Post by Lookout! Boxing on Dec 30, 2023 2:32:56 GMT -6
Tale of the Tape:
Stana Katic (40-9-0, 40 KO)
5'9, 45 years old
Celebrity Wrestling Federation
Former FCBA Lightweight Title Holder
Former Jaguar Title Holder (6 Defenses)
vs.
Rihanna (8-14-0, 8 KO)
5’8, 35 years old
Beever’s Babes
(Written by Celebrity Wrestling Federation/Results by Lookout!)
Intro:
"AND NOW! Making her 50th appearance in the ring, fighting under the Celebrity Wrestling Federation flag, the former FCBA Lightweight Title Holder. Please welcome the Hamilton, Ontario native, standing 5 foot 9, weighing in at 125 pounds, STANAAAAA KAAAAAATIC!!”
Outfits:
Katic's lithe, statuesque frame glistened under the heat of the overhead spotlights as she slid out of her satin robe and revealed every taut, delicate curve of her bronzed skin. Each athletic twist and shimmy of her upper half caused her modest bosom to swell, her teardropping B-cups mushrooming out the top and bottom of the thin-banded tube top belted around her sternum. Katic craned her long stems and dipped into a lewd crouching split, limbering in her corner to some last minute instruction from her corner. Her pale-white string thong was devoured by folds of flesh, finally rising and rearranging the twined, biting string bottoms by hiking them high up her hips. Ending her corner show, the brunette arched her rib cage and pressed to her tippy toes against the ropes, throwing her tightly-braided pony tail over her shoulder before pumping her gloved fists together.
Rihanna made as theatric and choreographed an entrance as one would expect from the Princess of Pop; her own theme music blaring as she made a grand return to the FCBA. Clad in a neon pink push-up bra, RiRi paraded through throngs of fans with arms wide open for their adulation. Her diamond-studded bra blended seamlessly with a sparkling set of body-jewelry; her entire abdomen glistening as she sauntered ringside and slid through the ropes. Matching silver bikini bottoms had been devoured into a cheeky thong; her lascivious display leading right up until she was gloved and the bell rang.
Round 1:
Having just had a historical run to take the Unified Lightweight Title come crashing down while defending against Taylor Swift, Katic looked for a smidge of revenge against the next best pop superstar on the grid.
RiRi was sharper than expected; her extra curves providing a buffer for some of the lanky brunette’s snap as she left her
midriff exposed in favor of protecting her temples. Along with plenty of bark, the superstar singer also had some bite; lassoing Katic in the last minute and chugging through the older brunette’s delicate ribs and sideboob with a worrying array of fleshy sidehooks as they tangled against the ropes. Katic quickly un-docked from their awkward clinch and sliced a parting left across Fenty’s lips; bloodying the sneering brunette and stealing the round late despite Ri’s efforts to close. Katic narrowly out-paces a game Rihanna, 10-9.
Round 2/3:
After a gridlocked second, Rihanna’s hands started to flow much more freely; opening the third with a jaw-dropping shoulder-shimmy parry that exposed Katic for a thumping heart-punch. Stana gutturally mewled as her rack was flattened by the brutal hammer, wobbling back half a step and feigning an overhand in her retreat to keep Fenty from following.
RiRi wasn’t buying; charging through the would-be right hand and carving one-two-three gutting hooks into Katic’s concaving midsection. Stana’s squealed as three straight rights tore through her hip and ribs; wincing as her graceless retreat redirected the final blow square into her sternum. The brunette’s eyes widened as her deflated abdomen swelled with a sputtering breath; looping an armpit over the ropes as she slunk into the corner post. Fenty shuttled forward with the composure of a stalking predator; looping repeated overhands through Stana’s forearms to rock her cheek and temple. Katic’s shaking walls held for the last twenty seconds; nearly taking a seat as she was shelled past the bell.
Fenty stuns with back-to-back sharp rounds, leaping the former Champion and darting out front; 10-9 and 10-8.
Round 4/5:
Despite being ten years her senior, Katic’s moxie and stamina was nearly unparalleled at her age. After going eight rounds with Lipa and nine with Swift, a third round swell was barely a speed-bump for the brunette. A quick showering with the corner sponge, and Katic was back to life; leaping off her stool and down a back-footed Fenty’s throat. The first sixty seconds saw just as many punches thrown; all by the former Champion as she pushed Rihanna off her center-mark and bludgeoned her into the ropes. Hook to the gut, straight left to the tits, a pair of scissor-hooks off the temple; all punctuated by a suffocating uppercut that sliced through the singer’s pierced navel and left her staring at the floor. Rihanna’s plump behind jut through the ropes as her spine bowed against them; gagging as Katic’s pace slowed to pick and choose chunks of flesh more judiciously.
Katic spiked a savage overhand against Fenty’s eye-socket as she sagged lower, her stems noodling before she charged forward in shrieking desperation. Katic shuffled straight back on her toes, caught completely off-guard as Rihanna scooped the backs of her slender thighs and churned off the ropes. The official was quick to break up the takedown attempt, but it was enough for Rihanna to wiggle off the hook and limp to the bell herself. Katic kept the same pressure in the fifth, but never found another knee-wobbler. Fenty stabilizes before disaster, but Katic edges back into the lead with a 10-8 fourth and 10-9 fifth.
