Post by HBO's Boxing At The Asylum on May 31, 2019 21:53:18 GMT -6
BEFORE:
"Everybody thinks I lost it, or I can't do this," says a hard-eyed Ariana. "Well. All I need is a chance. And, I've got one tonight."
"She hit a rough patch, sure," says Jane. "But, don't think she can't fight. She's shown that she can. But, tonight? She's in over her head."
ROUND ONE:
O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Bang Bang', and here comes the singer of that tune, the lovely Ariana Grande!"
Cassie: "And, look at THIS! She has FIVE FCBA wins, Mac..."
McCarthy: "And about a bajillion LOSSES..."
O'Dell: "Grande getting a nice reception as she bounces down to the ring, climbs inside, and is helped off with the robe. And, she's looking plenty good in that strawberry colored bikini, if the crowd can be believed..."
McCarthy: "Philly. Low standards!"
O'Dell: "And, that's 'Pleasant Nightmare' by Alih Jey you hear behind us, and here comes 'The Marin County Marauder', Jane Levy!"
Tess: "And, we're talking tonight about only two of Front Street's fourteen fighters being safe. Levy is not one of those two."
O'Dell: "And, she's definitely looking plenty serious as she climbs into the ring and is helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve. She's wearing that peach number we've seen before..."
McCarthy: "Peaches? Strawberries? Is this a fight or a FRUIT SALAD?"
O'Dell: "Ladies about ready. Let's get some picks. Tess likes Jane. Mac?"
McCarthy: "Grande's a garbage fighter. But. So are all of Weirdo's flys except the Stewart kid. Ariana!"
O'Dell: "Cassie?"
Cassie: "I agree with Tess..."
O'Dell: "First split panel of the night. Let's see who's right. Grande looking to stick and move early, and that's no surprise, as Ariana has excellent speed and athleticism and she likes to make use of them. Levy's seen this play before, however, and she's making with the feet, looking to cut the ring."
Cassie: "And, this will come down to whether or not she can do that. If Grande can stay in open canvas..."
O'Dell: "She'll definitely be tough for Jane to beat. No doubt about that. Levy, however, finding ways to cut her off and close in the opening stanza. Redhead corralling the brunette, working some body before Ariana slips away. Grande doing a good job of keeping the exchanges short."
McCarthy: "And, that's what the kid needs to do. Get out of there and get moving."
O'Dell: "Final seconds of the first. Both fighters have gotten some of what they wanted, but not enough to take control. Instead, it's been a close, back-and-forth round. Levy cuts the ring, works body. Ariana ties up, and there's the bell. Not a lot in it, but Jane's round."
Tess: "And, Levy's up 10-9."
ROUND TWO:
O'Dell: "Pattern set now as we move into the second. It's Grande ranging around the ring, working the jab, stopping to pop here and there, but mostly staying on the move. Levy, for her part, stalking. Moving the feet, looking to cut the ring. When the redhead gets that done, she gets to work, scoring to head and body."
McCarthy: "And, the ref needs to watch those body shots. Weirdo's girls are NOTORIOUS for fouling!"
Tess: "Says the woman who's stablemates with Gena Lee Nolin."
McCarthy: "What are you IMPLYING, Walmart?"
Tess: "I'm not IMPLYING anything. I'm SAYING that Nolin's one of the biggest cheaters in the history of the FCBA."
McCarthy: "You're just saying that so that you can unfairly keep her out of the Hall of Fame like you are the Greatest Fighting Playmate of All Time! We'll SUE! Siri, call my attorney!"
Cassie: "HERE we go..."
O'Dell (sighing): "Meanwhile, back in the ring, we're coming down the stretch of another two-way round. Grande circling, jabbing, slipping away as Levy tries to fire back. Ten seconds left. Ariana going to dance those seconds away. There's the bell. Close again, but, this time, Grande."
Cassie: "And, we're even at 19."
