Post by HBO's Boxing At The Asylum on Mar 31, 2021 13:31:22 GMT -6
BEFORE:
"Last time I was here," says Cobie with a smile, "I gave Taylor Hill all she wanted. And, not long after that, Taylor Hill won the title. Well. This girl isn't going to be winning any gold any time soon, so..."
"Oh," says Kennedy with a smile of her own, "I might not be as good as Taylor Hill at the moment. But. I'm better than Cobie Smulders...as she's about to find out."
ROUND ONE:
O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Kiss Me Deadly' by Lita Ford, and here comes Vancouver's Cobie Smulders."
McCarthy: "And, the only thing uglier than Taylor Hill's face is Smulders' record..."
Tess: "But, Cobie isn't wrong about her bout with Taylor. She gave Hill a fight..."
O'Dell: "Smulders into the ring and helped off with the robe. She's looking plenty good in that deep blue number we've seen before..."
Oh, the shark, babe
Has such teeth, dear
Cassie: "MAC WILL SUE! CALL HER LAWYER, SIRI!"
McCarthy: "SHUT UP, SCABBO!"
Tess: "Wait...you're NOT going to sue?"
McCarthy: "OF COURSE I'M GOING TO SUE! SHE STOLE MY SONG!"
Cassie: "Uncle Wiz BOUGHT the song for the MILLIONTH time..."
McCarthy: "I'M TAKING THIS ALL THE WAY TO THE SUPREMES COURT!"
Tess: "Where Diana Ross is, apparently, Chief Justice..."
O'Dell (sighing): "Over half way there. Soon, that bottle from Pointy's cellar and a glass. Just ONE glass. The song you hear, fans, is 'Mack The Knife' by Bobby Darin, and that can only mean that Kennedy 'Mack The Knife' McMann is on her way to the ring..."
McCarthy: "SHE'S A FRAUD! I'M THE ONE AND ONLY MAC THE KNIFE AND WEIRDO KNOWS IT!"
O'Dell: "McMann into the ring and helped off with he robe by Jewel and Neve. She's getting a pop from the crowd, which appreciates how she looks in that lavender number we've seen before..."
McCarthy: "SHE CAN'T HOLD A CANDLE TO ME! I'LL COME UP THERE! I'LL COME UP THERE..."
O'Dell: "Now, calm DOWN, Mac, before we get pulled for 'Tiger King II: Prison Boogaloo'. Ladies are about ready. Time for some picks. Tess likes Kennedy. Mac?"
McCarthy: "FRAUD! SMULDERS!"
O'Dell: "Cassie?"
Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"
O'Dell: "And, we're underway. McMann setting up at range, looking to box. Cobie willing to play on these terms. Ladies have some length and they're using it, jabbing, following on with rights and SMULDERS DROPS MCMANN! Oh, what a right hand from the Canadian and Kennedy is DOWN!"
McCarthy: "YES! YES! KO1! YES!"
O'Dell: "Cobie quickly to a neutral corner. Referee's count at three. Four. Five. Kennedy sitting up at six. Seven. Eight. McMann to her feet at nine. Referee going to give her the mandatory and WAIVE ON SMULDERS! Cobie ALL OVER the younger woman, letting the hands go, backing her into the ropes..."
Cassie: "Kennedy just needs to ride this out."
O'Dell: "And, that's clearly the plan. She's got the guard high, rolling with. Ref looking in as the older woman throws everything but the kitchen sink at the younger. Kennedy firing back in spots, keeping the ref at bay as Cobie piles up points and punishment right to the bell. What a start for Smulders. 10-8 round."
Tess: "Only positive for McMann is, she's still standing."
ROUND TWO:
O'Dell: "Second begins with Smulders aiming to eliminate Kennedy's one positive. Cobie walking the younger woman down, setting her up with the jab, following with hard right hands. McMann giving ground, firing back here and there, but mostly content to play defense..."
Tess: "And play for time, no doubt."
