Post by HBO's Boxing At The Asylum on Sept 30, 2021 13:23:21 GMT -6
BEFORE:
"I've been waiting for this," says a hard-eyed Kendra. "A chance to even my record against Dennings. I can't WAIT to knock her overrated ass out AGAIN."
"Most of the girls I've fought in my FCBA career, I've had nothing against," says Kat without a hint of a smile. "But, this skank, I can't STAND. And, I AM going to leave her SUCKING CANVAS if it's the last thing I do."
ROUND ONE:
O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Just Like You' by Three Days Grace and here comes Kendra Wilkinson..."
McCarthy: "I can not BELIEVE we are being subjected to this! That PEARL HARBORING bytch Kendra and that talentless Campbell Clone KAT! I hate them BOTH! I hope they knock one another out. I hope..."
O'Dell: "Now, calm DOWN, Mac, and let's concentrate on the ring, where Kendra is climbing in. She's helped off with the robe to reveal a blue number that gets the crowd popping..."
McCarthy: "Overrated. Low sta...HEY! My record SHOULD be above .500 if I hadn't been ROBBED in this very ring DOZENS of times! SHUT UP, SCABBO! And, SHUT UP, WALMART! And, truck, you will PAY for that three shot..."
Cassie: "I was thinking we might be off the air before it registered..."
Tess: "I was imagining getting a cell phone call at about three AM with a 'Shut up, Walmart'..."
O'Dell (sighing): "Drink up boys, and listen up to 'I Don't Feel Like Dancing' by Scissor Sisters pounding through the Asylum, which can only mean that Kat 'The Rack' Dennings is on her way to the ring..."
McCarthy: "OVERRATED! And, she got LUCKY!"
Cassie: "This MAY be the night Mac's head explodes..."
O'Dell: "Kat all business on her way to the ring. She climbs in and is helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve. Dennings getting the crowd going in that curve-hugging black number she likes..."
McCarthy: "OVERRATED!"
O'Dell: "And, the ladies are about ready. Time for some picks. Tess likes Kat. Mac?"
McCarthy: "I HOPE THEY BOTH LOSE!"
O'Dell: "Cassie?"
Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"
O'Dell: "There's the bell and nobody making any pretense of doing any boxing here. Blonde and brunette simply meet in the middle of the ring and let the hands go! There is some SERIOUS leather being exchanged in there right now and WILKINSON ROCKS DENNINGS!"
McCarthy: "NO! COVER UP! HANG ON! DON'T LET THAT PEARL HARBORING WITCH WIN!"
O'Dell: "Kendra going all in and DOWN GOES KAT! Dennings dropped to her rump with a HARD flurry from Kendra, who BOUNCES to a neutral corner, grinning broadly. Count at three. Four. Five. Kat pushing to her feet at six. She'll take the mandatory and ON COMES KENDRA!"
Tess: "Absolutely NOTHING would make Wilkinson happier than a KO1 here...UNLESS it was against MAC..."
McCarthy: "She'll NEVER step in there with ME! She's AFRAID!"
O'Dell: "Wilkinson has Kat pinned to the ropes and is working her over head and body. Dennings banging back in spots, clinching, covering up, working the clock. Just five seconds to go, and the brunette will get out of the round. There's the bell. Kat survives..."
Cassie: "But, Kendra grabs the 10-8 lead."
ROUND TWO:
O'Dell: "Wilkinson on FIRE as we start the second. She's letting the hands fly, backing up Kat with flurry after flurry. Brunette backing and covering, still unsteady after taking a LOT of punishment in that first round. Kendra has the advantage and she's pressing it in a MAJOR way..."
Cassie: "Smart move. She knows how dangerous Kat is. She has a chance here..."
O'Dell: "And, she's doing all she can to cash it in. Dennings backed to the cables now. She's in a tight guard, rolling with, jabbing back in spots, playing excellent defense. Wilkinson working some body, hooking ribs and midsection. Kat ties up. Ref gets in there to break them..."
Tess: "Good move to get off the ropes."
O'Dell: "Indeed it was. Blonde continues working hard, sitting down on everything, looking to get Kat out of here. Dennings taking the worst of it, no doubt of that, but she's shaken the worst of the damage and is looking a lot stronger than a couple of minutes ago. There's the bell. Kendra. Wide."
McCarthy: "Come ON, Campbell Clone! That Backstabber is up 20-17!"
