Post by Boxing World Online on Aug 11, 2016 5:18:14 GMT -6
Our reporter and his blonde companion sit in the Man In The Hat's office at Front Street, their backs turned to the desk, eyes on the big screen TV on the office's back wall. "The FCBA Today With Alison Brie" is returning from its final commercial break.
Alison: "And, we're back with our guests, Avril Lavigne and Emma Roberts, and, ladies, it's time to get to it. Let's talk about this month's Asylum card!"
Emma: "Well, Alison, we're going to be featuring several bouts at bantamweight this time around, and we'll start there, with the lovely Natalie Martinez making her return to an FCBA ring against Allison 'Mack The Knife' Mack!"
Avril: "And, we're going to stay at bantamweight after that to see the long-awaited FCBA debut of the stunning Monica Raymund, who'll be battling 'The Queen of Front Street', Pink!"
Emma: "Now, we aren't going to have ALL bantamweight bouts, of course, so, we'll move up to welterweight for our next contest, which will feature the first of our guest stables, Beever's Babes, in the person of Cat Deeley, and Cat will be climbing into the ring with 'The Scandinavian Stunner', Antje Utgaard!"
Avril: "Then, we'll move on to flyweight, where former JMD Champion Jennette McCurdy of Beever's Babes will make her Asylum debut against 'The Marco Island Mauler', Leighton Meester!"
Emma: "Then, we're back to bantam for the first of a pair of rematches, this one featuring Tracy Spiridakos of our friends and neighbors at Bazz in a second go-round with 'The Houston Solution', Leven Rambin!"
Avril: "And, then it's back to welter for that second rematch, featuring international superstar and power-hitter Rihanna of Beever's Babes against 'Six Feet of Sexy', Kesha!"
Alison: "That sounds like a great card, as always!"
Emma: "No doubt about it, and tickets will be gone before you know it."
Avril: "They go on sale on the Front Street website as soon as we leave the air, and, Emma's right, they're going to go fast, so, get yours now and join us in Philly, or, join Jennifer O'Dell, Jenny McCarthy, Tess Valmore and Cassie Scerbo on HBO for 'The Babes Are Back At The Asylum!'"
The credits then begin to roll with the closing theme music behind them. The ladies talk and laugh with their mics potted down as this goes on. The reporters turn around to face the desk.
Reporter: "It's been awhile since Beever's Babes has been here..."
Man In The Hat: "Other than Bazz, they're probably our most frequent guest, and we like it that way. Lots of great talent over there."
Tess: "McCurdy won't be a walk in the park for Meester..."
Man In The Hat: "We like McCurdy a lot. Thought of signing her ourselves a couple of times. Girl's going places. Leighton may be, too. She's had a good year. Done some important things. Follow up now and she'd be in the title picture. If, of course, Cassandra Lynn weren't holding the belts."
Reporter: "Deeley and Utgaard is a poster fight..."
Man In The Hat: "It's more than that. Cat's the kind of girl we want to challenge Antje with. She's a veteran. She's a good boxer. She'll try to use her length and ring savvy to cause a less-experienced girl problems. We want Antje to find ways to deal with that kind of thing."
Tess: "Are you making a push with Kesha? This looks like a Front Street push...following the win over Bloodgood with a fight against Rihanna..."
Man In The Hat: "No. This isn't about that. Again. We're still dabblin' at welter, and, in fact, the plan was to fight Kesha at light the rest of the year, because that's a title we may just BE pushing for. But. Big K has wanted a rematch for a long time. She remembers the first fight. And, she wants to get that win back."
Reporter: "Speaking of rematches, Spiridakos really handed Leven her head the first time they fought..."
Man In The Hat: "She did. But. This is a different Leven. You've seen the progress Ms. Rambin has made this year. That being said, Tracy's a big challenge. For anybody. She earned a draw with Gracie and then beat her in the rematch, and Gracie was bantamweight champion. Tracy's top shelf. What we want to see is how this different Leven handles that."
Tess (smiling): "Rumor has it you came close to signing Monica Raymund..."
Man In The Hat: "Well, I won't comment other than to say it was no secret she was on our short list. She's definitely got the goods. We're pleased to be able to break her in. She's a physical challenge for Pinkness, and that's what this one is all about."
Reporter: "What's Mack/Martinez all about. THAT looks like a stay busy."
Man In The Hat: "No stay busy fights around here, as I've told you many times. All fights are purpose fights. The purpose here is, again, physical. Natalie's a physical girl and we want Knife in against that kind of opponent. That's why we made the fight. Now, Tess is starting to look hungry. And, Chef has the grill out. He's doing steaks tonight..."