Round 6:
As the sixth kicks off, we jump down to CWF’s own Natascha McElhone and Stanford Steve for the call.
Stanford Steve: “Welcome in to a little trial run here with my partner, Tash”.
Natascha McElhone: “Boss. Your boss”.
Stanford Steve: “The best boss you could ask for! We’re here to call this swing sixth round. Lot to like from Katic after a bit of an avalanche from RiRi early. I don’t care what the records say, Rihanna can SCRAP. To no one’s surprise”.
Natascha McElhone: “That’s why we brought her in. It can’t all be former Champions or bottom-feeders. There’s plenty of room in the FCBA for girls who fall in the sweet spot right in the middle. It’s funny, Tractorpull magazine will eviscerate a girl’s resume one day, then schedule her for Charlize Theron the next. Isn’t it TP that pushes for wrestlers to be banned? Or at least discounts them at every turn? Yet Charlize just faced Nikki Bella, who I LOVE by the way. Then he disparages one of the greatest performers of this generation in Rihanna, yet her last win was over Charlize. If you can beat Theron, you can plain fight. That grouch needs to learn how to shut the hell up sometimes”.
Stanford Steve: “It’s pronounced ‘Grinch’ and if you talk about him at Christmas, he steals your presents”.
Natascha McElhone: “Idiot”.
Stanford Steve: “Not to push you off your soapbox, but we got a bell, Tash! Rihanna storms in with a venomous right to the cheek off the opening foray; left-left-SWEEPING right and Katic’s in shark-infested waters! The brunette finds her footing with a peppering of jabs while she hits the treadmill in a backpedal; nothing much behind them. Love taps. Fenty starting to dance, those feet are shuffling!”
Natascha McElhone: “Match the pace, match! Chin up!”
Stanford Steve: “Lose the headset if you’re gonna coach from here, Tash. Katic is losing ground, sweltering hooks to the tummy and tits. METEORIC left, that thing had contrails from Rihanna. Katic slack-jawed and dripping, she’s cut. Pirouettes into the ropes, she’s in deep trouble now, bicycling to steady those gams. We just got a flash of those hazel peepers, Stana is lost! Fenty swarming now, absolutely shoveling hooks into Katic’s rack, that bandeau top is about to bust! How’d you squeeze her into that thing anyways, Tash?”
Natascha McElhone: “Thirty, thirty seconds!! DIG!”
Stanford Steve: “Katic’s just about sunk to a knee here in the corner, more hooks chugged into her bust and chin, a mist of sweat coating the table off that last ferocious shot to the cheek! Does she still have her mouthpiece?! Rihanna lifts Katic’s turtle shell with a scoop-hook to the solar-plexus, she’s drowning!! A sickening gag is echoed over out by more fleshy drumming; hook, hook, then a CRUNCHY hammer to the ribs. BELL! The bell saves Katic! To all fours just seconds after, with Fenty barking up her heel all the way back to neutral. Katic’s gone fetal, she’s gasping, not good Tash. Hot damn, I need a breather. Back upstairs…”
Round 7:
Katic stumbles to a slouched seat between rounds; the entire left side of her temple caked with blood and matted auburn locks as crimson trails from her eye-socket to her jaw. She nods along to her corner as McElhone jumps back in for instruction, with Rihanna having not stopped barking from her side of the ring the entire duration of the break.
The former Champion is first off her stool as Rihanna saunters into a loaded left, swirling over the actress’ ducking shoulder and leaving herself open for a stumpy retort stuffed through her belly. Katic bisects Rihanna’s waistline with a slick side-hook, then zippers three straight lefts up her side. Fenty huffs in frustration and wallops Katic’s rack with an audacious overhand, skidding the floundering brunette into the corner as Katic goes to cover her pulsing chest and fill her deflated lungs with some desperate pants. Rihanna prowls closer, hunched over but seemingly not yet gassed as she scissors two loaded, sweeping jabs over Stana’s head.
Suddenly a throaty; “GRRROHHH” explodes out, Rihanna’s ass jutting straight back as Stana scythes a breathtaking screwdriver uppercut below her ribs. Rihanna lurches sideways, grumbling before another venomous one-two cuts through cartilage. Stana postures as Rihanna shuffles away with both arms wrapped around her gut; coiling a right hand behind her back and LASHING through the singer’s trembling chin. Rihanna’s skull swivels on her shoulders, hoarsely wailing as she’s flung to the canvas in a twisted heap.
1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6… Rihanna lulls to her side just enough to squeak an arm out from beneath her frame, her upturned ass jiggling with the spring of the canvas as Katic throws an exhausted right hand above her head. The felled singer pedals her toes against the mat in an attempt to find traction, her curvy abdomen swelling with sharp, exasperated pants as she grumbles face-down.
7… 8… 9… Her arms plant for a final push-up, elbows locking as her biceps shake and give out with a breathless exhale. Her heavy rack mushrooms out from beneath her sternum as a resigned breath eeks from her lips, sulking fully prone as the count hits ‘10!!’
"And your winner, by KO in Round 7, STANNNAAAAA KAAAATTIC!!!!”