Cheryl Cole vs Cassie Scerbo

Cheryl Cole vs Cassie Scerbo
(Lioness Club vs Bazz Fight Club)
(27-5, 27 KO vs 29-20-1, 24 KO)
Results: Lookout!; Story: Vassago

BEFORE: "There was a time when Cassandra Lynn was elite but boy, that's all over now!", Cheryl Cole is quick to point out just why she answered the Bazz fighter's call for the season-ending PPV: "Look, I still want to drag that slutty Punk Princess all over ANY god damn ring in the world but the BYTCH keeps ducking me! So what do I see? Cassie fuckin' Scerbo getting invited to the Doll Mee-Hee Ball where she gets her ass kicked by that Punk Cow! Huh! That's borderline offensive! (OOC: It actually happened on the November PPV but let's don't correct the Geordie spitfire here) Thankfully Bazz accepts anything that comes their way from the Asylum HBO contract but this is personal! It's not against Cassie because she is a WIMP but I'm gonna make that trip to Canada, find that sleazy Punk and rip all her bleached her out if she refuses to fight me! Grrr... Cassandra? She's toast already but she doesn't know it yet! These stupid blonde bimbos never do!"

Okay, so there isn't much room for any Scerbo trash-talking left but even Tess Valmore says nobody has put her in her place outside of the usual HBO broadcasts the way Avril Lavigne did last month. "And now she is being used as a prop to stir the mighty clash for the ages between Cole & Lavigne? Just how irrelevant is Cassandra Lynn these days?"

"SHUT UP, WALMART!!!!"

Cheryl Cole wears a leopard print bikini top, black panties and red gloves. Long dark brown hair tied in a sleek ponytail. Cassie Scerbo wears a red bikini set and silver gloves. Long dyed dark brown hair tied in a half-up ponytail. The fight is scheduled for ten rounds in the flyweight division.

Round 1:
Cassie realizes her stock has dropped dramatically after the Lavigne disaster and blows out of the gate to connect with Cheryl's midsection which she pummels like there's no tomorrow. Talk about trying to make a statement - even with an odd head-butt that reels the singer backwards - but Cassie takes no prisoners here in the opening minute and has the older brunette aching before a brutal uppercut sends her flying back to the ropes. Cole is getting a dose of her own medicine here and fails to match the Scerbo intensity which forces her to take cover around the ring in a hectic retreat. Avril Lavigne must be loving this sight wherever she's watching because it's all Cassandra down the stretch as well as she pounces on the Geordie retreat and cashes in with more overhand that snap Cheryl's ponytail back & forth until she slumps at the turnbuckle right before the bell.

Round 2:
The Geordie stunner is visibly upset over that opening round and rallies around Scerbo's midriff to make up for the lost ground. Cassie delivers another head-butting attempt but only bounces her forehead off the singer's shoulder and eats a gut-ripping series that drops her on the heels instead. She tries to swing back at the older woman but eats a scything cross on the nose and wobbles into more brutal head shots as Chezza drives her onto the ropes where she outmuscles her with a jabbing follow up and blasts a bruising series on the lips. Ugh! Cassie begins to wince in pain which only fuels the Brit's work rate and more punches come crashing down on the American's face which soon develops a visible swelling around the lips. Cole pummels the Bazz brunette until she bends her sideways and DROPS ONTO HER KNEES when she finds a harpoon on the liver area literally five seconds before the bell. Ugh! "Take that, bytch!", Chezza struts back to her corner as the bell eventually saves Cassandra from a looming disaster but will she escape the Geordie wrath in the next round?

Round 3:
Cole feels like she has Scerbo right where she wants her already alas the HBO color commentator responds surprisingly well with a swarming drill that picks the singer off downstairs. Guess that's a tougher nut to crack after all although Avri Lavigne sure didn't make her look like that last month! Cheryl takes the dominance for granted and receives an ugly wake up call when the American plain destroys her tummy with a ripping combo before adding a quick hook on the chin. So, who prefers the phone booth struggle better? Cassie flies in with an overhand cross to stun Cheryl on the nose and moves on from there to jab herself into a left cross that half-spins the singer to the side. Grr... Chezza barks in anger but gets beaten for another shot and now it's time for her lips to taste some swollen reality. Scerbo turns it from the hip and blasts the singer up the gut which wobbles Cole into a banging hook on the temple THAT SENDS HER DOWN ON HER SIDE!!! How about THAT? Scerbo is back and makes some obscene gestures aimed at Eva Mendes before the order is somewhat restored to deliver the count. Cole is up at seven and the clock actually runs down before Cassandra can swing at her again but this is one good flyweight bash here!

