Post by Celebrity Wrestling Federation on Oct 10, 2023 20:35:30 GMT -6
Stanford Steve: “How about last month, Tash?! We were up +35 units between the September PPV, September Asylum, and Re:Ignite. With my standard unit being $1,000, that’s a cool $35,000. Even more important, our viewers hopefully tailed a majority of those picks and cashed themselves!”
Natascha McElhone: “I’m glad you were able to keep the lights on for a second week”.
Stanford Steve: “O ye of little faith! With a little confidence in my system, we’re going to be even better moving forward. Before we get into the picks, I’ll just be up front about my limited knowledge of a few of the non-lineal Titles that are heavily represented this month. Now I’m a noted fan of JMD and I LOVE the Cougar and Jaguar belts, but I’m admittedly not going to dive very deep into some of the others. Ice Hotel, Beach, AMD, Body Saddle, I just don’t get them. Not to insinuate those interested in such events are any lesser, but they’re not for me. Too complicated for my brain”.
Natascha McElhone: “I think we can largely agree on that. If the competitor pool isn’t clearly identifiable, I think our group struggles to go all-in in pursuit. Cougars are obvious, JMD requires certain ‘assets’, but what about the others? There are what, four girls who have ever competed in AMD? Call it a club or a clique”.
Stanford Steve: “Best of luck to the assorted field of 16 competing in the Empress of the Body Saddle Tournament, but we’re going to exclude those fights from our bets”.
Kylie Jenner versus Elizabeth Turner
Stanford Steve: “There’s no denying what Kylie has done at JMDD, but I’m not seeing eye-to-eye with Vegas on this one. This has absolutely nothing to do with the CWF being my employer (wink), but Turner is incredibly tough to stay away from as the underdog. She’s got four inches on Jenner, she’s in the midst of the best year of her career, and she’s finally got management. Jenner knows as well as anyone how to deal with reach, just look at her gamey stretch in late 2022 (Kendall, DiDonato, Swift), but Turner will still present a problem. Couple that with the fact that Kylie just a month ago tried to cut down to Bantam full-time; I just think she’s tired of dealing with gangly blondes up there at Light. Not that I blame her. I’m going to take a chance on Turner taking the fight outright on the +310 moneyline. I’m also going to sprinkle in a little ‘anytime knockdown’ for Turner at +210. My gut still says Jenner takes it outright, but I like Turner’s chances enough”.
Official Bets: Turner – ML (+310)
Official Bets: Turner – Anytime Knockdown (+210)
Paige Spiranac versus Bella Thorne (JMD)
Stanford Steve: “This is an absolute dream JMD matchup”.
Natascha McElhone: “I have a feeling you’re going to say that with just about every Spiranac bout…”
Stanford Steve: “Guilty. Bella is a total goddess of JMD, but she curiously hasn’t competed in-Division this year. On the other hand, Paige was built for JMD and rarely leaves it. With both coming off a loss, this is a real test for Paige. Bella has proven countless times she can rebound from a fall, but I want to see it from the blonde. I think this is a pick ‘em, but I like the longevity of Thorne to help her prevail. But she’s assuredly going to be in for a long night”.
Official Bets: Thorne – ML (-110)
Official Bets: Over 1.5 Knockdowns (+410)
Taylor Swift versus Emily Didonato (100th Match)
Stanford Steve: “These are two of the pillars of not only the Lightweight Division, but the FCBA in general. DiDo leads their career series 4-3, so that’s reason enough in my eyes to take Swift to level things without even another thought. I don’t see any other possible storybook outcome. When Swift beats DiDo, she does it QUICK; but when DiDo wins, these fights can be grueling. I like that trend to break, or at least I’m hoping for it.
Official Bets: Swift – ML (+110)
Official Bets: Over 1.5 Knockdowns (+410)
Official Bets: Over 7.5 Rounds (+310)
Harumi Nemoto versus Lucy Pinder
Stanford Steve: “Tash, this matchup shows that the juiciest fights don’t have to be the most consequential. These two aren’t making headlines or chasing Titles, but that doesn’t mean I won’t close the blinds and put it on both TVs”.
