Post by Boxing World Online on Sept 27, 2018 14:49:52 GMT -6
Our reporter and his blonde companion sit in the Man In The Hat's office at Front Street.
Reporter: "So. J-Mac says there's no 'Elephant Island' in the Arctic..."
Tess (rolling her eyes): "No. What Brainiac actually said was that there was no Elephant Island on 'the continent of the North Pole'..."
Man In The Hat: "Which is always represented at the World Cup by its one and only country, Santaclausland..."
Reporter (laughing): "But, seriously...J-Mac's right about ONE thing, there IS no Elephant Island in the Arctic..."
Tess: "Which is not a continent, since there's no land there, only ice..."
Man In The Hat: "Correct. But, J-Mac, is, as usual, on the wrong side of the freaking WORLD. Since, as you know, my long-planned 'Ice Station Zebra' card is to take place in ANTarctica."
Reporter: "In J-Mac's defense, the MOVIE 'Ice Station Zebra' took place in the Arctic."
Tess: "'In J-Mac's defense'. What is 'Something you'll never hear uttered on an Asylum broadcast', Alex..."
Man In The Hat (laughing): "Correct. But. I want a card in ANTarctica. And I'm using the name 'Ice Station Zebra', because it's a really cool name."
Tess (sighing): "And, the 'Zebra', of course, refers to the military phonetic alphabet designation for the letter 'Z', not ACTUAL zebras. Oh. And 'Zebra' isn't used to designate 'Z' anymore. It was during World War II, but it's 'Zulu' now..."
Man In The Hat: "And, if you tried to explain that to Mac, her head would explode. But. As to Elephant Island, Smackeroo, it exists off the coast of ANTarctica. It was discovered by a Russian ship in 1821, later named 'Elephant Island' because passing ships saw elephant seals on its shores, and never trod upon by human foot until Shackleton's expedition landed there during World War I."
Reporter: "Shackleton?"
Man In The Hat: "British explorer. Trying to get to the South Pole. His ship, 'Endurance', got trapped in the ice and, eventually, crushed. The crew lived on ice floes for months before finally making it, by boat, to Elephant Island. They were the first human beings ever to land there. There was little hope of rescue from 'Elephant Island', though, so Shackleton and some crew members left for South Georgia after a while, leaving the rest of the crew behind. Elephant Island still has no permanent settlement today, mostly because there's no safe place to anchor ships. It's claimed by several countries, and Brazil puts scientists there during summers to do research, but, most of the time, nobody lives on it. So, yeah. I thought about using it. But. It's not REALLY Antarctica. It's actually part of the South Shetland Islands. So. Probably not going to happen. But. You know what IS going to happen? Chef's ribs ARE going to be served tonight..."
Tess: "LET'S GO!"
Reporter: "So. J-Mac says there's no 'Elephant Island' in the Arctic..."
Tess (rolling her eyes): "No. What Brainiac actually said was that there was no Elephant Island on 'the continent of the North Pole'..."
Man In The Hat: "Which is always represented at the World Cup by its one and only country, Santaclausland..."
Reporter (laughing): "But, seriously...J-Mac's right about ONE thing, there IS no Elephant Island in the Arctic..."
Tess: "Which is not a continent, since there's no land there, only ice..."
Man In The Hat: "Correct. But, J-Mac, is, as usual, on the wrong side of the freaking WORLD. Since, as you know, my long-planned 'Ice Station Zebra' card is to take place in ANTarctica."
Reporter: "In J-Mac's defense, the MOVIE 'Ice Station Zebra' took place in the Arctic."
Tess: "'In J-Mac's defense'. What is 'Something you'll never hear uttered on an Asylum broadcast', Alex..."
Man In The Hat (laughing): "Correct. But. I want a card in ANTarctica. And I'm using the name 'Ice Station Zebra', because it's a really cool name."
Tess (sighing): "And, the 'Zebra', of course, refers to the military phonetic alphabet designation for the letter 'Z', not ACTUAL zebras. Oh. And 'Zebra' isn't used to designate 'Z' anymore. It was during World War II, but it's 'Zulu' now..."
Man In The Hat: "And, if you tried to explain that to Mac, her head would explode. But. As to Elephant Island, Smackeroo, it exists off the coast of ANTarctica. It was discovered by a Russian ship in 1821, later named 'Elephant Island' because passing ships saw elephant seals on its shores, and never trod upon by human foot until Shackleton's expedition landed there during World War I."
Reporter: "Shackleton?"
Man In The Hat: "British explorer. Trying to get to the South Pole. His ship, 'Endurance', got trapped in the ice and, eventually, crushed. The crew lived on ice floes for months before finally making it, by boat, to Elephant Island. They were the first human beings ever to land there. There was little hope of rescue from 'Elephant Island', though, so Shackleton and some crew members left for South Georgia after a while, leaving the rest of the crew behind. Elephant Island still has no permanent settlement today, mostly because there's no safe place to anchor ships. It's claimed by several countries, and Brazil puts scientists there during summers to do research, but, most of the time, nobody lives on it. So, yeah. I thought about using it. But. It's not REALLY Antarctica. It's actually part of the South Shetland Islands. So. Probably not going to happen. But. You know what IS going to happen? Chef's ribs ARE going to be served tonight..."
Tess: "LET'S GO!"