Post by HBO's Boxing At The Asylum on May 31, 2019 21:48:53 GMT -6
BEFORE:
"She's physical," says Rihanna with a shrug. "I'M physical. Let's get it on!"
"She wants to get it on?" ask Charlotte with a smile. "No pun intended, but, music to my ears."
ROUND ONE:
O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Don't Stop The Music', and that can only mean that the singer of that song, the lovely Rihanna of Beever's Babes, is on her way to ringside!"
Cassie: "Rihanna was here back in 2016 for a fight against Kesha. And, speaking of physical, I seem to recall that WAS."
O'Dell: "Singer wasting no time getting into the ring. She's helped off with the robe by her corner crew, and she's looking PLENTY good in that blue-gray bikini she's sporting...."
All I want to eat is cherry licorice
I don't care if it sounds ridiculous
Even the birds and the bees
Eat how they damn well please
McCarthy: "That song is STILL stupid..."
O'Dell: "The song in question would be 'Cherry Licorice' by The Felice Brothers, and that can only mean that 'Agent 00DDD', Charlotte McKinney is on her way to the ring..."
McCarthy: "And, that nickname is STUPIDER than the song!"
Tess: "And, like Utgaard, McKinney is in a Front Street division that might not exist in a few months, so, let's just say the pressure is on in this one."
O'Dell: "Charlotte into the ring and helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve, and the crowd popping for the figure the lovely Ms. McKinney is cutting in that admiral blue bikini..."
McCarthy: "Don't MAKE me talk about Philly's low standards again..."
O'Dell: "Aaaannnddd, the ladies are about ready to go. Time for some picks. Tess likes McKinney. Mac?"
McCarthy: "Rihanna has FCBA wins. This might be the first time ever Weirdo booked a card like that, and it's going to cost him. Rihanna!"
O'Dell: "Cassie?"
Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"
O'Dell: "And, there's the bell. McKinney right after Rihanna early and RiRi not going to back down and HERE WE GO! Ladies letting the hands go in the middle of the ring and RIHANNA ROCKS MCKINNEY! Charlotte staggered by a HUGE right hand from the singer!"
McCarthy: "Weirdo's Dancing Hooker was playing a dangerous game, and she just got CAUGHT..."
O'Dell: "Rihanna all in now, letting the hands go, battering the blonde back into the ropes, then THUMPING her to the body. McKinney trying to clinch, slow the brunette down, can't do it. RiRi pounds free and ROCKS McKinney again with a right hand! Charlotte nearly went down after that shot..."
Tess: "McKinney is in DEEP trouble right now..."
O'Dell: "No doubt about it. Twenty seconds to go in the round. Ref looking in closely. Charlotte taking an absolute POUNDING from the singer. Rihanna winging away, trying to get the stoppage. McKinney hanging on as the clock runs down, and there's the bell! Rihanna and wide in the first."
Cassie: "And, RiRi is up 10-9, but that round may be a lot more significant than giving Rihanna an edge on the cards."
ROUND TWO:
O'Dell: "Second begins with Rihanna picking up right where she left off. McKinney still wobbly, and the brunette is lining her up for heavy leather. Charlotte taking some serious punishment and GETTING DROPPED BY A RIGHT HAND! Rihanna sends McKinney to her back with a BOOMING right!"
McCarthy: "Back up the moving van, because THIS Dancing Hooker is on her way OUT!"
O'Dell: "Rihanna to a neutral corner. Count at three. Four. Five. McKinney to hands and knees at six. Seven. Eight. Charlotte pushes to her feet at nine. Ref looking closely as he gives her the mandatory. And, he waives on Rihanna! Brunette letting the hands go again, battering Charlotte back into the ropes..."
Cassie: "Ref not going to watch much more of this..."
O'Dell: "Most certainly is not. We're down to the final minute of the second, and Rihanna's again looking to finish this fight. Charlotte leaning back in the ropes, rolling with punches, blocking others, playing for time. Half a minute to go. GOOD right from Rihanna, but Charlotte taking the shell and staying afloat. Ten seconds. One more flurry from the brunette and there's the bell. Huge round, Rihanna. 10-8."
Tess: "And, she's up 20-17 after two."
ROUND THREE:
O'Dell: "Getting ready to start the third and McKinney just HEARD it from Campbell in the corner. Neve threatening to stop this thing herself. Rihanna off the stool and charges forward. Charlotte there to meet her and we're HOT TOSSING in the middle of the ring and MCKINNEY STAGGERS RIHANNA!"
Cassie: "What a SHOT..."
