Farewell - Ali Landry vs Amanda Righetti - (1/2): The Talk
Nov 25, 2018 5:01:37 GMT -6
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Post by Bonzo on Nov 25, 2018 5:01:37 GMT -6
AMANDA RIGHETTI (35 y/o, 5 ft 8, W: 86, L: 28) vs ALI LANDRY (45 y/o, 5 ft 8, W: 100, L: 52, D: 4)
A Cajun Farewell – Ali Landry’s Last Battle
(Results: Lookout!, Words: Bonzo)
(1/2) – The Talk
Ali Landry needs no introductions. She’s been in 156 fights. She’s had her first fight in 2000. She’s had one of the longest-running careers in the league. She’s won fifteen titles. She once defended the welterweight title in six consecutive defenses. She’s had legendary rivals all across the league. She’s the original pageant jabber. She’s one of the most striking brunette beauties ever seen fighting on FCBA canvas. She was one of the first inductees into the Hall of Fame. Up until 2011 – the year she was introduced – no welter could look past her for division dominance.
Since 2012, Ali Landry’s also lost ten out of twelve fights. She’s lost her management. She hasn’t fought since February 2017. It’s time to hang up the gloves for good.
Ali’s decided to go out on her own terms. In full spotlight. Against one of the biggest rivals of her later-stage career. Ali wants to go out with a bang, one way or another.
She’s challenged Amanda Righetti for her farewell battle. These two have met three times before from 2009 to 2011 and Amanda’s up 2-1. Ali’s won their last fight by a technical knockout. Can she do it again?
This will also be the time for a candid look-back at Ali Landry’s great career.
It’s a special event hosted by Bonzo’s Gym Boxing at private location in the Mississippi delta, home turf for Louisiana-born Ali. Expect it to be a sweaty, humid affair.
The event will consist of two parts:
The Talk.
The Fight.
The Talk will be a conversation between Ali and Amanda about Ali’s career. Tune in to see what Ali says about her humble beginnings in the division, her legendary rivalries from Charlize Theron to Jennifer O’Dell and some of her encounters with members of Bonzo’s Gym. It’s a candid history lesson and a retrospective about a legendary career.
The Fight will, of course, be ten rounds of welterweight boxing.
Tonight, it’s time for:
Ali Landry and Amanda Righetti:
One-on-One – A Candid Look-Back at Ali Landry’s Legendary Career in Five Parts – What You Will Need to Remember About Ali’s Career
We meet our fighters on the evening of their battle. It’s an intimate setting. A crackling fireplace, two leather armchairs, golden lighting, darkness in the rest of the room. No audience. We meet Ali – still a distinctive beauty at 45, slimmer than in her welterweight heyday but in wonderful shape – the pageant girl turned classy fighter legend. We meet Amanda – also a member of the hall of fame by now, a hundred-fight, five-title veteran, her usual athletic, broad-shouldered beauty. There’s a firm handshake, respect, interest, probably no friendship. Amanda introduces the television audience to the conversation’s setting, to the upcoming fight – she will chair this conversation and wander around the hallmarks of a legendary career, together with Ali.
Note: Thanks to Archer, Vassago, Dradis and everybody else who’s put up and maintained our archive. Without your work, our history would be a blank page.
Also a shout-out to Ali’s former stables: SWO! Samdog! Jeri’s Knockouts!
I hope you check out some of the fights mentioned here on the archive in full. I’ve added some links to a couple prestigious battles.
Of course, this is a selection of fights and fighters to remember…I picked the ones I identified as Ali’s biggest rivals. No snubs intended.
I also tried to pack in as many of my favourite Ali photos as possible, and many others of her beautiful competitors!
All comments by Ali and Amanda in this conversation do not necessarily represent the opinion of Bonzo’s Gym Boxing – we’re just producing this thing for your entertainment.
Part 1 – Humble Beginnings, or: the Pageant Girl
Amanda: “Let’s start this thing. January 15, 2000. Your first professional fight in the league. I was 16 back then. Remember your opponent?”
Ali: “Help me out.”
Amanda: “Liz Berkley.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Berkley, January 15, 2000
Ali: “Oh, sure.”
Amanda: “I love the way you were introduced here…“the highest KO ratio in the Miss America pageant”. Sounds like you all right.”
Ali: “I beat her, right?”
Amanda: “Sure you did. KO10, in fact. Liz was a big lass. Quite the statement you made there. I remember sparring with her at the Tech gyms. That woman hated me like a stepmother.”
“Funny that I’ve never met Liz again. I was a free-swingin’ fighter back then. Brimming with confidence. I had this beauty pageant mentality, wanted to be better than every friggin’ body. Wanted to hit harder than anybody in the business. Did the occasional dumb thing in the ring.”
“I guess you could say you still took the division by storm. You grew too big for lightweights soon. I mean, these are some records, Ali. 13-4 in 2000, only stopped by Theron – we’ll get to her later – Nolin, and Margolis. 16-2 in 2001. 12-3 in 2002. Wow.
“Eighteen fights in a year. These were the circus days. Ever got those kind of records, Amanda?”
“Well, I’m 11-1 for this year, and I went 12-2 and 12-3 in the past.”
“Okay. Forgot about that.”