ROUND THREE:
O'Dell: "Grande back on the move as we start the third. Levy trying to run her to ground, but having problems doing that at the moment. Ariana very elusive, very quick. And, it's not just the feet that are the problem for the redhead. Grande getting that jab out and back very quickly."
Cassie: "She definitely has fast hands. You can see it when she stops, a quick combination and then she's gone."
O'Dell: "And, it's definitely giving Jane problems this round, all that quickness. Ariana in rhythm, got everything going, scoring points, one step ahead of the redhead on just about everything right now. Levy resolute. Continues the pursuit, but she's not able to corral the brunette."
McCarthy: "This is why I say speed kills in the FCBA. Take Mac The Knife, for instance. Slow, plodding fighters like Campbell didn't stand a CHANCE against me..."
Tess: "Truck roll some of the footage of Neve's MANY wins over Mac..."
McCarthy: "I. WAS. ROBBED!"
O'Dell: "Final twenty seconds of the third round, and Grande's been in control the whole way. Ariana bouncin' and misbehavin' as we head toward the bell. Levy just unable to get a lot done in this round. And, there's the bell. This one's not close at all. It's Grande wide."
McCarthy: "And, speed kills. Grande 29-28 after three."
ROUND FOUR:
O'Dell: "Grande on the move again to start the fourth. Jane cutting the ring quickly, closing, banging body. Ariana trying to slip away, but Levy boxing her in, working her over upstairs and down. Grande tying up, but Jane punching free, landing a HARD right hand to the head before Ariana slips away."
Cassie: "And, Levy's got her bottled up again."
O'Dell: "Indeed, she does. Jane doing a lot of body work right now, looking to get into Ariana's legs. Grande tying up again, but Levy shrugs her off, bangs those ribs, then goes upstairs for another HARD shot that forces the brunette to cover up. Grande backed to the ropes now..."
McCarthy: "Ref needs to watch those LOW BLOWS..."
O'Dell: "Nothing being landed below the belt, but, Jane's tenderizing all the legal parts of the brunette's body. Grande ties up, hangs on, and the referee breaks the fighters. Grande on the move, jabbing, going to run the last few seconds off the clock, and there's the bell. Wide. Levy."
Tess: "And, we're even at 38."
ROUND FIVE:
O'Dell: "Levy making with the pressure again as we start the fifth. Ariana unable to find open canvas at the moment, and it's made a huge difference. Jane keeping the brunette cooped up, and, as a result, she's controlling the fight, working her rival over to the body..."
Tess: "Right hook, Jane!"
O'Dell: "And Grande is HURT! Levy a short right hook that left Ariana wobbly-butt! Levy getting off with both hands now and DOWN GOES ARIANA! Grande dropped to all fours after a nasty flurry from Jane. Levy to a neutral corner. Referee's count at three. Four. Five. Six. Grande to her feet at seven..."
McCarthy: "This ref had better not HOMETOWN her..."
O'Dell: "Ref gives her the mandatory and waives on Levy! Jane opening up on Ariana with both hands, driving her back into the ropes. Grande in DEEP trouble. She's hanging on in a high guard as Levy works the body, then goes back upstairs and LANDS A BOOMING LEFT HOOK! Grande wobbles and it's OVER! The referee leaps in and bundles Ariana to safety and it's OVER! And your winner by TKO5 is 'The Marin County Marauder', Jane Levy!"
Cassie: "Front Street likes finishers, and, as we've seen before, Jane is a finisher."
AFTER:
O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"
Tess: "I have our winner, Jane Levy, and, Jane, good fight for awhile, but, when you got her in trouble, you made no mistake..."
Jane (nodding): "This girl, she can box. She can score points. She's athletic. She's quick. You play that game with her, you might not like the result on the cards. So. We weren't getting to the cards."
Tess: "Lots of talk about what's going to happen with the flyweight division at Front Street..."