ROUND THREE:
O'Dell: "Kendra continuing to control things. She's backing up Kat with heavy fire. Blonde really sitting down on everything now, definitely wants to get this thing finished. Dennings continuing to play defense, give ground, look to play for time. Legs looking better this round, ladies..."
McCarthy: "She's never going to be a J-Mac, but, she's moving OK for a Campbell Clone..."
O'Dell: "But, still, Wilkinson is dominating the proceedings. Dennings banging back in spots, scoring a little more than she has in the first two rounds, but, it's not nearly enough to offset what the blonde's getting done, head, body, head again. GOOD right from Kendra there..."
Cassie: "Wilkinson determined to get Kat out of there, but it's not happening."
O'Dell: "Not at this point. We're down to 15 seconds in the round. SHARP exchange there and both fighters landed some good punches...and there's the bell. STAREDOWN! Kendra saying 'I'm kicking your'...and Kat saying 'Yeah, but I'm still here.' Ref between the ladies and sends them to their corners. Kendra. Wide."
Tess: "And, she's built a WHOPPING 30-26 lead."
ROUND FOUR:
O'Dell: "Fourth begins with Kat holding her ground now and HERE WE GO! FIREFIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING! Dennings and Wilkinson letting the hands go, banging away to both head and body. Nobody willing to take a backward step now and both ladies landing a TON of hard shot..."
Tess: "Kat DIGGING that body..."
O'Dell: "And not neglecting the upstairs, either. Meanwhile, Kendra's thumping back hard, committing on everything. Lot of mutual dislike behind those punches at the moment. SHARP exchange sends sweat flying, but nobody willing to slow this down or back up despite all the punishment..."
Cassie: "Wilkinson is making a mistake doing this with Kat. Especially tonight."
O'Dell: "We're coming down the stretch. Dennings a BIG right backs up the blonde, but Kendra steps right back to and goes back to work. More body work from both blonde and brunette. Final seconds ticking off and there's the bell. Ref quickly between the fighters. Close. Dennings on the board."
McCarthy: "But still down three, 39-36."
ROUND FIVE:
O'Dell: "Into the fifth and right back into the phone booth. Nobody making a pretense of anything in there. They're just meeting in the center of the ring and going at it. Working head and especially body, doing a TON of tenderizing of ribs and midsection at the moment..."
Cassie: "But, it's not just brawling..."
O'Dell: "Absolutely not. Both ladies moving heads, hands, and feet, playing some good defense, not making it easy for her rival. But, EVERYBODY is sitting down on punches and sending out a TON of heavy leather, especially to those bread baskets. We can hear the THWACK of leather hitting flesh VERY clearly..."
McCarthy: "I'm GLAD these two are POUNDING one another. The only thing that would be better is if I did it!"
O'Dell: "We're into the final seconds of the fifth, and, for the second-straight round, not a lot in it. And, also, nobody slowing down. Ladies dripping sweat, but they're still digging, digging right to the bell. There it is, and, once again it's going to be Dennings by a slim margin."
Tess: "And, Kat's cut Kendra's lead to 48-46."
ROUND SIX:
O'Dell: "Sixth underway and it starts just like the fifth ended, with both blonde and brunette in the booth banging body. Wilkinson a SOLID right hand that backed Dennings up, but Kat stepping right back to and going right back to work pummeling Kendra's ribs and midsection..."
Tess: "All of this body work IS going to have an effect, but, we're not seeing it yet..."
O'Dell: "We are not. Nobody slowing down an iota at the moment. If anything, the ladies are working harder now than they were in the first. Kendra a SOLID right hand and KAT DROPS HER! Oh, that was the SHOVEL HOOK to the liver and Kendra is DOWN, curled into a ball in the middle of the ring!"
McCarthy: "GET UP, YOU BACKSTABBER! DON'T LET HER WIN!"
Cassie (singing): "Turn out the liiiggghhhttssss. The party's ohhhverrrrrrr...."
O'Dell: "Kat stomping to a neutral corner. Kendra bereft in the middle of the ring, eyes tightly closed, both gloves at her midsection. Count at three. Four. Five. Wilkinson, teeth gritted in agony, can only watch the numbers get bigger. Seven. Eight. Nine. TEN! It's OVER! And your winner by KO6 is Kat 'The Rack' Dennings!"
McCarthy: "Lucky! But, Wilkinson deserved to lose!"
AFTER:
O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"
Tess: "I have our winner, Kat Dennings, and, Kat, that was BRUTAL..."
Kat: "Yeah. And a hell of a lot more brutal for HER than it was for me. Which was the plan all along."
Tess: "What's next for you?"
