Post by Lookout! Boxing on Sept 29, 2023 21:02:02 GMT -6
Jugs of Mass Destruction
Donna D'Errico vs Jessica Simpson
(12-11, 8 KO vs 38-60-2, 33 KO)
JMD Value: 34C (Enhanced) vs 34DD (Natural)
Results: Lookout!; Story: Vassago
BEFORE: Baywatch veteran Donna D'Errico enters the jug muggin' genre where she believes she can thrive against fellow cougars in more ways than one! She goes straight after one of the JMD household names over the years - Jessica Simpson - who has struggled for results in recent times but she vows to absolutely blow the fellow blonde away tonight: "Let's face it, all that plastic inside Donna's body will explode once I'm done with her. She's not ready for a no mercy slaughter whatsoever. Beating a washed up hack like Pam Anderson is one thing but I'm still in my relative prime when it comes to jug muggin'" (winks).
Donna D'Errico wears a black bikini top, jeans shorts & red gloves. Long blonde hair loose & straight. Jessica Simpson wears a white bikini top, jeans shorts & blue gloves. Long blonde hair tied in a braid. The fight is scheduled for ten rounds in the bantamweigt division. JMD rules apply.
Round 1:
Jug muggin' action kicks off with Donna powering ahead from the inside to make a heavy connection that puts Jessica on notice. Typical slugging response follows but Donna remains on top after she drifts to smack a left hook into the singer's face before dropping down to punish the rack again. Ugh! Even a wiley JMD veteran like Simpson struggles to embrace that double combo and she gets gradually worked down to the ropes where the Alabama actress cranks up the phone booth pressure to run away with all the juicy hits and leave the Texas blonde slumped behind a tight earmuff. Uh-oh! That's a surprising development for Tigress Uppercut experts while most of the audience simply wants to see these two blondes batter each other until one can't take it anymore!
Round 2:
Donna resumes the inside pounce and gives Jessica's rack more uppercut trouble before a stubborn response finally forces the older blonde to account for her own defensive holes. And Donna leaks plenty of these punches from point-blank range which allows Jessica to find her groove and she doesn't need much time to thump the former Baywatch actress around the ring. Donna tries to hang in the slugging exchange however Simpson rolls back the tape a few years and pancakes the enhanced mounds to the point the older blonde begins to feel the heat alright. A payback hook on the nose slumps D'Errico on her heels and she gets mauled with more uppercuts before a lenghty clinch on the ropes runs out the clock.
Round 3:
Here comes Donna with some revenge and she secures a quick connection to lift Simpson's breasts however the Texas singer accepts the slugging war of attrition having firm belief in her superior skillset. She blows it into Donna's rack and both cougars really punish each other in the center of the ring before a low harpoon on the liver sends Jessica into a sudden tailspin. Ugh! She didn't see that hit coming and Donna drops her onto the ropes where she drills more jug meat to freeze the singer into a spot of bother. No more back & forth slugging, Donna takes over the charge and makes Jessica scowl in pain while hammering her boobs from both flanks all the way until the bell!
Round 4:
Jessica is getting ragged wholesale to open the fourth and this is quite a sight but Donna eventually runs out of gas in the second minute and loses the superior power supply which slowly brings the former JMD champion back into the frame. She reverts back to the old reliable uppercut pounce to outwork D'Errico in the hole and cracks a right hook on the nose to soften the Alabama actress even further. More jug slugging follows in short order and Donna's energy level hits the red zone when she allows Simpson to simply bash away at the enhanced rack while yelping in visible discomfort. This reaction only fuels more recovery wrath from the Texas singer who ignores the bell and piles on more leather to lift D'Errico's bumpers but even the crowd seems okay with all the late hits. Ugh! Donna needs to inspect her bikini top to prevent a wardrobe malfunction yet it feels like it shouldn't be her priority at this stage anymore.
Round 5:
Jessica lets it rip and she stuffs Donna with a vicious series between the cups before dropping a belting harpoon on the liver as well. Uh-oh!. Donna stumbles back to her heels and while she tries to swing from there, Simpson spins away from her range and crashes more powerful hooks on the breasts to drain the older blonde from energy. Donna tries to hang on but her footwork is all gone and she simply stands there taking all those hits until Jessica finally breaks the dam with a right hook on the solar plexus.... Donna is hurt and wobbles forward with a whimper... a quick one-two DROPS HER ONTO HER KNEES and it was the sheer number of punches that ultimately caused the knockdown. Donna is still a proud woman... she refuses to check out of this fight and beats the count at seven only for Jessica to MAUL her rack with a slugging drive moments later and now it gets ugly as Donna is almost shoved through the ropes while eating more rack damage. She cries out in serious pain and almost begs for mercy but there comes the ref to stop the beating. He pulls the singer off her prey and this jug muggin' battle is over. TKO5 Jessica Simpson!!!
AFTER: "I broke the damn ##### like I said I would! Now let's check out the plastic!", Jessica talks to the camera while having her gloves removed and she goes straight after the still dizzy opponent moments later forcing her into a Walk of Shame before ripping the bikini top off. Ouch. "This ain't the Baywatch suit but I'm fine making your look like a cheap corner wh#re you are! Down on your knees!", Jessica shoves the older blonde down but Donna only stays on her knees for a few seconds and then she gets pinned on the canvas with the Texas woman rubbing her breasts against her face before the vintage smother press ends the loser's night for good.
Official Result: Jessica Simpson def. Donna D'Errico TKO5.
