CBAD: Lindsey Pelas vs. Cardi B

Tale of the Tape (JMD):

Lindsey Pelas (11-14-0, 11 KO)
5'3, 31 years old, 32F

vs.

Cardi B (3-7-0, 3 KO)
5'3, 30 years old, 34DD

(Written by Celebrity Wrestling Federation/Results by Lookout!)

Intro:
"Welcome to this fabulous JMD contest… “

"AND NOW! Making her 26th appearance in the ring, the runner-up in the Princess of the Beach Tournament. Please welcome the Ruston, Louisiana native, standing 5 foot 3, weighing in at 120 pounds, LINDSEYYYYY PEEEEEELAS!!"

Outfits:
Lindsey was meticulously poured into a microscopic bikini that clung to her heavy chest with admirable effort; a fitting attire as she returned to the JMD circuit where she was custom-built to thrive. The thin-banded tube top did little to contain her massive, overflowing F-cups; her heaving orbs swelling as though they were fastened with a belt rather than a bikini top with how much cleavage and underboob was being offered. Her wide, voluptuous hips devoured her string thong bottoms, the biting floss disappearing between her plump cheeks and bronzed folds of flesh as she slid salaciously into the ring.

Cardi B was making her official JMD debut, but her unique assets were certainly dangerous enough to strike fear into just about anyone; or at least a healthy respect. Pelas didn’t appear to be in that camp, as she yapped at Cardi all the way up the ramp. The native New Yorker had plenty of venom to spew right back at the blonde, trading paint with Pelas in a chesty bump as she made her way through the opposing corner. Cardi’s curvy, voluptuous hips and torso were bit into by a string bikini that rivaled Pelas’ in lack-of-coverability; both chests heaving and threatening to burst free as they postured nose-to-nose.

Round 1:
Despite some recent action against rival Nicki Minaj just a month ago, Cardi B was far less practiced in the last few years comparatively. Pelas practically leapt out of her corner and shrouded the retreating singer at the bell, slinging relentless hooks and uppercuts into the brunette’s thick, sturdy midsection. Cardi tried to retaliate by shifting left and scooping a hook into Lindsey’s mammoth jugs, but Pelas simply took the lump and bowled her over; lifting another pair of dynamite shovels into the bottom of Cardi’s tits before walking her all the way across the ring to the far corner.

Frantically searching for any low-hanging fruit, Cardi went below the proverbial belt to stay alive; yanking down on Pelas’ belted tube top, then her loose, dangling locks. The fiery New Yorker twisted and tugged as best she could despite being hindered by her gloves; slinging the hunched, shrieking blonde into the corner ropes before the official finally dove in and pried her loose. Willing to eat the point reduction penalty to stay in the fight, Cardi sneered as Pelas put the broadcast censor to the test; finger-pointing and swearing like a sailor just as the bell separated the two. Pelas takes it by a wide margin, 10-8.

Round 2:
The second round began with even more reprimanding from the official; instructing Cardi to reign in her antics as the singer picked and swatted at Pelas’ hair from afar. Not having learned her lesson from the prior round, Cardi B continued to buzz Lindsey’s tower and try to nab her bouncing locks, chipping away with token jabs to the blonde’s shoulders just to break up her incessant tagging. Finally having had enough, Pelas burst forward and lashed out with a pair of swinging hooks to the body, frustrated as both came up well short and allowed Cardi to slip forward through her wake. The vexing singer once again reached for her golden strands, drawing Lindsey’s full attention before cutting her pecking short and gutting Pelas with a titanic uppercut that tore through the fleshy folds of her belly.

Lindsey lawn-chaired forward as she throatily gagged, planting a palm on the mat as she doubled out the top of her sagging belted bra. Cardi bounced her hip against Lindsey’s shoulder, straightening the mewling blonde for a polishing hook to the cheek that slung her across the ring, careening into the corner post with a meaty thud. Lindsey curled behind her forearms as Cardi pursued, bounced by heavy volleys that rattled off her wrists and biceps, sulking lower with each successive hammer. Finally steadying and responding with a double-jab that cautioned Cardi, Pelas slid out from her positional disadvantage and escaped across the ring, only noticeably dragging now. Cardi B takes a surprising leap back into the fight, 10-8.

Round 3:
Lindsey was surprisingly first off her stool, still breathing heavily but attempting to wake herself back up with a forced jolt of energy to the legs. Playfully bouncing on her toes, Pelas channeled some of the momentum she’d found in the first, erupting on Cardi the second she foolishly wandered close enough for a tie-up. Cardi B was forced to shell up behind a makeshift wall, leaning to her heels as Lindsey exploded with wild, sidewinding hooks and jabs to her ribs. Pelas twisted all her weight behind a seeking right that pierced just below Cardi’s rib cage, eliciting a shrieking squeal from the singer as she contorted sideways at the hip.

Cardi put up both palms to keep Pelas at bay, pawing devilishly at Lindsey’s tightly wrapped chest only to have her arms swatted away with a dismissive scoff. Cardi clumsily stumbled sideways, turning her shoulder to Pelas just as a wide-sweeping left hook burst diagonally into the bottom of her jaw. Cardi’s upper half shook as she stiffened to her toes, shimmying with a violent convulsion before crashing to her backside, sprawled across the canvas.

1… 2… 3… The singer unravelled to her back, arms strewn across the bottom rope as her legs eased into a gangly split, gurgling as she tried to crunch her back off the mat. Her lashes fluttered as she looked up at Pelas, not coherent enough to understand the blonde’s malicious barking from above, finally teetering flat once again.

4… 5… 6… 7… 8… 9… 10!!

"And your winner, by KO in Round 3, LINDSEYYYY PEEEELAAAAAASSS!!!!"


Post Fight:
Lindsey was surgical as the official finally waved off Cardi B; taking a lumbering, careless seat across her panting belly and removing both bikini tops with two quick swipes of her paw. Cardi was too far gone to notice her own bra being slingshot out of the ring, but when Pelas’ titanic chest was bared to vibrating applause, Cardi couldn’t help but shutter and blubber for mercy. Pelas would have none of it, throwing Cardi’s wrists high above her head before scooping the back of her neck and hoisting the singer into her cavernous grave.

Pelas preened with a toothy smile as her opponent’s skull disappeared between her massive, fleshy pillows; shimmying Cardi deeper until her furious twists and bucks slowly grew less frantic. The platinum blonde rode Cardi until her movements slowed to unceremonious spasms and twitches, finally wilting in Pelas’ grasp and sagging back to the canvas as the victorious model threw her hands skyward.