“Sure you did. Let’s look at that 2001 welterweight title run. Six defenses. That’s more than Tahnee.”
Ali: “Who?”
Amanda: “Yeah, right, don’t pretend you didn’t follow that. I mean, you have to admit these six defenses included Jamie Lee Curtis, Marceau, Kilcher and some unknown chick called April Telek. April Telek sounds like some Japanese puppy robot.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Telek (June 4, 2000)
Ali: “Six defenses is six defenses. More than you.”
Amanda: “Gotta admit that. Let’s move on. Actually, I think it ain’t this title run where we’ve first seen the Ali Landry magic. It’s that winning streak across 2001 and 2002. Fifteen fights without a loss, although there’s one draw included. And these wins include Theron, Warren, Crawford, Peta Wilson, Farrell. This is where you truly arrived with the big girls.”
Ali: “My natural territory.”
Part 2 – Meeting the Golden Goddess
Amanda: “Let’s look at one of the defining rivalries of you career. I mean, there’s Cat Bell, too, but I think Landry/Theron might be one of my favourite classic blonde/brunette rivalries of all time. I think we need to look at this chronologically to understand the magnitude of those battles. But let’s start with this: what do you think has been Charlize’s greatest strength? Is it that famed confidence?”
Ali: “Well, it allows her to do things mere mortals struggle with. According to Charlize, we’re all inferior. In acting. That one might even be true, you know. In beauty. In strength. In legs. In stamina. In technical ability. In smarts. We’re all inferior. Now picture a fight of someone beating up Charlize for nine and a half rounds, winning maybe eight and a half of those. Add maybe, like, five knockdowns against her. During that moment, after nine and a half rounds, Charlize will still think you’re a pretender. That doesn’t mean you can’t finish the fight and win. But it just might mean Charlize could also knock you out in that half of a minute.”
Amanda: “I remember my first fight with her. I had no problem with her confidence, or her bluster. I was fighting my fight, doing what I do. Reducing her, knocking her down, collecting round after round. Then she finds that chin-checking switch. In Round 9. Okay, sucks. Puts me down for the count. I’m in trouble, but I’m not letting myself get put away. I turn things around in the tenth. I win. Repeat: I win. But that turnaround, that knockdown that’s turned the decision closer…that’s enough for Charlize to walk away feeling like a winner. She’s not acting it.”
Ali: “Of course, I watched that fight. That was marketed like the Ali, Foreman battle of female celebrity boxing.”
Amanda: “Foreman won this one.”
Ali: “I also saw the second one. Did she get in your head, Amanda?”
Amanda: “I don’t think she did. But she had the best legs in the business back then, and I couldn’t stop those legs, at least on that particular night. I had her down and should have stopped her right then and there, but I didn’t. Let’s get back to you, Ali, though. I’m gonna read out those results now.
March 5, 2000: Theron wins a TKO8
August 13, 2000: Theron wins a 1 Pt. Dec
December 12, 2001: Landry wins a KO5 Title Bout
April 19, 2003: Landry wins a KO7
March 7, 2003: Theron wins a KO2 Title Bout
September 27, 2003: Theron wins a UD10
January 1, 2007: Theron wins a KO10
May 29, 2009: Landry wins a UD10 Title Bout
That’s eight fights and a 5-3 for Charlize. You’re ¬2-1 in title bouts. I think you can see how this rivalry shaped up in stages. Back in 2000, Charlize was already pretty accomplished. You weren’t ready for her.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Theron I (March 3, 2000)
Ali: “The first one was a nightmare. I came in like a little kid, and she danced and taunted me into defeat. It’s a result that has really shaped me, though. Made me a better fighter. Made me hate Charlize. I’m adamant that I won the second one, though.”
Amanda: “It’s in the books as a one-pointer for Char, though.”
Ali: “Controversial. Very, very controversial. Any way, it’s where she felt my power for the first time. Experience was starting to become less of an advantage for her.”
Amanda: “Then, it suddenly looks like you’ve figured CT out. A KO5 title victory. Come from behind, a little ass-kicked, but some shattering knockout work. Then a KO7. You’re on top of the world now. You’re the best woman in the league. Post-fight, you’re giving butt-slaps to the proudest woman in boxing. Then, wham, three months later, she humiliates you with a thunderbolt right cross in the second round, punches you out like some redneck hillbilly.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Theron IV (April 19, 2003)
Link to Fight – Landry/Theron V (July 3, 2000)
Ali: “Don’t exaggerate, Amanda.”
Amanda: “You’ve got to admit it. You’ve entered that fight with the opportunity to beat her three times in a row, and she responded with the earliest knockout between you. Later that year, she’s riding you out for a decision win. Early in 2003, it looked as if Ali Landry might control Charlize. At the end of the year, the Landry threat’s under Charlize’s wrap. What happened?”
“Despite her relative decline throughout the years, people have never really gotten a foot on Charlize’s neck. She’s suffered losses, but nobody ever truly fought, beat and controlled Charlize across an extended period of time. People thought Big Rigs might become that one fighter. It didn’t happen.”
“We’re not here to talk about me. You stopped meeting Charlize for a couple of years, but that KO in the dying seconds of your 2007 bout must have hurt.”
“Talk about the last one.”