Jane: "Not worrying about that. I go into the ring and take care of what I can take care of. The rest is up to someone else."
"Everybody thinks I lost it, or I can't do this," says a hard-eyed Ariana. "Well. All I need is a chance. And, I've got one tonight."
"She hit a rough patch, sure," says Jane. "But, don't think she can't fight. She's shown that she can. But, tonight? She's in over her head."
ROUND ONE:
O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Bang Bang', and here comes the singer of that tune, the lovely Ariana Grande!"
Cassie: "And, look at THIS! She has FIVE FCBA wins, Mac..."
McCarthy: "And about a bajillion LOSSES..."
O'Dell: "Grande getting a nice reception as she bounces down to the ring, climbs inside, and is helped off with the robe. And, she's looking plenty good in that strawberry colored bikini, if the crowd can be believed..."
McCarthy: "Philly. Low standards!"
O'Dell: "And, that's 'Pleasant Nightmare' by Alih Jey you hear behind us, and here comes 'The Marin County Marauder', Jane Levy!"
Tess: "And, we're talking tonight about only two of Front Street's fourteen fighters being safe. Levy is not one of those two."
O'Dell: "And, she's definitely looking plenty serious as she climbs into the ring and is helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve. She's wearing that peach number we've seen before..."
McCarthy: "Peaches? Strawberries? Is this a fight or a FRUIT SALAD?"
O'Dell: "Ladies about ready. Let's get some picks. Tess likes Jane. Mac?"
McCarthy: "Grande's a garbage fighter. But. So are all of Weirdo's flys except the Stewart kid. Ariana!"
O'Dell: "Cassie?"
Cassie: "I agree with Tess..."
O'Dell: "First split panel of the night. Let's see who's right. Grande looking to stick and move early, and that's no surprise, as Ariana has excellent speed and athleticism and she likes to make use of them. Levy's seen this play before, however, and she's making with the feet, looking to cut the ring."
Cassie: "And, this will come down to whether or not she can do that. If Grande can stay in open canvas..."
O'Dell: "She'll definitely be tough for Jane to beat. No doubt about that. Levy, however, finding ways to cut her off and close in the opening stanza. Redhead corralling the brunette, working some body before Ariana slips away. Grande doing a good job of keeping the exchanges short."
McCarthy: "And, that's what the kid needs to do. Get out of there and get moving."
O'Dell: "Final seconds of the first. Both fighters have gotten some of what they wanted, but not enough to take control. Instead, it's been a close, back-and-forth round. Levy cuts the ring, works body. Ariana ties up, and there's the bell. Not a lot in it, but Jane's round."
Tess: "And, Levy's up 10-9."
ROUND TWO:
O'Dell: "Pattern set now as we move into the second. It's Grande ranging around the ring, working the jab, stopping to pop here and there, but mostly staying on the move. Levy, for her part, stalking. Moving the feet, looking to cut the ring. When the redhead gets that done, she gets to work, scoring to head and body."
McCarthy: "And, the ref needs to watch those body shots. Weirdo's girls are NOTORIOUS for fouling!"
Tess: "Says the woman who's stablemates with Gena Lee Nolin."
McCarthy: "What are you IMPLYING, Walmart?"
Tess: "I'm not IMPLYING anything. I'm SAYING that Nolin's one of the biggest cheaters in the history of the FCBA."
McCarthy: "You're just saying that so that you can unfairly keep her out of the Hall of Fame like you are the Greatest Fighting Playmate of All Time! We'll SUE! Siri, call my attorney!"
Cassie: "HERE we go..."
O'Dell (sighing): "Meanwhile, back in the ring, we're coming down the stretch of another two-way round. Grande circling, jabbing, slipping away as Levy tries to fire back. Ten seconds left. Ariana going to dance those seconds away. There's the bell. Close again, but, this time, Grande."
Cassie: "And, we're even at 19."
