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Post by Punchaholics Anonymous on Aug 23, 2016 1:48:03 GMT -6
"...and while Punchaholics Anonymous will be unveiling these events soon, we are pleased to announce our upcoming event... Punchfest '15 III."
"Is that a mistake? We're closer to 2017 at this point."
"A great deal of the 2015 budget was spent on branding. Graphics, focus groups, etc. While the name did generate a great deal of discussion at first, in the end management's decision was very firm. The original name stays. On a less controversial topic, Punchaholics Anonymous has released the final card, date, and location."
The press release listed four fights; Trish Stratus vs Pamela Anderson, Xenia Seeberg vs Paget Brewster, Missy Hyatt vs Lisa Nicole Carson, and Sarah Jessica Parker vs Celine Dion. The combatants were of the average quality viewers had come to expect from PF15. Buried slightly deeper in the press release was the location of the event, a smaller venue than the previous one. Additionally, Rose McGowan would be returning to her position as referee.
On fight night, the energy in the venue was high, but the crowd's anticipation of the action was mixed with anticipation of whatever catastrophe would derail the action. However, the minimal setup was catastrophe free -- the chain link barrier enclosing the ring failed to collapse, no members of the audience on the upper level plummeted to their doom, and all of the fighters showed up.
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Post by Punchaholics Anonymous on Aug 23, 2016 1:58:43 GMT -6
Trish Stratus vs Pamela Anderson (JMD)   The first two fighters did nothing to disguise their mutual dislike. Pamela Anderson had been particularly vocal in the days leading up to the fight. "Trish was always wrestling's attempt to make a few bucks stealing my look. Obviously they couldn't get me in the ring... I had things to do! Acting, knocking out famous women... they had to get a cheap knockoff. So of course I'd love to beat her ass!" Trish Stratus had given the usual predictions of total domination earlier, but took it further after hearing of Anderson's personal attack. "I'm amazed that those balloons on her chest haven't popped yet. I mean, she gets smacked around really hard every time she fights. Well, I think it's about time!" The ramp leading from backstage to the enclosed ring was separated from the audience by a railing and a few guards. Fortunately, the unnecessarily gigantic pyrotechnic display coinciding with the first entrance completely destroyed the night vision of everyone in the poorly lit arena, preventing any threats to the first fighter's safety. A beaming Rose McGowan, wearing a black and white one piece -- vertical stripes on top, black on bottom, high waist, rhinestones all over -- black pumps, also featuring rhinestones, a clip on bow tie (smaller rhinestones giving a different effect in the poorly planned light), and a tiny top hat pinned to her head at an angle, led out Pamela Anderson by the hand. The busty fighter was clad in a classic high cut red one piece, with gloves on her fists decorated in an American flag pattern. Anderson waved to the crowd as they blinked and tried to find her. McGowan helped Anderson up the steps, then waved goodbye, bouncing back up the ramp to meet the other fighter. Trish Stratus appeared from backstage, waiting for the pyrotechnic display to appear. When it failed to show up at all (possibly an intentional last minute fix, or perhaps an equipment failure) she sighed, took McGowan's hand, and made her way to the ring. Stratus wore a teal one piece, with white gloves, and made her way into the ring while Anderson glared. McGowan kept one eye on the fighters while locking the cage, dramatically stowing the key down her neckline. Round 1: Thinking the same thought, both fighters rushed each other while McGowan was occupied. After a few moments of brawling, the bell rang. McGowan shrugged and moved to a better position while keeping a safe distance. Now warmed up, Stratus attempted to make good on her threat, punching straight at Anderson's chest. Anderson rewarded Stratus with a surprised flinch and a near wardrobe malfunction, swinging back at her rival only to absorb a matching blow from the wrestler. McGowan showed no interest in preventing the fouls, so Anderson gritted her teeth and did her best to put a dent in the berserk wrestler's chest herself. Aside from the suddenly raised stakes, the first round was lacking in big plays, though Stratus may have edged out Anderson through the surprise factor. Round 2: Now that the fighters had agreed on the de facto rules of the match, they charged each other immediately, attacking to overwhelm the other woman with little regard for tactics. Both women landed and received brutal blows to the face and chest, clearly putting off some of the pain for later and concentrating on the task at hand. In this bruising game of chicken, Stratus