Amanda: “Your decision win over Charlize in 2009 started your next-to-last title reign. It looked like you might become a dominant factor again.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Theron VIII (May 29, 2009)
Ali: “Don’t be cute. You know you took that away from me in my first defense.”
Amanda: “We’ll talk about those later. Is your rivalry with Charlize complete? You could have fought her for this farewell battle, right?”
“I’ll probably run across her again in some hotel room brawl or so. I think our rivalry is as complete as it could be. She’s won more fights, but she couldn’t keep me down. I wanted to fight someone younger for this one. People wouldn’t be shocked by me beating Charlize now. They WILL be shocked, flabbergasted, by me knocking YOU out. I’m sure Kate Upton’s watching.”
“Don’t get too excited, Ali.”
Part 3 – The Legendary Series against Jennifer O’Dell
Amanda: “I’m sorry, Ali. But this is the time where we need to talk about Jenny O’Dell.”
Ali: “You’ve never met her, right?”
Amanda: “No.”
“That would have been one hell of a fight.”
Amanda: “You’ve lost two title fights to Jenny. After that, you lost the best-of-seven 2-4. That’s a 2-6. Wow. Is Jenny your nemesis?”
Ali: “Have you ever been in a best of seven?”
“No.”
“You should. Against a rival on your competition level, it’s the biggest thing in boxing. Single fights don’t destroy girls. Series can destroy girls for good. You don’t know what it’s like until you’ve experienced it yourself. That KO4 that opened up Jenny’s 3-1 lead after my comeback in the third. It’s the most devastating loss of my career.”
Amanda: “I’ve watched the tape. You’re literally crying at the punishment. I’ve never seen that. You’re so punched out you don’t even realize she’s just stopped you again.”
Link to Fight – Landry/O’Dell # 4 Best of 7 (May 26, 2006)
Ali: “It’s kinda like when Bridget Regan ate you up. Or Kate Upton knocked you out K10 during your last title run, what, like, five years ago?”
Amanda: “Two years. I see what you’re trying to do here, Ali. Do you think you were the same after losing that best-of-7 to Jenny?”
Ali: “Nobody’s the same after losing a best-of-seven. But I wasn’t finished. I might have been conquered by Jenny O’Dell, but not by the rest of the welterweight division. Big difference.”
Part 4 – Ali’s Favourite Moments
Amanda: “Let’s discuss some other things. I’ll throw in some names. Gena Lee Nolin.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Nolin VI (February 11, 2002)
Ali: “How many times did I meet Gena?”
Amanda: “Twelve fights. Wow. You’re 6-6. Did you know that I’m 4-0 against GLN?”
“Good for you. I thought this wasn’t about you, though? I probably should have been able to subdue Gena throughout all those times. You’ve read out our win/loss. Gena did the most with what she could. Every time I beat her, I thought I found the recipe. Then she came back with some sort of combination of sleekness and fouling. It’s not just the fouling, though. People just didn’t know how to fight her and that’s why she kept kicking their butts.”
“You know, simple-minded power always worked for me. Put a baseball bat to her gut, and work from there.”
“Yeah, yeah. If you had fought her twelve times, you’d have seen your share of ass-kickings. Trust me, red.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Nolin X (May 12, 2007)
Amanda: “Jeri Ryan.”
Ali: “You know, Jeri’s the kind of chick I put under my control. Of course, there’s the right hand you never see comin’. I fell victim to it once. Only once. We were Samdog, JKO rivals. I just knew her too well. Broke her down to the body each and every time after that.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Ryan V (October 8, 2010)
Amanda: “Tyra Banks.”
Ali: “Big, but chinny. The Kristanna Loken of her day. I lost to her once. Then it’s just knockouts, knockouts, knockouts, baby.”
Amanda: “Torrie Wilson.”
Ali: “Another big blonde conquered. I’m like, what, 6-1 against her, right? These big-bodied girls like Torrie never troubled me. Leggy Theron: maybe. But Torrie stands and delivers, and I’ll always be the heavier-handed lass when we fight like that.”
Amanda: “Rebecca Romijn.”
Ali: “Undefeated, baby. Undefeated.”
“Ahem.”
“Yes, Becky stole a controversial UD10 in 2012. That was bored Ali. In my prime, I roasted Becks each and every time. One of my most comprehensive victims.”
Amanda: “You really have great win/loss records against your biggest rivals. Only Gena’s neutral and Charlize’s slightly ahead. Impressive stuff.”
Ali: “You know how it works. Success is about besting your biggest rivals. It’s not what happens against, what was that name, girls like March Telek. It’s what happens against Keibler, Romijn, you name ‘em. Those girls that always keep coming back. Didn’t it take you a decade to get even with Regan?”
“Hrm. Let’s talk about those last few years. We have to.”
“The motivation’s just not there. You need to remember I was 35 when we first met. I was 37 when I won my last title. I was 38 when I had a negative win/loss record for the first time. I’ve conquered lightweight and welterweight. I’ve seen it all. I’ve done it all. After winning title fights against Bridget and you in 2011, what did I have to prove? I’m the best welterweight of the 2000s.”
“I’d have no problem admitting you’re the best welterweight of 2000 to 2008.”
