The referee calling Avril to the middle of the ring to lift up her hand officially declaring her the winner as the crowd cheers her on. Avril with a big grin, posing for the cameras before suddenly darting towards the still downed Madison, and grabbing a handful of brown hair. “Time for your walk, LOSE…OUGHHHH!!” Avril is cut off mid-sentence, doubling over in sudden pain and releasing her grip on the bruntte’s hair as Madison takes a surprise swipe at her midsection, before springing back to her feet, gloves up and ready to go! “Don’t touch me b*tch!” - MADISON WANTS TO GO AGAIN!!! Avril grunting, a confused angry look on her sweaty face - how dare this rookie show so much spunk?!

Well, Whether Avril wants to go again or not, the referee is not waiting to find out as he jumps inbetween the two singers to prevent any further escalation. Avril clearly not happy about this, shouting profanities at the brunette for ‘cheap-shotting’ her as she’s pushed away by the referee.

“You lucky wimp! I kicked your cheating ass and I’ll do it again! Any time! Go cry to your mom BEER!”

Madison leaving the ring with a smile full of satisfaction despite losing here tonight, knowing full well she certainly made a big impression in one hell of a debut, and managed to get well under Lavigne’s skin.
Lavigne taking a few moments to calm down before exiting the ring herself and stopping to speak to reporters on her way backstage.

“I won, and that’s all that matters to me. I fucked her up. She has freakishly long arms and is 5’5, so of course I’m gonna get hit, duh! But she couldn’t take MY punishment when I got in her face….she’s f*cking weak. And I proved it. She’s also a cheater. So, whatever. Next time she won’t get this lucky!”

The Queen has spoken folks, and she is the winner here tonight, but if you ask us, managers across the FCBA should seriously consider signing the talented, feisty young debutant we saw here tonight – we have a feeling she’ll be going places!