blinked first, parrying a blow aimed at the side of her head and retreating, and Anderson chased after her, swinging and landing hook to her chest. Anderson pummeled Stratus' body badly, leaving her mark all over and leaving Stratus to hug her injured torso during the break. Round 3: Stratus committed more fully to slugging it out in the third round, fearlessly trading swings with Anderson for the duration, but still couldn't catch a break. One minute, Anderson was crushing Stratus' midsection with a rising punch, making the wrestler gasp and putting stop to what had seconds earlier looked like a promising offensive push. The next, Stratus threw a near miss that grazed Anderson's ear, punished an instant later as the taller actress rushed into the opening, slugging her chest up close and chasing her back. McGowan's applause at the end of the round, despite being ostensibly neutral, was clearly aimed at Anderson. Round 4: Anderson moved in for the kill against a battered but extremely stubborn Stratus in the fourth round. No doubt the results were worse than the actress had intended; Stratus was as feisty as ever, bashing Anderson on the jaw hard enough to knock her off balance in the opening, and firmly crushing some bouncy silicone with her follow up. As before, going head to head was costly and painful for Stratus; the wrestler absorbed a good number of heavy straight punches while trying to position herself for those vital close range attacks on her rival's chest. Overall, no way to give either woman an advantage on points, but a high chance that damage inflicted in this round might decide the fight one way or the other. Round 5: In the fourth round, Anderson reacted more slowly, her movements occasionally limited as she avoided positions that put pressure on her injured body and bust. Stratus fired at her injured rival with everything in her arsenal, spending plenty of time simply punching the weakened woman's guard, but devastating the actress when hitting her mark, particularly when she positioned herself to play against the woman's injuries. Anderson holds up as best she can, but Stratus still gets consecutive blows to the face and chest, leaving Anderson disheveled and dazed at the bell. Round 6: Anderson stumbled out of her corner in the sixth round, facing an extremely pleased Trish Stratus. Taking her time, the confident wrestler stepped away as Anderson threw an inaccurate haymaker. Smirking and winding up, Stratus fired off a right hook at Anderson, allowing the dazed woman to see it coming before it struck the side of her face. Stratus' left handed follow up struck Anderson in the mouth before she could move an inch, leaving the actress upright but off balance, blinking and pawing weakly at empty air. Effortlessly shoving her way past Anderson's guard, the vicious wrestler awkwardly cupped one of Anderson's breasts from the top, holding it in place and then crushing it with an uppercut. Anderson howled in pain for a moment, clutching her chest with both arms, before Stratus clubbed her under the chin. Instantly silenced, Anderson toppled backwards, landing spread eagled on her back, flag print gloved hands up. The beaten actress was nearly motionless, and a few seconds later the jiggling stopped as well. McGowan made a big show of the slow ten count, but from the moment of impact it was obvious that Stratus was the winner by KO6. McGowan and Stratus had a minor conflict after the fight; the referee wanted to fawn over the winner, while the winner was not done playing with the still unconscious Anderson. Eventually, Stratus politely but firmly disentangled herself from McGowan's side hug, then pulled Anderson upright, hugging her and supporting all of the limp bodied woman's weight, motioning McGowan to help. McGowan trotted forward excitedly, wrapping her arms around Anderson from behind under the armpits. Anderson's head fell forward, rolling back and forth each time McGowan breathed, her arms straight down, and her knees were bent as the shorter woman could only hold her so high. However, McGowan only had to do her job for a moment. Stratus took Anderson by the head, then took a run at the barrier, leaping up to plant both feet on the top rope. Kicking off, Stratus plummeted to the ground as McGowan bailed and Anderson was forced face down into the mat. Stratus, in mid air, tugged Anderson's head back, causing the helpless woman to absorb the devastating impact on the mat with her chest. A few fans, recognizing the classic finisher, chant "Stra-tus-fac-tion!" followed by the required five claps. At this point, event staff attempted to play Stratus off award show style, turning the music up and cutting in ring mics as a subtle hint. Stratus, looking pouty, tried to stall for a chance to smother out a conscious Anderson, but Anderson escaped this fate by refusing to wake up in the first place. Stratus frowned, then pounced on top of Anderson, straddling her stomach and subjecting the