Avril Lavigne versus Natalie Portman

(39, 5’1, 81:34 FCBA, The Dollhouse)

Vs.

Natalie Portman
(42, 5’3, 104:59:2 FCBA, HISC)

Results: Lookout!; Story: Caspian & The Dollhouse

BEFORE:
It’s the first time these two elite Flyweights are squaring off, and the assembled crowds couldn’t be more excited. Avril speaks first from the podium, thinking about why (and how) this clash is the first of its kind: "So… Natalie and I never fought before… I'm not sure why, but I guess today is as good as any time to kick her cougar ass.” She laughs, before continuing. “I'm actually fighting someone older than me today, f*cking finally! I bet she wouldn't be able to keep up. She just lost like what, 3 fights in a row? Including losing to Dafne Keen, a total newbie. Maybe it's time to retire Nat. Cuz today's gonna be another ass kicking with you on the wrong side of it."

For once, Avril’s eye roll has a challenger, with Portman not shying away with her own disdain for the Canadian blonde. "Avril will turn 40 in two months but you wouldn't know it because she's still acting like an unintelligent teenage brat. Imagine my shock. Wouldn't be able to keep up? With you?” Natalie says, shining a spotlight on their only 3-year age gap with a chuckle. “I had the displeasure of watching plenty of your matches and by the looks of things you'll be sucking in air before I break a single sweat. Disrespecting a 12-time flyweight champion like that is you digging your own grave, and It would be my pleasure to bury you in the sand today. I heard you've been kissing tummies lately, and Roberts' is nothing compared to mine. I'm sure you'll enjoy yourself when I smear that smug face of yours all over my abs. Good luck skater girl."

Staredown at the podium shows their size differential, with Portman coming in just barely an inch taller than her counterpart, but it’s more than enough to rub in her haughtiness, especially given the bigger difference in both girls’ accolades. Portman HAS won twelve titles in an already illustrious career, and compare that Avril’s single trophy in her cabinet, and you can’t blame the Consortium starlet from muttering more threats under her breath, whilst the cockier Lavigne is trying to destabilize her foe mentally by getting in her face repeatedly and proving herself an equal counterpart.

Hours later, we’re in the sandy ‘Boiling Point PPV’ ring proper, and ready to go for ten rounds of Flyweight action. Portman’s gone traditional and classy, a white and gold bikini showing off that midriff that’s still toned and defined for her age, black and gold gloves, brown hair braided and looking focused on the job at hand. Across the ring, Avril’s wearing her trademark colors in a sexy pink bikini top and short black tights, blonde hair with pink streaks tied in a high ponytail, leaning back casually in her own corner, waving her pink and black gloves and smiling to her fans.

There’s the referee’s wave of the hand, and HERE WE GO with the opening bell!

ROUND 1:
First round is a whirlwind of action, with the earlier comments during the press conference cutting into both fighters’ psyches even though neither girl would be willing to admit it. The truth is, Avril IS turning 40 soon and will have to decide if she’s gonna stick around and compete with the latest generation of youngbloods who have more hunger and stamina, or ride off into the Cougar sunset. Natalie of course with that same dilemma on her mind, but she too has made no secret about wanting to challenge for another shot at the Flyweight title to make it 13. Well, perhaps getting through a stablemate and former champion and Hall of Famer will get Miss Roberts’ attention. Girls trade punches from afar, though Natalie’s clearly the aggressor here and keeps trying to slip past Avril’s counter-jabs. Lavigne wasn’t expecting her opponent to be so in her face, this early -- usually she’s the one who rushes in to disorient her foes. She eats several strikes to her face but mostly guards well, then tries to stun the consortium starlet back with the odd right hand that sails in from the side and over Portman’s arms, to strike back at the nose and lips. Portman heard growling with frustration at her opponent’s speed and agility, and worse, Avril’s ability to slip in those shots without any room for interception. She’s clearly underestimating the Dollhouse girl and paying for it. Late round and Portman chooses to circumvent those arms entirely and pound away at the blonde’s torso, rocking several punches to Avril’s belly before she’s forced to cover up herself from a wicked one-two combo sent back to the face. So far, it’s an even affair, which is surprising to EVERYONE. Bell rings and half of the pundits thought Avril would be by now lying flat on her back, whilst the other half thought Portman would have at least scored it wide. Instead, it’s a draw on the judges’ scorecards, and both fighters return to their corners scowling uncontrollably.

