CBAD: Avril Lavigne vs. Halsey

Avril Lavigne
(33, 5’2, 128 lbs, 11:7 FCBA, The Dollhouse)
Vs.
Halsey
(23, 5’4, 119 lbs, FCBA Debut, Free Agent)

BEFORE:
Striding out from backstage in her usual black\pink sports bra and tights fight attire, hair up in a high ponytail and a hefty grin, The Punk Princess Avril Lavigne is sounding and looking as though her winning streak never ended as she talks to reporters at ringside:

“I’m not going to talk about my last fight... It's whatever…” Avril addressing her failed fight right out the bat so as to prevent more potential embarrassment from reporters’ probing. “I’m allowed to lose one after winning 10 in a row, OKAY?! And that B*TCH is SO going to pay for what she did to me!” she continues, flipping her blonde hair back for emphasis.

“About Halsey – Tonight is mostly practice for me. Gotta start a new streak, you know!” Avril laughs. “Besides, I’ve got two big fights coming up, so this is a good warm up. It’s Halsey’s first fight ever, so you know… I might just go easy on her. But If she starts getting cocky in there, I’m gonna have to just seriously kick her ass!” the blonde finishes with a giggle before climbing into the ring where she wave to her fans before settling in her corner, where Carmen Electra is already waiting.

Avril’s opponent tonight is the latest sensation on the musical pop scene - Halsey (whose real name is Ashley Nicolette Frangipane). The American is young, fresh, fit and full of energy, everything that Ms Lavigne is purportedly not, according to her. The young singer bursts through the curtains to some very loud cheers with her song “Now or Never” blasting throughout the arena. She’s dressed in a sexy white sports bra with a black trim and black satin knee-length shorts, black gloves completing her look for tonight as she waves in every direction, surly happy to see the huge support she’s getting on her debut. Actually, it seems like Halsey might be the crowd favorite here tonight judging by the amount of noise she’s generating. The 23 year old makes her way to the ring with a light jog before stopping to address reporters at ringside:

“I’m honestly not exactly sure why Avril is always so cocky, considering the fact that she’s not exactly the scariest girl around,” Halsey emphasising with a 'not impressed' face she directs at the Punk Princess watching her from inside the ring . “She loves calling girls ‘creampuffs’, but I gotta say, I think SHE is one of the biggest creampuffs around. I mean, take a look at her and then at me… who would you label as the creampuff tonight? I’m tougher, I’m stronger, I’m faster… all she has on me is a little bit of ring experience, but experience doesn’t help you when you get hit by these…” Halsey flexes her biceps for the cameras and snickers. “Please don’t go easy on me Avril. I don’t want that to be your excuse when I beat your soft ass.”

Another tense battle this is shaping up to be as Halsey enters the ring with both singers staring each other down. They take to mid-ring simultaneously, obviously no touching of gloves when the referee demands it, not after those cutting words flying both ways. Without further ado, the referee signals and here we go with ten rounds of Flyweight action!

ROUND 1:
Aggression and purpose - two words that describe how Halsey is starting things off here. She strides out of her corner and makes a beeline for Lavigne, showing how comfortable she is in this circle with a constant stream of punches directed at Avril’s head and guard, trying to overwhelm her and finish this fight early. Lavigne on the other hand fighting a different battle - after her shock loss last month, that psychological toll on her perhaps too much to bear despite whatever comes out of her mouth to the contrary. Confused blonde seems unprepared for the rookie’s aggression as she lets herself get paraded across the ring for a good majority of the round, with Halsey just racking up points with clear shots to the tummy. Avril grunting, barely biting back, and Halsey’s the one with a raised fist when the bell finally rings, signaling the end of this disaster of an opening round for the Canadian. Avril needs to get her sh*t together… or else...

ROUND 2:
Despite her corner’s lamentations and encouragement, Avril still looking hesitant, playing it defensive. That’s all well and good, but she has to remember that she has very little experience at doing so in the first place. Avril barely counter-punching as Halsey gets in close and bangs a couple of hooks off her forearms and sides. Lavigne used to getting in her opponent’s face and throwing down, but Halsey is the one looking like the veteran in the ring so far, with her constant pressuring and keeping Avril on her toes. Not a redemptive round for Avril if she were hoping for it to be - she once again struggles to get her head in the game and let the chips fall instead. Bell rings and her tummy starting to redden from all that pesky jabbing coming from the rookie, who struts back to her own corner chuckling as though this fight is already completely in her bag. Halsey probably thinking to herself: why didn’t I get into this boxing thing earlier if the fights were all this easy?

