Post by Boxing World Online on Sept 6, 2018 5:29:56 GMT -6
Our reporter and his blonde companion sit in the Man In The Hat's office at Front Street, their backs turned to the desk, watching the big screen on the back wall where "The FCBA Today With Big K" is coming back from its final commercial break.
Kesha: "We're back with our guests Emily Osment and Alison Brie, and, ladies, time to get down to it. Let's talk about this month's Asylum card!"
Emily: "Well, Kesha, we'll get started at flyweight where Carly Chaikin will make her Asylum and FCBA debut against her former 'Suburgatory' co-star, 'The Marin County Marauder', Jane Levy!"
Alison: "And, we'll stay at flyweight next, with Carrie Underwood's return to the Asylum against 'The Five-Tool Player', Kristen Stewart!"
Emily: "Flyweight action will conclude with the Philly return of Lady Gaga, who'll take on 'The Answer', Jennette McCurdy!"
Alison: "Then, we'll move up to bantamweight for the Asylum return of Kendra Wilkinson against 'The Ventura County Volcano', Hunter King!"
Emily: "And, we're going to finish up the card with a pair of welterweight contests. The first will see the Asylum debut of Devon Windsor against 'The Scandinavian Stunner', Antje Utgaard!"
Alison: "And, we'll wrap up with one of the best matchups in the history of Asylum, as the Bazz Fight Club's Bridget Regan makes her Asylum debut against 'Agent 00DDD', Charlotte McKinney!"
Kesha: "That sounds like a great card!"
Emily: "It will be, and tickets won't last..."
Alison: "They'll be on sale on the Front Street website as soon as we leave the air. So, get yours now and join us in Philly or join Jenny O'Dell, Jenny McCarthy, Tess Valmore and Cassie Scerbo on HBO for 'Blonde Ambition At The Asylum!"
With that, the closing music and credits begin to roll and the ladies talk and laugh behind them with their mics potted down. The reporters turn to face the desk, behind which the Man In The Hat is smiling.
Man In The Hat: "How many fights did it take you to figure out the theme, Smackeroo..."
Reporter: "Wilkinson clued me in. Chaikin's been a redhead and blonde and a brunette, but she was a blonde on 'Suburgatory'..."
Tess: "Hair color changes, betrothed. Unless you're a NATURAL blonde like ME..."
Reporter: "Three of your flys in action, Wiz...only Winter taking the month off..."
Man In The Hat: "And she IS taking the month off. Couple of big fights for the kid. Time to recharge the batteries. Good matchups for the others. Chaikin and Levy have been rivals for a long time, had a famous TV catfight that got out of hand in filming. Underwood's been trouble for Front Street before, and she's won her share of fights. We haven't had a flyweight beat Gaga yet. So. Yeah. Good matchups."
Tess: "Wilkinson has caused you trouble before, too."
Man In The Hat (nodding): "Sure has. She'll get physical. So will Hunter. Should be a good fight."
Tess: "How big is Windsor for Utgaard?"
Man In The Hat: "Big. No question. Big."
Reporter: "Regan's been a redhead, blonde, and brunette, too..."
Man In The Hat: "And, in ANY hair color, she's an elite welter. That's going to be one of the best fights we've ever had here, and I can't wait. Oh, and, you know what ELSE no one can wait for? Chef's chicken a la king...especially when he's doing his homemade chocolate cake for dessert..."
Tess: "Let's GO!"
Kesha: "We're back with our guests Emily Osment and Alison Brie, and, ladies, time to get down to it. Let's talk about this month's Asylum card!"
Emily: "Well, Kesha, we'll get started at flyweight where Carly Chaikin will make her Asylum and FCBA debut against her former 'Suburgatory' co-star, 'The Marin County Marauder', Jane Levy!"
Alison: "And, we'll stay at flyweight next, with Carrie Underwood's return to the Asylum against 'The Five-Tool Player', Kristen Stewart!"
Emily: "Flyweight action will conclude with the Philly return of Lady Gaga, who'll take on 'The Answer', Jennette McCurdy!"
Alison: "Then, we'll move up to bantamweight for the Asylum return of Kendra Wilkinson against 'The Ventura County Volcano', Hunter King!"
Emily: "And, we're going to finish up the card with a pair of welterweight contests. The first will see the Asylum debut of Devon Windsor against 'The Scandinavian Stunner', Antje Utgaard!"
Alison: "And, we'll wrap up with one of the best matchups in the history of Asylum, as the Bazz Fight Club's Bridget Regan makes her Asylum debut against 'Agent 00DDD', Charlotte McKinney!"
Kesha: "That sounds like a great card!"
Emily: "It will be, and tickets won't last..."
Alison: "They'll be on sale on the Front Street website as soon as we leave the air. So, get yours now and join us in Philly or join Jenny O'Dell, Jenny McCarthy, Tess Valmore and Cassie Scerbo on HBO for 'Blonde Ambition At The Asylum!"
With that, the closing music and credits begin to roll and the ladies talk and laugh behind them with their mics potted down. The reporters turn to face the desk, behind which the Man In The Hat is smiling.
Man In The Hat: "How many fights did it take you to figure out the theme, Smackeroo..."
Reporter: "Wilkinson clued me in. Chaikin's been a redhead and blonde and a brunette, but she was a blonde on 'Suburgatory'..."
Tess: "Hair color changes, betrothed. Unless you're a NATURAL blonde like ME..."
Reporter: "Three of your flys in action, Wiz...only Winter taking the month off..."
Man In The Hat: "And she IS taking the month off. Couple of big fights for the kid. Time to recharge the batteries. Good matchups for the others. Chaikin and Levy have been rivals for a long time, had a famous TV catfight that got out of hand in filming. Underwood's been trouble for Front Street before, and she's won her share of fights. We haven't had a flyweight beat Gaga yet. So. Yeah. Good matchups."
Tess: "Wilkinson has caused you trouble before, too."
Man In The Hat (nodding): "Sure has. She'll get physical. So will Hunter. Should be a good fight."
Tess: "How big is Windsor for Utgaard?"
Man In The Hat: "Big. No question. Big."
Reporter: "Regan's been a redhead, blonde, and brunette, too..."
Man In The Hat: "And, in ANY hair color, she's an elite welter. That's going to be one of the best fights we've ever had here, and I can't wait. Oh, and, you know what ELSE no one can wait for? Chef's chicken a la king...especially when he's doing his homemade chocolate cake for dessert..."
Tess: "Let's GO!"