ROUND THREE:
O'Dell: "Grande back on the move as we start the third. Levy trying to run her to ground, but having problems doing that at the moment. Ariana very elusive, very quick. And, it's not just the feet that are the problem for the redhead. Grande getting that jab out and back very quickly."
Cassie: "She definitely has fast hands. You can see it when she stops, a quick combination and then she's gone."
O'Dell: "And, it's definitely giving Jane problems this round, all that quickness. Ariana in rhythm, got everything going, scoring points, one step ahead of the redhead on just about everything right now. Levy resolute. Continues the pursuit, but she's not able to corral the brunette."
McCarthy: "This is why I say speed kills in the FCBA. Take Mac The Knife, for instance. Slow, plodding fighters like Campbell didn't stand a CHANCE against me..."
Tess: "Truck roll some of the footage of Neve's MANY wins over Mac..."
McCarthy: "I. WAS. ROBBED!"
O'Dell: "Final twenty seconds of the third round, and Grande's been in control the whole way. Ariana bouncin' and misbehavin' as we head toward the bell. Levy just unable to get a lot done in this round. And, there's the bell. This one's not close at all. It's Grande wide."
McCarthy: "And, speed kills. Grande 29-28 after three."
ROUND FOUR:
O'Dell: "Grande on the move again to start the fourth. Jane cutting the ring quickly, closing, banging body. Ariana trying to slip away, but Levy boxing her in, working her over upstairs and down. Grande tying up, but Jane punching free, landing a HARD right hand to the head before Ariana slips away."
Cassie: "And, Levy's got her bottled up again."
O'Dell: "Indeed, she does. Jane doing a lot of body work right now, looking to get into Ariana's legs. Grande tying up again, but Levy shrugs her off, bangs those ribs, then goes upstairs for another HARD shot that forces the brunette to cover up. Grande backed to the ropes now..."
McCarthy: "Ref needs to watch those LOW BLOWS..."
O'Dell: "Nothing being landed below the belt, but, Jane's tenderizing all the legal parts of the brunette's body. Grande ties up, hangs on, and the referee breaks the fighters. Grande on the move, jabbing, going to run the last few seconds off the clock, and there's the bell. Wide. Levy."
Tess: "And, we're even at 38."
ROUND FIVE:
O'Dell: "Levy making with the pressure again as we start the fifth. Ariana unable to find open canvas at the moment, and it's made a huge difference. Jane keeping the brunette cooped up, and, as a result, she's controlling the fight, working her rival over to the body..."
Tess: "Right hook, Jane!"
O'Dell: "And Grande is HURT! Levy a short right hook that left Ariana wobbly-butt! Levy getting off with both hands now and DOWN GOES ARIANA! Grande dropped to all fours after a nasty flurry from Jane. Levy to a neutral corner. Referee's count at three. Four. Five. Six. Grande to her feet at seven..."
McCarthy: "This ref had better not HOMETOWN her..."
O'Dell: "Ref gives her the mandatory and waives on Levy! Jane opening up on Ariana with both hands, driving her back into the ropes. Grande in DEEP trouble. She's hanging on in a high guard as Levy works the body, then goes back upstairs and LANDS A BOOMING LEFT HOOK! Grande wobbles and it's OVER! The referee leaps in and bundles Ariana to safety and it's OVER! And your winner by TKO5 is 'The Marin County Marauder', Jane Levy!"
Cassie: "Front Street likes finishers, and, as we've seen before, Jane is a finisher."
AFTER:
O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"
Tess: "I have our winner, Jane Levy, and, Jane, good fight for awhile, but, when you got her in trouble, you made no mistake..."
Jane (nodding): "This girl, she can box. She can score points. She's athletic. She's quick. You play that game with her, you might not like the result on the cards. So. We weren't getting to the cards."
Tess: "Lots of talk about what's going to happen with the flyweight division at Front Street..."
Jane: "Not worrying about that. I go into the ring and take care of what I can take care of. The rest is up to someone else."