ROUND 2:
Portman still coming in hot, her pride forcing her to put away this upstart pretender to her throne. The accolades are uneven, and her vast experience undeniable, as she powers through the counter-shots to her face and just keeps crowding inwards, landing several thumping hooks to Avril’s sides to make her wince and groan. Lavigne’s come by leaps and bounds ever since her debut and then making the switch over to the Dollhouse corner, and her body’s definitely better able to withstand more assault compared to just a few years ago. But Portman’s strength lies not just in her experience and power, but her strategic mind and homework studied prior to the fight itself. She knows exactly where to pummel the Canadian blonde, landing stiff blows to the side of her ribs and stomach, blasting the wind from her lungs and leaving her clutching at her side and cursing in the second minute. Lavigne’s strength, the pundits will agree, come with her rage-filled attacks when she gets pissed off. And PISSED OFF she looks in the final minute, returning fire with her own swings that catch Portman across the face or above the temple, whipping her head from side to side and paying her back slightly. Not the best stand to make, and by the sound of the bell, Portman still takes it by a close margin, though the Consortium starlet definitely wishes to be dominating instead.

ROUND 3:
Avril till feeling out her opponent in the opening rounds, staying calm and moving away from the bell, arms up and face focused, but there’s a flicker of worry on her features -- she knows that Portman hasn’t accrued her reputation for no reason, and so she’s staying extra careful as she blocks and parries, before striking back only when it suits her. It works for the first two minutes, with Portman still having trouble breaking down her defenses, instead getting her patterns and movements deconstructed, which allows Avril to weave to the side and plant bigger and bigger blows to her face and chin, at one point staggering the the Consortium starlet slightly and earning a growl from her lips. Portman is slowly realizing that she might need a different strategy if she wants to dominate the action, and begins to also hang back and trade leather with the Doll from a distance, more confident in her ability to read her opponent’s punches. That gambit does pay off, with Portman ALSO able to block and weave when she’s not trying to get in Avril’s face all the time, and she begins to pummel more shots to the tummy after throwing several combos sent up top first, slowly beating the blonde back and earning points in her column once more. Not the best round for either girl by the time the bell rings, but Avril has to be consoled by a close round -- it’s the first time she’s outrightly won one this fight so far -- walking back to her corner shaking her head and pumping an arm tiredly in the air.

ROUND 4:
More body shots come in as Portman seems intent on taking out the Doll’s legs from under her and score a grueling knockdown to demonstrate Avril’s lack of core strength. First minute has Avril groaning and shrieking all over as Portman rams a hook or overhand into her arms first before stepping in close and plunging leather into pockets under and between her arms, rocking her body left and right, and constantly pushing back towards the ropes. Lavigne’s of course, trying to get away, retaliate with shots to her foe’s face to deter her advance, but Portman’s like a bulldog on steroids, just keeps swerving in and packing power shots into her guard, intending to break it apart or force those arms out of the way to pack more leather into tummy. Portman’s corner sees an opening soon enough, after landing a brutal shot to Avril’s side that sees her bent over and gasping for air. But then a follow-up knockout swing to the temple MISSES, with Lavigne getting out of the way almost on instinct! Portman only has a split second to register the return glove sailing in from under -- KAPOW! Avril swings back on pure instinct, ROCKING her head upwards as the uppercut CONNECTS! Natalie’s in trouble just like that, reeling to the side with her eyes squeezed shut, suddenly in defensive mode! AND HERE AVRIL COMES, pushing off the ropes and snarling, landing her own shots left and right of the face and body, just picking the Consortium girl off, before FLOORING her with a step-in right hook across the temple! OUFFF! There Portman goes, her head snapped to the side, the rest of her body spinning in the air before hitting the sand like a sack of bricks!! It’s a clean KNOCKDOWN for Avril Lavigne!!

Referee starts the count, and Avril allows herself a deft smirk and a few choice insults from the neutral corner, goading her fellow Hall of Famer to get back up if she can. Portman looks hurt but at least she’s still alive, shaking her head and wincing as she tests each of her legs and arms on the sand, slowly pushing her way back up. By the count of 7, she’s back on her feet, fully intending to not show her foe any weakness. She nods to the referee that she’s ready to continue, but her gaze is fixed on Lavigne across the ring, glaring with a fierce expression. There’s still two minutes left on the clock, and if Avril’s smart, she won’t blindly charge her foe down, not with six more rounds on the card.

