Kate Mara vs. Salma Hayek

Tale of the Tape:

Kate Mara (4-15-0, 4 KO)
5'2, 40 years old
Celebrity Wrestling Federation

vs.

Salma Hayek (32-35-0, 20 KO)
5'2, 56 years old
Latina Knockouts

(Written by Celebrity Wrestling Federation/Results by Lookout!)

Intro:
Mara's flawless, porcelain frame glistened with a light sheen of body glitter as she pranced toward the ring. Clad in a pink, micro string thong and matching tube top that swaddled her ample, swelling chest, Mara strut with far more assurance in her looks than her boxing acumen. Her alabaster cleavage glinted with a sheen of sweat as she slipped out of her robe, tying her shoulder-length crimson locks into a tight, high pony tail.

The busty Latina trainer was quick-witted in fanning away any air of confidence clouding the Mara corner; as she arrogantly barked out a mouthful of Spanish venom as she strode past. Mara sulked into her corner despite not even fully understanding the sharp-tongued brunette. The message was clear enough across all languages; there would be no fairy tale showing tonight. The busty Veracruz-native still embraced what made her so famous even at the age of 56; offering a wide-angle view of her stunning bust line in a titanic push-up bra and matching lace bottoms.

Fight:
Even with her Flyweight glory days far behind her, Hayek was a far different class of puncher than Mara. The old Cougar’s feet didn’t always keep up with her razor-sharp mind, but Salma maneuvered circles around a bewildered Mara in the first round. Kate pirouette and pinwheeled as though she was trying to tack a butterfly, gassing herself out as Salma simply played tag; slipping in a feathery jab or hook below the redhead’s elbows each time she recklessly swung past. Hayek didn’t take a single false or wasted step as she slid through Kate’s pressure; crunching the poor redhead’s alabaster midsection with wild, brazen counters that were half-expected to burst out the other side of Mara’s sternum.

Kate showed marked improvement from where she had been just a year ago, but the moments of overwhelmed processing still seemed to slow her down to a crawl at times. It wasn’t until she’d already dug a sizeable hole through the first two rounds that Mara finally made Hayek sweat; lassoing the Latina with a looping left hand that poured into her liver and staggered her in the last thirty seconds of the third. At the urging of her corner, Mara finally swelled with a supernova of effort; lashing the cornered Hayek with relentless, level-changing crosses and jabs that hole-punched her midsection. Salma grit her teeth and stayed tucked behind her forearms, wisely avoiding offering her jaw while Mara flurried in order to stall out and make it to break.

Despite the confident showing, Mara was unable to distill and replicate the success she had late in the third; immediately finding herself on her heels through the fourth and getting tagged at the bell to undo all the good she’d previously done. The redhead’s shoulder-length, auburn locks had been sprung free of her tight starting pony tail by the constant concussive blows; the sweat-matted strands clouding her vision as she vacantly wandered back for another half-hearted overhand as the fifth began. Hayek grunt as she shunted away Mara’s volley, stuffing a burrowing straight right of her own into the center of Kate’s sternum and rocking her into the post. Kate’s mouth fell open as her torso shuddered for breath, arms strewn over the ropes as Hayek darted after. The cornered redhead throatily whimpered as a snappy left sliced through her chin, a mist of slobber slinging from her lips as she pulled her hands up far too late to be impactful. Kate’s taut abdomen flexed as Hayek carved through her ribs with a gnarling hook, opening her mouth to wail just as a mirrored right pierced her hip from the other side. Mara’s spine curled, her body concaving as she buckled forward, hanging her chin for a batting tee left cross that spiked through her cheek and slung her to the ground.

Mara floundered to her knees with half her torso spilled through the ropes, her armpits and the underside of her bust dangling over the middle rope for an unflattering moment before she spilled to her haunches and tipped sideways. The soft-shelled Hayek knelt at Mara’s hip, stroking her cheek as the spread-eagled redhead quaked and pitched with spasms as the count crescendoed to 10.

"And your winner, by KO in Round 5, SALMAAAAA HAYYYYYYEEEEK!!!!"