Post by HBO's Boxing At The Asylum on Aug 31, 2023 16:39:04 GMT -6
BEFORE:
"I'm not being snarky when I say this," says Lindsay. "I appreciate getting a shot against Stewart. I haven't had a fight all year, so, this is a nice opportunity. And, I'm going to take advantage of it."
"Lindsay has ALWAYS been dangerous," says K-Stew with a nod. "Lot of power for this weight, and she's FEARLESS in there. I'll need to be on my 'A' game. And, I WILL be."
ROUND ONE:
O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Rumors' and here comes the singer of that tune, Lindsay Lohan!"
McCarthy: "And, I'll say this again. She sucks as both a singer AND an actress..."
Tess: "Here's the part where we point out that YOU were LEGALLY ENJOINED FROM SINGING!"
McCarthy: "ONE SONG! AND SHUT UP, WALMART!"
O'Dell (sighing): "Drink up, boys, and drink in Ms. Lohan as she's helped off with the robe to reveal an Egyptian blue number that has the crowd buzzing. She's CLEARLY been working hard for this one. And, that's 'Helter Skelter' by the Beatles you hear behind us, and here comes the FCBA's biggest Beatles fan, 'The Five-Tool Player', Kristen Stewart!"
McCarthy: "FINALLY! A REAL fighter!"
Cassie: "K-Stew still looking for a shot to get those flyweight belts back, and if she wants one any time soon, she needs to get a result tonight..."
O'Dell: "K-Stew taps glove to fist with Mac on the way by the table as usual. She's into the ring and helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve, and the crowd's popping for Ms. Stewart in that lime green number she likes. Ladies about ready to go. Time for some picks. Tess likes K-Stew. Mac?"
McCarthy: "REAL fighter! Stewart!"
O'Dell: "Cassie?"
Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"
O'Dell: "And, we're underway. Stewart wants to work at range, making with that jab. Lohan not having any, damning ALL torpedoes and wading forward, looking to bang away and ROCKS STEWART WITH A RIGHT HAND!"
Tess: "NASTY SHOT!"
O'Dell: "And, Kristen IN TROUBLE! Lohan winging away and DOWN GOES STEWART! Kristen dropped to her right side after a VICIOUS right hook. Lohan to a neutral corner. Count at three. Four. Five. Stewart sits up at six. Seven. Stewart to her feet at eight. Ref gives her the mandatory and waves on Lohan..."
McCarthy: "Stewart just needs to run clock here."
O'Dell: "That's what she's trying to do. She's giving ground as Lohan fires away with everything in the magazines. Kristen trapped against the ropes and taking, but she's defending well, jabbing back in spots, doing enough to keep the ref at bay. Final seconds tick away and there's the bell. HUGE start for Lohan."
Cassie: "10-8 after one."
ROUND TWO:
O'Dell: "Lohan looking to finish now. She's after K-Stew aggressively, but she's staying VERY sound. She's walking the brunette down behind the left jab, dropping right hands on her. Stewart willing to trade space for time here..."
McCarthy: "Playing this very smart."
O'Dell: "Indeed, she is. Lindsay, for her part, piling up points and punishment. She hasn't been able to finish, but she's cleaning up pretty nicely here. Stewart has managed to stay off the ropes, but Lohan forces her there now..."
Cassie: "Kristen defending well, countering nicely."
O'Dell: "Is, indeed. She's shaken the worst of the damage now and is banging back, giving as good as she gets as the final seconds roll off the clock in the second. There's the bell. Very good round for Lohan, who takes it wide."
Tess: "And leads by three, 20-17."
ROUND THREE:
O'Dell: "Third underway and Stewart working the jab at range. Kristen has the legs back underneath her now, and that's making a difference. Lohan working smartly forward, looking to close and get physical, but not getting sloppy..."
Tess: "She's built a nice lead here. Doesn't want to toss that away."
O'Dell: "And, the redhead showing why she's a former three-time champion. She CAN box. She CAN be disciplined in there. Result is a good, two-way round for the first time in this bout. Both fighters getting some work done..."
