CBAD: Leighton Meester vs. Avril Lavigne

Avril Lavigne
(33, 5’2, 128 lbs, 15:8 FCBA, The Dollhouse)
Vs.
Leighton Meester
(32, 5’5, 116 lbs, 25:27 FCBA, Free Agent)

Results: Lookout!; Story: Caspian & The Dollhouse

BEFORE:
An after-dark fight taking place tonight at the Galen Center in LA sponsored by the Dollhouse, and what a fitting venue to welcome an old rival like Leighton Meester, a former colleague of Avril Lavigne at Front Street and leaving the entire audience tonight wondering if the Canadian’s gonna hold her tongue for once when they face off. Imagine everyone’s surprise, however, when it’s Leighton who’s the one smirking confidently once the cameras start rolling, obvious snark in her tone of voice as she talks about her chances tonight:

“I liked having Avril around at Front Street, and I’m really happy for her - she’s been kicking ass since she returned to the ring, and that’s been pretty awesome to see. As for me, I’ve been on a bit of a slump since leaving FS, and I *seriously* need to get back to putting girls on their backs… and it all starts tonight. So, I’m going to keep most of the pleasantries for later. I honestly found it pretty surprising that Avril challenged me. Maybe she thinks I’m an easy target after my last year or so, but if that’s the case, it’s a huge mistake. No offense to Avril, but I’ve beaten bigger and tougher girls. I’ve been near the top of this division and have all the experience I need. Not to mention, three extra inches.” Leighton gives a chuckle and a wink to the camera. “I’m pretty f*cking confident this fight is mine to lose, but I’m not dismissing the possibility of being surprised tonight. Looking forward to seeing what you’ve got, Av.” The brunette ends with a sly smile towards the Dollhouse blonde.

Avril perhaps regretting that she allowed her former stablemate the first turn at the mic. Given her reaction to Leighton’s grating words, she’s squirming uncomfortably in her seat at the start, before responding with some mixed words of her own:

“Okay, here’s the deal: Leighton is pretty damn good in the ring. I know that. All you have to do is look at her career history and see a TON of impressive wins on her record. The only reason I challenged her is cuz I totally respect her and I loved seeing her win when I was at Front Street. She’s good, and that’s exactly why I wanna beat her ass! Haha! And I will! Yea She’s bigger, but it’s…. whatever… I’ve fucked up bigger chicks before. So, yeah. I’m totally going to kick your ass, Leights, but I’ll buy you a beer afterwards!” Avril giggles as she finishes, regaining some of that confidence and cockiness that is her trademark.

A short hour later and both girls are making their way down the ramp to the ring, taking turns striding down one after the other. Avril all smiles in her classic black and pink sports bra with matching tights and gloves, with her hair tied into a high ponytail. Leighton in a black bikini top, short denim shorts and white gloves. The girls meet eachother mid-ring with a friendly smile and a touch gloves, drawing major cheers from the excited attendees - it might very well be Lavigne’s first show of respect to an opponent before they come to blows! Referee equally wide-eyed, especially in this cutthroat industry, expecting less from the princess of Punk herself, but he soon waves his hands for the bell, and HERE we go with ten rounds of Flyweight action!

ROUND 1:
No more pleasantries as the smiles immediately disappear from both girls’ faces. Leighton starts things off by hanging back in her corner and moving sideways instead of forwards. Perhaps it’s because both girls have intimate knowledge of how the other fights, with the taller girl in particular knowing full well how wild and untamed her shorter counterpart can get in the ring. They must have shared plenty of sparring sessions with one another prior, and Avril having some ideas on how to take Leighton out as well, as she flies forward and immediately initiates with a flurry of punches galore to the head and body. Meester semi-expecting this, has her forearms firmly over her head early, but still having a difficult time stopping the punches from landing on her tummy as she tries to weather this sudden hurricane.

Avril, however, relentlessly stalking her, not giving her much room to play with to be honest. She’s betting on the fact that it might be easier to take Leighton out early on in the game, instead of playing the long game with this dangerous brunette. And from the looks of things, she’s succeeding well in her mission! Leighton getting rocked late in the first round by Avril’s relentless aggression, eats couple of stiff hands to the body, which bowl her over with a grunt. Subsequent punches to her nose and lips sting hard as the brunette goes stumbling back all of a sudden! What the holy hell… Avril STILL in her face every step of the way, letting fly even more punches left and right – now scoring MUCH more often, especially now that Leighton’s looking like a lost woman scrambling back on her feet! A step-in from Lavigne and she lets fly a right hook clean to the face... IT CONNECTS! AND DOWN MEESTER GOES!!! IT’S A FIRST ROUND KNOCKDOWN FOR MS LAVIGNE!!

Holy f*ck - did that really just happen!? The crowd’s on their feet in equal disbelief at this magic trick that Avril Lavigne just pulled off! She’s panting hard as she stares down at Leighton’s fallen form in fron of her feet, not quite believing what she just did either. No time or breath to celebrate though as this feat has sapped her strength judging by her heaving chest - she stumbles back to corner, a weak hand in the air as the referee begins the count!

Leighton left flabbergasted on the floor - eyes sparkling wet and mouth opening and closing as she scrambles to get back up... Referee doing the best he can to give this girl some semblance of a chance to recover from humiliation, but it’s still no use! He hits the ten count and Leighton’s barely off her knees! THIS FIGHT IS OVER three minutes after it started, ladies and gentlemen!

Official Decision: Avril Lavigne defeats Leighton Meester via shocking KO1!

AFTER:
Wow, what a fight, and what a finish! Avril making everyone scratch their heads at this outcome tonight: did she REALLY just pull off what she pulled off? Pundits will later try and explain this phenomenon as simple luck or the result of Leighton’s inactivity in the ring, making all these factors congruent to Avril’s dominant win. But f*ck if the Dollhouse starlet cares about what everyone else will say. She quickly regains her energy, a big grin on her face as she strides over to Leighton, who by now has fallen flat onto her back on the canvas, covering her face with both hands in abject shame.

Avril giggling at first, flexing both biceps playfully with a foot planted oh-so-gently on Leighton’s stomach, before taking some pity on her former colleague and reaching down to offer to help her up. Leighton accepting begrudgingly - really not much of an option in her case, ceding to her conqueror’s demands after having her way so easily. Avril shares a brief hug with the disgruntled brunette, before running towards her corner beaming, high fiving the entire Dollhouse crew. Meester is quick to exit the ring and the arena, fighting back tears with each step back up the ramp. This was certainly NOT the outcome she was expecting.

Back in the ring, Avril left to her limelight, laughing and having the time of her life as she enjoys this moment of glory surrounded by reporters:

“I kicked her ass boyz! HELL yeah, I’m feeling on cloud nine and can f*cking take on *anyone* after this win. I’m going to f*ck Jenna Coleman up so hard next week!” Lavigne laughs before she’s asked about Meester again. “We’re definitely still friends, and I’m totally buying her a beer later tonight. She definitely needs it now!” Avril laughing again before exiting the ring to the sound of her own music blasting in the arena and the wild cheers of the crowd.

Can Avril really replicate this performance against the dangerous Jenna Coleman at the end of the month? The Punk Princess seems mighty confident, but only time will tell!