Natascha McElhone: “Gross”.
Stanford Steve: “It’s called watching film. To perfect my craft. Nemoto leads their series 2-1; most recently a five round victory in July. It’s a crime against humanity that this isn’t JMD, but you can’t take the jug-mugging out of this bout. At least I hope. I don’t know or care who wins, but these two don’t have the pedigree for a ‘fight of the night’ affair. I think the first knockdown takes it. I’ve also got a WILD prop to throw in despite this not being JMD. Let a man root with his heart…”
Official Bets: Under 1.5 Knockdowns (-110)
Official Bets: Breast Smother - Yes (+3,000)
Hannah Palmer versus Hunter King (JMD)
Stanford Steve: “Hunter King is what we call a fastidious fight selector. Six fights in the last three years, but she’s got a ton of talent”.
Natascha McElhone: “Speaking of talent, Palmer would be in our Stable in a heartbeat if she was a free agent. Love the girl. If she didn’t keep beating us, we’d give her work every PPV”.
Stanford Steve: “And not a SOUL would complain about seeing her in action. This is an even bout on paper, but King just hasn’t been the same since she left Front Street. I think Palmer drops some jaws early in the night, and not just after the post-fight bell”.
Official Bets: Palmer – 4th Round KO (+1,400)
Emily Roman versus Sophie Turner
Stanford Steve: “Turner was a tremendous poach for the ever-expanding Queens roster. Impeccable measurables and not even 30, she’s got ‘Lightweight Challenger’ written in her future. Roman is barking up a scary tree, and I don’t think they’re quite in the same class. I like her spunk, but Turner is hellbent on proving she still belongs in the top-10. This fight will do nothing to prove she belongs, as Roman is too green, but Sophie needs a dub after losing to Straho. This should be that win if she’s serious”.
Official Bets: Under 1.5 Knockdowns (-110)
Official Bets: Turner – 4th Round KO (+1,200)
Summer Glau versus Natalie Dormer
Stanford Steve: “Sticking with the Game of Thrones roster, this is going to be a woodshed bout. Dormer isn’t yet a shiver-inducing Cougar, but Glau is going to get an especially rude welcome back to the ring. A loser of 16 in a row and without a lick of experience in the last year, for the life of me I can’t fathom why Summer took this bout. I get that Dormer wants a pillowy return to the winner’s circle, but this will feel like a sparring session. The blonde will make short work, or at least she should”.
Official Bets: Dormer – 3rd Round KO (+1,400)
Jenny McCarthy versus Kim Kardashian (Cougar Title)
Stanford Steve: “Kim had a shocking showing in the inaugural Cougar Tournament; downing heavy favorite Sienna Miller and giving Winnick all she could handle. McCarthy just BEAT Winnick, solidifying her claim to the Cougar belt. Say what you want about Jenny, but she has a stronger resume than people give her credit. Not to mention, she’s into her 50’s. In the pop-culture Title, give me the blonde with a staggering FOUR inch height advantage. We might need to run this enticing pairing back as a JMD contest and Kim might fare better, but I like McCarthy to retain in a tight one”.
Official Bets: McCarthy – ML (+110)
Stana Katic versus Adrianne Palicki (Jaguar Title)
Stanford Steve: “Katic is on an all-time run right now. I admittedly don’t know the full history of the FCBA, but a Cougar making her debut after 40 and vaulting into the top-10 of the lineal rankings within a year has to be an astronomical anomaly. If only I’d had THAT future. 17 wins in a row, 6 Title defenses in a row, top-10 Lightweight wins, she’s been impeccable”.
