Joanne Kelly vs Charlize Theron
Nov 15, 2023 8:35:28 GMT -6
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Post by Tractorpull on Nov 15, 2023 8:35:28 GMT -6
Joanne Kelly vs Charlize Theron
Results: Lookout: Story Tractorpull
Tale of the Tape
Joanne Kelly
Age 45
Height 5’9”
8-16-0
Charlize Theron
Age 48
Height 5’9 1/2”
329-127-12
2 Universal Featherweight Titles 1999. 1999 Titles are not recognized as official
1 MTV 116 Lbs Title 1999
1 Playboy Title. 1999
1Nike 122 Lbs Title 1999
1 Studio Lightweight Title 1999
8 Unified Lightweight Titles
7 Unified Welterweight Titles
1 Unified Middleweight Title
3 Maxim Lightweight Titles
2 Paramount Lightweight Titles\
1 Reebox Lightweight Title
2 Reebox Welterweight Titles
2 Paramount Welterweight Titles
Mistress of the Body Saddle 1/26/08-1/11/15
Original Member of the Hall of Fame
Recognized as the Greatest of all Time (GOAT)
BEFORE
Joanne is at the podium. Charlize as usual is in her trailer about 50 yards from the beach ring watching Joanne of the TV. Joanne “A couple months ago I called Charlize and asked if I could have one more fight. She said she didn’t know why I would want another fight. She said she had KOed me twice, the last time was about this time last year. I told her I just wanted one more chance to beat her, after all I have beaten Missy Peregrym, who is in the Hall of Fame, three times. I told her win or lose I wouldn’t bother her again. She said OK, . Tess Valmore slammed Charlize recently for taking “easy fights or not facing the top fighters of today. She seems to forget those figures are fifteen to twenty five years younger. Well you can bet with no fear of losing, she will call this an easy fight. She says that even if she is a good friend of Charlize” We are fighting on the beach, Charlize is fond of beach fighting. Her record is amazing. That favors her, but I had to agree for beach fight to get this bout. In her trailer, Charlize says “let go” and Charlize and her corner head down the sand path between the bleachers to the ring’
THE FIGHT
Joanne is in the ring wearing a dark blue bikini with black gloves and boots. Her hair is hanging loosely around her shoulders. Charlize enters the ring, doffs her black robe to reveal her usual red bikini with red gloves and boots. Her blonde hair is in a pony tail They meet in the center of the ring for instructions that Theron has heard 468 times. They touch gloves and head to their corners to await the opening bell.
Round 1. At the bell, both head to the center of the ring. For once Charlize doesn’t get in the first punch. Joanne lands an overhand right to Charlize’s forehead and follows with a right cross and then a left. Charlize takes a couple steps back to regroup and then comes forward after Joanne. Joanne doesn’t hesitate and moves in to meet Charlize. The engage in a brief flurry of left and right crosses and then break it off circling each other looking for an opening. Charlize moves in on Joanne. Her right hand barely misses Joanne’s chin but Joanne’s left hook doesn’t miss Charlize’s chin. Charlize isn’t hurt but closes on Joanne as the round ends. In Theron’s corner Kate Upton tells Charlize she lost the round by long shot. She needs to get real.