O'Dell: "No doubt about it. Canadian definitely thinking 'finish' right now. She's letting the hands go again and again. And, she's landing some good shot, but McMann able to ship it and continue floating. Kennedy backed to the ropes now. She's got the guard high..."
McCarthy: "STOP IT, REF! HAVE SOME GUTS!"
O'Dell: "Ref looking in, but seeing no reason to stop the fight at the moment. Smulders piling up points, firing away with both hands, digging a little body here and there, but concentrating upstairs, looking for the 'off' button. Not going to find it, though. Five seconds left. Good right from Cobie and there's the bell! Smulders. Wide."
Cassie: "And Cobie extends the lead to 20-17."
ROUND THREE:
O'Dell: "Smulders in control, backing up McMann. She's dominated this fight in a big way, and that doesn't look like changing any time soon. Canadian just taking the fight to the American, backing her up over and over again. Kennedy's legs look to be back, but Cobie's still getting much the better of things."
Cassie: "McMann's got to hold canvas here, stop getting backed up."
O'Dell: "Indeed, she does, but Smulders not cooperating at the moment. Cobie's got everything going right now. She's landing the jab, following with right hands, putting punches together very, very well. McMann able to counter in spots, but that's about all she's getting done."
McCarthy: "That's because she's a talentless FRAUD!"
O'Dell: "Twenty seconds to go in the third. It's been almost all Cobie just like the first two rounds. SHARP exchange there, and McMann landed her best punch of the fight, but Cobie got the better of it with a couple of solid shots of her own and there's the bell. Smulders wide again."
Tess: "And, the Canadian's lead is getting really big. 30-26."
ROUND FOUR:
O'Dell: "Smulders working forward again, but Kennedy holding ground now and firing back and landing a HARD RIGHT HAND! That got Cobie's attention! Canadian not hurt, but stopped in her tracks and now the American making with the offense forcing Smulders to cover up!"
Tess: "That was a SOLID right hand. Cobie took that very well."
O'Dell: "Sure did, but she's taking a TON of fire right now! McMann, all of a sudden, has gotten it going and she's now the one taking the fight to the older woman. She's backing up Cobie here and there, keeping her on the defensive with steady, accurate fire. What a turnaround..."
Cassie: "Just had to shake off that early knockdown. THIS is what Kennedy can do!"
O'Dell: "And, she IS doing it, putting punches together, backing up Cobie again. Smulders playing this smart. Not going to get into a firefight here with the big lead she has. McMann another solid combination, landing a NICE right hand in there and there's the bell. Kennedy's on the board, taking the fourth wide."
McCarthy: "But, Smulders still leads The Fraud 39-36."
ROUND FIVE:
O'Dell: "Fifth begins with Kennedy pushing the issue again, but now it's Cobie who's determined to hold canvas and doing it well. And, the ladies now settle in at range looking to box, which is where we started back in the first before Smulders hit the big right hand that turned things sideways for Kennedy..."
Cassie: "I like Kennedy on these terms. But, she's got some ground to make up..."
O'Dell: "That, she does, and Smulders doing well on these terms, as well. We're seeing some good tactical and technical stuff right now. Both fighters moving feet, head, hands, creating openings and then filling them with leather. Punches out and back quickly. Good defense being played here..."
McCarthy: "Especially by Cobie. She's a veteran, and she's slick."
O'Dell: "Down the stretch in a very competitive fifth, our first competitive round of the night. Good exchange there, with both fighters landing some sharp, accurate shot. McMann jabbing, Smulders stepping away and landing a nice right hand and there's the bell. Close. Cobie."
Tess: "And, Smulders back up four, 49-45, with just five to go."
ROUND SIX:
O'Dell: "Second half begins with more ranged boxing and McMann upping the aggression. Kennedy well aware that she's behind in this one, and she's beginning to increase the work rate. She's getting off quickly and in combination, forcing Cobie to the defensive..."
McCarthy: "Smulders needs to play this smart. Don't trade with her!"
O'Dell: "And, that appears to be Cobie's strategy. She's fine working the counter, playing defense. Kennedy, meanwhile, wants to fight lead and is doing it well. Good combination there, backed Cobie up a step. Canadian moving the feet, angling, trying to stay off square..."
