Amanda Righetti versus Hannah Waddingham

AMANDA RIGHETTI (41 y/o, 5 ft 8, W: 143, L: 37) vs HANNAH WADDINGHAM (49 y/o, 5 ft 11, W: 0, L: 1)

Results: Lookout!, Writing: Bonzo



Before: Hannah Waddingham, the majestic six-foot blonde from “Ted Lasso“, hasn‘t had more than single (debut) fight in the FCBA, but she tells interviewers that‘s not been for a lack of interest in celeb boxing:

“The truth is, most of the girls in the celeb world are afraid of me,“ Hannah croons. “When they stand next to be, shake my hand, during the contract negotiations, that‘s usually the moment you can see their thoughts startin‘ to race around – they flinch and I never hear from them again! And who can blame them – they were in for a mighty whuppin‘ of the butt! That‘s why I truly appreciate Big Rigs doesn‘t shy away from a proper challenge – she‘s one of the greats – but you‘ve been warned, girl! I‘m here to DOMINATE the ring, and I‘m here to dominate you!“

“Hannah‘s a mighty, mighty presence,“ Amanda nods. “But boxing ain‘t about shoving a girl out of balance because you‘re a lil‘ bigger in the shoulders – it‘s about SO much more! I have all the necessary respect for her right hand power, but I‘ll also expose every little weakness of hers, and there‘s plenty of them! I relish the chance to cut another six-footer down to size. This will be a devastating night for Hannah‘s ego, trust me!“


 


Fight: R1: Hannah‘s a regal, striking presence in the ring at 49 – she‘s tall, broad, built in a tautly athletic, muscular way! Her pace, her motions sometimes betray her age, but she‘s still got a lot of lithe, fluid steps – her stance‘s a little flat-footed, as she slowly jiggles forward into balance, stepping into her weight, crashing out the jab! Her boxing game‘s based on that pump, pump of the left hand, and it offers a dose of her tree-trunk strength – that‘s a mighty lot of long-distance thuds that will come Righetti‘s way tonight! Righetti‘s being cautious early – guard‘s ultra tight, shoulders pulled in, chin tucked away low/safe, as she‘s loosely hoppin‘ left, right, tryin‘ to measure Hannah‘s reach, tryin‘ not to present a thuddable front. Not a lot of clean, boxing action, as the girls step n‘ pivot, avoid physical contact – Righetti‘s steppin‘ around cagily, as Hannah‘s tryin‘ to locate her foe, the stun her with the long, big jab!

A minute in, Hannah finally jolts that big shot upside Amanda‘s head, as Righetti‘s tryin‘ to sleek-slip it … stiff, freakish power keeps Righetti numbed on the spot juuuust long enough for the blonde to set up her money shot… there‘s the big-ass right hand, Hannah W! A frazzling power shot to Righetti‘s ear flattens redhead‘s head, pitches her torso to splash around all loosey-goosey, as ‘Manda‘s sturdy thighs wiggle n‘ shake, her eyelashes blinking in battered confusion! Righetti slowly finds her legs back after a delayed reaction … she steps away weakly, hands low, still blinkin‘/tremblin‘ a little … Hannah slowly jiggles her massive frame into forward pursuit!

Oh, Hannah‘s hamfisted power – she‘s clubbin‘, beltin‘ those hard lefts, rights off Righetti‘s head/ribcage, as ‘Manda‘s absorbin‘ the shots stubbornly, rockin‘ back and forth, then retreatin‘ further! Righetti fightin‘ back in spots – short, nip-n‘-tuck lil‘ uppercuts through the middle, wedged right in between Hannah‘s detonating salvos to touch up a bit of the Waddingham tit, ribcage or head! Hannah‘s eyes a fierce grimace, as she‘s sloshin‘, SLOSHIN‘ her fists in those thudding, rising cadences – a first round shock-n‘-awe KO might be her best shot at the upset tonight!

