Post by HBO's Boxing At The Asylum on Apr 30, 2023 17:20:17 GMT -6
BEFORE:
"I've got to admit," says Miranda with a gorgeous smile, "That I was surprised by the invite. Because, Front Street's challenged me before, with Decker and Torv. And, neither of them could handle me. Taylor isn't going to fare any better."
"Miranda's definitely a challenge," says Taylor with a nod. "But, I've faced plenty of those and come out on top, just like I'll do tonight."
ROUND ONE:
O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Rain King' by Counting Crows you hear behind us, and here comes one of the biggest fans of that band and this song, Miranda Kerr!"
McCarthy: "Kerr is POISON for Weirdo and I have NO idea why he booked her against this talentless toothpick! This won't be close!"
O'Dell: "Miranda into the ring and helped off with the robe, and the crowd loving Ms. Kerr in that shocking pink number she's wearing. And, that's 'Natural' by Imagine Dragons you hear pounding through the arena, and that can only mean that 'The Face', Taylor Hill, is on her way to the ring..."
Cassie: "And, for the fans who DON'T know, the reason Mac insults Hill at every opportunity is that, in a brief moment when she was running Sceej, she RELEASED Taylor and basically GAVE Front Street a future lightweight champion for NOTHING..."
McCarthy: "She has NO TALENT and she's a TOOTHPICK! Shut up, Scabbo!"
Tess: "This is a BIG fight for Taylor. She's pushing to get title shots, maybe lightweight, maybe welter, maybe on the beach, and a win tonight would definitely help on that score."
O'Dell: "Hill into the ring and helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve to reveal that azure number she likes, and it gets the crowd's attention as always..."
McCarthy: "This crowd may be BLIND..."
Cassie: "They'd be DEAF if they had to hear your singing..."
McCarthy: "I. REPEAT. SHUT. UP. SCABBO!"
O'Dell (sighing): "Ladies are about ready. Time for some picks. Tess likes Taylor. Mac?"
McCarthy: "Talentless toothpick! Kerr!"
O'Dell: "Cassie?"
Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"
O'Dell: "And, there's the bell. Ladies getting to range early to get their respective boxes on, and no surprise here. Both women are tall and rangy and they like to extend on their punches. Kerr with a NICE combination right there. Snapped back Taylor's head with that right..."
McCarthy: "Kerr's a REAL fighter, UNLIKE this no-talent toothpick!"
O'Dell: "Miranda definitely looking good early. She's putting punches together well, scoring with both hands. Hill's landing some, too, but there's no doubt it's the Aussie who's getting the better of things at the moment. ANOTHER good combination from Miranda, who's settled in quickly..."
Tess: "Kerr's definitely been in a slump lately, but she definitely has bona fides."
O'Dell: "No doubt about that. We're coming down the stretch in the opening frame, and it's Miranda who's had much the better of things. Taylor's not getting hurt, but she IS getting outboxed, at least in this one. There's the bell, and there's no doubt about the cards. Kerr. Wide."
Cassie: "And, Miranda takes the 10-9 lead."
ROUND TWO:
O'Dell: "Second begins at range once again. Ladies boxing and HILL with a nice combination, snaps back Kerr's head. Taylor coming forward behind that jab now, backing up the Aussie. Miranda all of a sudden finds herself in retreat. American getting off lusty at the moment..."
Cassie: "Taylor bringing the physical right now, Jenny..."
O'Dell: "And, she's gotten the upper hand in the bout by doing so. Kerr on the back foot as Hill lands that long left, then follows on with solid right hands. Kerr banging back in counter here and there, but that's about all she can manage. It's Taylor who's fighting lead right now..."
McCarthy: "Kerr just needs to set the feet and bang with this toothpick..."
O'Dell: "Easier said than done at the moment, apparently, because Taylor's staying on the offensive and keeping Miranda on the defensive. We're down under fifteen seconds to go. GOOD combination Hill again, and Kerr gives some more ground at the bell. Great round for Hill, who grabs it wide."
Tess: "And, we're even at 19."
ROUND THREE:
O'Dell: "Hill picking up right where she left off in the previous round. She's coming forward behind the left, backing up Miranda. Kerr was thrown to the defensive in the last stanza, and that's where she remains. Taylor getting punches put together very well and the Aussie has no answers..."
McCarthy: "Put your foot in the ground and bang!"
O'Dell: "Doesn't seem to be an option at the moment. Instead, it's all forward motion from Taylor and all backward motion from Kerr. Aussie landing here and there in counter, but that's all he can manage at the moment. NICE combination from Hill and that backed Kerr up again..."
Tess: "This is some great stuff from Hill."
O'Dell: "No doubt about that. She's taking the fight to a girl who's beaten some of the best lights the FCBA has to offer, a three-time BBU lightweight champion, a belt she held as recently as last year. Final five seconds ticking off in this one and there's the bell. Hill. Wide again."
Cassie: "And, Taylor moves into the 29-28 lead."
ROUND FOUR:
O'Dell: "Fourth begins the way the third ended. Taylor Hill pressuring, coming forward behind that jab, backing up Kerr. Aussie countering in spots, but taking the worst of...RIGHT HAND, MIRANDA AND DOWN GOES TAYLOR! Oh, what a right hand counter from Miranda Kerr!"
McCarthy: "THAT'S what I'm talking about! Put a foot in the ground and bang!"