actress' face to her cleavage as violently as possible, bouncing around on top of the unresponsive woman. Finally, Stratus made her disappointment clear by raising Anderson's head, then bringing a gloved fist down on her nose, bouncing the back of her head against the mat. The wrestler then stormed out, leaving McGowan to drag Anderson away before the next match. Weeks later, when doctors confirmed that the only permanent damage to Anderson was to her reputation as a fighter, the actress lashed out, calling Trish Stratus a "disgraceful cheater" and the event a "worthless joke." Stratus was quick to shoot back, demanding that Anderson face her again under any rules she liked. Anderson, likely unable to come up with a venue willing to host her that she had not dismissed days earlier as "worthless," was slow to reply. |
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Post by Punchaholics Anonymous on Aug 23, 2016 2:06:05 GMT -6
Xenia Seeberg vs Paget Brewster   As McGowan dragged Anderson up the ramp by the ankles, Xenia Seeberg, returning veteran of PF15 I, made her entrance. Wearing a maroon bikini, red gloves, and a big smile, the actress stepped over Anderson and made her way towards the ring. McGowan hastily abandoned her cargo at the top of the ramp and quickly attached herself to Seeberg's side, while a few stagehands stealthily pulled Anderson out of sight as the audience focused elsewhere. During the opening ceremonies, an interviewer had snagged Seeberg for a few questions. "I had a lot of fun the last time I was here!" the blonde actress laughed. "I don't think Jenna did, but somebody has to lose!" Seeberg was confident about her chances. "I'm sure the fans will enjoy seeing me give Paget a nice rough beating!" Brewster herself was present, but more focused on mingling and making a good impression for the cameras. She had, however, referred to Seeberg as "trash" the previous week, and had completely dismissed the idea that the blonde could come close to competing with her in the ring. The brunette's entrance was tidier due to Anderson's absence, but otherwise unremarkable. Brewster looked quite impressive in her green bikini and red bloves, with McGowan on her arm as a pretty accessory. However, the brunette's shapely, strong body did not diminish Seeberg's confidence; the blonde pantomimed walloping Brewster once, then turned to blow kisses to the crowd. Round 1: McGowan, doing a better job at maintaining the illusion of order, prevented the fighters from attacking before the signal. At the bell, of course, neither fighter held back. The two women were evenly matched on reach, with Brewster edging Seeberg out on build. Early on, neither woman could find an opening as her rival would inevitably drive her back. Later, Brewster took control, landing solid, well aimed blows to her opponent's head, but requiring a great deal of positioning and effort for each small victory. Seeberg, meanwhile, earned credit as a stubborn, effective speed bump, bashing Brewster's nose when the brunette attacked too carelessly and making her work for every success. Her efforts failed to take back control from Brewster, however. Round 2: Brewster went on the attack in the second round, swinging at Seeberg confidently at every opportunity. Seeberg, in contrast, held back, picking her shots and playing keep away when she didn't like her chances. Overall, this contrast led to Seeberg retreating under heavy fire, collecting bruises. Seeberg's bombs that connected did seem to leave Brewster in less than top shap -- if nothing else, pale skin shows marks better. Round 3: The hard punching blonde's efforts paid off in the third round; Brewster was slightly less cavalier about going head to head, and slightly less accurate when she did attack. However, Seeberg was not in any position to relax, as Brewster proved near the halfway mark, pushing against the blonde and pummeling her sides hard enough to make her gasp. Overall, Seeberg came out ahead, fighting more effectively at arm's length and leaving Brewster's puffier face as proof. Round 4: Continued skirmishing went poorly for Brewster in the fourth, as Seeberg proved herself slightly more slippery under fire, and slightly more accurate, catching Brewster straight on several times. When the blonde slammed her right fist into Brewster's nose, the abuse proved to be too much for the brunette to handle. She fell backwards into a sitting position, both hands covering her face, then collapsed on her back, trembling. Seeberg let out an excited cry and pumped one fist in the air, laughing and relaxing her arms. She casually strolled over to Brewster, kneeling down and raising a fist to finish the job, only to pout as McGowan pulled her aside. The referee stood on her toes to whisper in the disappointed fighter's ear, and she immediately cheered up, nodding agreeably. McGowan began to count. Brewster, meanwhile, would not cooperate, and was crawling towards her corner. Seeberg