Tina Louise versus Cheryl Cole (Cougar Title)

Tale of the Tape (Cougar Title):

Tina Louise (11-4-0, 11 KO)
5'7, 43 years old, 34D
Celebrity Wrestling Federation
Cougar Title Holder (1 Defense)

vs.

Cheryl Cole (54-19-0, 54 KO)
5'3, 40 years old
Lioness Club

(Written by Celebrity Wrestling Federation/Results by Lookout!)

Intro:
"AND NOW! Making her 16th appearance in the ring. Please welcome the Victoria, Australia native, standing 5 foot 7, weighing in at 120 pounds, THE CURRENT COUGAR TITLE HOLDER, TINAAAA LOUISSSSEEEEE!!”

Tina was salaciously clad in a pale-white, sheer bikini that clung to her heavy D-cups as if it were painted on her skin. The thin-banded bandeau top did little to contain her massive, overflowing chest; her heaving orbs swelling as though they were fastened with a belt rather than a bikini top given the ample cleavage and underboob. The Aussie’s bronzed, tatted skin glimmered with a light sheen of perspiration; her pixie-cut locks already soaked through and matted with sweat. Heavy, thick eye-liner coated her long lashes; the smoke from her mascara mixing with the flush of her rosy cheeks as she waved to throngs of fans. The biting floss of her string thong bottoms was lost to folds of flesh as it trailed between her plump ass cheeks, grinning ear-to-ear with a toothy smile as she slid lewdly into the ring.

Cole answered with a lighter hand and a touch more class; clad in a leopard-print push-up bra and matching string bikini bottoms. The singer was showing a bit more skin than usual, but even at 40 the Brit looked stunning. Her long, wavy locks were twisted into a tight, braided pony tail; snow white gloves waiting for her in her corner as she gracefully climbed through the ropes.

Louise had been lightning in a bottle for The Federation; already challenging for a JMD belt and bringing home a Cougar Title in little over a year. Much like their workhorse, Katic, the Aussie had gotten started after 40; while her counterpart Cole had accomplished a monumental amount in her career before even hitting said plateau. The British beauty was a BBU Flyweight Champion and sure-fire Hall-of-Famer if she chose to continue the grind to 100 FCBA bouts, but she was on the short end of the measurables battle here tonight. Louise was a horse of a Bantam, and given the nature of the combined divisions competing for the Cougar Title, Cole would need her best.

Round 1:
Kardashian and Chastain had laid the blueprint for Cole, both exposing the occasional glass chin of Louise; but the Aussie was far too aggressive in the opener to give access. The pair whipped around the ring in a dervish for the first two minutes as Tina poured a deluge of fancy rights into Cole’s inviting stature. Cole needed both hands to count the close calls as the fuming Aussie went after her chin from all angles; overhands, winding hooks, uppercuts, all narrowly skirting by as the singer flashed her catty reflexes. A closing flurry near the corner finally saw damage, as Louise bullied Cole across the top rope and lanced a wicked jab-hook-hook-jab into her bobbing upper half; the last STAMPING her lips just before the bell. Cole didn’t dispel any of the worry about her reach disadvantage, but she clearly had her dancing shoes. Louise, 10-9.

Round 2/3:
Cole’s punching power was never a question, but rather her ability (or inability) to tunnel through Louise’s gangly length to unleash her brand of hell. In the second, Cole put the Champ’s feet to the flames. It began much like the opener, with Cheryl ducking an elastic overhand, then a scything left-right; the Aussie finally slowing as Cole lifted a PUNISHING side-hook into Louise’s exposed rib cage. Tina gagged as her side caved in around Cole’s right; wincing as a left sliced through her blind spot and PUMPED her perky rack. Louise squelched as her sternum was jolted with a suffocating defibrillator, sagging forward and pulling behind her hands as Cole looked to tear apart her midsection.

Louise’s tight abdomen crunched with rolls of flesh as a lightning tap-tap pierced her navel, alternating hooks slamming and sloshing her hanging rack; the model’s hands finally weighing just enough for Cole to crane sideways and CUT a left hook across her exposed cheek. Louise was thrown into the ropes in the last thirty seconds; Cole poking and prodding with shouldered rights to the eye, cheek, temple, heart, chin. Louise’s scrunched frame sagged to Cole’s height as the round finally expired; the singer EMPHATICALLY answering any questions as to whether she could manipulate her way inside Louise’s oppressive reach.