O'Dell: "Kerr to a neutral corner. Hill flat on her back. Count at three. Four. Five. Taylor sitting up at six. Seven. Eight. Hill to her feet at nine. Referee gives her the mandatory...and waves on Miranda, and Kerr is ALL OVER Hill, forcing her back into the ropes and calling in the artillery..."
Cassie: "Taylor's got to try to ride this out..."
O'Dell: "And, that's exactly what she's trying to do. Hill in a high, tight guard, leaning back into the ropes as Kerr lets the hands go. Body is on sale, but Miranda's not buying. Instead, she's working almost exclusively upstairs looking for a finisher. Not going to come in the fourth. Final seconds tick away and there's the bell. Huge round for Kerr!"
Tess: "And, Miranda moves into the 38-37 lead off the 10-8 round."
ROUND FIVE:
O'Dell: "Kerr looking to finish as we start the fifth, and, that's not something you want to be on the other end of. Miranda's a fantastic finisher, and she's lasering in on Taylor, backing her up, sitting down on punches. She's effecting quite the clean up here, but that's definitely not the plan."
McCarthy: "Just keep after the toothpick and she'll crack. Get it? Crack?"
Tess: "Somehow the world of comedy keeps turning without you in it, Mac..."
McCarthy: "SHUT UP, Walmart!"
O'Dell: "Drink up, boys, as Miranda backs Hill up to the ropes again. Taylor in the high, tight guard, rolling with, blocking, trying to ride this out. She's still buzzed and Kerr knows it. Hill tying up now. Ref stepping in to break the ladies apart and Taylor able to get off the cables..."
Cassie: "Just keep playing for time. All you can do in a situation like this."
O'Dell: "And, that's exactly what Taylor's doing. She's mostly stayed off the ropes this round, but that's about all the good news, other than the fact that she's still standing. Kerr's gotten a TON of work done and, as the final seconds tick off the clock, she's pitched a shutout to win the round and pull into a 48-46 lead at the half."
ROUND SIX:
O'Dell: "Kerr back to work early, but Hill banging back now. Taylor seems to have shaken the worst of the damage and is moving much better now. Miranda still fighting lead, but the American able to get some work done in counter at the moment, and that's a big step forward after the past two rounds."
Cassie: "Taylor down a pair, but she has time."
O'Dell: "That she does. Meanwhile, Kerr's continuing to get work done. Has to be a bit frustrated that she couldn't finish, but, she's definitely turned the fight around and she's in control on the cards. SHARP exchange there with a good right hand from both fighters landing..."
Tess: "Best punch in a while for Hill..."
O'Dell: "Sure was. And, down the stretch we come now in what's been a very close round. Kerr with a nice combination and Hill responds with one of her own. Ladies letting the hands go late. SHARP exchange there snaps both heads back and there's the bell. Close. But Kerr again."
McCarthy: "And, Miranda leads the toothpick 58-55!"
ROUND SEVEN:
O'Dell: "Right back to work for both brunettes and HILL ROCKS KERR WITH A RIGHT HAND! A PERFECT one-two by Taylor Hill and Miranda is RUMBLIN', STUMBLIN', FUMBLIN' around the ring! Taylor going all in now, letting the hands go, battering the older brunette to head and body..."
McCarthy: "WATCH THE LOW BLOWS, REF!"
O'Dell: "Kerr looking ready to go here, as Hill lines her up for big right hands. Miranda backed to the cables and taking. She's got the guard high, looking to run clock like Taylor did in a couple of earlier stanzas. Hill going downstairs now, buying in bulk a body Miranda has on sale..."
Cassie: "Doubt she'll bring down the guard, not with a veteran like Kerr, but she's trying."
O'Dell: "She's also piling up both points and punishment. GOOD right by Hill and that wobbled Kerr! Referee on high alert now. He's not going to watch much more of this. Fortunately for Miranda, there's almost no time left in the round. Right hand, Taylor, and there's the bell. Shutout, Hill."
Tess: "But, Kerr still up 67-65 with just three to go."
ROUND EIGHT:
O'Dell: "Eighth underway and Hill on the attack. Taylor looking to finish this thing, much as Miranda was a few rounds back. She's walking down the older woman behind the left hand, backing her up again and again with solid rights. Kerr still wobbly, giving ground, countering here and there..."
McCarthy: "Just run clock. You're still in the lead. You'll break the toothpick..."
O'Dell: "Hill clinical here, keeping Kerr on the back foot, looking for the 'off' button. Meanwhile, Miranda looking to do just what Mac's advising, get out of this round on her feet and SHE WON'T! Right hand, Hill and DOWN GOES KERR! A blistering straight right from Taylor leaves the Aussie flat on her back!"
Tess: "May not be getting up from that one..."
O'Dell: "Hill quickly to a neutral corner. Count at three. Four. Five. Miranda rolling to her belly at six. She pushes to hands and knees at seven. Eight...and CRUMPLES BACK TO THE CANVAS AT NINE! TEN! It's OVER! Kerr can't beat the count and it's OVER! And your winner by KO8 is 'The Face' Taylor Hill!"
Cassie: "BIG win for TH! BIG win!"
AFTER:
O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"
Tess: "I have our winner, Taylor Hill, and, Taylor, quite a fight tonight..."
Taylor (smiling): "Yeah. Sure was. Obviously, she's great and she showed that tonight. Had me in some trouble, caused all kinds of problems. I just had to hang in there, trust that I could get her. And, I did."
Tess: "You've been working on the beach, at welter, at light. What's next?"
Taylor (smiling): "Turns out something pretty special, BUT, you'll have to wait and see!"