found this amusing at first, but changed her mind when Brewster pulled herself upright before McGowan could count nine. Once again, the referee used all of her charm to separate the increasingly irate blonde, giving Brewster a slow eight count before giving the signal. Seeberg, furious, would have taken Brewster's head off with her first punch if the brunette had failed to cover herself up. Instead, the blonde threw punches non stop until the bell, against a purely defensive opponent, occasionally leaning on the ropes. Round 5: Brewster, still dizzy, stumbled into battle with predictable results. After Seeberg's opening punch zipped through the brunette's guard, abruptly halting her unsteady advance, the blonde stepped in to hammer Brewster's midsection, sending the dazed actress into a full retreat. There was no real path to victory for the brunette at the moment, but she kept moving and managed to resist on occasion, even as McGowan watched Seeberg shout threats past bared teeth and back them up with her fists. Round 6: With some time passed since her catastrophic fall, Brewster was hanging on, but not making progress. Seeberg, obviously frustrated by this, had continued with hrr standard strategy, throwing heavy but reckless punches and overwhelming her opponent to prevent a response. This time, Brewster changed the script without warning, lunging forward to meet Seeberg and throwing her own haymaker. Surprised, Seeberg missed her target and caught the brunette's fist on the side of her jaw. Taking a faltering step sideways to steady herself as her eyes uncrossed, Seeberg doubled down, engaging Brewster in a messy, direct battle. Both women fought as if they expected the next punch to end the fight, but in the end neither fighter had maneuvered well enough for a good shot, resulting in plenty of pain on each side but no decisive blow. Seeberg, despite doing plenty of damage, was certainly displeased with the result. Round 7: Instead of one fighter on her last legs, now there were two. Seeberg, hurt but still performing well, jabbed at Brewster briskly, landing the odd indirect hit and keeping herself out of harm's way. Brewster, for the moment, had similar plans, giving Seeberg back the same treatment with equivalent results. As the round progressed, the fighting intensified, and while neither woman seemed eager to make an all or nothing play, both had difficulty extracting themselves from the battle as it escalated. At the end of the round, the two were trading swings at full speed. Seeberg struck Brewster dead on in the jaw after several stumbles, but the brunette survived, pressing on and punching the side of the blonde's head, the strength of the impact easy to see as Seeberg faltered, cried out, and collapsed on her side. McGowan quickly hopped between the two women, starting the count immediately. Brewster merely watched, panting with her arms at her sides as her opponent pushed herself across the mat, still on the ground when McGowan counted ten. Brewster, winner by KO7, sighed with relief as McGowan appeared by her side to raise her fist. Seeberg, head hung low, scooted backwards slowly, unable to rise or argue. After Brewster had caught her breath, she made her way towards Seebetg, leaning down to grab the beaten blonde by the hair and wallop the side of her face. Seeberg collapsed on her back, cringing and holding a hand in front of her face helplessly. Brewster, still unsteady, seemed to accept this, and made a hasty exit. In the following days, Seeberg vocally attacked both Punchfest '15 in general and Rose McGowan specifically, calling the first "a scam" and the second "a little tramp who likes to pick winners." The final comment, a reference to Rose McGowan's long delay before beginning to count Paget out in round four, spawned various video compilations of McGowan counting, showing intense inconsistency. Brewster declined to comment, but said she "absolutely would" fight again, given the chance. |
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Post by Punchaholics Anonymous on Aug 23, 2016 2:17:56 GMT -6
Missy Hyatt vs Lisa Nicole Carson (JMD)   With Paget Brewster making an unsteady escape after her win, and Xenia Seeberg sneaking away as quietly as possible to avoid making the situation worse, the stage was set for the next fight. Missy Hyatt, making her return to Punchfest '15 despite a painful experience the first time around, had released a webcam video in the days before the match explaining her plans. "Lisa Nicole Carson isn't going to have a clue what hit her. I might play with her for a few rounds so the fans get to have a laugh, but once I land just one punch, she's done." Lisa Nicole Carson, long absent from the ring, had other ideas. With two title shots on her record, she did appear overqualified for a match with Hyatt, even if her last fight was in 2000. "I might be finished slugging it out with the best women in the league, but I can still have a nice time