McCarthy: "When K-Stew can work at range, nobody in this division is going to outbox her."
O'Dell: "You're probably right about that, Mac, which is why Lindsay isn't trying. She's continuing to angle, getting to middle distances and getting off, sometimes closing to bang. Final seconds ticking away in the third, and there's the bell. Close. Stewart."
Cassie: "And Lohan's lead is cut to 29-27."
ROUND FOUR:
O'Dell: "More of the same in the fourth. Ladies have settled into a battle for terms now. Stewart wants to box at range, and she's using that long, accurate left to enforce that. When she gets it on, she can keep Lindsay out there on the end of her punches..."
McCarthy: "And put together accurate flurries."
O'Dell: "Lohan, meanwhile, working to get past the jab, angling, varying what she does. Sometimes she steps inside and gets off at middle distances. Other times, she closes, bangs, even works some body in there, scoring well when she does so."
Cassie: "Offsetting what Kristen does at range."
O'Dell: "Indeed, she is. Result is another close, two-way round, and, as we come down the stretch, not a whole lot in it. Sharp exchange and another right there, as both fighters look to leave a good final impression on the judges. There's the bell. Close. Lohan."
Tess: "And Lindsay's up three again, 39-36."
ROUND FIVE:
O'Dell: "Fifth underway with, once again, Stewart working the left at range, Lohan looking to step inside and GETTING CLOCKED! A NASTY short right hand from Stewart and Lindsay is HURT! K-Stew now going all in, backing up the redhead..."
McCarthy: "PERFECT punch. PERFECT."
O'Dell: "Pretty close to it, anyway, and the brunette is now exploiting the advantage, giving Lohan a thrashing. Lindsay backed to the ropes and taking, putting the body on sale. She's tying up now. Stewart shoving off, landing a solid right hand..."
Tess: "Some pretty good defensive stuff from Lohan..."
O'Dell: "No doubt about it. She's hanging on in the high guard, blocking, rolling with, jabbing back here and there. Stewart piling up points, but not going to find the 'off' switch. There's the bell. It's Kristen and it's wide, but Lohan lives to fight another day."
Cassie: "And, Stewart's cut it to two again, trailing 48-46 at the half."
ROUND SIX:
O'Dell: "Stewart pressing the issue. Lohan still willing to give some ground. Doesn't have the legs all the way back at the moment. K-Stew grabbing canvas, backing her rival up with solid combinations. Lindsay firing back in counter here and there..."
Cassie: "Stewart very patient..."
O'Dell: "Indeed, she is. She's setting up punches, working that left hand, moving the feet, looking to create openings and DROPPING LOHAN WITH A RIGHT HAND! What a one-two! Lindsay dropped to her back! K-Stew to a neutral corner. Count at three. Four. Five. Lohan rolls to hands and knees at six. Seven. Redhead up at eight..."
Tess: "Didn't think she was getting up from that."
O'Dell: "Referee gives Lindsay the mandatory and waves on K-Stew! Stewart buzz sawing her rival back into the ropes, hammering away with both hands, looking to finish once again. Ref looking in closely. GOOD right by K-Stew staggers Lohan and IT'S OVER! The ref leaps in and bundles Lindsay to safety and it's OVER and your winner by TKO6 is 'The Five-Tool Player', Kristen Stewart!"
McCarthy: "LIKE I said, she's a REAL fighter."
AFTER:
O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Cassie Scerbo!"
Cassie: "I have our winner, Kristen Stewart, and, K-Stew, you were pretty prophetic in the pre-fight talking about Lindsay being dangerous..."
Kristen (nodding): "Seen it again and again from her. She's got power and she can take you out of there. But, I was able to ride that out, get back in the fight, and get the 'W'. We call that 'pulling a Chloe' around here."
Cassie (laughing): "She HAS done that a few times. But, back to you. What's next?"
