Post by Lookout! Boxing on Jul 27, 2024 1:00:59 GMT -6
Jenny Mccarthy
vs Sarah Shahi
Before: Prefight: Wherever there is a microphone and the FCBA press, there you will find Jenny Mac in all her braying glory: "Well, boys, not gonna be much to write about ... I rule the sand! I've ruled it for the better part of twenty years! (Adrianne Palicki chimes in with "Thirty years!" in an effort to be helpful and gets a withering glare from the Playmate). So they are having this big beach blast and naturally they want me to be the headliner - but you'd think they'd find me a better opponent? Sarah Shahi? Really> This chick is like 5'3"? What is she going to do - fight me on stilts? (laughs from press, scowl from Sarah) So anyway ... I did some checking up on this nobody and guess what I found out? Aahoo Jahansouzshahi! Aahoo Jahansouzshahi! Seriously - that is this chicks' real name! I mean they got me fighting Star Wars characters now? Look, I'm gonna ..."
And presser ends as Sarah has heard ENOUGH and is out of her seat and lungins at McCarthy, held back by security as Jenny sticks her tongue out - pure class, as always - thats our Jenny!
Sarah entering first in red single-strap bikini, matching gloves, signature curls cascading down her back. Jenny in pink with white polka-dots, white gloves, hair loose down her back
R1: Jenny hopping forward and chopping overhand rights - good pressure throughout the first minute - Sarah wisely giving ground, spitting out pre-emptive jabs, using the ring. Midway through - Shahi starts to work inside blonde power punches - dipping in close and low, countering hard to the body as McCarthy misses over top. Sarah times the right, slips under it, comes back a clanging hook on the chops - Jenny nearly sent to her back, stomping sand on her heels all wide eyed and wobbly butt. Mop up last minute Shahi: she stays inside the arc of Mccarthy’s arms, CRANKING that hook across trembling blonde abs - yanking vicious spank out of Jenny's midsection at the bell.
Neve Campbell, ringside in the Front Street section, cupping hands and calling out encouragement to the Persian, "Great round! Stay on the body - she can't take it to the body!"
R2: Jenny rotating left, spearing the jab body and head - keeping Sarah off balance. Shahi patiently working with straight punching combos - placing the right hand on the face, pivoting around the jab, nothing fancy. McCarthy guzzling brunette punches with disdain, coming forward, Sarah rarely able to get off with her feet set - Jenny doing a nice job of moving the fight around the ring, keep the slugger out at range.
Sceej corner- Scrubby McGee "Good round Jenny goil, but yer takin' too damn many hits! Move yer damn head when ya come at her!"
R3: Sarah methodically working in circular fashion. Jenny travelling left as she spices Shahi's body and face hard, stabbing jabs. Sarah weaving in close under McCarthy's overhand rights and working over blonde's right side - snapping hooks bounce off the ribcage or jaw as brunette counters at will. Shahi able to bob when in close, making Jenny miss, then pivoting close to the left - cougars spending a lot of energy, getting touched plenty through 3.
McCarthy breathing hard in corner after only three rounds - fifty years of age will do that to you along with the fact that swinging and missing is one of the most draining things in a boxing ring. Shahi panting a bit on her stool. Enswell deployed around Sarah’s eyes (not ALL those right hands missed) Left side of Jenny's ribcage looking pretty throughly barbecued!
R4: Jenny showing her underated versatility - coming forward but jabbing now, banging back Sarah's forehead and guiding her ropeside. McCarthy able to put punches together - standing up straight with multiple clipping hooks against Shahi's raised guard, then shooting the right hand as she bends forward. Sarah can't get her back off the ropes, but she's blocking a lot of shots, reading Jenny fairly well. Shahi not doing much on offense, but consistently getting her body work done - always fitting something in there as Jenny evens up the cards.
