Before the Bell: Queens of April (Ep. 10)

(Audience Cheers as Natalie Dormer appears from the red curtains, her blonde hair free flowing and sweeping back as she wore a plunging neckline tight blue sleeveless dress with silver heels, a signature smirk on her face.)

Natalie Dormer: Thank you! We have quite the show for you tonight! We have the Queen herself here, Amy Acker! We also have Natasha Calis and Tiera Skovbye here a long with Madelaine Petsch! And of course, the two newest members of the Queens: Bridget Satterlee and Zoey Deutch. Also here, Danielle Panabaker , Chrissy Costanza, and Willa Holland! Tonight’s show is going to be split into two segments: March to War and the aftermath, and then we’ll have a roundtable with the new Queens.

On that note, a lot of you probably saw I was dropped from a stable that I was a founding member of, the League of Mighty Women. My allegiance is now with the Queens but while I lost my fight to that ridiculous Anya Taylor-Joy, the war is not over by any means. She will get what’s coming and it will come from the Queens!

(Audience applaudes)

I was also told that we want to congratulate Lily Collins on her win against Avril Lavigne - at least, that’s how it’ll be remembered. Seriously, did everyone see that lesson in “don’t mess with the fittest girl in the ring?”

Natasha Calis: (Yelling across the stage) And I thought I sent messages.

(Natalie Dormer walks over to her mark with the interviewees so Natasha doesn’t have to yell)

Natalie Dormer: You are racking them up yourself - Emily VanCamp, Keira Knightley…

Natasha Calis: (Sarcastically) We don’t talk about Keira Knightley. I’m pretty sure the Celebrity Wrestling Federation hasn’t gotten over me sending her out of the ring.

Amy Acker: I don’t think they will ever get over what transpired during the stable war we had with them and I definitely know they do not like when we bring it up or call them out on it.

Natalie Dormer: Oh?

Amy Acker: Yes, they have no sense of rivalry. We know certain things about them from their behavior. Zoey wanted to face Victoria because Victoria and her are about the same height and it’d have been interesting but in the end they did turn us down using the - what is it: Can-Am Bash as the excuse but they have other fighters participating in the April PPV that are also taking part in the Can-Am.

Natalie Dormer: So, it’s really just a matter of you beat them so bad that they don’t want to work with you anymore even though they knew what they were getting into?

Amy Acker: Pretty much. But, we’re not here to talk about them even if as a result we have to find someone else for Zoey to fight; we’re here to talk about March to War and all our new fighters!

Natalie Dormer: That is quite right. So, let’s talk about March to War and get this out of the way now: you and Elisha.

Amy Acker: It’s coming. She sentenced herself to no mercy backstage at March to War.

Natalie Dormer: So, you two, in the ring?

Amy Acker: Anywhere really. I think Lookout Boxing realized who has the women that wield more power behind their punches.

Natalie Dormer: Let’s not forget that Kate Upton isn’t the ‘big girl on the block’ anymore.

Tiera Skovbye: (Laughing) That’s right - their so called “Hulk” isn’t so much of a “Hulk” when she’s facing three women of the same height. I tackled that b*tch down and there was nothing she could do.

Natasha Calis: She can’t fight girls the same height. Elyse who she beat in a fluke, you, and Bridget are all 5’10” - pretty much everyone else is shorter.

Amy Acker: And we’re going to take her down - hard.

Natalie Dormer: Natasha, you were brutal with Emily in the post-fight. Did you…

Natasha Calis: It’s not that I don’t like her - she’s a fellow Canadian, but I want her to know who the fittest girl in that ring was. Think of it like what Lily did to Avril although I really do wish I thought of all of that.

Natalie Dormer: Let’s not forget the biggest upset of the night that I’m sure stained Tractorpull’s record: Madelaine - you took down Brie Larson.

Madelaine Petsch: And knocked her out. I had a lot more planned for her but I don’t think she could have handled it. I’ll have to give my regards with love again at some point. And as for Tractorpull - they shouldn’t bet against me or the Queens.

Natalie Dormer: So what’s next?

Amy Acker: We win. AJ and Hailee have their own thing to settle but the stables do to.

Natalie Dormer: Fair enough. Moving on to our new members. Welcome to the Queens - officially: Chrissy, Danielle, Willa, and Bridget! You four will fit right in; there’s an energy about you lot.

Chrissy Costanza, Danielle Panabaker, Willa Holland, Bridget Satterlee: Thank you!

Natalie Dormer: Chrissy, I’m going to begin with you. Millie has testified that those muscles aren’t just for show but when are you two going to get into the ring?

Chrissy Costanza: I have plans for her. I’ve had them since the contract signing. And I may just take a page out of Madelaine’s book in the end.

Natalie Dormer: Ominous. Danielle, Willa - you’ve had your differences but you both hail from the CW and have only now found your way back to the ring. What’s it like to begin anew?

Danielle Panabaker: As Queens, we’re not just show pieces anymore.

Willa Holland: The Queen is the most powerful piece in chess, wait till they see us in the ring.

Natalie Dormer: Bridget, you’re the new ’tall girl’ so how does that feel to be thrusted into the front with Elyse and Krysten?

Bridget Satterlee: Exciting and unexpected. It seems the Queens are pushing pairings and Tiera, Elyse, and I seem to be the group to take down someone like Kate.

Amy Acker: We are. You are. The Queens is unique in that it has two synergistic teams - one led by Elyse and one led by Krysten and when they come together it’s an unstoppable force. That’s how we like it.

Natalie Dormer: Finally, Zoey, any idea who you’re going to pick for your first fight as a member of the Queens?

Zoey Deutch: Honestly, no; but maybe someone from PLP unless there’s a challenger. I’ve had history with PLP long ago.

Natalie Dormer: Indeed. Amy, as we wrap the show up, any words for those watching?

Amy Acker: On behalf of Saraya - this is our house!