CBAD: Avril Lavigne vs. Hoyeon Jung (FCBA debut)

Avril Lavigne
(38, 5’1 ½, 66:28 FCBA, The Dollhouse)
Vs.
Hoyeon Jung
(28, 5’9, FCBA Debut, Free Agent)

Results: Lookout!; Story: Caspian & The Dollhouse

BEFORE:
"My opponent tonight is...like, freakishly tall…duh!” Avril Lavigne first says from the press table, looking a little smug and sure of herself after recently KO’ing top flyweight and hated rival Cree Cicchino on the November PPV. The Doll continues, smiling: “She's like, the tallest Flyweight in the FCBA, like, ever? Well guess I'm going to knock out the tallest Flyweight ever tonight. Yay. I'm not scared of her height. Ha-young or Yoon-Jung or however the hell you pronounce her name,” Avril giggles, drawing a scowl from the South Korean native across the room. “She’s totally green. I'm sure she's clumsy and uncoordinated and she looks hella weak. I'm not afraid of her offense - she'll crumble like a tower when I f*ck her up. This will be over early tonight bitches."

Hoyeon Jung is of course the model who gained widespread acclaim after her role in the recent Netflix hit television series, ‘Squid Game’. A virtual celebrity in her own right, she’s making her boxing debut tonight against the Dollhouse legend and veteran of the ring, which had some pundits raising their eyebrows when they first heard about the match-up. From her interviews online, the model and actress can converse in proper English, but chooses to stick to her native Korean language at the pre-fight press conference, with a translator seated next to her for the rest of us monolinguists:

(Translated from Korean) "Yes I might be new but I've been training hard for months and I'm going to give Avril a lot of trouble tonight,” Hoyeon says, towering over Avril even while the two women remain seated. “She can pretend my size doesn't bother her but she's very small and she's going to have a big problem in the ring with me whether she admits it or not. I'm not even sure she can reach my face with her short arms to punch me....” This draws some laughter from the room, along with a hard scowl from Lavigne herself. “I hope it will be a good fight for me and I'm hoping to get this big win on my debut." Hoyeon then glances towards Avril, before deciding to switch to English for her final statement: "I am going to beat you UP, little Avril." The amused Korean ends with a chuckle.

Cheers erupt in the room, and for a complete rookie to the ring, it’s quite clear that Avril has picked on a celebrity of equal standing. Ladies meet moments later at the podium and good lord, they weren’t kidding about the height difference! Hoyeon TOWERS over her Canadian opponent by a good 8 inches, and to put it into perspective, it’s like seeing an adult chastising a kid, with Hoyeon’s smirk and both hands planted firmly on her hips. Avril of course is staring back (and upwards) defiantly, doing her best not to be intimidated. But it’s made worse when Hoyeon decides to rub it in, striding as close as possible up to the Dollhouse Queen, forcing her to crane her neck upwards, or risk backing down.

Before the two girls can come to blows, however, the fight officials are on hand to separate them, with Lavigne still heard spouting insults and heretical nonsense that borderline on casual racism from across the room. Hoyeon gives one big, hearty wave to her fans, before disappearing behind a backdoor for their final prep.

Hours later, we’re in the ring proper, as the Staples Centre plays host to a vastly different fanbase tonight. Avril’s fans are of course out in force, tonight’s CBAD match not just about putting another would-be songstress in her place, but against a model at least two heads taller than her. Hoyeon’s fanbase is humongous in its own right, and bolstered by the model’s firm friendship to K-pop mega sensation, Blackpink’s Jenny. The roar of the crowd when Jung’s name is announced is deafening indeed

Avril’s in her usual black and pink gear - sports bra and short tights with matching black gloves. Queen Lavigne is sporting a new shorter haircut, wearing her now shoulder-length blonde hair loose and trying her best not to look at the towering figure in the other corner of the ring. Truth be told, the height difference might be just one thing - the South Korean actress is as thin and lean as they come, which might explain why the official boxing commission was willing to sanction this fight in the first place. Hoyeon is in the other corner – the tall Korean jumping up and down in a white sports bra and blue boxing trunks complete with blue gloves to give off that home country vibe, her black tresses tied in a nice updo.

Referee signals for the bell to start, and HERE WE GO with ten rounds of Flyweight action!

ROUND 1:
Hoyeon’s of course using her insane reach to dictate terms early, a constant stream of long jabs pestering Avril’s guard in the first minute alone. Lavigne surprisingly being the aggressor here, knows she’s at the disadvantage but still eager and willing to wade in there, try and get in close to bring Hoyeon down. The Doll is trying to capitalize off the model’s lack of experience, slipping or blocking around her jab attacks then scoring big overhands or rising shots to Jung’s head, with some early, mixed results. Hoyeon is just not as experienced in there, unable to read the signs till it’s too late. Jung finally starts using her long legs (and not just her longer reach), moving back to maintain her distance, then jabbing away at Avril’s face. Overall, a good contrast of styles from both women, and though Hoyeon takes the round close, Avril’s fans are breathing a sigh of relief at this first contact not looking too bad for the much smaller blonde.