Round 2. At the bell, Theron is quickly out of her corner. She is not going to lose two straight rounds. She catches Kelly not to far from the ropes on Kelly’s side of the ring. Theron lands a right cross, then a left hook and another right cross. Kelly manages to pound to rights into Theron’s midsection. Charlize catches Joanne with a right to the head, Joanne responds with a right cross to Theron head and moves away, Charlize follows, landing a couple more crosses to Joanne’s head. Joanne goes back to Theron’s body. She wants to slow down those legs. Charlize takes a couple to her midsection and the staggers Joanne with anther right cross. She follows up with another right-left-right driving Joanne to the ropes. Joanne misses with a left cross and is staggered again by a right uppercut. Joanne is in trouble, but she manages to clinch with Charlizes and holds of till the referee manages to separate them, Charlize is after Joanne, but the bell rings before Theron and get into punching range, In Theron’s corner Upton just comments “Much better now try to finish her and we can go home”
Round 3. Charlize is out to finish but Joanne has other plans. She moves parallel to the ropes. She going to try to make Theron chase her. After a minute she lets Charlize close and then beats her to punch with a hard right to the chin knocking Charlize back on her heals. Unfortunately the follow up left misses allowing Charlize to regain balance. The two go toe to toe going for each other’s head. They finally break it off with no serious damage done to either. Charlize goes after Joanne. She going to end it now. She closes and cuts loose with a round house fight that sails wildly by Joanne’s chin. Charlize is a little off balance when Joanne goes to Theron’s bra with a right and left cross followed by a right uppercut that almost drives Charlize’s right breast out of it’s cup. Theron is hurt and staggers away. She need to regroup and fortunately the bell sounds giving her the time she needs.
Round 4. Charlize is still upset with the chest attack. Kelly is going to pay and pay in spades. Joanne is well aware of Charlize’s anger. She can see it her eyes, but she will handle it. She goes straight at Charlize. She going to take the play away from her opponent. She lands an overhand right to Charlize head, but a Theron left hook hurts her. She steps forward to trade punches and eats a right hook, then a left cross buckles her knees and a right upper cut drops her. She’s on her back as the refers starts the count.
Joanne gets to her knees at the count of six but can’t any further and she is still on her knees at the count of ten
Charlize Theron knocks Joanne Kelly in the fifth
AFTER: “I want to thank Charlize for giving me the fight I wanted although I didn’t get the result I wanted. I promised Charlize I wouldn’t bother again and I will keep that promise, The next time I see Charlize fight I will be in the audience.” Charlize speaks up “My friend Tess thinks I have been having easy fights. She needs to step into the ring and take some of the punishment I took tonight and she will change her mind. Joanne is not an easy fighter. Some say there is no such thing as an easy fight and I have to agree with it. Lord knows how many times I have been upset, just tonight wasn’t one of them
Results: Lookout: Story Tractorpull
Tale of the Tape
Joanne Kelly
Age 45
Height 5’9”
8-16-0
Charlize Theron
Age 48
Height 5’9 1/2”
329-127-12
2 Universal Featherweight Titles 1999. 1999 Titles are not recognized as official
1 MTV 116 Lbs Title 1999
1 Playboy Title. 1999
1Nike 122 Lbs Title 1999
1 Studio Lightweight Title 1999
8 Unified Lightweight Titles
7 Unified Welterweight Titles
1 Unified Middleweight Title
3 Maxim Lightweight Titles
2 Paramount Lightweight Titles\
1 Reebox Lightweight Title
2 Reebox Welterweight Titles
2 Paramount Welterweight Titles
Mistress of the Body Saddle 1/26/08-1/11/15
Original Member of the Hall of Fame
Recognized as the Greatest of all Time (GOAT)
BEFORE
Joanne is at the podium. Charlize as usual is in her trailer about 50 yards from the beach ring watching Joanne of the TV. Joanne “A couple months ago I called Charlize and asked if I could have one more fight. She said she didn’t know why I would want another fight. She said she had KOed me twice, the last time was about this time last year. I told her I just wanted one more chance to beat her, after all I have beaten Missy Peregrym, who is in the Hall of Fame, three times. I told her win or lose I wouldn’t bother her again. She said OK, . Tess Valmore slammed Charlize recently for taking “easy fights or not facing the top fighters of today. She seems to forget those figures are fifteen to twenty five years younger. Well you can bet with no fear of losing, she will call this an easy fight. She says that even if she is a good friend of Charlize” We are fighting on the beach, Charlize is fond of beach fighting. Her record is amazing. That favors her, but I had to agree for beach fight to get this bout. In her trailer, Charlize says “let go” and Charlize and her corner head down the sand path between the bleachers to the ring’
THE FIGHT
Joanne is in the ring wearing a dark blue bikini with black gloves and boots. Her hair is hanging loosely around her shoulders. Charlize enters the ring, doffs her black robe to reveal her usual red bikini with red gloves and boots. Her blonde hair is in a pony tail They meet in the center of the ring for instructions that Theron has heard 468 times. They touch gloves and head to their corners to await the opening bell.