Ali: “You know, I won’t lie. Kate Upton’s wins over me were shocking. Embarrassing. There’s no way prime-Ali Landry could have been knocked out by a boob model. But enough’s enough. I mean, it’s one thing if you want to keep fighting because there’s something you haven’t accomplished yet. But I have accomplished everything. I’m a legend.”
Amanda: “You are.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Upton I (October 5, 2013)
Part 5 – Ali takes on Bonzo’s Gym, clashing with “Big Rigs”
Amanda: “We’re slowly reaching the end of our conversation. Don’t want to take away your precious sleep for tomorrow’s battle.”
Ali: “Speak for yourself.”
Amanda: “I’ll stop teasing. Do you remember your first fight against Bonzo’s Gym?”
“Nadia Bjorlin?”
“Not a bad guess, but no. There’s a Cori Nadine fight, which we’ll happily ignore – I know Bonzo does – and, more importantly, you’ve fought Nikki Visser three times in 2004 and 2005.”
Ali: “I have this vague memory of some big, blonde Aussie chick. Lots of leg power, but more of a waitress-turned-boxer type.”
Amanda: “I don’t think she was that unknown Down Under, Ali. But she was a threat! There’s no footage from the first two fights, but she beat you in a title bout KO7.”
“If there’s no footage, then it didn’t happen. I think I’ve dealt with her, though, at some point. There was no Nikki Visser threat after that.”
“Yes, there’s your KO3. It’s all there. The official league report calls it an oily right hand that has lights-out emblazoned all over it, with Nikki going limp on contact, a tyrannical knockout.”
“See? Blonde girl comes in all cute and cheeky, scores an upset thinking she’s rocked my world, gets sent back to Australia hand-tame and tenderized. That’s how I work. Next.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Visser III (June 4, 2005)
Amanda: “Let’s get to 2006. Bjorlin’s the next Bonzo threat, and she really was a threat to you.”
Ali: “She thought she was a threat to me.”
Amanda: “Okay. I can see some similarities. Dubious claims to fame: Doritos Girl, Days of our Lives. Steamy hot brunettes, curvy power punchers.”
“No, no. Nadia wanted to be the next Ali Landry, but simply wasn’t good enough to do the job.”
Amanda: “Let’s look at that September ’08 last-round knockout. The right uppercut from Nadia’s arched back clipping your chin, loosening you up…there’s Nadia working in between your shoulders, twitching lefts and rights onto your chin and rack, propping you up…you pooling down, all used up.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Bjorlin III (September 5, 2008)
Ali: “Nadia’s one of the wildest girls I’ve ever met in the ring, a true jungle fighter. She came through once and that was pure punching luck. I’ve beaten her three times. I never heard from her again.”
“This is July 2009 now, and you’re really taking it to her. You’re storming rack. Poor Nadia’s jugs are all flopping and pancaking about, getting beaten like putty. Nadia’s right bra-strap gives ay as she’s sagging into ropes. She’s in stupor – wow, this is Ali Landry payback.”
“Absolutely. This chick wanted to take away everything away from me. Those scenes we just saw: that’s me taking out a fighter’s heart. Never heard a word of challenge from her again.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Bjorlin IV (July 25, 2009)
Amanda: “Okay. A couple weeks before that, you’ve beaten Charlize for the title. We’ve discussed that fight. Here’s where I come in.”
Ali: “Yes.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Righetti I (July 26, 2009)
Amanda: “Be honest. What did you, like, think of me back in the day?”
Ali: “I was impressed, but only to a point. You’re a well-built chick, but at welter, that comes with the territory. You were being pummeled at light. There was nothing an Ali Landry should have to fear. Didn’t you do this whole marketing campaign about being too big for light, and taking a hammer to welter?”
“Well, I kept that promise.”
“I mean, I can admit it now. Those were two of the most devastating losses of my career. That was the first time a new, proud, strong, young woman came up and just relentlessly overpowered me. That just didn’t happen to an Ali Landry. Took me weeks and months to deal with it. Had to get back to the drawing board.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Righetti II (February 14, 2009)
Amanda: “I couldn’t have achieved what I did at welter without beating you.”
Ali: “But I still had it, you know. And then I went and beat Bridget and you back-to-back for the title.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Regan (January 29, 2011)
Amanda: “I still have no idea how that happened. You probably took some of the worst damage of your career against Bridgy. Still managed to eke out a one-point duke.”
Ali: “It’s a veteran thing. Caught you young’uns by surprise.”
“Our third fight felt, I don’t know, weird. I never found my rhythm.”
“Thank God. That was the plan.”
“You fought a good, aggressive counter strategy. Kudos.”
“People just didn’t believe that I could still beat you. Or Bridget. Let alone back-to-back. It was a great moment.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Righetti III (February 20, 2011)
“And the fire was gone after it?”
“I’m not trying to make excuses for my losses. But I got knocked out by Milena Govich. That’s not who I am.”
“Do you follow what’s currently happening at welterweight?”
“I do. All these models. I don’t think most of these chicks would have survived in the league I grew up in. But you’re all letting them run wild, so this is what happened.”
“Kate Upton vs Jennifer Lawrence – who do you think will win?”
“I hope J-Law will pound her rack into oblivion and steal that title!”
“Well, actually, you know, that’s going to be my job, sooner rather than later. Back to tomorrow: will this really be your last fight?”