Tess: "Let's GO!"
Alison: "And, we're back with our guests, Avril Lavigne and Emma Roberts, and, ladies, it's time to get to it. Let's talk about this month's Asylum card!"
Emma: "Well, Alison, we're going to be featuring several bouts at bantamweight this time around, and we'll start there, with the lovely Natalie Martinez making her return to an FCBA ring against Allison 'Mack The Knife' Mack!"
Avril: "And, we're going to stay at bantamweight after that to see the long-awaited FCBA debut of the stunning Monica Raymund, who'll be battling 'The Queen of Front Street', Pink!"
Emma: "Now, we aren't going to have ALL bantamweight bouts, of course, so, we'll move up to welterweight for our next contest, which will feature the first of our guest stables, Beever's Babes, in the person of Cat Deeley, and Cat will be climbing into the ring with 'The Scandinavian Stunner', Antje Utgaard!"
Avril: "Then, we'll move on to flyweight, where former JMD Champion Jennette McCurdy of Beever's Babes will make her Asylum debut against 'The Marco Island Mauler', Leighton Meester!"
Emma: "Then, we're back to bantam for the first of a pair of rematches, this one featuring Tracy Spiridakos of our friends and neighbors at Bazz in a second go-round with 'The Houston Solution', Leven Rambin!"
Avril: "And, then it's back to welter for that second rematch, featuring international superstar and power-hitter Rihanna of Beever's Babes against 'Six Feet of Sexy', Kesha!"
Alison: "That sounds like a great card, as always!"
Emma: "No doubt about it, and tickets will be gone before you know it."
Avril: "They go on sale on the Front Street website as soon as we leave the air, and, Emma's right, they're going to go fast, so, get yours now and join us in Philly, or, join Jennifer O'Dell, Jenny McCarthy, Tess Valmore and Cassie Scerbo on HBO for 'The Babes Are Back At The Asylum!'"
The credits then begin to roll with the closing theme music behind them. The ladies talk and laugh with their mics potted down as this goes on. The reporters turn around to face the desk.
Reporter: "It's been awhile since Beever's Babes has been here..."
Man In The Hat: "Other than Bazz, they're probably our most frequent guest, and we like it that way. Lots of great talent over there."
Tess: "McCurdy won't be a walk in the park for Meester..."
Man In The Hat: "We like McCurdy a lot. Thought of signing her ourselves a couple of times. Girl's going places. Leighton may be, too. She's had a good year. Done some important things. Follow up now and she'd be in the title picture. If, of course, Cassandra Lynn weren't holding the belts."
Reporter: "Deeley and Utgaard is a poster fight..."
Man In The Hat: "It's more than that. Cat's the kind of girl we want to challenge Antje with. She's a veteran. She's a good boxer. She'll try to use her length and ring savvy to cause a less-experienced girl problems. We want Antje to find ways to deal with that kind of thing."
Tess: "Are you making a push with Kesha? This looks like a Front Street push...following the win over Bloodgood with a fight against Rihanna..."
Man In The Hat: "No. This isn't about that. Again. We're still dabblin' at welter, and, in fact, the plan was to fight Kesha at light the rest of the year, because that's a title we may just BE pushing for. But. Big K has wanted a rematch for a long time. She remembers the first fight. And, she wants to get that win back."
Reporter: "Speaking of rematches, Spiridakos really handed Leven her head the first time they fought..."
Man In The Hat: "She did. But. This is a different Leven. You've seen the progress Ms. Rambin has made this year. That being said, Tracy's a big challenge. For anybody. She earned a draw with Gracie and then beat her in the rematch, and Gracie was bantamweight champion. Tracy's top shelf. What we want to see is how this different Leven handles that."
Tess (smiling): "Rumor has it you came close to signing Monica Raymund..."
Man In The Hat: "Well, I won't comment other than to say it was no secret she was on our short list. She's definitely got the goods. We're pleased to be able to break her in. She's a physical challenge for Pinkness, and that's what this one is all about."
Reporter: "What's Mack/Martinez all about. THAT looks like a stay busy."
Man In The Hat: "No stay busy fights around here, as I've told you many times. All fights are purpose fights. The purpose here is, again, physical. Natalie's a physical girl and we want Knife in against that kind of opponent. That's why we made the fight. Now, Tess is starting to look hungry. And, Chef has the grill out. He's doing steaks tonight..."
Tess: "Let's GO!"