CWF Presents: The Hook (Ep. 4)
Nov 1, 2023 19:30:41 GMT -6
girlsfriday, Lookout! Boxing, and 1 more like this
Post by Celebrity Wrestling Federation on Nov 1, 2023 19:30:41 GMT -6
Stanford Steve: “Welcome in degenerates! Tonight we’re covering the November FNL: Supremacy. Before we get to the card, I’d just like to extend an invitation to Ms. Lucy Pinder to my yacht to thank her in person for that outrageous 30-to-1 hit. Thanks to her impromptu breast smother IN A NON-JMD FIGHT, we were up +44 units!”
Natascha McElhone: “Gross. Shut up.”
Stanford Steve: “Tash, 30-to-1.”
Natascha McElhone: “Leave the poor girl alone, build her a statue if you’re so thankful.”
Stanford Steve: “I already have the permitting for one in my backyard.”
Ziyi Zhang versus Lucy Liu
Stanford Steve: “Most women would take the career Lucy Liu had JUST from 2000-2002. This chick was one of THE girls of the early thousands. Ziyi is staring up at it big time in this bout, even with Liu not having fought in a few years. A shocking stat that I found, but Zhang has only gone past the 4th round twice in her career, an astonishing figure. I think Liu makes a triumphant return to the ring and continues that trend, so I’m going with history. Either way, it’s just phenomenal to see Ms. Liu back in action, I can’t get enough of the Cougar and Jaguar fun.”
Official Bets: Liu – 4th Round KO (+1,100)
Millie Bobby Brown versus Andrea Botez
Stanford Steve: “For a chess player, you’d think Botez was smarter than to ask for this fight in just her third career bout. Brown had one of the most absurd starts to a career as you could draw up; going undefeated in 2022 en route to a Flyweight Title at just age 18. That won’t ever happen again. Botez understandably wants to make a name for herself, but she’s FAR too green. She might make a name, but it won’t be a positive one. Millie makes short work of the Canadian.”
Official Bets: Brown – 4th Round KO (+910)
Ming Xi versus Mia Kang
Stanford Steve: “Ming Xi had a bit of a coming out party in the Worlds Collide FNL, making it all the way to the finals of that spectacular event. On the other side, I think Kang is somewhat a product of a passive environment. With her Stable recently dissolving and some questions about her activity, it’s tough to parse the blame of where that should fall. Me personally, I like Kang a lot and don’t think she’s been given a fair shake. That said, this is a gauntlet of a matchup against the lanky Xi. Ming has been given a ton of work by Fates and they’re clearly all the way behind her. I would love to see Kang compete here, but I think it could be another short evening. I like playing darts, so give me another pick ‘em round here.”
Official Bets: Xi – 5th Round KO (+1,200)
Stana Katic versus Dua Lipa (Lightweight Title)
Stanford Steve: “Why are you looking at me like that, Tash? You’re scaring me.”
Natascha McElhone: “Tread lightly, bald man.”
Stanford Steve: “So last Pay Per View, I picked against Stana Katic in the Jaguar Title fight against Palicki. Elephant in the room. What was it you said would happen if I picked against a CWF fighter again while being an employee of the CWF?”
Natascha McElhone: “I said you’d be promoted to viewer and we’d find a new host.”
Stanford Steve: “Loud and clear, boss. Lucky for you, Vegas doesn’t seem to give the Coug’ much of a puncher’s chance.”
Natascha McElhone: “How is that lucky for me?”
Stanford Steve: “I see virtually zero meat on the bone for Lipa bettors, a terrible spot to be in as a gambler. Lipa is fighting nothing but CLASS opponents as of late, she’s entering her absolute prime. This girl is going to win multiple Lightweight belts, the whole division is at her fingertips. She’s 35-15, she’s on a hell of a run, she’s two decades younger than Katic. There’s a reason 45 year olds don’t win lineal Titles. That said, Vegas knows all that. I’m stupid, Vegas isn’t. Katic is a colossal underdog, but her recent hiccups actually make me like her even more. It’s impossible to have your whole focus on the Jaguar Title when there are rumblings out there of a real lineal Title chance. She’s waiting for the phone to ring and it’s understandable that a Champion like Palicki catches her on the chin while she’s looking the other way, even Stuhlmann makes sense. This is THE chance for Katic. 45 year olds don’t get multiple shots at a belt. She’s a brilliant woman and tactician, she knows that. I like her to capitalize and at least make it a war, she’s got to prove that this choice wasn’t a joke or a mistake. If she doesn’t show up, she’s done at Lightweight as a serious contender.”
Natascha McElhone: “And she will. I’m putting my first ever bet on it.”