ROUND 2:
Avril keeps to her strategy of fast weaves and faster lunges at Hoyeon. Her lack of reach is making it hard to aim for the model’s chin (let alone the rest of her head), but those practiced hooks are still landing hard on Hoyeon’s arms or ribs, the Canadian singer barreling inwards in the first minute whilst taking multiple flurries to her arms, before shocking Jung with a tight punch to the stomach again. Hoyeon’s in trouble if this harassment keeps up, with her opponent almost too easily negating her height advantage. Jung has thus far concentrated her flurries on Avril’s arms, but finally switches to other parts of Avril’s body and off the top of the head to score brownie points by the bell. So far, it’s still quite an even contest, which might throw the rest of this fight wide open.

ROUND 3:
Lavigne’s doing her very best to brawl, showing off what she’s learned over the past few years and of course, giving a big middle finger to the rest of the pundits who said this match-up was suicide for her. She catches Hoyeon with an early blast to the ribs, almost grazing her cheek after with a sudden swing upwards and wide. Hoyeon lets out a grunt as she barely intercepts the hook, getting pushed towards the side as she struggles to keep pace with the veteran fighter. Lavigne attempts to push inwards in the final minute, continuing to target the Korean’s lean body, with Hoyeon now realizing she’s in danger and protecting her chest and face a little more with those locked arms. Fine by Avril, who pounds and lunges away at her lean and thin torso, driving another uppercut into her stomach to force the clinch forward in those final seconds. Hoyeon tries to survive the Doll’s onslaught by a hair, using her bigger size to wrestle with Avril along the ropes. Almost a comical sight - almost - as Hoyeon’s size practically smothers the smaller blonde, who’s trapped in her grasp. Bell rings and Lavigne is NOT happy, shoving off and storming back to her corner. She knows she’s won this round wide, but was clearly hoping for that early knockdown attempt.

ROUND 4:
Hoyeon needs to adapt, or risk embarrassing everyone else who identifies with her taller stature. The model and actress has been receiving constant advice from her fight team in the corner, and at the start of the fourth, decides to make a break for it, skirting to the side instead of meeting Avril head on. Smart move, as Lavigne has a bigger distance to cover before her fists get within range of her targets. Meanwhile, Hoyeon is not just blindly firing away at the Doll’s arms this time, instead choosing her shots clean and deliberate, especially when Avril appears to wind up for a big hook or swing, thereby leaving her face wide open. Those fists landing to the Doll’s face begin to add up, as left-right combinations sting the lips or press straight into the nostrils. Avril’s own assault gets blunted in minute two when another of her hooks sails harmlessly right under the Korean’s chin as the rookie shows some nice head movement, but Hoyeon is too long! She catches Lavigne instead with a step-in COUNTER-BLAST to the cheek, then another right cross driven straight into her mouth to send her FLYING to the ropes! Poor Avril bounces against the ropes and gets absolutely CLOCKED by a long hook to the cheek from the Korean beauty and the Doll COLLAPSES to the ground in a heap under the ropes and left staring up at the stadium lights. And with the Korean giantess left towering over her, the shell-shocked Lavigne is no doubt regretting her life choices right now as the noise in the arena hits new highs! KNOCKDOWN FOR HOYEON JUNG!

Crowd is on their feet and CHEERING for Hoyeon’s early success, with the South Korean fighter already touring the four corners of the ring with a huge smile and a hand raised high. Things aren’t looking too good for the smaller Doll, even as Avril slowly pushes her way back up, a deep scowl on her face! She recovers by the count of 8, and vows to keep fighting!

ROUND 5:
Another bad round for the Dollhouse Queen, who finally tastes the unfair advantage she herself agreed to prior. Hoyeon just needed time to warm up to this boxing thing, now better using her punching skills and feet movement to greater effect, constantly pressuring Avril back with rapid combinations to her head and body, then doing her best to move out of range whenever there’s a flare up of spirit from within Lavigne. Bad news for Avril, with her opponent better able to predict her intentions in the ring. She spends the majority of the round just covering up and trying to stay alive, at one point her back hitting the ropes, eyes wide open as she ducked under a big swing that came in from Jung, just barely. I guess that’s ONE benefit of being so much shorter than your foe! Hoyeon takes this round via shutout performance, and we don’t think she took ANY damage during these three minutes!