“Well, that would have to be a pretty huge paycheck to lure me back. Or someone I really hate.”
Amanda: “Thanks for this conversation, Ali. Good luck tomorrow.”
Ali: “You’re going to need it.”
A Cajun Farewell – Ali Landry’s Last Battle
(Results: Lookout!, Words: Bonzo)
(1/2) – The Talk
Ali Landry needs no introductions. She’s been in 156 fights. She’s had her first fight in 2000. She’s had one of the longest-running careers in the league. She’s won fifteen titles. She once defended the welterweight title in six consecutive defenses. She’s had legendary rivals all across the league. She’s the original pageant jabber. She’s one of the most striking brunette beauties ever seen fighting on FCBA canvas. She was one of the first inductees into the Hall of Fame. Up until 2011 – the year she was introduced – no welter could look past her for division dominance.
Since 2012, Ali Landry’s also lost ten out of twelve fights. She’s lost her management. She hasn’t fought since February 2017. It’s time to hang up the gloves for good.
Ali’s decided to go out on her own terms. In full spotlight. Against one of the biggest rivals of her later-stage career. Ali wants to go out with a bang, one way or another.
She’s challenged Amanda Righetti for her farewell battle. These two have met three times before from 2009 to 2011 and Amanda’s up 2-1. Ali’s won their last fight by a technical knockout. Can she do it again?
This will also be the time for a candid look-back at Ali Landry’s great career.
It’s a special event hosted by Bonzo’s Gym Boxing at private location in the Mississippi delta, home turf for Louisiana-born Ali. Expect it to be a sweaty, humid affair.
The event will consist of two parts:
The Talk.
The Fight.
The Talk will be a conversation between Ali and Amanda about Ali’s career. Tune in to see what Ali says about her humble beginnings in the division, her legendary rivalries from Charlize Theron to Jennifer O’Dell and some of her encounters with members of Bonzo’s Gym. It’s a candid history lesson and a retrospective about a legendary career.
The Fight will, of course, be ten rounds of welterweight boxing.
Tonight, it’s time for:
Ali Landry and Amanda Righetti:
One-on-One – A Candid Look-Back at Ali Landry’s Legendary Career in Five Parts – What You Will Need to Remember About Ali’s Career
We meet our fighters on the evening of their battle. It’s an intimate setting. A crackling fireplace, two leather armchairs, golden lighting, darkness in the rest of the room. No audience. We meet Ali – still a distinctive beauty at 45, slimmer than in her welterweight heyday but in wonderful shape – the pageant girl turned classy fighter legend. We meet Amanda – also a member of the hall of fame by now, a hundred-fight, five-title veteran, her usual athletic, broad-shouldered beauty. There’s a firm handshake, respect, interest, probably no friendship. Amanda introduces the television audience to the conversation’s setting, to the upcoming fight – she will chair this conversation and wander around the hallmarks of a legendary career, together with Ali.
Note: Thanks to Archer, Vassago, Dradis and everybody else who’s put up and maintained our archive. Without your work, our history would be a blank page.
Also a shout-out to Ali’s former stables: SWO! Samdog! Jeri’s Knockouts!
I hope you check out some of the fights mentioned here on the archive in full. I’ve added some links to a couple prestigious battles.
Of course, this is a selection of fights and fighters to remember…I picked the ones I identified as Ali’s biggest rivals. No snubs intended.
I also tried to pack in as many of my favourite Ali photos as possible, and many others of her beautiful competitors!
All comments by Ali and Amanda in this conversation do not necessarily represent the opinion of Bonzo’s Gym Boxing – we’re just producing this thing for your entertainment.
Part 1 – Humble Beginnings, or: the Pageant Girl
Amanda: “Let’s start this thing. January 15, 2000. Your first professional fight in the league. I was 16 back then. Remember your opponent?”
Ali: “Help me out.”
Amanda: “Liz Berkley.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Berkley, January 15, 2000
Ali: “Oh, sure.”
Amanda: “I love the way you were introduced here…“the highest KO ratio in the Miss America pageant”. Sounds like you all right.”
Ali: “I beat her, right?”
Amanda: “Sure you did. KO10, in fact. Liz was a big lass. Quite the statement you made there. I remember sparring with her at the Tech gyms. That woman hated me like a stepmother.”
“Funny that I’ve never met Liz again. I was a free-swingin’ fighter back then. Brimming with confidence. I had this beauty pageant mentality, wanted to be better than every friggin’ body. Wanted to hit harder than anybody in the business. Did the occasional dumb thing in the ring.”
“I guess you could say you still took the division by storm. You grew too big for lightweights soon. I mean, these are some records, Ali. 13-4 in 2000, only stopped by Theron – we’ll get to her later – Nolin, and Margolis. 16-2 in 2001. 12-3 in 2002. Wow.
“Eighteen fights in a year. These were the circus days. Ever got those kind of records, Amanda?”
“Well, I’m 11-1 for this year, and I went 12-2 and 12-3 in the past.”
“Okay. Forgot about that.”
“Sure you did. Let’s look at that 2001 welterweight title run. Six defenses. That’s more than Tahnee.”
Ali: “Who?”