destroying a sloppy mess like Missy a few times a year," said the actress when asked about the match. Once McGowan had made her final preparations, Missy Hyatt appeared from backstage, posing with one hip thrust to the side, one arm raised, and a big grin on her face. Hyatt's big entrance was hampered by her terrible boxing resume and low name recognition, but she made the best of it, linking arms with the referee and keeping her stage face on even as the crowd reacted indifferently. If nothing else, Hyatt filled out her leopard print leotard impressively, accented nicely by her red gloves. Once Hyatt was positioned in her corner, grasping the middle ropes and swinging her hips back and forth as if she were too excited to sit still, Carson made her entrance. More serious in mannerism than her opponent, the actress powerwalked down the ramp in her white leotard, arms swinging and back straight, looking straight ahead with an intense glare. Carson climbed into the ring, red gloved hands pulling herself up on the ropes, and Hyatt puffed her chest out, stepping forward confidently and shouting an inaudible taunt. No action took place before the signal, however. Round 1: Carson boxed well enough in the opening, while Hyatt, slightly rougher around the edges but nearly as big and sturdy as her rival, managed to scare her off with bursts of offense. Still, the audience became very familiar with the sight of Carson's left striking Hyatt's face dead center, followed by Hyatt gritting her teeth and charging ahead. The scene played out from various angles, with Hyatt shrugging off blows and finding Carson's chin or gut on occasion. Round 2: Hyatt, off to a poor start, lunged for Carson early, causing the more experienced fighter to slip up and turn what should have been another clean blow to the face into an awkward graze. In position now, Hyatt only had to make a very short swing to land an uppercut to Carson's left breast. The actress, face twisted up in pain, squirmed in place and covered her injured breast, leaving Hyatt free to slam her other fist into Carson's right breast hard enough to put a dent in her ribs. McGowan smirked, saying nothing, and Carson was forced to fight her way out, cleavage bobbing up and down in her low cut neckline. Unfortunately for the actress, the surprise attack seemed to have hurt her fighting ability, and Hyatt went on a rampage until the break, bashing her enemy's face from all sides and landing bruising blows to her chest as well. Round 3: Again, Hyatt was willing to fight dirty, but this time Carson was ready. Landing the jab early and seeing the wrestler falter, Carson let the blonde have it. Hyatt thrashed around as Carson landed a left hook to crush her breast, then fell back as the actress easily struck her jaw from the side. Shaking her head, Hyatt flew into a rage, throwing haymaker after haymaker at her dominant opponent. However, Carson put a stop to that after three close calls, nailing the blonde in the center of the face with one straight right and then targeting her bust next. Despite the one sided beating, Carson seemed to take the Hyatt haymaker seriously. Round 4: Carson's worry proved valid in the fourth round. Given a short rest and some breathing room, Hyatt immediately went back to her original routine, swinging at Carson's head full force with all of her might. Carson avoided the first swing, but Hyatt threw a heavy right hand arcing towards her jaw that landed perfectly. Carson was knocked off balance in an instant, leaning away from the punch and balancing on one foot as her arms drooped. She stared off into space, mouth agape and eyes open, unaware of Hyatt's next move. The blonde wrestler did not even acknowledge her own success, continuing to pound away. She struck Carson in the face dead on; the actresses head snapped back, then rolled forward, with no reaction again. When Hyatt sent a fist flying at Carson's temple, the actress' legs finally gave out, causing her to topple forwards, bending oddly at the waist and causing a series of thumps as her various limbs hit the mat individually. Carson got the slow count from McGowan, but no amount of stalling could prevent Hyatt from being the obvious winner by KO4. Hyatt ignored McGowan during the count, leaning forward over her beaten foe with her arms at her sides, chest out, as if taunting the semi-conscious woman by holding the two tempting targets just out of reach. Hyatt raised her head, inhaling deeply, the corners of her mouth turning upwards and her eyes twinkling. The crowd, happy to see a dramatic result if nothing else, let out some sincerely appreciative cheering, but the blonde wrestler was obviously more interested in proving dominance than winning over fans. As Carson's wriggling at Hyatt's feet became more purposeful, the victorious woman decided that her enemy had rested enough. The actress managed to rise to a sitting position for a single instant before Hyatt clobbered her, throwing her