Down the stretch … Righetti‘s using the canvas, slowing Hannah‘s legs, taking some of the big blonde‘s oomph away …. many long jabs miss Amanda‘s hairline, head, ears … Righetti‘s tackin‘ left, right, surprisin‘ Hannah with the odd sidestep, angle … some brusque counter jabs land to Hannah‘s chest, as the redhead turns her foe‘s flanks … Righetti‘s leggy defense stabilizes her front late!

Hannah‘s chest heavin‘ mightily, as she‘s sittin‘ on her stool after puttin‘ it all out in R1 – how‘s her energy storage?

R2: Hannah unfazed: she‘s out lookin‘ fierce, determined, hoppin‘, clappin‘ her gloves – she‘s a mighty presence at mid-ring, her frame broad, wide, toned, left foot out front, right foot back, as she‘s suckin‘ the jab from her shoulder, spearin‘ it forward! Righetti leggy, smooth, alert – she‘s being springy on her feet, right hand at chin, her left mitt dangling loose at the hips, using it to apply touch-ups to Hannah‘s curvy, meaty bulges!

Hannah really be steppin‘ into the zone – long, rigid jabs, followed by big, numbing right hands. But Righetti‘s mostly side-steppin‘ the pressure now – she‘s takin‘ turns, smilin‘ a little at the big blonde‘s troubles to steer her mighty frame back into position. Hannah extends her left arm, cracks a meaty left hook, sees it skid past Righetti‘s right ear … ‘Manda leans back, tucks a right body uppercut under Hannah‘s armpit, rolls to the left … sneaks a short, rigid lefty pump to Hannah‘s ear/skull! Hannah‘s head‘s snapped, a glassy sheen momentarily hazing her eyes – she‘s hurt! Righetti snarls … she slides backward, as Hannah wiggles further forward … Amanda‘s jab taps at Hannah‘s guard, jolts it hard, gets the big blonde‘s mitts to quiver … side-step, Amanda … new angle sees Righetti‘s right hand stampede to Hannah‘s other ear – mighty buttock wiggle, Hannah W!

Righetti still fighting a cagey, shrewd game … she will let Hannah regroup, wiggle back into balance, won‘t tie up, let alone challenge Hannah‘s mighty frame up close just yet … redhead‘s covering a lot of canvas ground, making Hannah move her feet when she‘s trying to stalk, locate, find her … Hannah‘s huffin‘, puffin‘, but can‘t do damage!

Down the stretch … Hannah‘s losing patience, using her physical assets when Righetti‘s looking to dust her off for points … Hannah palms up on the shorter Amanda‘s shoulders/arms, makes her take weight, then pushes off all mighty big-girl … Righetti‘s shoved off balance, blinks/stares at the display of power … bell!

“Clock‘s on Amanda‘s side,“ Hannah‘s corner advises. “Gotta make this about your right hand now!“

R3: Hannah still somewhat lithe, moving well for such a big, big woman – she‘s effectively using her height/reach, drilling long, rangy jabs through the middle, ramming Righetti onto her heels by the sheer, impressive force of her shots! It‘s the follow-up shot that‘s starting to let Hannah down – after the jab, she‘s trying to fit her right hand between Amanda‘s gloves, sneak a swat hook to the side of her head, or land meaty body shots, but while Righetti‘s battered/pressured by the jab work, she‘s mostly able to stay springy/alert on her feet, using head bobs, little hops to the back or side, wide torso dips/slips so she won‘t take more of Hannah‘s freakish power shots!

