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Post by Tractorpull on May 1, 2019 8:28:29 GMT -6
TESS VALMORE
The fans showed up in mass packing the Asylum hoping to see sixty rounds of boxing. Instead they got twenty-one as half the bouts lasted less than three rounds and all lasted less than six
You might say that Katy Perry was the least impressive taking 5 1/2 rounds to dispose of Pare who hadn’t won a fight since 2013
Perdita Weeks and Beth Behrs made their FCBA Debuts. Weeks lasted less than five against King and Behrs didn’t make it out of the fourth after getting flattened by Bennet. The fights probably were the first and last for both Weeks and Behr. If we see them in the ring again, it will be at the Asylum
The last three fights of the night last less six rounds total as Dennings won in less than two, Swan in less than three and then Reinhart capped the night by working about a minute before demolishing Mays
The post fight press conference was fortunately short because I was getting hungry. I always wait to hear those word from the Wiz “Dinner time, Tess, Smackey! Limo!”
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Post by jennymccarthy on May 1, 2019 16:13:52 GMT -6
For any newcomers who were not already aware, Tess Walmart gives favorable press to the Grand Weirdo and his stable of Skid Row Dancing Hookers because he bribes her with free food and alcohol, which is a clear violation of the Fifth Amendment and is freeloading of the press!
(And I hear she eats like a man on death row and drinks like a fish - so there's that too!)
For honest cutting commentary, listen to me - Mac the Knife! (Did you see what I did there? "Cutting" and "knife"? Its a metaform!) And be sure to tune in for the soon to be announced return of my Pulister Prize winning column "Jenny Mac: Tawkin' Smack!"
![](https://fm.cnbc.com/applications/cnbc.com/resources/img/editorial/2018/05/10/105199262-GettyImages-953539216.530x298.jpg?v=1525966056)
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Post by Tractorpull on May 2, 2019 8:21:02 GMT -6
TESS VALMORE
I can’t wait to see your cutting edge analysis
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