O'Dell: "A right hook that landed on the button. Charlotte without the legs all the way under her, or that might have been it! As it is, Rihanna GOBSMACKED as Charlotte now goes all in, battering the brunette around the ring with both hands. McKinney just WINGING away right now..."
McCarthy: "Trying to save her job can make a girl desperate..."
O'Dell: "Rihanna pinned to the ropes and taking. Charlotte giving back what she got in the first two stanzas. Rihanna being buffeted along the ropes by a blizzard of heavy leather. Ref looking in, but RiRi doing enough to keep him at bay. Five seconds left. GOOD right from Charlotte, but there's the bell. McKinney. Shutout."
Tess: "But, Rihanna still up 29-27."
ROUND FOUR:
O'Dell: "Charlotte all about the finish as we start the fourth. She's banging out that hard left jab, backing up Rihanna with rights. Blonde VERY very aggressive now. Not exactly damning any and ALL torpedoes, but she's not paying attention to many of them at the moment."
Tess: "We're right below the Front Street corner, and we could hear Neve telling Charlotte to get this over with in this round."
O'Dell: "And, that's definitely the blonde's plan. GOOD right hand, Charlotte! Rihanna covers up and McKinney NAILS HER WITH A STRAIGHT RIGHT! and DOWN GOES RIHANNA! What a SHOT that was, and Rihanna crashes to her back in the middle of the ring!"
McCarthy: "The only reason that girl is still STANDING now is because Rihanna's no Big Bad Gena Lee. SHE would have finished!"
O'Dell: "McKinney to a neutral corner. Count at three. Four. Five. Rihanna rolls to her belly at six. She's pushing up to hands and knees at seven. RiRi to her feet but reeling around and falling back down! Nine. Ten. And it's OVER! And your winner by KO4 is 'Agent 00DDD', Charlotte McKinney!"
Cassie: "Well. If you like welterweight slugfests..."
AFTER:
O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"
Tess: "I have our winner, Charlotte McKinney, and, Charlotte, lots of heavy leather exchanged in there tonight..."
Charlotte (nodding): "She caught me some good ones, no doubt about that. Had me in serious trouble. But. I caught HER some good ones, too. And, that made all the difference."
Tess: "Talked to Antje a while ago about the future of the welters at Front Street..."
Charlotte: "Look, I've lost management before, and it didn't take me long to land somewhere else. Wouldn't take long this time, either."
"She's physical," says Rihanna with a shrug. "I'M physical. Let's get it on!"
"She wants to get it on?" ask Charlotte with a smile. "No pun intended, but, music to my ears."
ROUND ONE:
O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Don't Stop The Music', and that can only mean that the singer of that song, the lovely Rihanna of Beever's Babes, is on her way to ringside!"
Cassie: "Rihanna was here back in 2016 for a fight against Kesha. And, speaking of physical, I seem to recall that WAS."
O'Dell: "Singer wasting no time getting into the ring. She's helped off with the robe by her corner crew, and she's looking PLENTY good in that blue-gray bikini she's sporting...."
All I want to eat is cherry licorice
I don't care if it sounds ridiculous
Even the birds and the bees
Eat how they damn well please
McCarthy: "That song is STILL stupid..."
O'Dell: "The song in question would be 'Cherry Licorice' by The Felice Brothers, and that can only mean that 'Agent 00DDD', Charlotte McKinney is on her way to the ring..."
McCarthy: "And, that nickname is STUPIDER than the song!"
Tess: "And, like Utgaard, McKinney is in a Front Street division that might not exist in a few months, so, let's just say the pressure is on in this one."
O'Dell: "Charlotte into the ring and helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve, and the crowd popping for the figure the lovely Ms. McKinney is cutting in that admiral blue bikini..."
McCarthy: "Don't MAKE me talk about Philly's low standards again..."
O'Dell: "Aaaannnddd, the ladies are about ready to go. Time for some picks. Tess likes McKinney. Mac?"
McCarthy: "Rihanna has FCBA wins. This might be the first time ever Weirdo booked a card like that, and it's going to cost him. Rihanna!"
O'Dell: "Cassie?"
Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"
O'Dell: "And, there's the bell. McKinney right after Rihanna early and RiRi not going to back down and HERE WE GO! Ladies letting the hands go in the middle of the ring and RIHANNA ROCKS MCKINNEY! Charlotte staggered by a HUGE right hand from the singer!"
McCarthy: "Weirdo's Dancing Hooker was playing a dangerous game, and she just got CAUGHT..."