R5: Cougars striding to midring--Sarah dips her torso and spanks that licking hook up across Jenny’s midriff. Mac over the top with an immediate right hand answer, swiveling Shahi’s head--brunette back with a sidearm right across the chops, jerking blonde a step to her right, Back and forth, murderous punching from both women. Girls trade shaving rights, come back with hooks and JENNY’S HURT! McCarthy’s legs accordion at the knee, then she reels straight back, staring blankly as Shahi stomps forward, pitching as she comes! Jenny wraps up, but stampeded to the ropes, loses her grip, SARAH GOES FOR BROKE! Shahi with a sweeping right lands flush on the chin, brushing Mac’s guard aside, leaving the wiry blonde helpless, tilting--Sarah bending her torso right to haul home the left, rolling her torso left to get another right--she’s just ROPING in the punishment. Jenny taking clean across her chops, drooping to her right and MACCARTHY GOES DOWN! Jenny shellshocked, can’t push herself up off that hip—KO5 SARAH SHAHI!!
After: Soon as the ref lets their arms go, Jenny finds her right arm twisted behind her back and her hair yanked back as Sarah takes her on a Walk of Shame! Making sure to bounce Mac’s breasts off all four turnbuckles before bending her blonde forward and kicking her through the ropes! Jenny rolling onto her back only to get straddled by a LEAPING Sarah!
Shahi keeping MacCarthy’s shoulders pinned as she turns herself around, gets comfortable on blonde’s belly and begins to scoot that red-covered rump up towards Jenny’s face! Knees pinning down shoulders, hands splayed to balance and thump that belly if things look to be getting out of hand, Sarah puts Mac in a facesit smother! Jenny's arms flailing and legs bicycling while Sarah lets gravity and her curves do the work of smothering her blonde. When Mac’s struggles finally cut out, Sarah calls “Bring the Bag!” A makeup bag is produced from which she pulls a couple bottles of nail polish. In Dallas Cowboy White she paints "Courtesy of” and in DCC blue she adds “Aahoo Jahansouzshahi!" on Jenny's tummy. When comatose jenny smiles and giggles while she paints, Sarah mugs for crowd "I think she's ticklish?" Having left her mark on Mac in every possible sense of the word, the former flyweight champion raises her hands over her head, takes one more well-deserved bow and scoots off to the shower tent!
vs Sarah Shahi
(Words: O & E / Results: Lookout!)
Before: Prefight: Wherever there is a microphone and the FCBA press, there you will find Jenny Mac in all her braying glory: "Well, boys, not gonna be much to write about ... I rule the sand! I've ruled it for the better part of twenty years! (Adrianne Palicki chimes in with "Thirty years!" in an effort to be helpful and gets a withering glare from the Playmate). So they are having this big beach blast and naturally they want me to be the headliner - but you'd think they'd find me a better opponent? Sarah Shahi? Really> This chick is like 5'3"? What is she going to do - fight me on stilts? (laughs from press, scowl from Sarah) So anyway ... I did some checking up on this nobody and guess what I found out? Aahoo Jahansouzshahi! Aahoo Jahansouzshahi! Seriously - that is this chicks' real name! I mean they got me fighting Star Wars characters now? Look, I'm gonna ..."
And presser ends as Sarah has heard ENOUGH and is out of her seat and lungins at McCarthy, held back by security as Jenny sticks her tongue out - pure class, as always - thats our Jenny!
Sarah entering first in red single-strap bikini, matching gloves, signature curls cascading down her back. Jenny in pink with white polka-dots, white gloves, hair loose down her back
R1: Jenny hopping forward and chopping overhand rights - good pressure throughout the first minute - Sarah wisely giving ground, spitting out pre-emptive jabs, using the ring. Midway through - Shahi starts to work inside blonde power punches - dipping in close and low, countering hard to the body as McCarthy misses over top. Sarah times the right, slips under it, comes back a clanging hook on the chops - Jenny nearly sent to her back, stomping sand on her heels all wide eyed and wobbly butt. Mop up last minute Shahi: she stays inside the arc of Mccarthy’s arms, CRANKING that hook across trembling blonde abs - yanking vicious spank out of Jenny's midsection at the bell.
Neve Campbell, ringside in the Front Street section, cupping hands and calling out encouragement to the Persian, "Great round! Stay on the body - she can't take it to the body!"