The third was a much needed curveball from Louise, as the towering Aussie slowed her firecracker opponent with a commanding game of cat and mouse. Cole knew better than to blindly walk into Tina’s length, but the crafty Aussie continued to put out bait and hope for a nibble; all the while keeping her elastic right hand cocked and ready. It was a glacially-paced third, but Cole conceded the round in hopes of winning the war. After a 10-8 Cole shellacking, Tina levels the fight with her second 10-9 round.

Round 4/5:
Despite Louise eking out a narrow scorecard victory in the third, Cole’s confidence was growing dangerously unchecked. The feisty Brit increasingly felt as though she were holding the reins, using her skittish movement in the first minute to facilitate a few graceless swings and misses from the frustrated Aussie. Louise curled up behind her gloves and chased in, lassoing another reckless right over Cole’s head just as the brunette THUMPED a wicked left-right off Tina’s curvy waistline. The pixie-haired blonde hoarsely mewled as her hips rocked between the Brit’s fists; her next gulp for air getting caught in her throat as Cheryl side-stepped and SPIKED a straight jab through her solar-plexus. Louise’s jaw hit the floor as her lower stems buckled, floundering hip-first into the near corner as a hand rushed to cover her pulsing sternum.

Cole crashed in like an unforgiving tide as Louise drifted into deeper waters, RIPPING through her teetering upper half and gouging out her flotation devices. A suffocating hook-cross pulsed Louise’s bust, an uppercut scooping out her slender navel; the blonde wailing before an overhand STUFFED down her throat and sent her sprawling over the top rope. Louise’s clingy bandeau top was a catastrophe waiting to happen, riding up toward her clavicles as Cole slid to the side and POUNDED one, two, three… six, SEVEN merciless hammers across her tear-dropping bust; the last few causing her D-cups to spill out the bottom of her belted top. Cole’s drumming slowed in the last thirty seconds to a more methodical pace; slicing through the Aussie’s fractured defenses with purpose and LANCING her wobbly chin as she hung on to the ropes.

Louise struggled through the intermission and equally so in the fifth, answerless as the British jitterbug opposite her refused to slow down or stand still. Cole relentlessly harassed the mostly stationary Aussie, flattening her poor bust thanks to its convenient punching level. Cole FLIES out to a lead thanks to back-to-back 10-8 and 10-9 rounds.

Round 6:
Louise had only gone beyond the sixth twice in her fifteen fights, and the wobble in her step certainly seemed to point to another early finish. Cole could taste the Aussie’s resignation; Tina’s bandeau-belted chest frenetically rising and falling with violent pants despite the break between rounds. Still, Louise drank in her corner’s instruction, engaged despite the pounding she’d taken the last few rounds.

Cole was already waiting center-ring as Louise lifted off her stool; her spine hunched to the point she was nearly the Brit’s height as they offered a quick glove tap. Cole was first in with a FEROCIOUS left-right-uppercut; just skimming Louise’s cheek with the first, then coming up shy of her swelling bust with the last. Louise darted a token left jab against the Brit’s button nose to keep Cole honest, but the singer was fearless off the back of her recent forays; rushing the net to serve and volley and attempting to crash into Louise with an overhand right. Lost in the shuffle as Cole pushed forward was a bony CRUNCH; Louise balletically sliding to her heels and scraping a hip-to-chin uppercut through the Brit’s jaw. Cole’s bulbs instantly glossed over, taking an awkward misstep as she was caught on the button by Tina’s right fist. Louise’s towering frame was buoyed by her wicked right connecting, coming over the top with a left that rattled off Cheryl’s forehead. Cole now found herself on her heels as the previously dormant Aussie vented flames as she flurried; slicing a left off Cole’s lips, then stamping a right against her flushed cheek. Louise walked Cole down, hook-jab-cross-hook; the Brit’s skull snapping straight back as each rattled off her mystified face. The ropes bowed as Cole’s spine finally hit rubber; Louise catching her on the rebound with a FEROCIOUS screwdriver uppercut that wired her jaw shut and sent the Brit spilling messily to her backside.

1… 2… 3… 4… Cole floundered to her hip with a single arm propping her up, trying to redistribute her weight but instead fumbling over her propped left arm and collapsing face-first. The woozy Brit wormed her way completely prostrate on her belly, her eyes glazing over as she stared expressionless at the floor.

5… 6… 7… The ring quaked as Louise leapt into the arms of her corner, Cole slowly sprawling out spread-eagle as it became increasingly apparent she was completely lost.

8… 9… 10!! SHE’S OUT!

"And your winner, by KO in Round 6, AND STILLLLLL THE COUGAR TITLE HOLDER, TINA LOUUUUUIIISSSEEEE!!!!"