ROUND 6:
Hoyeon’s found her groove, but the question is: will it be enough to make up for her lack of experience? Or does Miss Lavigne have more tricks up her sleeve? First minute and Lavigne is still playing it defensively, no doubt instructed by her own corner to cool it off and look for weaknesses in Jung’s defenses. It’s a little hard to scan for defects when your vision is filled with a constant stream of jabs, as Hoyeon presses in and looks to finish off her earlier job. But Avril hasn’t just improved over the years in terms of stamina and punching power. The Doll is blocking the attacks more often with her guard, then trying to reach under and around to the side with a hook-in-waiting, stunning Jung back off the side of her body and side-arms, much to her dismay. Avril’s fighting smarter as time goes on, and it’s working! Hoyeon gets stopped in her tracks near the end of the round, a one-two combo catching her on either side of her ribs, causing her to grimace in pain.

ROUND 7:
And we’re headed into the seventh round! Both fighters are visibly tiring, and we dare say it’s been one of Lavigne’s most challenging CBAD fights to date! First minute and both girls are moving in warily, with Avril taking her own sweet time for Jung to make the first move. Hoyeon’s fires away on newbie instinct, doesn’t see that that’s exactly what Avril wants her to do! Those jabs are landing on the Doll’s guard, mostly harmlessly, as Avril times her counterattacks down to a tee: a swift hook banging into the Korean girl’s stomach, then another blasting Hoyeon to the side after it lands on her upper torso. Bit by bit, Hoyeon’s the one getting walked down to the ropes, the lanky model unable to fathom what she’s doing wrong in there! Lavigne sends another overhand CRASHING to the center of her arms, drawing a loud grunt as Hoyeon collapses into the ropes… and it’s a prime moment for the Doll to POUNCE!! Lavigne gnashing her teeth and growling as she jumps in and WAILS away at the lean girl’s body, finally WELL within her reach, as lefts and rights get buried in her torso!! Hoyeon looks HELPLESS in there, trying to shove her assailant off or wrap her arms around Avril’s shoulders, but Avril keeps her arms low and central, elbows chugging away at the undercarriage, each blast to the body folding Hoyeon further and further over in half! It seems like this was ALL part of Avril’s plan, getting in close to CUT the taller girl down in size, with Hoyeon’s chin finally within range! Avril unleashes a big, pulled back HOOK to the jawline, snapping Hoyeon’s hapless face to the side, then another to the other, in BRUTAL payback! A third hook to the cheek sends the poor rookie SPIRALING off to the side, Jung hunched over and quickly losing her balance, before collapsing into a heap by the ropes! It’s a return KNOCKDOWN for Avril Lavigne, who looks insanely proud of her achievement!

And she should be! Rookie or not, facing off against a giantess like Jung was a challenge in its own right, with Lavigne still smiling smugly while parading her way back to the neutral corner! Meanwhile, Jung is stirring, but just barely, making it up to all fours, but her head is still hanging loose in what must be unimaginable, throbbing pain. The referee’s count reaches 8 and she’s barely pawing up at the top rope, the rest of her body shaking and straining under duress. Finally, he reaches the count of 10, and has no choice but to wave this fight off! It’s OVER!

Official Decision: Avril Lavigne defeats Hoyeon Jung via KO7!

AFTER:
A tired looking Lavigne grinning and raising both arms into the air screaming “yeaaaahhh bitchess!!!” as the bell sounds, her fans going wild at their idol finally taking down the rookie giantess in 7 long rounds.
The blonde songstress continues her celebration parading the ring while Jung’s team get busy trying to help their fallen fighter get back to her feet, which she valiantly does shortly after.
In a rare feat of respect - Lavigne shocks both the crowd and her opponent tonight by putting her gloves up in front of Jung in a friendly gesture and the two fighters glove-bump in the center of the ring to loud cheers from the fans before finally going their separate ways.

Hoyeon Jung has certainly made an impressive debut tonight, pushing a veteran like Lavigne to 7 rounds including scoring an early knockdown on the Canadian in the 4th in what was one of the blonde’s toughest fights to date against a first-timer. The Korean surely opened a lot of eyes tonight fighting at Flyweight with her giantess stature and under the right management this model turned actress can probably turn into a real terror in the ring if she chooses to continue fighting at this weight, with her 5’9 ft of height, long arms and scary reach.

The Korean beauty graceful in defeat, not feeling too down on herself for losing to a top flyweight veteran on her debut. She spends some time thanking her many fans in the arena tonight with a bow and a smile before finally exiting the ring, her future in the FCBA still shrouded in mystery.

As for Queen Lavigne, the victorious blonde marches out of the arena with yet another win in her pocket and keeps her schedule busy as she’s slated to fight debutant singer Jessie Reyez next weekend before she’ll have her hands full with this year’s final boss in the form of Dove Cameron at the end of the month. Stay tuned!