Natascha McElhone: “If I could chime in with some inside information, Katic will have a tune-up with Rachel Stuhlmann before this bout. Maybe two. But you put on the tape and Palicki is one of the more underrated boxers you’ll ever see. A five time Champion across multiple divisions, and STILL getting belt shots at 40. That’s an incredibly admirable career, and her Jaguar days are just getting started. This is as tough a fight as SK has taken, Strahovski included”.
Stanford Steve: “I couldn’t agree more, girl just goes about her business and always competes. 5’11 is going to give anyone problems, so I love the Stuhlmann warm-up. That’s why you’re the GM, Tash. But I do think Katic’s run has to end sometime, and the measurables might just be too much. Seeing Adrianne as an underdog is just too enticing. That height is a killer, and Katic is due to be cut down hard. You’ve got to be running out of challengers for her anyways, so this would make your job easier”.
Official Bets: Palicki – 7th Round KO (+1,600)
Official Bets: Katic – Anytime Knockdown (+110)
Dua Lipa versus Lily James (Lightweight Title)
Stanford Steve: “DiDo and Straho is a MASSIVE back-to-back set, so Lipa almost felt due to run out of steam against Cohen. I almost feel like a mental reset could be good for her. James came back down to earth a tad after a stupendous start to her career, and she’s already beaten Lipa twice. Some might look at that and take her blindly, but I see the Champion as an underdog with a colossal chip on her shoulders and that gets me drooling. Dua is about as hungry a defending Champ as you could find; coming off a loss and with vengeance on her mind. I’ll take the plus signs all night, and I think it’s a long night regardless of the outcome”.
Official Bets: Lipa – ML (+310)
Official Bets: Over 7.5 Rounds (+310)
Adelaide Clemens versus Cristy Ren
Stanford Steve: “Ren is on a campaign of obliteration, and Clemens is just another unfortunate blip. Adelaide hasn’t received much work in her career, and I can guarantee she won’t be padding any stats in this one. I hit huge on Ren in the 3rd last Asylum, so I’m going right back to the well in a patented gambling no-no”.
Natascha McElhone: “History repeats itself, no?”
Stanford Steve: “You just put my mind completely at ease, Tash! Ren in three!”
Official Bets: Ren – 3rd Round KO (+510)
Allison Williams versus Mikayla Demaiter
Stanford Steve: “Call Demaiter and Ren the Bash Bros, because this will be another slaughter at the Asylum. Winless Allison Williams might retire after this one, because I have no idea what she did to deserve this. I can’t wait to see Demaiter pushed by someone, but it won’t be here. She tries to one-up Ren and matches her with another 3rd round stomping”.
Official Bets: Demaiter – 3rd Round KO (+410)
Amanda Seyfried versus Billie Eilish
Stanford Steve: “This is just a personal gripe, but Seyfried is FAR too popular to be this mis-managed. It’s disgusting that she hasn’t fought since 2019. Credit to Front Street for digging her back up, but this will unfortunately be another rude welcome. Nine losses in a row for Seyfried versus an obscene 23 in a row for Eilish. Is a first round knockout too ambitious? I’d love to see Amanda drag Billie into a fight, but I can’t finagle myself into an angle to see it going down. In a night full of stompings, this could be the worst”.
Official Bets: Eilish – 2nd Round KO (+710)
Official Bets: Under 4.5 Rounds (+210)
Sophia Bush versus Sophie Mudd (JMD Title)
Stanford Steve: “I was all-in on Mudd last month and she rewarded my faith big time. Bush has been less than spectacular the last few years, but this girl is a JMD Champion and that experience doesn’t go away. I can’t pretend this won’t be an uphill battle; she’s shorter, less busty, and almost two DECADES Mudd’s senior. Sophia is a technician, especially at JMD, and she just felled one of the hottest fighters in the Division with relative ease”.
Natascha McElhone: “SO impressed with the Spiranac bout”.
Stanford Steve: “Unbelievable win. My heart wants to see Bush pull off the impossible, but it’s going to require absolute perfection. I think just about the only way Mudd throws her plethora of advantages out the window is passivity. I just don’t see that happening in her very first defense. I’ll drop a little tickler on Bush though, for old times sake”.