Amanda: “Yeah, right, don’t pretend you didn’t follow that. I mean, you have to admit these six defenses included Jamie Lee Curtis, Marceau, Kilcher and some unknown chick called April Telek. April Telek sounds like some Japanese puppy robot.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Telek (June 4, 2000)
Ali: “Six defenses is six defenses. More than you.”
Amanda: “Gotta admit that. Let’s move on. Actually, I think it ain’t this title run where we’ve first seen the Ali Landry magic. It’s that winning streak across 2001 and 2002. Fifteen fights without a loss, although there’s one draw included. And these wins include Theron, Warren, Crawford, Peta Wilson, Farrell. This is where you truly arrived with the big girls.”
Ali: “My natural territory.”
Part 2 – Meeting the Golden Goddess
Amanda: “Let’s look at one of the defining rivalries of you career. I mean, there’s Cat Bell, too, but I think Landry/Theron might be one of my favourite classic blonde/brunette rivalries of all time. I think we need to look at this chronologically to understand the magnitude of those battles. But let’s start with this: what do you think has been Charlize’s greatest strength? Is it that famed confidence?”
Ali: “Well, it allows her to do things mere mortals struggle with. According to Charlize, we’re all inferior. In acting. That one might even be true, you know. In beauty. In strength. In legs. In stamina. In technical ability. In smarts. We’re all inferior. Now picture a fight of someone beating up Charlize for nine and a half rounds, winning maybe eight and a half of those. Add maybe, like, five knockdowns against her. During that moment, after nine and a half rounds, Charlize will still think you’re a pretender. That doesn’t mean you can’t finish the fight and win. But it just might mean Charlize could also knock you out in that half of a minute.”
Amanda: “I remember my first fight with her. I had no problem with her confidence, or her bluster. I was fighting my fight, doing what I do. Reducing her, knocking her down, collecting round after round. Then she finds that chin-checking switch. In Round 9. Okay, sucks. Puts me down for the count. I’m in trouble, but I’m not letting myself get put away. I turn things around in the tenth. I win. Repeat: I win. But that turnaround, that knockdown that’s turned the decision closer…that’s enough for Charlize to walk away feeling like a winner. She’s not acting it.”
Ali: “Of course, I watched that fight. That was marketed like the Ali, Foreman battle of female celebrity boxing.”
Amanda: “Foreman won this one.”
Ali: “I also saw the second one. Did she get in your head, Amanda?”
Amanda: “I don’t think she did. But she had the best legs in the business back then, and I couldn’t stop those legs, at least on that particular night. I had her down and should have stopped her right then and there, but I didn’t. Let’s get back to you, Ali, though. I’m gonna read out those results now.
March 5, 2000: Theron wins a TKO8
August 13, 2000: Theron wins a 1 Pt. Dec
December 12, 2001: Landry wins a KO5 Title Bout
April 19, 2003: Landry wins a KO7
March 7, 2003: Theron wins a KO2 Title Bout
September 27, 2003: Theron wins a UD10
January 1, 2007: Theron wins a KO10
May 29, 2009: Landry wins a UD10 Title Bout
That’s eight fights and a 5-3 for Charlize. You’re ¬2-1 in title bouts. I think you can see how this rivalry shaped up in stages. Back in 2000, Charlize was already pretty accomplished. You weren’t ready for her.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Theron I (March 3, 2000)
Ali: “The first one was a nightmare. I came in like a little kid, and she danced and taunted me into defeat. It’s a result that has really shaped me, though. Made me a better fighter. Made me hate Charlize. I’m adamant that I won the second one, though.”
Amanda: “It’s in the books as a one-pointer for Char, though.”
Ali: “Controversial. Very, very controversial. Any way, it’s where she felt my power for the first time. Experience was starting to become less of an advantage for her.”
Amanda: “Then, it suddenly looks like you’ve figured CT out. A KO5 title victory. Come from behind, a little ass-kicked, but some shattering knockout work. Then a KO7. You’re on top of the world now. You’re the best woman in the league. Post-fight, you’re giving butt-slaps to the proudest woman in boxing. Then, wham, three months later, she humiliates you with a thunderbolt right cross in the second round, punches you out like some redneck hillbilly.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Theron IV (April 19, 2003)
Link to Fight – Landry/Theron V (July 3, 2000)
Ali: “Don’t exaggerate, Amanda.”
Amanda: “You’ve got to admit it. You’ve entered that fight with the opportunity to beat her three times in a row, and she responded with the earliest knockout between you. Later that year, she’s riding you out for a decision win. Early in 2003, it looked as if Ali Landry might control Charlize. At the end of the year, the Landry threat’s under Charlize’s wrap. What happened?”
“Despite her relative decline throughout the years, people have never really gotten a foot on Charlize’s neck. She’s suffered losses, but nobody ever truly fought, beat and controlled Charlize across an extended period of time. People thought Big Rigs might become that one fighter. It didn’t happen.”
“We’re not here to talk about me. You stopped meeting Charlize for a couple of years, but that KO in the dying seconds of your 2007 bout must have hurt.”
“Talk about the last one.”
Amanda: “Your decision win over Charlize in 2009 started your next-to-last title reign. It looked like you might become a dominant factor again.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Theron VIII (May 29, 2009)
Ali: “Don’t be cute. You know you took that away from me in my first defense.”