Round 1. At the bell, both head to the center of the ring. For once Charlize doesn’t get in the first punch. Joanne lands an overhand right to Charlize’s forehead and follows with a right cross and then a left. Charlize takes a couple steps back to regroup and then comes forward after Joanne. Joanne doesn’t hesitate and moves in to meet Charlize. The engage in a brief flurry of left and right crosses and then break it off circling each other looking for an opening. Charlize moves in on Joanne. Her right hand barely misses Joanne’s chin but Joanne’s left hook doesn’t miss Charlize’s chin. Charlize isn’t hurt but closes on Joanne as the round ends. In Theron’s corner Kate Upton tells Charlize she lost the round by long shot. She needs to get real.
Round 2. At the bell, Theron is quickly out of her corner. She is not going to lose two straight rounds. She catches Kelly not to far from the ropes on Kelly’s side of the ring. Theron lands a right cross, then a left hook and another right cross. Kelly manages to pound to rights into Theron’s midsection. Charlize catches Joanne with a right to the head, Joanne responds with a right cross to Theron head and moves away, Charlize follows, landing a couple more crosses to Joanne’s head. Joanne goes back to Theron’s body. She wants to slow down those legs. Charlize takes a couple to her midsection and the staggers Joanne with anther right cross. She follows up with another right-left-right driving Joanne to the ropes. Joanne misses with a left cross and is staggered again by a right uppercut. Joanne is in trouble, but she manages to clinch with Charlizes and holds of till the referee manages to separate them, Charlize is after Joanne, but the bell rings before Theron and get into punching range, In Theron’s corner Upton just comments “Much better now try to finish her and we can go home”
Round 3. Charlize is out to finish but Joanne has other plans. She moves parallel to the ropes. She going to try to make Theron chase her. After a minute she lets Charlize close and then beats her to punch with a hard right to the chin knocking Charlize back on her heals. Unfortunately the follow up left misses allowing Charlize to regain balance. The two go toe to toe going for each other’s head. They finally break it off with no serious damage done to either. Charlize goes after Joanne. She going to end it now. She closes and cuts loose with a round house fight that sails wildly by Joanne’s chin. Charlize is a little off balance when Joanne goes to Theron’s bra with a right and left cross followed by a right uppercut that almost drives Charlize’s right breast out of it’s cup. Theron is hurt and staggers away. She need to regroup and fortunately the bell sounds giving her the time she needs.
Round 4. Charlize is still upset with the chest attack. Kelly is going to pay and pay in spades. Joanne is well aware of Charlize’s anger. She can see it her eyes, but she will handle it. She goes straight at Charlize. She going to take the play away from her opponent. She lands an overhand right to Charlize head, but a Theron left hook hurts her. She steps forward to trade punches and eats a right hook, then a left cross buckles her knees and a right upper cut drops her. She’s on her back as the refers starts the count.
Joanne gets to her knees at the count of six but can’t any further and she is still on her knees at the count of ten
Charlize Theron knocks Joanne Kelly in the fifth
AFTER: “I want to thank Charlize for giving me the fight I wanted although I didn’t get the result I wanted. I promised Charlize I wouldn’t bother again and I will keep that promise, The next time I see Charlize fight I will be in the audience.” Charlize speaks up “My friend Tess thinks I have been having easy fights. She needs to step into the ring and take some of the punishment I took tonight and she will change her mind. Joanne is not an easy fighter. Some say there is no such thing as an easy fight and I have to agree with it. Lord knows how many times I have been upset, just tonight wasn’t one of them