Kristen (shrugging): "I just want to keep working. I'd love another shot at the belts, so that's the plan."
"I'm not being snarky when I say this," says Lindsay. "I appreciate getting a shot against Stewart. I haven't had a fight all year, so, this is a nice opportunity. And, I'm going to take advantage of it."
"Lindsay has ALWAYS been dangerous," says K-Stew with a nod. "Lot of power for this weight, and she's FEARLESS in there. I'll need to be on my 'A' game. And, I WILL be."
ROUND ONE:
O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Rumors' and here comes the singer of that tune, Lindsay Lohan!"
McCarthy: "And, I'll say this again. She sucks as both a singer AND an actress..."
Tess: "Here's the part where we point out that YOU were LEGALLY ENJOINED FROM SINGING!"
McCarthy: "ONE SONG! AND SHUT UP, WALMART!"
O'Dell (sighing): "Drink up, boys, and drink in Ms. Lohan as she's helped off with the robe to reveal an Egyptian blue number that has the crowd buzzing. She's CLEARLY been working hard for this one. And, that's 'Helter Skelter' by the Beatles you hear behind us, and here comes the FCBA's biggest Beatles fan, 'The Five-Tool Player', Kristen Stewart!"
McCarthy: "FINALLY! A REAL fighter!"
Cassie: "K-Stew still looking for a shot to get those flyweight belts back, and if she wants one any time soon, she needs to get a result tonight..."
O'Dell: "K-Stew taps glove to fist with Mac on the way by the table as usual. She's into the ring and helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve, and the crowd's popping for Ms. Stewart in that lime green number she likes. Ladies about ready to go. Time for some picks. Tess likes K-Stew. Mac?"
McCarthy: "REAL fighter! Stewart!"
O'Dell: "Cassie?"
Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"
O'Dell: "And, we're underway. Stewart wants to work at range, making with that jab. Lohan not having any, damning ALL torpedoes and wading forward, looking to bang away and ROCKS STEWART WITH A RIGHT HAND!"
Tess: "NASTY SHOT!"
O'Dell: "And, Kristen IN TROUBLE! Lohan winging away and DOWN GOES STEWART! Kristen dropped to her right side after a VICIOUS right hook. Lohan to a neutral corner. Count at three. Four. Five. Stewart sits up at six. Seven. Stewart to her feet at eight. Ref gives her the mandatory and waves on Lohan..."
McCarthy: "Stewart just needs to run clock here."
O'Dell: "That's what she's trying to do. She's giving ground as Lohan fires away with everything in the magazines. Kristen trapped against the ropes and taking, but she's defending well, jabbing back in spots, doing enough to keep the ref at bay. Final seconds tick away and there's the bell. HUGE start for Lohan."
Cassie: "10-8 after one."
ROUND TWO:
O'Dell: "Lohan looking to finish now. She's after K-Stew aggressively, but she's staying VERY sound. She's walking the brunette down behind the left jab, dropping right hands on her. Stewart willing to trade space for time here..."
McCarthy: "Playing this very smart."
O'Dell: "Indeed, she is. Lindsay, for her part, piling up points and punishment. She hasn't been able to finish, but she's cleaning up pretty nicely here. Stewart has managed to stay off the ropes, but Lohan forces her there now..."
Cassie: "Kristen defending well, countering nicely."
O'Dell: "Is, indeed. She's shaken the worst of the damage now and is banging back, giving as good as she gets as the final seconds roll off the clock in the second. There's the bell. Very good round for Lohan, who takes it wide."
Tess: "And leads by three, 20-17."
ROUND THREE:
O'Dell: "Third underway and Stewart working the jab at range. Kristen has the legs back underneath her now, and that's making a difference. Lohan working smartly forward, looking to close and get physical, but not getting sloppy..."
Tess: "She's built a nice lead here. Doesn't want to toss that away."
O'Dell: "And, the redhead showing why she's a former three-time champion. She CAN box. She CAN be disciplined in there. Result is a good, two-way round for the first time in this bout. Both fighters getting some work done..."
