CBAD: Stana Katic vs. Jade Cargill

Tale of the Tape:

Stana Katic (23-6-0, 23 KO)
5'9, 44 years old
Jaguar Title Holder

vs.

Jade Cargill (0-1-0)
5'10, 30 years old

(Written by Celebrity Wrestling Federation/Results by Lookout!)

Intro:
"AND NOW! Making her 30th appearance in the ring, fighting under the Celebrity Wrestling Federation flag. Please welcome the Hamilton, Ontario native, standing 5 foot 9, weighing in at 125 pounds, THE CURRENT JAGUAR TITLE HOLDER, STANAAAAA KAAAAAATIC!!”

Outfits:
Katic's lithe, statuesque frame glistened under the heat of the overhead spotlights as she slid out of her satin robe and revealed every taut, delicate curve of her bronzed skin. Each athletic twist and shimmy of her upper half caused her modest bosom to swell, her teardropping B-cups mushrooming out the top and bottom of the thin-banded tube top belted around her sternum. Katic craned her long stems and dipped into a lewd crouching split, limbering in her corner to some last minute instruction from her corner. Her pale-pink string thong was devoured by jiggling folds of flesh, finally rising and rearranging the twined, biting string bottoms by hiking them high up her hips. Ending her corner show, the brunette arched her rib cage and pressed to her tippy toes against the ropes, throwing her tightly-braided pony tail over her shoulder before pumping her gloved fists together.

As her opponent entered, it became quite clear that Jade Cargill was an entirely different breed of woman. A daunting specimen seemingly sculpted out of stone, Cargill took her time strutting down the runway with good reason; striking a body-builder’s pose every few feet to pump the intimidation tactics and rouse the drooling crowd. The titanic professional wrestler flaunted her showmanship just as much as her body, drinking in the mixture of adulation and insult. Cargill’s compact, muscled frame was wrapped in a pale teal bikini, knee-high leather boots in accompaniment as she slid ringside and bluffed an early overhand cheapshot in Katic’s direction before sidling into her corner.

Round 1:
Though not an official Jaguar Title defense given Cargill’s age, the newly-crowned 40+ Champion came out with sizzling stuff; tearing into the wrestler’s caramel midsection with a relentless barrage of hooks and volleys. Cargill seemed eager to showcase her unflinching abdomen; curling and twisting to take each meaty ‘THUMP’ straight-on with a smile. Lulled to sleep by the rhythm of Katic’s chesty barrage, Jade was suddenly buckled by a stiff riser that caught her chin, sliding right into a heavy follow-up that swept across her shoulders and cracked her skull sideways. The inexperienced Cargill tried to bully a pursuant Katic, hooking the brunette’s armpits and nearly tossing her clean off her feet with an awkward half-suplex before the official stepped in a broke Jade’s grip.

Katic was equally dogged after the reset, snaring a suddenly more cautious Cargill with an invitation to grapple before snapping a winding one-two combination into both sides of her chin. Cargill appeared far too lumbering and robotic to trade with the Champ, wildly swinging through all her offerings and looking increasingly foolish as she grew more desperate. Katic takes a technical first over the bruiser, 10-8.

Round 2/3:
Frustrated at her inability to use sheer force to bully the smaller, older Katic around as she’d seen fit; Cargill stole a witless and brutish second round that saw as many near-infractions as punches landed from either fighter. When the storm had calmed and Cargill had run off most of her pitbull energy and attitude, Katic settled back in for the third with another poised, controlling round. Rinse and repeat, Katic’s balletic invasions were far too quick for Cargill to counter; unable to get off her heels each time the brunette crow-hopped forward and tore through her sculpted midsection with sidewinding hooks and crosses. Continuing to froth and foam with growing frustration, Cargill hissed and uncoiled with a senseless twister across the ring; finally tiring out near the far ropes just to be doubled by another gut-buster from the far more patient Canadian. A thumping straight to the center of her breasts elicited a throaty howl from Cargill, then a pair of clunky hooks to the temple drove her to her back foot. Every question answered thus far from Katic, as she takes another round 10-8.

Round 4:
There was no doubting Cargill’s punching power, but she only grew more dangerous as she became more unbridled. Trailing significantly on the scorecard, the noticeable ‘FIZZ’ of leather lashing through the air with each strike kept growing closer and closer to earshot for Katic. Despite having parried nearly everything the wrestler could muster thus far, the grim reaper finally came knocking for the Canadian. Feeling fleet enough to be untouchable, Katic continued to artfully dance out of the way of the hammers Jade recklessly threw; slide-stepping and arching her belly away from a sweeping hook that targeted her sweat-slicked abdomen. Just as Katic leaned to re-plant her feet, Cargill awkwardly vaulted forward and snapped through a crunchy right quarter-hook that cracked the brunette’s jaw.

Katic’s hazel bulbs fluttered in their sockets as she clumsily misstepped, her long stems crossing before she tumbled into the ropes. Unsure what to do with her first real advantage, Cargill steamrolled through the puddled actress; bodying her into an awkward clinch and driving their intertwined frames into the corner post. Katic throatily exhaled and grimaced as her spine was split by the turnbuckle, windedly hammering a few rabbit punches into Cargill’s shoulder before being lifted off her toes by a stump-pulling uppercut to the navel. The brunette hoarsely squealed as her knees buckled and folded inward, gagging as she folded over Jade’s dipped shoulder, her sternum swelling and heaving as she leaned against the wrestler’s back. Had they been competing between a different set of ropes, Katic would have been primed for a Finisher; but given their awkward twist of limbs, the brunette was able to force a savvy break and circle back toward the other half of the ring. Cargill shows why she has so much promise and raw potential, dominating a 10-8 round to make this a fight.

Round 5:
After a humbling reminder of Cargill’s stopping power, Katic was far more capricious in picking an engagement to start the fifth. Tiptoeing in for a quick nibble, playing with the wrestler’s questionable footwork, feigning and bluffing; Katic unveiled the full arsenal. All the while, Jade continued to swing for the fences. Looking to steal control, Cargill took a long stride forward and twisted through a full-bodied left hook; whizzing just past Katic’s modest chest before she careened through half a rotation with her follow-through. That was all the opening needed for the brunette, who slid forward and buried a pair of piercing uppercuts into the wrestler’s exposed rib cage, taking her lungs. Cargill hoarsely erupted and cranked sideways, folding at the waist before another snappy trio of hooks were stuffed down her throat. Jade was in a full backpedal now, her heels dragging as Katic flurried with torrid overhands, pummeling Cargill’s token defenses until they unraveled completely. Finally a bony left slipped through her forearms, rattling her jaw and sending her sprawling to the canvas on her backside with a meaty bounce.

1… 2… 3… Cargill drunkenly squirmed and floundered on her ass, trying to twist to her side and plant one hand in front of the other, but failing miserably.

4… 5… 6… 7… 8… Working diligently to her elbows, Cargill whimpered as she flexed her muscled midsection and tried to crunch to a seated position, wincing before spilling over on her belly, resigned.

9… 10!!!

"And your winner, by KO in Round 5, STANNNAAAAA KAAAATTIC!!!!”