Kat (smiling): "Oh, I have plans. Big plans."
"I've been waiting for this," says a hard-eyed Kendra. "A chance to even my record against Dennings. I can't WAIT to knock her overrated ass out AGAIN."
"Most of the girls I've fought in my FCBA career, I've had nothing against," says Kat without a hint of a smile. "But, this skank, I can't STAND. And, I AM going to leave her SUCKING CANVAS if it's the last thing I do."
ROUND ONE:
O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Just Like You' by Three Days Grace and here comes Kendra Wilkinson..."
McCarthy: "I can not BELIEVE we are being subjected to this! That PEARL HARBORING bytch Kendra and that talentless Campbell Clone KAT! I hate them BOTH! I hope they knock one another out. I hope..."
O'Dell: "Now, calm DOWN, Mac, and let's concentrate on the ring, where Kendra is climbing in. She's helped off with the robe to reveal a blue number that gets the crowd popping..."
McCarthy: "Overrated. Low sta...HEY! My record SHOULD be above .500 if I hadn't been ROBBED in this very ring DOZENS of times! SHUT UP, SCABBO! And, SHUT UP, WALMART! And, truck, you will PAY for that three shot..."
Cassie: "I was thinking we might be off the air before it registered..."
Tess: "I was imagining getting a cell phone call at about three AM with a 'Shut up, Walmart'..."
O'Dell (sighing): "Drink up boys, and listen up to 'I Don't Feel Like Dancing' by Scissor Sisters pounding through the Asylum, which can only mean that Kat 'The Rack' Dennings is on her way to the ring..."
McCarthy: "OVERRATED! And, she got LUCKY!"
Cassie: "This MAY be the night Mac's head explodes..."
O'Dell: "Kat all business on her way to the ring. She climbs in and is helped off with the robe by Jewel and Neve. Dennings getting the crowd going in that curve-hugging black number she likes..."
McCarthy: "OVERRATED!"
O'Dell: "And, the ladies are about ready. Time for some picks. Tess likes Kat. Mac?"
McCarthy: "I HOPE THEY BOTH LOSE!"
O'Dell: "Cassie?"
Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"
O'Dell: "There's the bell and nobody making any pretense of doing any boxing here. Blonde and brunette simply meet in the middle of the ring and let the hands go! There is some SERIOUS leather being exchanged in there right now and WILKINSON ROCKS DENNINGS!"
McCarthy: "NO! COVER UP! HANG ON! DON'T LET THAT PEARL HARBORING WITCH WIN!"
O'Dell: "Kendra going all in and DOWN GOES KAT! Dennings dropped to her rump with a HARD flurry from Kendra, who BOUNCES to a neutral corner, grinning broadly. Count at three. Four. Five. Kat pushing to her feet at six. She'll take the mandatory and ON COMES KENDRA!"
Tess: "Absolutely NOTHING would make Wilkinson happier than a KO1 here...UNLESS it was against MAC..."
McCarthy: "She'll NEVER step in there with ME! She's AFRAID!"
O'Dell: "Wilkinson has Kat pinned to the ropes and is working her over head and body. Dennings banging back in spots, clinching, covering up, working the clock. Just five seconds to go, and the brunette will get out of the round. There's the bell. Kat survives..."
Cassie: "But, Kendra grabs the 10-8 lead."
ROUND TWO:
O'Dell: "Wilkinson on FIRE as we start the second. She's letting the hands fly, backing up Kat with flurry after flurry. Brunette backing and covering, still unsteady after taking a LOT of punishment in that first round. Kendra has the advantage and she's pressing it in a MAJOR way..."
Cassie: "Smart move. She knows how dangerous Kat is. She has a chance here..."
O'Dell: "And, she's doing all she can to cash it in. Dennings backed to the cables now. She's in a tight guard, rolling with, jabbing back in spots, playing excellent defense. Wilkinson working some body, hooking ribs and midsection. Kat ties up. Ref gets in there to break them..."
Tess: "Good move to get off the ropes."
O'Dell: "Indeed it was. Blonde continues working hard, sitting down on everything, looking to get Kat out of here. Dennings taking the worst of it, no doubt of that, but she's shaken the worst of the damage and is looking a lot stronger than a couple of minutes ago. There's the bell. Kendra. Wide."
McCarthy: "Come ON, Campbell Clone! That Backstabber is up 20-17!"
ROUND THREE:
O'Dell: "Kendra continuing to control things. She's backing up Kat with heavy fire. Blonde really sitting down on everything now, definitely wants to get this thing finished. Dennings continuing to play defense, give ground, look to play for time. Legs looking better this round, ladies..."