ROUND 3:
Avril getting all-out berated by her corner in between rounds now... If the soft approach wasn’t working, Carmen Electra certainly going with the heavy-handed one. Avril growling as she prepares to charge as though it worked. Look of complacency on Halsey’s face as the bell rings and she too strides forward, looking as though one more hook to Avril’s face might very well win her her debut fight. Alas, that right hand misses clear as day, as Avril weaves her torso backwards just in time. Look of surprise on Halsey’s face as it disappears immediately after, Halsey eating a face-full of leather with Lavigne SWIPING left, then sending another right cross straight down the middle of the American’s guard, impacting her on the lips with a UHGGHHH. Halsey in trouble! Deep trouble! Wobbling backwards after finally eating a punch worthy enough to FLOOR any other girl! Avril back in the game, baby! She keeps up the punching for rest of round, sending Halsey backwards and groaning into her corner. The singer still swinging haphazardly, amidst keeping her face protected behind her gloves. It’s the only reason why Avril doesn’t take this round by total shutout. At least now we know that Halsey has her own weaknesses, and Avril just as willing to exploit them, just like her old self in the ring.

ROUND 4:
Here we have Lavigne back in fighting form. She’s sending the blows Halsey’s way early on, lighting up the face and sending her squealing in all directions. Halsey trying to hold her ground and swing, but is more and more overwhelmed by the sheer quantity from Avril, who seems to have found her stride at long last. Canadian taunting her opponent as the two girls take a breather at opposite ends of the ring. Halsey breathing too hard to respond, desperately trying to hide any exposed skin behind those gloves. It’s not looking good for the newcomer, but hell, stranger things have happened in other fights in the long run... Avril needs to capitalise but doesn’t look like she’s in a hurry to do so, continues to pester Halsey top and bottom towards the end of the three minutes. Avril takes this by another wide margin, effectively evening the total score.

ROUND 5:
Avril seems to be in full control now, just moving more precisely and punching with more purpose. Halsey doing her best to hang in there but is struggling to compete against someone with so many more fights already under her belt. Slowly, she’s wilting under the pressure, getting hounded into the ropes, and it’s cue for Avril to simply GO TO TOWN on the newbie, making her eat more lefts and rights to her body, then up high, as Halsey’s buffeted about by a sudden storm. Halsey’s corner about to throw in the towel with their girl not battling back, instead taking a one-sided beating...the ref himself hovering by the side, crouched and ready to wave it off if he finds Halsey in any danger... but there’s no need - Avril delivering a tight hook to the side of the head, sending the singer flying off her feet and down to the ground for the count! KNOCKDOWN for Lavigne, and a long-overdue, well-deserved one if you don’t mind us saying so! Avril panting hard on her way to a neutral corner while the referee is counting Halsey out, but seems like it’s a futile attempt from the rookie: she’s trying to rise back to all fours, but her body collapsing down in a daze. It’s over as the ref hits the 10-count!

Official Decision: Avril Lavigne defeats Halsey via KO5!

AFTER:
“Who’s the creampuff now, b*tch?!” are the first words out of Avril’s mouth after she catches her breath, hurling her remnant rage at the fallen songstress, now that she can’t lay her hands on her physically with the end of this fight.

Referee trying to hold the Dollhouse member back, with her continuing screams of “Don’t mess with me again, rookiiiiiie!” and rolling laughter.

Later, when things have calmed down and medics having swarmed the ring to check that Halsey’s still alive, Avril allowing herself a more relaxed smile on her face, posing for the cameras on every side of the ring with her fallen adversary clearly prone in the background to seal the moment forever. Outside the ring, Avril even tells reporters: “Goddd she’s so lame! And I was totally going easy on her the whole time, did you guys notice??” the blonde trails off with a big laugh.

So much for Avril’s naysayers, who were hoping to see this girl humbled and on a downward spiral after her disappointing loss to Camila Mendes. If anything, however, Avril looks poised to bounce back even stronger, with Halsey just another unfortunate victim on her way to a new streak!