At mid of round, Hannah‘s engine‘s starting to spit n‘ rumble – she‘s extending/exposing herself on a lot of shots, and Righetti‘s ready to make her pay! ‘Manda‘s not inactive: she‘s stepping fast along the perimeters, hands up to blunt Hannah‘s thumping jab, but she‘s also starting to sneak in the odd, cute counter – it‘s those fittin‘ lil‘ body hooks behind the elbows that slowly prove to be a particularly cruel, effective, menacing way to hurt Hannah! Hannah‘s visibly grimacing, showing a flinch, a beastly snarl, as a lithe, leggy Righetti‘s findin‘ ways to stay unhurt, sneakin‘/slinkin‘ HARD shots to the ribs, tits, tummy …

Down the stretch – Hannah‘s right hand powers through!

Righetti lingers a split second too long once, immediately takes Hannah‘s short, detonating right hand to the ear/skull – Righetti‘s stepping dazedly in fence post holes! Hannah steps her jab against ‘Manda‘s right tit/shoulder, just meatily shovin‘/pushin‘ her girl backward via her power – Hannah hunkers down, takes her weight on Righetti‘s shoulders bullwraps her girl around the upper torso, against the ropes, as Amanda‘s trying to slip/escape past her flanks. Righetti strugglin‘ in the six-footer‘s mighty, constricting grasp – ref‘s break, then it‘s the bell!

“You invited that shot, ‘Manda,“ her corner admonishes. “You were readin‘, slippin‘ her shots so well, and then boom – you just can‘t underestimate this woman for a nanosecond!“

R4: Hannah pressin‘, throwin‘ herself at Righetti early … the big blonde knocks her jabs hard at Amanda‘s guard, then tries to clout a hook ‘round it to find ear/skull … Righetti blocks it, triggers a wide body hook downstairs … rips it cleanly to Hannah‘s tummy/rib with plenty of zip! Hannah sets up all big n‘ beefy in the pocket, cuffing the lefts n‘ rights off Righetti‘s ear/skull, trying to sweep the redhead with power … Righetti‘s rocked into wobbles, but she‘s being sturdy, stays in the booth … suddenly, Righetti slips, hooks Hannah‘s mouth/jaw from short, straight angle … violent head snap, Hannah! Hannah‘s faltered, slowly steppin‘ back weakly, her legs a little slack n‘ stiff – Righetti snarls, takes over in style! ‘Manda‘s jab so educated she‘s sprucing up Hannah‘s face/guard with authority now – quick, lifted shots off the hip rip to the tender spots between Hannah‘s ribs/tits, or short n‘ curt chops to the blonde‘s eyebrows/ears! The big blonde‘s out of whack/balance now … she‘s not setting her hips/feet properly … she‘s just slowly tottering backwards, swinging into most her shots, no longer really punching ‘em!

Mid of round … Righetti‘s on her toes, stepping about fluidly … she‘s walking forward, stepping her jab into Hannah‘s face/tits with harrassing authority … she‘s also wisely steppin‘/slippin‘ away when Hannah‘s tryin‘ to respond, fetchin‘ the long jab or uppercut … Hannah‘s face‘s starting to shine, her eyes a-blinkin‘ in a mixture of hurt n‘ surprise … she‘s puffy-eyed, effectively forced to absorb the steady pump of Righetti‘s jab! Righetti teasin‘ Hannah to swing big now … there‘s some danger involved for Righetti‘s chin/head, but she‘s doing a very sleek, slippery job of avoiding Hannah‘s hammers … and it‘s paying off! More of Amanda‘s thundering right crosses land to Hannah‘s chin/head – there‘s a steady see-saw in her knees/thighs now, as Righetti‘s showing off clean, technically sound power boxing!

Down the stretch … Hannah‘s starting to tire out, as she‘s forced to constantly leg-n‘-step away from Righetti‘s jab, and it‘s draining her energy … she‘s trying to find rest in spots, lowering her hands for the odd moment … big blonde‘s jaw line‘s increasingly hittable for Righetti‘s right hand! There it is – a beautiful right cross! Righetti‘s shot so sturdy, smooth, clean – Hannah‘s clocked! There‘s the mighty knee bend, the leg lock-up, as Hannah‘s in sudden distress … she stumbles backward until her butt‘s hit the rope … Righetti snarls, circles close cautiously, unsure whether Hannah‘s seriously hurt or just playing coy … bell!