O'Dell: "Rihanna all in now, letting the hands go, battering the blonde back into the ropes, then THUMPING her to the body. McKinney trying to clinch, slow the brunette down, can't do it. RiRi pounds free and ROCKS McKinney again with a right hand! Charlotte nearly went down after that shot..."
Tess: "McKinney is in DEEP trouble right now..."
O'Dell: "No doubt about it. Twenty seconds to go in the round. Ref looking in closely. Charlotte taking an absolute POUNDING from the singer. Rihanna winging away, trying to get the stoppage. McKinney hanging on as the clock runs down, and there's the bell! Rihanna and wide in the first."
Cassie: "And, RiRi is up 10-9, but that round may be a lot more significant than giving Rihanna an edge on the cards."
ROUND TWO:
O'Dell: "Second begins with Rihanna picking up right where she left off. McKinney still wobbly, and the brunette is lining her up for heavy leather. Charlotte taking some serious punishment and GETTING DROPPED BY A RIGHT HAND! Rihanna sends McKinney to her back with a BOOMING right!"
McCarthy: "Back up the moving van, because THIS Dancing Hooker is on her way OUT!"
O'Dell: "Rihanna to a neutral corner. Count at three. Four. Five. McKinney to hands and knees at six. Seven. Eight. Charlotte pushes to her feet at nine. Ref looking closely as he gives her the mandatory. And, he waives on Rihanna! Brunette letting the hands go again, battering Charlotte back into the ropes..."
Cassie: "Ref not going to watch much more of this..."
O'Dell: "Most certainly is not. We're down to the final minute of the second, and Rihanna's again looking to finish this fight. Charlotte leaning back in the ropes, rolling with punches, blocking others, playing for time. Half a minute to go. GOOD right from Rihanna, but Charlotte taking the shell and staying afloat. Ten seconds. One more flurry from the brunette and there's the bell. Huge round, Rihanna. 10-8."
Tess: "And, she's up 20-17 after two."
ROUND THREE:
O'Dell: "Getting ready to start the third and McKinney just HEARD it from Campbell in the corner. Neve threatening to stop this thing herself. Rihanna off the stool and charges forward. Charlotte there to meet her and we're HOT TOSSING in the middle of the ring and MCKINNEY STAGGERS RIHANNA!"
Cassie: "What a SHOT..."
O'Dell: "A right hook that landed on the button. Charlotte without the legs all the way under her, or that might have been it! As it is, Rihanna GOBSMACKED as Charlotte now goes all in, battering the brunette around the ring with both hands. McKinney just WINGING away right now..."
McCarthy: "Trying to save her job can make a girl desperate..."
O'Dell: "Rihanna pinned to the ropes and taking. Charlotte giving back what she got in the first two stanzas. Rihanna being buffeted along the ropes by a blizzard of heavy leather. Ref looking in, but RiRi doing enough to keep him at bay. Five seconds left. GOOD right from Charlotte, but there's the bell. McKinney. Shutout."
Tess: "But, Rihanna still up 29-27."
ROUND FOUR:
O'Dell: "Charlotte all about the finish as we start the fourth. She's banging out that hard left jab, backing up Rihanna with rights. Blonde VERY very aggressive now. Not exactly damning any and ALL torpedoes, but she's not paying attention to many of them at the moment."
Tess: "We're right below the Front Street corner, and we could hear Neve telling Charlotte to get this over with in this round."
O'Dell: "And, that's definitely the blonde's plan. GOOD right hand, Charlotte! Rihanna covers up and McKinney NAILS HER WITH A STRAIGHT RIGHT! and DOWN GOES RIHANNA! What a SHOT that was, and Rihanna crashes to her back in the middle of the ring!"
McCarthy: "The only reason that girl is still STANDING now is because Rihanna's no Big Bad Gena Lee. SHE would have finished!"
O'Dell: "McKinney to a neutral corner. Count at three. Four. Five. Rihanna rolls to her belly at six. She's pushing up to hands and knees at seven. RiRi to her feet but reeling around and falling back down! Nine. Ten. And it's OVER! And your winner by KO4 is 'Agent 00DDD', Charlotte McKinney!"
Cassie: "Well. If you like welterweight slugfests..."
AFTER:
O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"
Tess: "I have our winner, Charlotte McKinney, and, Charlotte, lots of heavy leather exchanged in there tonight..."
Charlotte (nodding): "She caught me some good ones, no doubt about that. Had me in serious trouble. But. I caught HER some good ones, too. And, that made all the difference."
Tess: "Talked to Antje a while ago about the future of the welters at Front Street..."
Charlotte: "Look, I've lost management before, and it didn't take me long to land somewhere else. Wouldn't take long this time, either."