weight behind a forceful punch to the chin that instantly knocked the already dazed actress flat on her back. Hyatt, looking down and smiling innocently, ditched her gloves, then sat down on Carson's stomach, where she relieved her of her gloves as well. Locking fingers with the defeated woman and firmly pinning her down, Hyatt grinned and lowered her body until her victim's face disappeared between her breasts -- luckily, Hyatt's standard leotard cut had a neckline low enough to ensure skin to skin contact. Carson made an impressive attempt to bridge out, lifting her hips from the ground for a moment, but was no match for Hyatt's strength. Though she had finished struggling, it was a long time before Carson went completely limp, her reflexive grip on Hyatt's hands relaxing as the blonde wrestler gave her a final shimmy and sat up straight. Once again, event staff attempt to play the winner off before she finishes having fun; Hyatt politely took a hint, leaving her motionless enemy on the canvas and pausing to nearly squeeze the life out of Rose McGowan before jogging up the ramp. "I saw Trish having her fun with Pam," explained Hyatt several days later, referring to Trish Stratus' unscheduled addition of JMD rules to her fight against Anderson. "And I thought... by the way, great job Trish. That cheap loser doesn't deserve the honor of getting knocked out by a princess like you! Anyway, I thought... that looks fun! And Lisa loves to swing her punching bags around so much that it was starting to bother me anyway." There was no immediate news on whether the Stratus/Hyatt boxing alliance had any support from its other half, and no news on whether Lisa Nicole Carson planned to avenge her loss either. |
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Post by Punchaholics Anonymous on Aug 23, 2016 2:25:42 GMT -6
Sarah Jessica Parker vs Celine Dion   Rose McGowan, sexy referee outfit looking messier as the night went by, was stuck hauling a second unconscious woman away. With Lisa Nicole Carson's wrists in her hands, the small woman managed to get her up the ramp in spurts, stepping on her hair with impressive rarity. However, she was not quite quick enough to hide the previous match's loser before one of the next fighters made her entrance. Sarah Jessica Parker, clad in a body hugging gold party dress, strutted down the ramp, planting a foot on Carson's stomach on the way without breaking her stride. Carson made a noise to protest, curling up weakly as the never visible, ever present stagehands whisked her away backstage. McGowan, freed up, escorted Parker to the ring, where she immediately kicked her shoes off and began to warm up -- boxing in a sufficiently short skirt might be possible, but the heels were too much. "I think there were a lot of people calling for our blood a few years back," Parker had stated earlier, referring to herself and Celine Dion. "So I think we stayed out of the ring to avoid that kind of nasty mess. Now that a lot of that has cleared up, it's safe to say that the only blood getting spilled tonight belongs to a certain one hit wonder." Dion seemed prepared to dispute that claim very firmly. Entering in a green strapless dress, short enough to provide the required leg mobility, she glared at Parker as she strode down the ramp. "I've enjoyed the opportunities I've gotten as a boxer. It's always been quite a thrill to step into the ring! But I don't want to spend too much time dwelling on the past... especially when my future contains Sarah, fast asleep at my feet." Round 1: Dion, with enough of a reach advantage to play keep away all night, predictably worked hard to do exactly that in the opening. Parker, not at all enjoying the firm but conservative taps striking her face while Dion was safely out of reach, was only cooperative briefly. Engaging Dion on her own terms, and paying a price to do so, the actress eventually overwhelmed the singer and punched through her defenses. Parker's reward was Dion's face, twisting up in pain as she took a hard punch to the gut and wilted away briefly. While it was a difficult round for both women, Parker seemed to manage to pull ahead overall, helpful in the unlikely event that points effected a result at Punchfest '15. Round 2: With the two women's roles firmly established for all to see, Dion settled into hers more comfortably in the second round. Striking from a distance, fading away when pressured, and generally being a persistent but low intensity thorn in Parker's side, the tall singer had found her niche. The crowd responded unfavorably, but at the end of the round, Parker was stomping her foot and sulking in her corner, while Dion was relaxed and confident, even managing a comfortable smile amidst the booing onlookers. Round 3: Up against a potentially long, painful slog, Parker made a push in the third round, with mixed results. As usual, Dion collected the usual toll when Parker attacked, knocking the actress' head back once and