Stanford Steve: “Tash!! Let the descent into degeneracy begin! I can’t in good conscience tail you but I love it.”
Official Bets: Katic – ML (+910) (McElhone)
Official Bets: Over 1.5 Knockdowns (+510)
Official Bets: Katic – Anytime Knockdown (+410)
Natascha McElhone: “Gross. Shut up.”
Stanford Steve: “Tash, 30-to-1.”
Natascha McElhone: “Leave the poor girl alone, build her a statue if you’re so thankful.”
Stanford Steve: “I already have the permitting for one in my backyard.”
Ziyi Zhang versus Lucy Liu
Stanford Steve: “Most women would take the career Lucy Liu had JUST from 2000-2002. This chick was one of THE girls of the early thousands. Ziyi is staring up at it big time in this bout, even with Liu not having fought in a few years. A shocking stat that I found, but Zhang has only gone past the 4th round twice in her career, an astonishing figure. I think Liu makes a triumphant return to the ring and continues that trend, so I’m going with history. Either way, it’s just phenomenal to see Ms. Liu back in action, I can’t get enough of the Cougar and Jaguar fun.”
Official Bets: Liu – 4th Round KO (+1,100)
Millie Bobby Brown versus Andrea Botez
Stanford Steve: “For a chess player, you’d think Botez was smarter than to ask for this fight in just her third career bout. Brown had one of the most absurd starts to a career as you could draw up; going undefeated in 2022 en route to a Flyweight Title at just age 18. That won’t ever happen again. Botez understandably wants to make a name for herself, but she’s FAR too green. She might make a name, but it won’t be a positive one. Millie makes short work of the Canadian.”
Official Bets: Brown – 4th Round KO (+910)
Ming Xi versus Mia Kang
Stanford Steve: “Ming Xi had a bit of a coming out party in the Worlds Collide FNL, making it all the way to the finals of that spectacular event. On the other side, I think Kang is somewhat a product of a passive environment. With her Stable recently dissolving and some questions about her activity, it’s tough to parse the blame of where that should fall. Me personally, I like Kang a lot and don’t think she’s been given a fair shake. That said, this is a gauntlet of a matchup against the lanky Xi. Ming has been given a ton of work by Fates and they’re clearly all the way behind her. I would love to see Kang compete here, but I think it could be another short evening. I like playing darts, so give me another pick ‘em round here.”
Official Bets: Xi – 5th Round KO (+1,200)
Stana Katic versus Dua Lipa (Lightweight Title)
Stanford Steve: “Why are you looking at me like that, Tash? You’re scaring me.”
Natascha McElhone: “Tread lightly, bald man.”
Stanford Steve: “So last Pay Per View, I picked against Stana Katic in the Jaguar Title fight against Palicki. Elephant in the room. What was it you said would happen if I picked against a CWF fighter again while being an employee of the CWF?”
Natascha McElhone: “I said you’d be promoted to viewer and we’d find a new host.”
Stanford Steve: “Loud and clear, boss. Lucky for you, Vegas doesn’t seem to give the Coug’ much of a puncher’s chance.”
Natascha McElhone: “How is that lucky for me?”
Stanford Steve: “I see virtually zero meat on the bone for Lipa bettors, a terrible spot to be in as a gambler. Lipa is fighting nothing but CLASS opponents as of late, she’s entering her absolute prime. This girl is going to win multiple Lightweight belts, the whole division is at her fingertips. She’s 35-15, she’s on a hell of a run, she’s two decades younger than Katic. There’s a reason 45 year olds don’t win lineal Titles. That said, Vegas knows all that. I’m stupid, Vegas isn’t. Katic is a colossal underdog, but her recent hiccups actually make me like her even more. It’s impossible to have your whole focus on the Jaguar Title when there are rumblings out there of a real lineal Title chance. She’s waiting for the phone to ring and it’s understandable that a Champion like Palicki catches her on the chin while she’s looking the other way, even Stuhlmann makes sense. This is THE chance for Katic. 45 year olds don’t get multiple shots at a belt. She’s a brilliant woman and tactician, she knows that. I like her to capitalize and at least make it a war, she’s got to prove that this choice wasn’t a joke or a mistake. If she doesn’t show up, she’s done at Lightweight as a serious contender.”
Natascha McElhone: “And she will. I’m putting my first ever bet on it.”
Stanford Steve: “Tash!! Let the descent into degeneracy begin! I can’t in good conscience tail you but I love it.”
Official Bets: Katic – ML (+910) (McElhone)
Official Bets: Over 1.5 Knockdowns (+510)
Official Bets: Katic – Anytime Knockdown (+410)