Official Bets: Mudd – 7th Round KO (+1,100)
Official Bets: Bush – Anytime Knockdown (+510)
Natascha McElhone: “I’m glad you were able to keep the lights on for a second week”.
Stanford Steve: “O ye of little faith! With a little confidence in my system, we’re going to be even better moving forward. Before we get into the picks, I’ll just be up front about my limited knowledge of a few of the non-lineal Titles that are heavily represented this month. Now I’m a noted fan of JMD and I LOVE the Cougar and Jaguar belts, but I’m admittedly not going to dive very deep into some of the others. Ice Hotel, Beach, AMD, Body Saddle, I just don’t get them. Not to insinuate those interested in such events are any lesser, but they’re not for me. Too complicated for my brain”.
Natascha McElhone: “I think we can largely agree on that. If the competitor pool isn’t clearly identifiable, I think our group struggles to go all-in in pursuit. Cougars are obvious, JMD requires certain ‘assets’, but what about the others? There are what, four girls who have ever competed in AMD? Call it a club or a clique”.
Stanford Steve: “Best of luck to the assorted field of 16 competing in the Empress of the Body Saddle Tournament, but we’re going to exclude those fights from our bets”.
Kylie Jenner versus Elizabeth Turner
Stanford Steve: “There’s no denying what Kylie has done at JMDD, but I’m not seeing eye-to-eye with Vegas on this one. This has absolutely nothing to do with the CWF being my employer (wink), but Turner is incredibly tough to stay away from as the underdog. She’s got four inches on Jenner, she’s in the midst of the best year of her career, and she’s finally got management. Jenner knows as well as anyone how to deal with reach, just look at her gamey stretch in late 2022 (Kendall, DiDonato, Swift), but Turner will still present a problem. Couple that with the fact that Kylie just a month ago tried to cut down to Bantam full-time; I just think she’s tired of dealing with gangly blondes up there at Light. Not that I blame her. I’m going to take a chance on Turner taking the fight outright on the +310 moneyline. I’m also going to sprinkle in a little ‘anytime knockdown’ for Turner at +210. My gut still says Jenner takes it outright, but I like Turner’s chances enough”.
Official Bets: Turner – ML (+310)
Official Bets: Turner – Anytime Knockdown (+210)
Paige Spiranac versus Bella Thorne (JMD)
Stanford Steve: “This is an absolute dream JMD matchup”.
Natascha McElhone: “I have a feeling you’re going to say that with just about every Spiranac bout…”
Stanford Steve: “Guilty. Bella is a total goddess of JMD, but she curiously hasn’t competed in-Division this year. On the other hand, Paige was built for JMD and rarely leaves it. With both coming off a loss, this is a real test for Paige. Bella has proven countless times she can rebound from a fall, but I want to see it from the blonde. I think this is a pick ‘em, but I like the longevity of Thorne to help her prevail. But she’s assuredly going to be in for a long night”.
Official Bets: Thorne – ML (-110)
Official Bets: Over 1.5 Knockdowns (+410)
Taylor Swift versus Emily Didonato (100th Match)
Stanford Steve: “These are two of the pillars of not only the Lightweight Division, but the FCBA in general. DiDo leads their career series 4-3, so that’s reason enough in my eyes to take Swift to level things without even another thought. I don’t see any other possible storybook outcome. When Swift beats DiDo, she does it QUICK; but when DiDo wins, these fights can be grueling. I like that trend to break, or at least I’m hoping for it.
Official Bets: Swift – ML (+110)
Official Bets: Over 1.5 Knockdowns (+410)
Official Bets: Over 7.5 Rounds (+310)
Harumi Nemoto versus Lucy Pinder
Stanford Steve: “Tash, this matchup shows that the juiciest fights don’t have to be the most consequential. These two aren’t making headlines or chasing Titles, but that doesn’t mean I won’t close the blinds and put it on both TVs”.