Round 4:
Some mutual respect between the two brunettes as one knockdown is cancelled by the other alas Cheryl blinks first to hassle the actress around for a while before the HBO gal settles for a counter-punching route that picks the singer off over the top. The slugging in the center of the ring results in more swollen lips until Cole bangs a left hook on the temple to wobble Scerbo back into mid-range. And the Geordie chase continues from there as Cassandra thinks better off it but she can't escape the trained dancer at all and gets reeled onto the ropes where Chezza rips through her guts until the clinch saves the American's effort to live for another round.

Round 5:
More Cole hassling in the fifth but Scerbo's counter-punching response eventually becomes more productive and she drills the Brit's tummy to force another ugly phone booth struggle on the verge of additional head-butts. Cole has triggered a dirty trick or two when the fight didn't follow the script but what can she do when Scerbo literally wrestles her to the ropes and bangs a left hook below the navel? That's borderline waist line there but the ref allows it and a jug-to-jug contact eventually backs the singer into the turnbuckle where Cassandra beats her for a brutal hook that opens a fresh cut under the left eye. Ugh! The reigning BBU champion bends to the side with a whimper and eats a nasty liver shot that almost folds her onto her knees when the clock expires! Advantage Cassie at half-distance according to Tess Valmore!

Round 6:
Cassie's artistic impressive is already several lenghts above the Lavigne clanger but she walks into a Geordie buzzsaw early in the sixth regardless as the top ranked singer just refuses to go away here! Chezza finds a new wind in her sails and brawls the HBO contractor straight up the gut which softens Cassandra's stance and wobbles her on her heels following a quick harpoon on the liver area. Now the action switches downstairs for good but watch out for these groin shots! Nobody cares? Whatever! Cheryl almost lands a knee on the crotch in a hectic phone booth dispute and while Scerbo wants to chop her down with a clear liver killer, a whooping left hook lifts the dyed brunette off her feet and leaves her flying back to the ropes. Ugh! Even Tess Valmore felt that chin shot and Cassie rests against the ropes with Chezza breathing down her neck to the tune of lip-busting hooks that trigger a blood spillage for the sake of Christmas PPV action! Oi, Cassie! The Bazz fighter is reduced to a rag doll value in a hurry when Cole bangs her from both flanks but that's another disaster-saving bell to help Cassie's cause. Ugh! If only someone actually wiped the blood off the canvas now?

Round 7:
Cassie might have a problem or two during the next Asylum broadcast as her lips could fill in as botox advert but that's what you get when you let an angry Geordie lass back at you! Cheryl splits the younger brunette's mitts at ease and roots her to the spot while Scerbo's resistance wilts hand over fist now that she realizes how badly damaged her lips actually are. Ugh! More blood comes out and Cole's mitts are well marked with it but she keeps pounding away and snaps the American's head back repeatedly until Cassie simply can't take it anymore and screams out her loudest of the night! Ugh! She drops into that spooked mode and bolts towards the ropes where she turns her back at the charging singer who whacks her in the kidneys for a good measure... Cassie slides onto her knees but the ref begins the count anyway and allthough the proud New Yorker gets up at eight she tells the man in charge "I'm HURT!!!!" which prompts a quick stoppage on the spot! TKO7 Cheryl Cole!!!

AFTER: Forget the kidney shot that only happened because Cassie was too scared to take one on the chin but her lips look even worse upon closer inspection and HBO might want to reach for some insurance money to cover for the next Asylum PPV broadcast. Cheryl offers her services as fill-in color analyst but God Save the Queen if anyone could actually understand her accent! And she's been that road before on the US X Factor!

When Cassandra is mercifully escorted back to the locker room, it's time for Chezza Show Part II... or III as she calls out Avril Lavigne yet again: "Enough with Nina D., Minka Kelly or Selena Gomez sideshow on these Doll Balls! I'm coming after you, bytch and you've got nowhere to hide! Stupid Hayden P. went up to bantam, she was so scared to fight me but YOU? The loudest big mouth this side of the Atlantic? How dare you? Either stand up or fuckin' RETIRE! I'm in no mood to listen to your rumblings any longer! Grr...!"

Official result: Cheryl Cole def. Cassandra Lynn Scerbo TKO7.