The referee signals for the round to continue and Avril comes in cautious, heeding her corner’s calls to take it slow and easy. Perhaps facing off against an older woman for once means she doesn’t need to keep worrying about her own stamina, and she steps in closer than usual and resumes hounding Portman to her arms and body, at times paying her back with those stiff body shots to get her to lower her arms, before transitioning to facial punches that twist and jolt her head from side to side. To Portman, however, they sting more than hurt, and she can visualize the entire fight slipping away from her if she doesn’t change things about and soon. Last minute and both girls get into mutual clinches, Avril taking a wild swing to the temple again but getting tied up in close quarters, as Portman buys herself time to recuperate whilst enduring snarling taunts in her ear. Not the most professional way to box, but hey, it works, with both girls separating at the bell and exchanging harsh glares before returning to their corners.

ROUND 5:
Bell rings and PORTMAN RUSHES IN, digging deep and taking the fight to Avril yet again! Lavigne barely has time to react before she’s nailed with a series of hooks to the sides of her head, Portman using the element of surprise to land punches willy-nilly to the arms and body, those tummy strikes in particular landing hard and visibly distorting the Doll’s soft midsection, forcing the air from her lungs and leaving her stumbling back and lowering her guard too often. That’s exactly what Portman wants, of course, who then switches fire up high and stuns the Doll repeatedly across the chin and cheek, jolting her face to the side with another powerful hook. Avril, of course, not idle, but losing ground -- she’s taking every opportunity to stick leather back into the American’s face and body, but Portman is running on adrenaline and looks like she’s on a warpath that WILL NOT BE DENIED. She lands another stunning shot across the bow that has Avril blasted into the nearby ropes, looking shattered and her arms struggling to make up their mind: protect her vulnerable chin or go low to prevent her tummy from turning to mush. Portman capitalizes on her hesitancy, throwing feints both high and low to keep the Doll guessing, before pummeling her across the chin or driving her fists into her navel to churn that tummy anyways. Lavigne’s not looking in too hot of a spot, breathing hard and her back still pressed to the ropes, each attempt to get away cut off by a flurry of punches from the eager Consortium girl. Soon, it’s clear that Portman is tightening the noose around the overwhelmed Canadian songstress slowly but surely, at times even toying with the battered blonde with a series of jabs landed to her nose and forehead, whapping her head back with visible glee as Lavigne stumbles about like a confused drunkard and quickly getting cornered as Natalie goads her to where she wants her with her fists.

BUT WAIT! HERE COMES AVRIL! A sudden snarl from the Doll’s lips and she suddenly comes to life, EXPLODING out of the corner swinging, looking to turn the tide and take Portman’s head off! It’s a sudden burst of offense as Avril sends huge Hail-Mary swings flying at Natalie's face out of nowhere -- Portman grunts as several hooks land on her cheek and chin, stunning the 12 time champion and forcing her to go on the defensive for a couple of seconds. Lavigne spies light at the end of the tunnel as she tries to push in and push her foe back, but that exhaustion has mounted from earlier, and the singer quickly runs out of steam, her punches lacking speed and any serious power as the HISC superstar easily deals with the blonde’s feeble counter attack attempts, weaving and blocking before deciding enough is enough. Natalie purposely taking 2 swings to the face just to get up close and personal and DRILL a HUGE HOOK to the blonde’s unprotected belly! SMACK! OUHHHFFFFF! Avril let’s out a loud GROAN as Nat’s black glove sinks into her pale trembling belly flesh with awe inducing power and precision, smacking that soft midsection right above the belly button! Lavigne’s entire body lurching on the spot and folding over in half, the poor Doll immediately sinking to her knees upon impact, her face contorted in pain and shock – the shock of having all the air hammered out of her body by one deadly punch. Lavigne on all fours, eyes wide with panic and trying to suck in air for a few short seconds before she collapses to her side on the sand jolting and shuddering, both hands clutching her body! The punk-princess’ fans can only watch in horror as the anguished blonde proceeds to cough out her gumshield, leaving a trail of spittle on the sand and perhaps signaling she’s had enough and this fight is already over! It’s a return KNOCKDOWN from Natalie Portman, who gives a nod of satisfaction before strutting back to the neutral corner!