Natascha McElhone: “Gross”.
Stanford Steve: “It’s called watching film. To perfect my craft. Nemoto leads their series 2-1; most recently a five round victory in July. It’s a crime against humanity that this isn’t JMD, but you can’t take the jug-mugging out of this bout. At least I hope. I don’t know or care who wins, but these two don’t have the pedigree for a ‘fight of the night’ affair. I think the first knockdown takes it. I’ve also got a WILD prop to throw in despite this not being JMD. Let a man root with his heart…”
Official Bets: Under 1.5 Knockdowns (-110)
Official Bets: Breast Smother - Yes (+3,000)
Hannah Palmer versus Hunter King (JMD)
Stanford Steve: “Hunter King is what we call a fastidious fight selector. Six fights in the last three years, but she’s got a ton of talent”.
Natascha McElhone: “Speaking of talent, Palmer would be in our Stable in a heartbeat if she was a free agent. Love the girl. If she didn’t keep beating us, we’d give her work every PPV”.
Stanford Steve: “And not a SOUL would complain about seeing her in action. This is an even bout on paper, but King just hasn’t been the same since she left Front Street. I think Palmer drops some jaws early in the night, and not just after the post-fight bell”.
Official Bets: Palmer – 4th Round KO (+1,400)
Emily Roman versus Sophie Turner
Stanford Steve: “Turner was a tremendous poach for the ever-expanding Queens roster. Impeccable measurables and not even 30, she’s got ‘Lightweight Challenger’ written in her future. Roman is barking up a scary tree, and I don’t think they’re quite in the same class. I like her spunk, but Turner is hellbent on proving she still belongs in the top-10. This fight will do nothing to prove she belongs, as Roman is too green, but Sophie needs a dub after losing to Straho. This should be that win if she’s serious”.
Official Bets: Under 1.5 Knockdowns (-110)
Official Bets: Turner – 4th Round KO (+1,200)
Summer Glau versus Natalie Dormer
Stanford Steve: “Sticking with the Game of Thrones roster, this is going to be a woodshed bout. Dormer isn’t yet a shiver-inducing Cougar, but Glau is going to get an especially rude welcome back to the ring. A loser of 16 in a row and without a lick of experience in the last year, for the life of me I can’t fathom why Summer took this bout. I get that Dormer wants a pillowy return to the winner’s circle, but this will feel like a sparring session. The blonde will make short work, or at least she should”.
Official Bets: Dormer – 3rd Round KO (+1,400)
Jenny McCarthy versus Kim Kardashian (Cougar Title)
Stanford Steve: “Kim had a shocking showing in the inaugural Cougar Tournament; downing heavy favorite Sienna Miller and giving Winnick all she could handle. McCarthy just BEAT Winnick, solidifying her claim to the Cougar belt. Say what you want about Jenny, but she has a stronger resume than people give her credit. Not to mention, she’s into her 50’s. In the pop-culture Title, give me the blonde with a staggering FOUR inch height advantage. We might need to run this enticing pairing back as a JMD contest and Kim might fare better, but I like McCarthy to retain in a tight one”.
Official Bets: McCarthy – ML (+110)
Stana Katic versus Adrianne Palicki (Jaguar Title)
Stanford Steve: “Katic is on an all-time run right now. I admittedly don’t know the full history of the FCBA, but a Cougar making her debut after 40 and vaulting into the top-10 of the lineal rankings within a year has to be an astronomical anomaly. If only I’d had THAT future. 17 wins in a row, 6 Title defenses in a row, top-10 Lightweight wins, she’s been impeccable”.
Natascha McElhone: “If I could chime in with some inside information, Katic will have a tune-up with Rachel Stuhlmann before this bout. Maybe two. But you put on the tape and Palicki is one of the more underrated boxers you’ll ever see. A five time Champion across multiple divisions, and STILL getting belt shots at 40. That’s an incredibly admirable career, and her Jaguar days are just getting started. This is as tough a fight as SK has taken, Strahovski included”.
