Donna D'Errico vs. Tina Louise

Tale of the Tape:

Tina Louise (3-1-0, 3 KO)
5'7, 42 years old
Celebrity Wrestling Federation

vs.

Donna D’Errico (12-10-0, 8 KO)
5'5, 55 years old
Free Agent

(Written by Celebrity Wrestling Federation/Results by Lookout!)

Intro:
Tina was meticulously poured into a microscopic, sheer bikini that clung to her heavy chest with admirable effort. The thin-banded tube top did little to contain her massive, overflowing D-cups; her heaving orbs swelling as though they were fastened with a belt rather than a bikini top with how much cleavage and underboob was being offered. Her wide, voluptuous hips devoured her string thong bottoms, the biting floss disappearing between her plump cheeks and bronzed folds of flesh as she slid salaciously into the ring.

Not to be outdone, the 55 year old Baywatch star dawned a thin, cherry red monokini; inspired by the look she’d made famous decades ago, only with less fabric this time around. D’Errico had revitalized her career with the Cougar Division renaissance; sporting a strong 5-2-0 record in her 50’s. Finding herself in a Quarter of the bracket that lacked a betting favorite, one of the oldest Cougars in the field felt she had a punchers chance to travel deep.

Fight:
The newbie Louise had other, more oppresive plans, as she exploded out of the gates and threatened to end the fight just minutes in with a lively barrage that pushed Donna to the figurative and literal ropes. Unlike most of Donna’s recent opponents, Tina was far from pushing 50; and finding herself stifled by the Aussie’s two inch height advantage and blistering energy, D’Errico was nearly washed away by the tide before she’d even found her sea legs. It was a slow crawl back to level after a torrid first few rounds saw Tina leap out to a worrying advantage on the scorecard, tearing through the blonde’s soft midrift with sharp, biting hooks and uppercuts. A strictly JMD fighter to this point in her young career, Louise demonstrated that she’d taken a liking to the style of fight; bashing away at the Baywatch star’s vulnerable chest with an unconventional volley of rack attacks every chance she could find.

It wasn’t until the fourth that D’Errico managed to tow herself out of the mud with a vitalizing overhand that seemingly came out of nowhere and rocked Louise; providing the ‘Bama-native with a much needed shot in the arm. The woozy Aussie’s three-round assault came tumbling down around her, drunkenly wobbling and ducking past an eager, but primitive flurry from D’Errico as she chased Louise across the ring. Curled and tiptoeing along the ropes, Tina’s hanging D-cups were an appealing target to inflict some much deserved payback; as Donna took a dip herself into the JMD rulebook and slung a rhythmic drumming of underhooks into Tina’s quaking chest. With the bleach-blonde’s hands finally falling to cover and swathe her pulsing tits, the CRACK of a sweeping hook snapped against her chin, buckling and depositing her into the corner post just before time expired in the fourth. Still forced to beat the count, Louise rose at 7, but D’Errico was all of a sudden right back in the mix.

After a wake-up call from the woman a decade her senior, Louise churned up a bit more intensity and pluckiness that the 55 year old couldn’t match; reaming the tiring model’s defenses with another furious assault much like the first rounder. D’Errico was picked apart in the fifth and sixth as Tina methodically worked from her hips to her shoulders; wasting not a drop of stamina as Donna used all of hers to keep wobbling out of trouble. D’Errico hadn’t gone into the seventh round since 2000, and while this was new territory for Louise as well, she had 13 years of tread on the tires that Donna didn’t.

D’Errico valiantly took a lump to lash out at Louise with a feathered left, then another as she clumsily twisted around on an identical hook to her fourth round knockdown; only Louise wouldn’t be caught with her hand in the cookie jar twice. D’Errico’s lower half buckled as Louise slipped below her first and stuffed a heavy left uppercut through her gut; then swiveled beneath the Baywatch star’s hook, snapping a biting *tap*, *tap* set of sidewinding jabs into her ribs. D’Errico lurched a step forward, wincing as she skittered on her toes. Trying to drift out of reach, Donna wheeled her head around just in time to catch a snoozing overhand from the Aussie, gurgling as she face-planted with a messy thud. The count was a formality, the 55 year old wasn’t getting up.

"And your winner, by KO in Round 7, TINA LOUUUUUIIISSSEEEE!!!!"