CBAD: Stana Katic vs. Aisha Tyler

Tale of the Tape:

Stana Katic (37-7-0, 37 KO)
5'9, 45 years old
Celebrity Wrestling Federation
Jaguar Title Holder

vs.

Aisha Tyler (3-4-0, 3 KO)
6’0, 53 years old
Free Agent

(Written by Celebrity Wrestling Federation/Results by Lookout!)

Intro:
"AND NOW! Making her 45th appearance in the ring, fighting under the Celebrity Wrestling Federation flag. Please welcome the Hamilton, Ontario native, standing 5 foot 9, weighing in at 125 pounds, THE CURRENT JAGUAR TITLE HOLDER, STANAAAAA KAAAAAATIC!!”

Outfits:
Katic's lithe, statuesque frame glistened under the heat of the overhead spotlights as she slid out of her satin robe and revealed every taut, delicate curve of her bronzed skin. Each athletic twist and shimmy of her upper half caused her modest bosom to swell, her teardropping B-cups mushrooming out the top and bottom of the thin-banded tube top belted around her sternum. Katic craned her long stems and dipped into a lewd crouching split, limbering in her corner to some last minute instruction from her corner. Her pale-white string thong was devoured by folds of flesh, finally rising and rearranging the twined, biting string bottoms by hiking them high up her hips. Ending her corner show, the brunette arched her rib cage and pressed to her tippy toes against the ropes, throwing her tightly-braided pony tail over her shoulder before pumping her gloved fists together.

Even at age 53, the titanic, raven-haired Tyler was an imposing sight to behold. Having stayed in fantastic shape after her 2022 bout with Charlize Theron, Aisha was more than proud to show off her incredibly-aged figure. Like a fine wine, Tyler had been poured into a snow white bra and matching thong bottoms; a daring outfit for the occasion, but one that she pulled off gracefully. That occasion was a date with a frustrated Jaguar Champion; one looking to get back on track after a shocking loss to Rachel Stuhlmann.

Round 1:
With 5’11 Palicki looming just a few short days away, Katic had surprisingly requested a second tune-up to prepare for her troubling reach. Retreating back to the 40+ ranks after the youngster Stuhlmann proved too feisty; 6’0 Tyler was willing and eager to take the fight on short notice with a chance to shock the FCBA world for a second time in a week.

Much like her bout with the tennis star, Katic’s heaps of 2023 experience overwhelmed her counterpart in a pragmatic first. No matter how much of the last year Aisha spent in the gym, it could never compare to the battle-hardened hours Katic had logged. The wiry brunette sliced and dissected the taller, heavier Jaguar with an electric conveyor belt of rights; zippering up Tyler’s left side with a varied onslaught that backed her cluelessly into the ropes. Aisha’s groping hands could only stave off Stana’s pressure for so long; as Katic discarded a late clinch and volleyed another handful of wheelbarrow uppercuts into Tyler’s vulnerable midsection until she was gagging and scampering away. At the bell it was Tyler who looked gassed already; clearly unable to keep up with the frenetic pace of the Jaguar Champion. Katic takes a rejuvenated opener, 10-8.

Round 2/3:
Yet to make her presence felt in a backpedaling first, Tyler finally did just that as she crow-hopped into a spine-tingling overhand before Katic had even made it to center. Katic reflexed with a defensive ‘X’ and took the ring-shaking impact across her forearms, but Tyler’s momentum carried her into an awkward left uppercut to the tummy as their two frames collided just a split second later. Katic wailed as a fleshy *CLAP* erupted from their chesty embrace; slung over at the waist as Tyler crashed into her and drove the tangled pair into the ropes. Tyler slowly twisted and bound the wiry brunette as they crudely clinched; her hip planted between Katic’s thighs as she stuffed repeated rabbit punches into Stana’s hip from the side. Katic slid sideways after a few anxious moments and slung an unhinged right hook through Tyler’s chin; pawing at her rack and two-handed shoving Aisha across the ring to finally buck totally free. Tyler recoiled with a defiant smirk painted across her lips; clearly chipper at getting under the Champ’s skin early on. The optics favored the heavier fighter leaning on Katic for the majority of the round; giving Tyler a narrow nod to pull back within striking range; 10-9.

Tyler had clearly showed up with the intent to grind on the slender Canadian, as she followed up an ear-perking second with another strong showing in the third. Katic’s superior repertoire was never going to be stifled completely, but Tyler did enough to level off with the defending Jaguar Champion and eke out a draw. Katic still leads, but narrowly.

Round 4:
After slowly clawing her way back into the fight with some grimy rounds, McElhone finally saw precisely the spark she had hoped to get from Tyler. Aisha wasn’t intended to be just a stepping stone by Katic’s coach; but rather someone who could catalyze their Champion to new heights. That couldn’t be accomplished without a bit of friction; and friction Tyler provided in the fourth. With the key word being ‘height’, Tyler started to strike from a postured position that Katic would be seeing plenty of from the gangly Palicki.

The top half of Stana’s guard was severely and relentlessly tested as Aisha bounced to her tippy toes and spiked vicious, wrecking-ball overhands into the Champ’s upper half. No matter where Katic scurried, Tyler’s blinding right hand kept finding her from the rafters; raking across the Canadian’s cheek and finally depositing her into the corner after a scooping hook to the navel left her vulnerable. Katic’s jaw hung open as she slumped against the post; her head hanging low before Tyler lifted her chin and slashed another crisp jab across her temple. A mist of blood spattered across the mat as Katic was opened up; desperately bucking the heavier brunette off her before responding with a rib-tickling hook that cracked Tyler’s midsection. Aisha grimaced as Katic did the same; the two prowling lionesses circling for the last thirty seconds without trading any more venom. Tyler vaults into the lead with a third consecutive strong round; 10-8.

Round 5:
It looked as though Tyler had finally worked back into form; a troubling sign for the smaller brunette but a test that her team wanted to see her pass nonetheless. Aisha beckoned Katic forward off her stool, waiting center ring for the Canadian to slide into her laid bear-trap. Stana jogged into an overhand right, just what Tyler was waiting for; only at the top of her proverbial route, Katic broke it off without warning. Tyler leaned into a gut shot just as the Champ unveiled her feign; pulling back and lacerating Tyler’s midsection as the inexperienced San Fran native was hung out to dry by her own haughtiness.

Tyler gagged as her exposed ribs were crushed; her eyes bugging as Katic wriggled left and swiveled like a washer through a devastating TAP-TAP shot straight upwards toward her pursed lips. The towering brunette squelched as her jaw rattled side-to-side; buckling like a great redwood and tipping sideways as the Champ flickered her lights off in the blink of an eye. Aisha’s limbs detonated as she impacted the canvas; sprawled lifelessly twisted up on her backside as Katic retreated methodically to a neutral corner.

1… 2… 3… 4… Unaccustomed to such concussive blows in rapid succession, Tyler took a moment to unravel; groggily panting as she stared vacantly up at the lights.

5… 6… 7… Mission accomplished for Katic, who slayed the Stuhlmann demons and cut down a 6’0 Welter in her own age group. Tyler was no Palicki, but at least the confidence would be there to fall back on. Tyler grimaced as her corner urged her to stay down; unable to pull herself even to all fours before the count hit its end.

8… 9… 10!!

"And your winner, by KO in Round 5, STANNNAAAAA KAAAATTIC!!!!”