McCarthy: "When K-Stew can work at range, nobody in this division is going to outbox her."
O'Dell: "You're probably right about that, Mac, which is why Lindsay isn't trying. She's continuing to angle, getting to middle distances and getting off, sometimes closing to bang. Final seconds ticking away in the third, and there's the bell. Close. Stewart."
Cassie: "And Lohan's lead is cut to 29-27."
ROUND FOUR:
O'Dell: "More of the same in the fourth. Ladies have settled into a battle for terms now. Stewart wants to box at range, and she's using that long, accurate left to enforce that. When she gets it on, she can keep Lindsay out there on the end of her punches..."
McCarthy: "And put together accurate flurries."
O'Dell: "Lohan, meanwhile, working to get past the jab, angling, varying what she does. Sometimes she steps inside and gets off at middle distances. Other times, she closes, bangs, even works some body in there, scoring well when she does so."
Cassie: "Offsetting what Kristen does at range."
O'Dell: "Indeed, she is. Result is another close, two-way round, and, as we come down the stretch, not a whole lot in it. Sharp exchange and another right there, as both fighters look to leave a good final impression on the judges. There's the bell. Close. Lohan."
Tess: "And Lindsay's up three again, 39-36."
ROUND FIVE:
O'Dell: "Fifth underway with, once again, Stewart working the left at range, Lohan looking to step inside and GETTING CLOCKED! A NASTY short right hand from Stewart and Lindsay is HURT! K-Stew now going all in, backing up the redhead..."
McCarthy: "PERFECT punch. PERFECT."
O'Dell: "Pretty close to it, anyway, and the brunette is now exploiting the advantage, giving Lohan a thrashing. Lindsay backed to the ropes and taking, putting the body on sale. She's tying up now. Stewart shoving off, landing a solid right hand..."
Tess: "Some pretty good defensive stuff from Lohan..."
O'Dell: "No doubt about it. She's hanging on in the high guard, blocking, rolling with, jabbing back here and there. Stewart piling up points, but not going to find the 'off' switch. There's the bell. It's Kristen and it's wide, but Lohan lives to fight another day."
Cassie: "And, Stewart's cut it to two again, trailing 48-46 at the half."
ROUND SIX:
O'Dell: "Stewart pressing the issue. Lohan still willing to give some ground. Doesn't have the legs all the way back at the moment. K-Stew grabbing canvas, backing her rival up with solid combinations. Lindsay firing back in counter here and there..."
Cassie: "Stewart very patient..."
O'Dell: "Indeed, she is. She's setting up punches, working that left hand, moving the feet, looking to create openings and DROPPING LOHAN WITH A RIGHT HAND! What a one-two! Lindsay dropped to her back! K-Stew to a neutral corner. Count at three. Four. Five. Lohan rolls to hands and knees at six. Seven. Redhead up at eight..."
Tess: "Didn't think she was getting up from that."
O'Dell: "Referee gives Lindsay the mandatory and waves on K-Stew! Stewart buzz sawing her rival back into the ropes, hammering away with both hands, looking to finish once again. Ref looking in closely. GOOD right by K-Stew staggers Lohan and IT'S OVER! The ref leaps in and bundles Lindsay to safety and it's OVER and your winner by TKO6 is 'The Five-Tool Player', Kristen Stewart!"
McCarthy: "LIKE I said, she's a REAL fighter."
AFTER:
O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Cassie Scerbo!"
Cassie: "I have our winner, Kristen Stewart, and, K-Stew, you were pretty prophetic in the pre-fight talking about Lindsay being dangerous..."
Kristen (nodding): "Seen it again and again from her. She's got power and she can take you out of there. But, I was able to ride that out, get back in the fight, and get the 'W'. We call that 'pulling a Chloe' around here."
Cassie (laughing): "She HAS done that a few times. But, back to you. What's next?"
Kristen (shrugging): "I just want to keep working. I'd love another shot at the belts, so that's the plan."