The referee is immediately overhead, starting the count, but poor Avril ain’t looking too good, her body twitching and writhing on the sand, both arms still cradling her battered tummy, and worst of all, the Dollhouse superstar not making any attempts to rise from the sand! The official still gives her the benefit of the full ten count, with Portman just observing her handiwork from several feet away, resting her own proud body against the corner post, a wide smirk on her face, nodding each time the number rises. All it took was one good gut-bomb to blast all the fight out of Lavigne and put the Canadian down and out for good as the ref shouts the final “10!” and waves his arms overhead! Avril is done and this fight is OVER!

Official Result: Natalie Portman defeats Avril Lavigne via KO5!

Impressive win for 43 year old Natalie Portman who welcomes soon-to-be cougar Avril Lavigne (Born September 27, 1984) into Cougar territory with an ass-whooping, or should we say – belly whooping, finishing the blonde in style in only 5 rounds with a lethal body blow that has her completely out of commission on the sand.

And it seems like Portman is not done just yet! Removing her gloves, the HISC queen launches herself from her corner, strutting towards the fallen Canadian singer with cruel intent.

Natalie stops right above Avril lying at her feet, towering over her victim as her fans cheer in excitement – they know what’s coming folks! The brunette bends over and grabs Avril by her messy pink stranded blonde ponytail, yanking the defeated singer’s hair to force her to all fours, and dragging her to her own corner of the ring as if bringing home a trophy.

“Move it” Portman commands with Lavigne powerless to resist, the blonde yelping as she barely manages to crawl on all fours before she’s hoisted up by Natalie and shoved roughly against the corner post where she remains slumped, clutching her still aching body.

Portman swiftly swats those tattooed arms away and stares down at Lavigne’s sweaty reddened tummy, assessing the damage with her eyes. “So the rumors were true...” She hisses, poking the singer’s belly with her index finger. “This needs a ton of work...” the brunette chuckles before BURYING her bare knuckled right fist into Avril’s soft tummy, square on the belly button, the fist sinking deep into that trembling paunch and zapping the Canadian of any remaining resistance as the poor blonde lurches forward with a groan, eyes bulging, desperately hugging the brunette for support, her chin coming to a rest on Portman’s shoulder as she tries to suck in some air.

Natalie smirking, supporting the collapsing Doll for a few seconds before finally shoving Avril back first against the corner post once more, grabbing and placing her semi-limp arms over the top rope from either side to support her and keep her from collapsing to the sand.

The HISC queen then proceeds to climb the middle rope, placing one black boot on either side before grabbing Lavigne’s chin and forcing the blonde to look up at her toned abs towering over her. Avril barely has time to stare at that glistening tummy in horror and shake her head “no” in a silent, futile plea before she gets her pretty face BURIED in Natalie’s midriff as the HISC star tummies her for several long moments, moving her pulsating tummy to make sure Lavigne gets to feel and smell every nook and cranny of those sweaty toned abs. The poor blonde too out of it to resist, weakly pawing at Portman’s back to no avail, her muffled cries can only be heard in the very first rows...until they stop.

Soon, Avril goes completely silent. Her arms fall limp, dangling at her sides, with her legs quickly following suit and turning to jelly as the swooning Canadian slides down the corner post and puddles underneath Natalie’s feet, eyes closed and head lolling, before her limp body tilts sideways, collapsing against the ropes, her tummy-sweat drenched head coming to a final rest on the second rope, mouth agape and drooling on the sand. The devastating tummy smother leaves Lavigne completely out cold!

Portman chuckles before jumping off her position on the ropes, towering over the sleeping Canadian singer and surveying her handiwork. “Think twice before ever challenging me again. You’re too soft, punk princess.” Natalie sneers before planting her boot on Avril’s heaving belly for emphasis, taking a few seconds to smile for a victory pose over the unconscious blonde lying in the sand before finally allowing the medics to rush in and attempt to revive her.

A dominant win for Portman as she makes her way out of the ring, but not before she made sure Avril Lavigne and the rest of the league will not underestimate a cougar ever again.