“She‘s good,“ Hannah mumbles through her puffy lips during the break – big blonde‘s ego/confidence‘s starting to wilt a little under Righetti‘s sledge hammer …

R5: Hannah‘s out on stiff, tired legs … she‘s flat-footed, digging to the left, to the right with huge, swinging haymakers, slinging desperate hooks for Righetti‘s chin! Righetti bobbin‘ her head on receipt, slippin‘ her torso up n‘ down on sturdy, set hips … she slips a little closer to her foe, left mitt up around her ear, dips in low under Hannah‘s straight left, snaps a short right to the meaty bits of Hannah‘s midriff! And again – thumping right hand to Hannah‘s solar plexus! The big blonde‘s beaten backward in steps, thighs a-tremble, eyelashes a-battin‘ – she‘s hurt! Righetti heartless, cruel about Hannah‘s soft spots now – she‘s fighting off the bigger girl‘s chest, crouching low, sashaying from side to side, as she‘s mauling lefts, rights against Hannah‘s biceps, belly, breasts!

A minute in … Righetti jabbing Hannah‘s eyes a smokescreen, just pumping ‘em in … right cross sneaks to Hannah‘s jawside … big blonde‘s all thighs vibratin‘, lips quiverin‘! Righetti circlin‘ around her prey, lurin‘ her girl forward again – long, stooping jab to tummy … flinch, grimace, falter … right hand cross tags Hannah to the jaw/mouth!

Hannah‘s stiff, upright on the spot – she leans into a left, trying to step Righetti back, but *eats* the rocket right to her mouth in response! Blonde girl stunned, her weight out hovering over her front foot … Righetti snarls, slips-to, stays bobbin‘ … pulps a short (left) body shot right in between Hannah‘s ample jugs … Righetti rises tall, whistles her short left to Hannah‘s stunned jaw … SHE PUTS BIG HANNAH W ON HER BACK!

Hannah jostled violently onto the canvas … she‘s all tingly/helpless with hurt, legs sprawled out, as eyelashes bat tragically … big blonde‘s heart‘s that of a lioness, though … she struggles onto her side, fights herself up to beat the count … she‘s up for a wonky-legged 7! Hannah‘s a tragic, battered sight – she‘s already stepping back weakly, trembling mitts cupped around her ears/temple, reelingly back pedals to the safe ropes! Righetti nods, bats the sturdy jabs to Hannah‘s chest in a ramrod sequence … left shoulder push … right hand to the jaw! Big blonde‘s propped awkwardly against the cables … she occasionally drops her hands, just staring into harm‘s way, then dimly raises ‘em back up … Righetti taggin‘, re-taggin‘ her chin with pumpin‘, pumpin‘ energy until Hannah‘s head‘s only loosely pastin‘ back n‘ forth … the ref wedges in beween the girls, cradles a stunned, helpless Hannah Waddingham to safety, as Righetti slips, turns away, wiggles her curves, shouts in triumph – TKO5 Amanda Righetti!

After: Hannah Waddingham‘s impressive six-footer‘s frame‘s proved dangerous for Amanda Righetti tonight, but only for a moment – across the five rounds, she‘s slowly been taken apart by her younger, yet more experienced foe. “This fight was about using my legs,“ Amanda explains. “Hannah‘s not the kind of girl I can just go maul into the ropes – she‘s too sturdy n‘ stubborn for that! I knew she‘d threw a barrage of right hands at me early, and at welter, that‘s always a little scary – but once I was gettin‘ angles on her with my legs, and usin‘ my jab to soften up that body, I knew my plan would work! Then it was only a matter of time before I could pounce on her! I would have enjoyed a proper KO tonight, but she‘s a big girl with a big heart – so, kudos!“