Amanda: “We’ll talk about those later. Is your rivalry with Charlize complete? You could have fought her for this farewell battle, right?”
“I’ll probably run across her again in some hotel room brawl or so. I think our rivalry is as complete as it could be. She’s won more fights, but she couldn’t keep me down. I wanted to fight someone younger for this one. People wouldn’t be shocked by me beating Charlize now. They WILL be shocked, flabbergasted, by me knocking YOU out. I’m sure Kate Upton’s watching.”
“Don’t get too excited, Ali.”
Part 3 – The Legendary Series against Jennifer O’Dell
Amanda: “I’m sorry, Ali. But this is the time where we need to talk about Jenny O’Dell.”
Ali: “You’ve never met her, right?”
Amanda: “No.”
“That would have been one hell of a fight.”
Amanda: “You’ve lost two title fights to Jenny. After that, you lost the best-of-seven 2-4. That’s a 2-6. Wow. Is Jenny your nemesis?”
Ali: “Have you ever been in a best of seven?”
“No.”
“You should. Against a rival on your competition level, it’s the biggest thing in boxing. Single fights don’t destroy girls. Series can destroy girls for good. You don’t know what it’s like until you’ve experienced it yourself. That KO4 that opened up Jenny’s 3-1 lead after my comeback in the third. It’s the most devastating loss of my career.”
Amanda: “I’ve watched the tape. You’re literally crying at the punishment. I’ve never seen that. You’re so punched out you don’t even realize she’s just stopped you again.”
Link to Fight – Landry/O’Dell # 4 Best of 7 (May 26, 2006)
Ali: “It’s kinda like when Bridget Regan ate you up. Or Kate Upton knocked you out K10 during your last title run, what, like, five years ago?”
Amanda: “Two years. I see what you’re trying to do here, Ali. Do you think you were the same after losing that best-of-7 to Jenny?”
Ali: “Nobody’s the same after losing a best-of-seven. But I wasn’t finished. I might have been conquered by Jenny O’Dell, but not by the rest of the welterweight division. Big difference.”
Part 4 – Ali’s Favourite Moments
Amanda: “Let’s discuss some other things. I’ll throw in some names. Gena Lee Nolin.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Nolin VI (February 11, 2002)
Ali: “How many times did I meet Gena?”
Amanda: “Twelve fights. Wow. You’re 6-6. Did you know that I’m 4-0 against GLN?”
“Good for you. I thought this wasn’t about you, though? I probably should have been able to subdue Gena throughout all those times. You’ve read out our win/loss. Gena did the most with what she could. Every time I beat her, I thought I found the recipe. Then she came back with some sort of combination of sleekness and fouling. It’s not just the fouling, though. People just didn’t know how to fight her and that’s why she kept kicking their butts.”
“You know, simple-minded power always worked for me. Put a baseball bat to her gut, and work from there.”
“Yeah, yeah. If you had fought her twelve times, you’d have seen your share of ass-kickings. Trust me, red.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Nolin X (May 12, 2007)
Amanda: “Jeri Ryan.”
Ali: “You know, Jeri’s the kind of chick I put under my control. Of course, there’s the right hand you never see comin’. I fell victim to it once. Only once. We were Samdog, JKO rivals. I just knew her too well. Broke her down to the body each and every time after that.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Ryan V (October 8, 2010)
Amanda: “Tyra Banks.”
Ali: “Big, but chinny. The Kristanna Loken of her day. I lost to her once. Then it’s just knockouts, knockouts, knockouts, baby.”
Amanda: “Torrie Wilson.”
Ali: “Another big blonde conquered. I’m like, what, 6-1 against her, right? These big-bodied girls like Torrie never troubled me. Leggy Theron: maybe. But Torrie stands and delivers, and I’ll always be the heavier-handed lass when we fight like that.”
Amanda: “Rebecca Romijn.”
Ali: “Undefeated, baby. Undefeated.”
“Ahem.”
“Yes, Becky stole a controversial UD10 in 2012. That was bored Ali. In my prime, I roasted Becks each and every time. One of my most comprehensive victims.”
Amanda: “You really have great win/loss records against your biggest rivals. Only Gena’s neutral and Charlize’s slightly ahead. Impressive stuff.”
Ali: “You know how it works. Success is about besting your biggest rivals. It’s not what happens against, what was that name, girls like March Telek. It’s what happens against Keibler, Romijn, you name ‘em. Those girls that always keep coming back. Didn’t it take you a decade to get even with Regan?”
“Hrm. Let’s talk about those last few years. We have to.”
“The motivation’s just not there. You need to remember I was 35 when we first met. I was 37 when I won my last title. I was 38 when I had a negative win/loss record for the first time. I’ve conquered lightweight and welterweight. I’ve seen it all. I’ve done it all. After winning title fights against Bridget and you in 2011, what did I have to prove? I’m the best welterweight of the 2000s.”
“I’d have no problem admitting you’re the best welterweight of 2000 to 2008.”
Ali: “You know, I won’t lie. Kate Upton’s wins over me were shocking. Embarrassing. There’s no way prime-Ali Landry could have been knocked out by a boob model. But enough’s enough. I mean, it’s one thing if you want to keep fighting because there’s something you haven’t accomplished yet. But I have accomplished everything. I’m a legend.”