R2: Jenny rotating left, spearing the jab body and head - keeping Sarah off balance. Shahi patiently working with straight punching combos - placing the right hand on the face, pivoting around the jab, nothing fancy. McCarthy guzzling brunette punches with disdain, coming forward, Sarah rarely able to get off with her feet set - Jenny doing a nice job of moving the fight around the ring, keep the slugger out at range.
Sceej corner- Scrubby McGee "Good round Jenny goil, but yer takin' too damn many hits! Move yer damn head when ya come at her!"
R3: Sarah methodically working in circular fashion. Jenny travelling left as she spices Shahi's body and face hard, stabbing jabs. Sarah weaving in close under McCarthy's overhand rights and working over blonde's right side - snapping hooks bounce off the ribcage or jaw as brunette counters at will. Shahi able to bob when in close, making Jenny miss, then pivoting close to the left - cougars spending a lot of energy, getting touched plenty through 3.
McCarthy breathing hard in corner after only three rounds - fifty years of age will do that to you along with the fact that swinging and missing is one of the most draining things in a boxing ring. Shahi panting a bit on her stool. Enswell deployed around Sarah’s eyes (not ALL those right hands missed) Left side of Jenny's ribcage looking pretty throughly barbecued!
R4: Jenny showing her underated versatility - coming forward but jabbing now, banging back Sarah's forehead and guiding her ropeside. McCarthy able to put punches together - standing up straight with multiple clipping hooks against Shahi's raised guard, then shooting the right hand as she bends forward. Sarah can't get her back off the ropes, but she's blocking a lot of shots, reading Jenny fairly well. Shahi not doing much on offense, but consistently getting her body work done - always fitting something in there as Jenny evens up the cards.
R5: Cougars striding to midring--Sarah dips her torso and spanks that licking hook up across Jenny’s midriff. Mac over the top with an immediate right hand answer, swiveling Shahi’s head--brunette back with a sidearm right across the chops, jerking blonde a step to her right, Back and forth, murderous punching from both women. Girls trade shaving rights, come back with hooks and JENNY’S HURT! McCarthy’s legs accordion at the knee, then she reels straight back, staring blankly as Shahi stomps forward, pitching as she comes! Jenny wraps up, but stampeded to the ropes, loses her grip, SARAH GOES FOR BROKE! Shahi with a sweeping right lands flush on the chin, brushing Mac’s guard aside, leaving the wiry blonde helpless, tilting--Sarah bending her torso right to haul home the left, rolling her torso left to get another right--she’s just ROPING in the punishment. Jenny taking clean across her chops, drooping to her right and MACCARTHY GOES DOWN! Jenny shellshocked, can’t push herself up off that hip—KO5 SARAH SHAHI!!
After: Soon as the ref lets their arms go, Jenny finds her right arm twisted behind her back and her hair yanked back as Sarah takes her on a Walk of Shame! Making sure to bounce Mac’s breasts off all four turnbuckles before bending her blonde forward and kicking her through the ropes! Jenny rolling onto her back only to get straddled by a LEAPING Sarah!
Shahi keeping MacCarthy’s shoulders pinned as she turns herself around, gets comfortable on blonde’s belly and begins to scoot that red-covered rump up towards Jenny’s face! Knees pinning down shoulders, hands splayed to balance and thump that belly if things look to be getting out of hand, Sarah puts Mac in a facesit smother! Jenny's arms flailing and legs bicycling while Sarah lets gravity and her curves do the work of smothering her blonde. When Mac’s struggles finally cut out, Sarah calls “Bring the Bag!” A makeup bag is produced from which she pulls a couple bottles of nail polish. In Dallas Cowboy White she paints "Courtesy of” and in DCC blue she adds “Aahoo Jahansouzshahi!" on Jenny's tummy. When comatose jenny smiles and giggles while she paints, Sarah mugs for crowd "I think she's ticklish?" Having left her mark on Mac in every possible sense of the word, the former flyweight champion raises her hands over her head, takes one more well-deserved bow and scoots off to the shower tent!
