Post by Boxing World Online on Dec 6, 2018 6:13:04 GMT -6
Our reporter and his blonde companion sit in the Man In The Hat's office at Front Street with their backs to the desk watching the big screen on the back wall. "The FCBA Today With Big K" is just coming back from its final commercial break.
Kesha: "And, we're back with our guests Alison Brie and Emily Osment, and, ladies, it's time to get to it, let's talk about this month's Asylum card!"
Emily: "Well, Kesha, we're going to start at flyweight with the FCBA debut of the lovely Melissa Roxburgh, who'll be in Philadelphia to face 'The Five-Tool Player', Kristen Stewart!"
Alison: "From there, it's up to bantamweight for another FCBA debut, the beautiful Nichole Bloom, who'll step into the ring against Kat 'The Rack' Dennings!"
Emily: "We'll stay at bantam in the next bout with the Asylum return of Arielle Kebbel, this time to face 'The Ventura County Volcano', Hunter King!"
Alison: "It's welterweight next and another FCBA debut, that of Jennifer Hudson, who'll be battling 'Agent 00DDD', Charlotte McKinney!"
Emily: "And, we'll be wrapping the card with a pair of Tiffany Division contests, the first of which will see the Asylum debut of Jaimie Alexander against 'The Face', Taylor Hill!"
Alison: "And, our final bout of the night will see the Asylum return of Bazz's Jill Wagner against 'The Gravesend Gladiator' Gemma Arterton!"
Kesha: "That sounds like a heck of a card!"
Emily: "It will be, and tickets won't last long!"
Alison: "They'll be on sale on the Front Street website as soon as we leave the air. So, get yours now and join us in Philly or join Jenny O'Dell, Jenny McCarthy, Cassie Scerbo and Tess Valmore on HBO for 'New Year's Boppin' Eve 5: It's NBC Again!'"
With that the closing credits and music begin to run and the ladies talk and joke behind them with their mics potted down. The reporters turn to face the desk, where the Man In The Hat sits smiling.
Reporter: "I figured out NBC as soon as Bloom was announced..."
Man In The Hat (smiling): "You're getting better at this, Smackeroo..."
Tess: "Hill's drawing the toughest opponent..."
Man In The Hat: "Well, Wagner's nothing to sneeze at, either. She and Gemma are 1-1 career, so this is a rubber match of sorts. But. As for Jaimie, no, she's no walk in the park. But. Taylor's a girl we have high hopes for. We want to get her into the lightweight title picture this year. This is a way to do that."
Reporter: "On another subject, Tess' announcement on the Hall of Fame has people talking..."
Tess: "SERIOUSLY?
"
Man In The Hat (laughing): "As you know, Tess, I've always supported you on the Hall of Fame, even if I think the 100 fight minimum is outdated and I support you on this one. It's been said all along that quality was an issue. I remember conversations where that was discussed and it was determined that quality could be determined by titles won. But, however you do it, it's obviously important. I think it's clear you take the Hall of Fame responsibility seriously, as you should. The Hall should only be for the best, and we have to make sure it stays that way."
Tess: "Thanks, Wiz."
Reporter: "But...won't this affect Front Street?"
Man In The Hat: "Not a WHIT. As I've said repeatedly, we aren't putting anyone else in the Hall of Fame. We aren't fighting girls ten or twelve times a year. That's not the way it works here. And, that's not changing. So. No. It doesn't affect us at all. But, you know what WILL affect you...or, at least, your taste buds? Chef's surf and turf..."
Tess: "Let's GO!"
Kesha: "And, we're back with our guests Alison Brie and Emily Osment, and, ladies, it's time to get to it, let's talk about this month's Asylum card!"
Emily: "Well, Kesha, we're going to start at flyweight with the FCBA debut of the lovely Melissa Roxburgh, who'll be in Philadelphia to face 'The Five-Tool Player', Kristen Stewart!"
Alison: "From there, it's up to bantamweight for another FCBA debut, the beautiful Nichole Bloom, who'll step into the ring against Kat 'The Rack' Dennings!"
Emily: "We'll stay at bantam in the next bout with the Asylum return of Arielle Kebbel, this time to face 'The Ventura County Volcano', Hunter King!"
Alison: "It's welterweight next and another FCBA debut, that of Jennifer Hudson, who'll be battling 'Agent 00DDD', Charlotte McKinney!"
Emily: "And, we'll be wrapping the card with a pair of Tiffany Division contests, the first of which will see the Asylum debut of Jaimie Alexander against 'The Face', Taylor Hill!"
Alison: "And, our final bout of the night will see the Asylum return of Bazz's Jill Wagner against 'The Gravesend Gladiator' Gemma Arterton!"
Kesha: "That sounds like a heck of a card!"
Emily: "It will be, and tickets won't last long!"
Alison: "They'll be on sale on the Front Street website as soon as we leave the air. So, get yours now and join us in Philly or join Jenny O'Dell, Jenny McCarthy, Cassie Scerbo and Tess Valmore on HBO for 'New Year's Boppin' Eve 5: It's NBC Again!'"
With that the closing credits and music begin to run and the ladies talk and joke behind them with their mics potted down. The reporters turn to face the desk, where the Man In The Hat sits smiling.
Reporter: "I figured out NBC as soon as Bloom was announced..."
Man In The Hat (smiling): "You're getting better at this, Smackeroo..."
Tess: "Hill's drawing the toughest opponent..."
Man In The Hat: "Well, Wagner's nothing to sneeze at, either. She and Gemma are 1-1 career, so this is a rubber match of sorts. But. As for Jaimie, no, she's no walk in the park. But. Taylor's a girl we have high hopes for. We want to get her into the lightweight title picture this year. This is a way to do that."
Reporter: "On another subject, Tess' announcement on the Hall of Fame has people talking..."
Tess: "SERIOUSLY?
"Man In The Hat (laughing): "As you know, Tess, I've always supported you on the Hall of Fame, even if I think the 100 fight minimum is outdated and I support you on this one. It's been said all along that quality was an issue. I remember conversations where that was discussed and it was determined that quality could be determined by titles won. But, however you do it, it's obviously important. I think it's clear you take the Hall of Fame responsibility seriously, as you should. The Hall should only be for the best, and we have to make sure it stays that way."
Tess: "Thanks, Wiz."
Reporter: "But...won't this affect Front Street?"
Man In The Hat: "Not a WHIT. As I've said repeatedly, we aren't putting anyone else in the Hall of Fame. We aren't fighting girls ten or twelve times a year. That's not the way it works here. And, that's not changing. So. No. It doesn't affect us at all. But, you know what WILL affect you...or, at least, your taste buds? Chef's surf and turf..."
Tess: "Let's GO!"
