Angelina Jolie versus Eva Mendes

Angelina Jolie vs Eva Mendes
(Mirage Boxing vs Lioness Club of America)
(14-20, 8 KO vs 29-20-1, 24 KO)
Results: Lookout!; Story: Vassago

BEFORE: It's been a while since Angelina Jolie last tasted victory in the boxing ring - you have to go all the way back to 2009 to find it - but due to her Hollywood A-list status she still finds work in the FCBA and retains her Mirage management. Meanwhile things don't look all that positive for Eva Mendes as the popular Miami native has to battle rumours about her being replaced on the Lioness Club roster by a younger fighter. That's despite Nicole Scherzinger's horrible losing streak which actually makes the former Pussycat Dolls singer the primary candidate for release but there's little question the LCA bantamweight corps is by far the worst of the entire lot and Mendes' career has stalled over the past couple of years. Can she even beat a woman born after 1980 anymore?

Angelina Jolie wears a red one-piece swimsuit and black gloves. Long dark brown hair pulled back behind the ears. Eva Mendes wears a violet one-piece swimsuit with a leopard trim and white gloves. Long dark brown hair straight. The fight is scheduled for ten rounds in the bantamweight division.

Round 1:
The lack of uptempo swinging is more than understandable in a fight featuring a couple of women north side of 40 however Angelina shows more agility as she bunny hops around the fellow brunette and picks her off with a lot of composure during the opening minute. Mendes seemingly doesn't think someone who hasn't won in eight years can actually hurt her but the guard gets exposed under pressure and Jolie knocks some proper juice on target as she keeps landing these punches. Eva gets stuck on her heels and she can't hit back at Jolie whatsoever and gets reeled onto the ropes which only then ignotes her recovery. She shows a couple of nifty moves to escape from the dangerous position however Angelina still whacks her on the ear with a left hook and grazes the brow ridge which throws the older brunette off balance. Mendes wobbles back on the ropes again yet Jolie can't deliver the smashing hit when she needs it the most and gets clinched into a stalemate instead wasting a golden opportunity to punish her rival right at the end of the round.

Round 2:
Mendes simply must pick up the tempo here and she follows coach Claudia Schiffer's advice to rally around Jolie's aerial attack which finds no connection whatsoever. She then jumps into a counter-punching drill from the left side and nails the fellow brunette on the temple before switching low and piercing the breadbasket which caves Jolie behind a hectic guard. A flurry of Mendes punches bounces off the mitts thereafter but the sheer amount of pressure backs Angelina butt-in-ropes and she can only clinch the Latin woman into a stalemate just past the two minute mark. Ref allows Eva to resume the onslaught as Angelina doesn't have the speed to escape from the ropes and eats more hooks on the temple which drop her behind an earmuff cover for good. Mendes lacks power to slam through the desperate high guard and really punish the fellow actress; she has to settle for artistic impression value as she keeps Jolie buried on the ropes for remainder of the round.

Round 3:
Jolie wants to resume the steady offensive drill she explored in the opening round but misses the initial approach as she bounces off the top of Mendes' forehead before getting WHACKED with a vicious cross on the nose. Ugh! That's the biggest shot any of these two cougars landed tonight and it immediately reels Angelina on her heels and what's worse, she starts to leak that familiar red fluid from her nose! Eva's eyes flare up as she notices the damage she's just inflicted and rains punches from point-blank range while Jolie can't move herself to safety and soaks up all the juice in the middle of the ring. Mendes finds the neccessary precision when she needs it the most and rocks Angie's head repeatedly and it doesn't take a lot to break the resilience of someone who hasn't won in eight years! Jolie begins to gurgle in discomfort as her guard is unable to block anything now; she drops back to the ropes while still eating punches on the fly so that a couple of nasty bruises appear on each cheek come the final stretch. Eva's head hunting attack doesn't prove lethal at this stage but the pure accuracy of the workload bends a yelping Angelina forward and while she's unable to clinch the Lioness brunette, a brutal uppercut tags her on the jaw and half-spins against the ropes right at the bell.

Round 4:
Angelina's defense has been exposed and Eva stalks the younger brunette with more head hunting shots early in the fourth. Since Jolie fails to match her opponent's footwork, she gets tangled up in another close range dust-up and succumbs to Mendes' relentless and effective drill. Her head snaps backwards one time after another and the patched-up nose begins to leak blood again which really dents her fighting spirit. Mendes hauls in more jabs on target and bumps the fellow actress to the ropes where she scythes across her wounded nose again and delivers another brutal strike on the nasal ridge. That one makes Jolie scream out in pain and she bellows out on the ropes with her gloves sliding across her body so that another Mendes hook on the chin relieves her from more misery... ANGELINA GOES DOWN; she tumbles on her backside in the corner and rolls onto her side moments later... the count is a foregone conclusion since the hapless brunette remains crippled on the canvas with zero chance of recovery. KO4 Eva Mendes!!!

AFTER: While bantam remains LCA's worst division, Eva simply refuses to accept her time in the FCBA universe has passed. She's won her last three fights now and apparently nobody should care about the strenght of schedule. Admittedly she's no longer considered a sleeper pick for a title run but unless someone punches her into retirement, she's not going anywhere. Moreover, Nicole Scherzinger's woeful losing streak is actually Mendes' best back-up option to extend her career as LCA's top bantamweight. The only real unknown? The Lioness drafting proccess for a younger replacement which has taken a little longer than originally anticipated - especially with Nina Dobrev off the market... again.

Final result: Eva Mendes def. Angelina Jolie KO4.