Amanda: “You are.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Upton I (October 5, 2013)
Part 5 – Ali takes on Bonzo’s Gym, clashing with “Big Rigs”
Amanda: “We’re slowly reaching the end of our conversation. Don’t want to take away your precious sleep for tomorrow’s battle.”
Ali: “Speak for yourself.”
Amanda: “I’ll stop teasing. Do you remember your first fight against Bonzo’s Gym?”
“Nadia Bjorlin?”
“Not a bad guess, but no. There’s a Cori Nadine fight, which we’ll happily ignore – I know Bonzo does – and, more importantly, you’ve fought Nikki Visser three times in 2004 and 2005.”
Ali: “I have this vague memory of some big, blonde Aussie chick. Lots of leg power, but more of a waitress-turned-boxer type.”
Amanda: “I don’t think she was that unknown Down Under, Ali. But she was a threat! There’s no footage from the first two fights, but she beat you in a title bout KO7.”
“If there’s no footage, then it didn’t happen. I think I’ve dealt with her, though, at some point. There was no Nikki Visser threat after that.”
“Yes, there’s your KO3. It’s all there. The official league report calls it an oily right hand that has lights-out emblazoned all over it, with Nikki going limp on contact, a tyrannical knockout.”
“See? Blonde girl comes in all cute and cheeky, scores an upset thinking she’s rocked my world, gets sent back to Australia hand-tame and tenderized. That’s how I work. Next.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Visser III (June 4, 2005)
Amanda: “Let’s get to 2006. Bjorlin’s the next Bonzo threat, and she really was a threat to you.”
Ali: “She thought she was a threat to me.”
Amanda: “Okay. I can see some similarities. Dubious claims to fame: Doritos Girl, Days of our Lives. Steamy hot brunettes, curvy power punchers.”
“No, no. Nadia wanted to be the next Ali Landry, but simply wasn’t good enough to do the job.”
Amanda: “Let’s look at that September ’08 last-round knockout. The right uppercut from Nadia’s arched back clipping your chin, loosening you up…there’s Nadia working in between your shoulders, twitching lefts and rights onto your chin and rack, propping you up…you pooling down, all used up.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Bjorlin III (September 5, 2008)
Ali: “Nadia’s one of the wildest girls I’ve ever met in the ring, a true jungle fighter. She came through once and that was pure punching luck. I’ve beaten her three times. I never heard from her again.”
“This is July 2009 now, and you’re really taking it to her. You’re storming rack. Poor Nadia’s jugs are all flopping and pancaking about, getting beaten like putty. Nadia’s right bra-strap gives ay as she’s sagging into ropes. She’s in stupor – wow, this is Ali Landry payback.”
“Absolutely. This chick wanted to take away everything away from me. Those scenes we just saw: that’s me taking out a fighter’s heart. Never heard a word of challenge from her again.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Bjorlin IV (July 25, 2009)
Amanda: “Okay. A couple weeks before that, you’ve beaten Charlize for the title. We’ve discussed that fight. Here’s where I come in.”
Ali: “Yes.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Righetti I (July 26, 2009)
Amanda: “Be honest. What did you, like, think of me back in the day?”
Ali: “I was impressed, but only to a point. You’re a well-built chick, but at welter, that comes with the territory. You were being pummeled at light. There was nothing an Ali Landry should have to fear. Didn’t you do this whole marketing campaign about being too big for light, and taking a hammer to welter?”
“Well, I kept that promise.”
“I mean, I can admit it now. Those were two of the most devastating losses of my career. That was the first time a new, proud, strong, young woman came up and just relentlessly overpowered me. That just didn’t happen to an Ali Landry. Took me weeks and months to deal with it. Had to get back to the drawing board.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Righetti II (February 14, 2009)
Amanda: “I couldn’t have achieved what I did at welter without beating you.”
Ali: “But I still had it, you know. And then I went and beat Bridget and you back-to-back for the title.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Regan (January 29, 2011)
Amanda: “I still have no idea how that happened. You probably took some of the worst damage of your career against Bridgy. Still managed to eke out a one-point duke.”
Ali: “It’s a veteran thing. Caught you young’uns by surprise.”
“Our third fight felt, I don’t know, weird. I never found my rhythm.”
“Thank God. That was the plan.”
“You fought a good, aggressive counter strategy. Kudos.”
“People just didn’t believe that I could still beat you. Or Bridget. Let alone back-to-back. It was a great moment.”
Link to Fight – Landry/Righetti III (February 20, 2011)
“And the fire was gone after it?”
“I’m not trying to make excuses for my losses. But I got knocked out by Milena Govich. That’s not who I am.”
“Do you follow what’s currently happening at welterweight?”
“I do. All these models. I don’t think most of these chicks would have survived in the league I grew up in. But you’re all letting them run wild, so this is what happened.”
“Kate Upton vs Jennifer Lawrence – who do you think will win?”
“I hope J-Law will pound her rack into oblivion and steal that title!”
“Well, actually, you know, that’s going to be my job, sooner rather than later. Back to tomorrow: will this really be your last fight?”
“Well, that would have to be a pretty huge paycheck to lure me back. Or someone I really hate.”
Amanda: “Thanks for this conversation, Ali. Good luck tomorrow.”
Ali: “You’re going to need it.”