forcing her to reconsider her plan. However, Parker persisted, rushing Dion for a second try and dealing with the taller woman's defenses more efficiently. Dion, mid swing, caught Parker's right hand on her jaw, and had to step back to keep her balance. Making the best of the situation, Dion returned fire, landing a left hook that left Parker shaken, and combined with Dion's forceful follow up, was enough to deter the actress for the moment. Another small win for Dion, though it was obvious that both women were in a precarious position. Round 4: After two bad rounds in a row, Parker was playing for a big change of fortune. Despite being relatively unhurt, the actress was unlikely to win by allowing her rival to nickle and dime her to death, and more unlikely to make a comeback the longer she allowed her descent to continue. Ducking and weaving, Parker slipped past Dion's punch, taking the brief opportunity to land a hook to the taller woman's midsection. The singer started to counter attack, then bent at the waist, lips drawn back in pain as her punch fell short. Parker, with plenty of space, put her weight behind an uppercut that struck Dion's chin, leaving the singer off balance and taking several steps backward to stay on her feet. Knocked off her perch, Dion made a desperate attempt to turn it around, throwing her weight behind a counterattack strong enough to stop the rampaging actress and even the odds, but again, Parker had the energy to zip past and hammer her injured opponent's midsection. From there, Dion went into freefall, ending the round in the corner, covering her face as Parker threw heavy swings at her head. Round 5: After spending her break staring straight ahead, leaning against the corner post, Dion haphazardly charged Parker at the bell, putting all of her energy into one wild right handed swing. Taking the one in a million shot goes predictably for Dion; Parker could often outmaneuver her at her best, and she was far from her best. The taller singer's fist flew past Parker's head harmlessly as she leaned to the side, counterattacking and allowing Dion's momentum to carry her into the blow. Dion's fist and Parker's fist collided like a couple of trains, the singer sagging weakly to the side and vainly trying to cover herself in the aftermath. The actress' quick follow up punch put a stop to that, knocking her back again and this time sending her flat on her back. Dion's legs splayed apart and bounced into the air at the impact, compromising her modesty badly for an instant -- fighting in a dress always made the stakes high. McGowan counted as Parker turned away, raising her fists, her toned arms clearly not merely decorative. Surely enough, the result was KO5 Parker. Sarah Jessica Parker took a minute or two to even acknowledge her struggling opponent. She was busy posing for the crowd at each corner post, making the full victory lap before coming back to McGowan. Watching Dion groan and roll back and forth, Parker placed her foot on the beaten woman's chest and held her against the canvas. Dion looked up, wide eyed, grabbing Parker's foot and uselessly trying to push it up. Parker, shouting something and snarling down at Dion, shoved her foot down harder before stepping away. Dion nodded meekly, rolling over and bringing her face to Parker's foot, giving it the most tentative kiss possible before pulling away. Not satisfactory -- Parker shook her head, folded her arms, and turned up her nose, and McGowan helpfully pounced on Dion's back, grabbing the shrieking woman by the hair and forcing her face down into Parker's foot. Moments later, Dion was face down on the ground, hands covering her eyes and shaking, while Parker and McGowan exchanged air kisses before the victorious woman's exit. "She's stuck up, but she's a terrible fighter. It's a bad combination!" commented Sarah Jessica Parker. "I know for a fact that she was bragging about her superior fitness before I ruined her in front of everybody. But she hits like a kid! It's pathetic!" Dion was silent on the topic of a rematch publicly, but rumor has it that Punchaholics Anonymous was still calling her, and she was still picking up. |
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Post by Hilarie Burton on Aug 23, 2016 3:43:04 GMT -6
Wow, judging by some of the women involved, are you sure it isn't Punchfest 1915??
That does not include Trish Stratus of course, who I have the utmost respect for. Great win, by the way, Trish. Way to show that hasbeen!
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Post by Trish Stratus on Aug 23, 2016 19:31:18 GMT -6
Thanks! I'm sure Pam would have some words for you if she had any bones or muscles left in her face, though.  |
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Post by Hilarie Burton on Aug 24, 2016 8:11:48 GMT -6
Haha. Thankfully, she doesn't. Besides, I think you shut her up pretty well. Again, top work, Trish.
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