McCarthy: "She's never going to be a J-Mac, but, she's moving OK for a Campbell Clone..."
O'Dell: "But, still, Wilkinson is dominating the proceedings. Dennings banging back in spots, scoring a little more than she has in the first two rounds, but, it's not nearly enough to offset what the blonde's getting done, head, body, head again. GOOD right from Kendra there..."
Cassie: "Wilkinson determined to get Kat out of there, but it's not happening."
O'Dell: "Not at this point. We're down to 15 seconds in the round. SHARP exchange there and both fighters landed some good punches...and there's the bell. STAREDOWN! Kendra saying 'I'm kicking your'...and Kat saying 'Yeah, but I'm still here.' Ref between the ladies and sends them to their corners. Kendra. Wide."
Tess: "And, she's built a WHOPPING 30-26 lead."
ROUND FOUR:
O'Dell: "Fourth begins with Kat holding her ground now and HERE WE GO! FIREFIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING! Dennings and Wilkinson letting the hands go, banging away to both head and body. Nobody willing to take a backward step now and both ladies landing a TON of hard shot..."
Tess: "Kat DIGGING that body..."
O'Dell: "And not neglecting the upstairs, either. Meanwhile, Kendra's thumping back hard, committing on everything. Lot of mutual dislike behind those punches at the moment. SHARP exchange sends sweat flying, but nobody willing to slow this down or back up despite all the punishment..."
Cassie: "Wilkinson is making a mistake doing this with Kat. Especially tonight."
O'Dell: "We're coming down the stretch. Dennings a BIG right backs up the blonde, but Kendra steps right back to and goes back to work. More body work from both blonde and brunette. Final seconds ticking off and there's the bell. Ref quickly between the fighters. Close. Dennings on the board."
McCarthy: "But still down three, 39-36."
ROUND FIVE:
O'Dell: "Into the fifth and right back into the phone booth. Nobody making a pretense of anything in there. They're just meeting in the center of the ring and going at it. Working head and especially body, doing a TON of tenderizing of ribs and midsection at the moment..."
Cassie: "But, it's not just brawling..."
O'Dell: "Absolutely not. Both ladies moving heads, hands, and feet, playing some good defense, not making it easy for her rival. But, EVERYBODY is sitting down on punches and sending out a TON of heavy leather, especially to those bread baskets. We can hear the THWACK of leather hitting flesh VERY clearly..."
McCarthy: "I'm GLAD these two are POUNDING one another. The only thing that would be better is if I did it!"
O'Dell: "We're into the final seconds of the fifth, and, for the second-straight round, not a lot in it. And, also, nobody slowing down. Ladies dripping sweat, but they're still digging, digging right to the bell. There it is, and, once again it's going to be Dennings by a slim margin."
Tess: "And, Kat's cut Kendra's lead to 48-46."
ROUND SIX:
O'Dell: "Sixth underway and it starts just like the fifth ended, with both blonde and brunette in the booth banging body. Wilkinson a SOLID right hand that backed Dennings up, but Kat stepping right back to and going right back to work pummeling Kendra's ribs and midsection..."
Tess: "All of this body work IS going to have an effect, but, we're not seeing it yet..."
O'Dell: "We are not. Nobody slowing down an iota at the moment. If anything, the ladies are working harder now than they were in the first. Kendra a SOLID right hand and KAT DROPS HER! Oh, that was the SHOVEL HOOK to the liver and Kendra is DOWN, curled into a ball in the middle of the ring!"
McCarthy: "GET UP, YOU BACKSTABBER! DON'T LET HER WIN!"
Cassie (singing): "Turn out the liiiggghhhttssss. The party's ohhhverrrrrrr...."
O'Dell: "Kat stomping to a neutral corner. Kendra bereft in the middle of the ring, eyes tightly closed, both gloves at her midsection. Count at three. Four. Five. Wilkinson, teeth gritted in agony, can only watch the numbers get bigger. Seven. Eight. Nine. TEN! It's OVER! And your winner by KO6 is Kat 'The Rack' Dennings!"
McCarthy: "Lucky! But, Wilkinson deserved to lose!"
AFTER:
O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"
Tess: "I have our winner, Kat Dennings, and, Kat, that was BRUTAL..."
Kat: "Yeah. And a hell of a lot more brutal for HER than it was for me. Which was the plan all along."
Tess: "What's next for you?"
Kat (smiling): "Oh, I have plans. Big plans."