Stanford Steve: “I couldn’t agree more, girl just goes about her business and always competes. 5’11 is going to give anyone problems, so I love the Stuhlmann warm-up. That’s why you’re the GM, Tash. But I do think Katic’s run has to end sometime, and the measurables might just be too much. Seeing Adrianne as an underdog is just too enticing. That height is a killer, and Katic is due to be cut down hard. You’ve got to be running out of challengers for her anyways, so this would make your job easier”.
Official Bets: Palicki – 7th Round KO (+1,600)
Official Bets: Katic – Anytime Knockdown (+110)
Dua Lipa versus Lily James (Lightweight Title)
Stanford Steve: “DiDo and Straho is a MASSIVE back-to-back set, so Lipa almost felt due to run out of steam against Cohen. I almost feel like a mental reset could be good for her. James came back down to earth a tad after a stupendous start to her career, and she’s already beaten Lipa twice. Some might look at that and take her blindly, but I see the Champion as an underdog with a colossal chip on her shoulders and that gets me drooling. Dua is about as hungry a defending Champ as you could find; coming off a loss and with vengeance on her mind. I’ll take the plus signs all night, and I think it’s a long night regardless of the outcome”.
Official Bets: Lipa – ML (+310)
Official Bets: Over 7.5 Rounds (+310)
Adelaide Clemens versus Cristy Ren
Stanford Steve: “Ren is on a campaign of obliteration, and Clemens is just another unfortunate blip. Adelaide hasn’t received much work in her career, and I can guarantee she won’t be padding any stats in this one. I hit huge on Ren in the 3rd last Asylum, so I’m going right back to the well in a patented gambling no-no”.
Natascha McElhone: “History repeats itself, no?”
Stanford Steve: “You just put my mind completely at ease, Tash! Ren in three!”
Official Bets: Ren – 3rd Round KO (+510)
Allison Williams versus Mikayla Demaiter
Stanford Steve: “Call Demaiter and Ren the Bash Bros, because this will be another slaughter at the Asylum. Winless Allison Williams might retire after this one, because I have no idea what she did to deserve this. I can’t wait to see Demaiter pushed by someone, but it won’t be here. She tries to one-up Ren and matches her with another 3rd round stomping”.
Official Bets: Demaiter – 3rd Round KO (+410)
Amanda Seyfried versus Billie Eilish
Stanford Steve: “This is just a personal gripe, but Seyfried is FAR too popular to be this mis-managed. It’s disgusting that she hasn’t fought since 2019. Credit to Front Street for digging her back up, but this will unfortunately be another rude welcome. Nine losses in a row for Seyfried versus an obscene 23 in a row for Eilish. Is a first round knockout too ambitious? I’d love to see Amanda drag Billie into a fight, but I can’t finagle myself into an angle to see it going down. In a night full of stompings, this could be the worst”.
Official Bets: Eilish – 2nd Round KO (+710)
Official Bets: Under 4.5 Rounds (+210)
Sophia Bush versus Sophie Mudd (JMD Title)
Stanford Steve: “I was all-in on Mudd last month and she rewarded my faith big time. Bush has been less than spectacular the last few years, but this girl is a JMD Champion and that experience doesn’t go away. I can’t pretend this won’t be an uphill battle; she’s shorter, less busty, and almost two DECADES Mudd’s senior. Sophia is a technician, especially at JMD, and she just felled one of the hottest fighters in the Division with relative ease”.
Natascha McElhone: “SO impressed with the Spiranac bout”.
Stanford Steve: “Unbelievable win. My heart wants to see Bush pull off the impossible, but it’s going to require absolute perfection. I think just about the only way Mudd throws her plethora of advantages out the window is passivity. I just don’t see that happening in her very first defense. I’ll drop a little tickler on Bush though, for old times sake”.
Official Bets: Mudd – 7th Round KO (+1,100)
Official Bets: Bush – Anytime Knockdown (+510)