Tess: "But, McMann doing a good job of finding her."
O'Dell: "Sure is. This is the best round we've seen from Kennedy tonight. She's moving well, boxing well, taking control of the fight. Cobie giving a little more ground, jabbing. Five seconds to go. Good right hand from McMann and there's the bell. Not close at all. Kennedy."
Cassie: "And Cobie's lead is down to three, 58-55."
ROUND SEVEN:
O'Dell: "Seventh begins with McMann fighting lead. She's backing up Smulders with heavy shot. Cobie giving ground, keeping the guard high. Kennedy pressing the advantage, but in a sound way, using that jab to set up her right hands, putting punches together very well..."
Cassie: "This isn't a matter of Smulders not caring about getting off the back foot now. This is Smulders not being ABLE to get off the back foot."
O'Dell: "I think you're right. McMann's sustaining this aggression and very effectively, too. She's getting hard leather on target, forcing the Canadian to retreat again and again. Cobie not hurt, but she's reduced to fighting in counter right now as Kennedy piles up points..."
McCarthy: "Still has a nice lead. Just relax and wait for your opportunity."
O'Dell: "Ten seconds remaining. HARD right hand from the American got Cobie's attention and Smulders immediately clinches. Referee getting in there to break the ladies apart, but, by the time he gets that done, the bell rings to end the seventh. Not close again. Kennedy."
Tess: "McMann continues to gain. 67-65, Smulders."
ROUND EIGHT:
O'Dell: "McMann continuing to impose will as we start the eighth. American has taken over the fight completely after a very fast start from Smulders. Canadian being backed up as she has been for the last few rounds. Can't seem to hold canvas or get on the front foot at all..."
Tess: "Kennedy really sitting down on her punches now..."
O'Dell: "That, she is. GOOD right hand from McMann forced Cobie to cover up. Smulders backed up again with a solid flurry from the younger woman. RIGHT HOOK, KENNEDY AND COBIE IS HURT! Smulders staggered and DOWN SHE GOES AFTER A BOOMING STRAIGHT RIGHT!"
Cassie (singing): "Turn out the liiiiggghhhhtttss. The party's ohhhhverrrrrr..."
O'Dell: "Kennedy to a neutral corner. Cobie down on her back, eyes closed. Ref counting down on her. Three. Four. Five. No movement at all from Smulders. Six. Seven. Eight. Not going to happen. Nine. TEN! It's OVER! Cobie down and out and it's OVER! And your winner by KO8 is Kennedy 'Mac The Knife' McMann!"
McCarthy: "LUCKY PUNCH AND SHE'S A FRAUD!"
AFTER:
O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"
Tess: "I have our winner, Kennedy McMann, and, Kennedy, a bit of a slow start tonight..."
Kennedy (nodding): "She caught me, no question about that. It happens. But, what Wiz always says is, everybody gets caught. What matters is how you handle that. It wasn't easy, but I handled it."
Tess: "Lot of good lightweights at Front Street. Do you worry about how you stack up?"
Kennedy (shaking her head): "Not at ALL. I come out here and do my job. I work hard. I get better. That's all I worry about."
"Last time I was here," says Cobie with a smile, "I gave Taylor Hill all she wanted. And, not long after that, Taylor Hill won the title. Well. This girl isn't going to be winning any gold any time soon, so..."
"Oh," says Kennedy with a smile of her own, "I might not be as good as Taylor Hill at the moment. But. I'm better than Cobie Smulders...as she's about to find out."
ROUND ONE:
O'Dell: "Back at ringside and that's 'Kiss Me Deadly' by Lita Ford, and here comes Vancouver's Cobie Smulders."
McCarthy: "And, the only thing uglier than Taylor Hill's face is Smulders' record..."
Tess: "But, Cobie isn't wrong about her bout with Taylor. She gave Hill a fight..."
O'Dell: "Smulders into the ring and helped off with the robe. She's looking plenty good in that deep blue number we've seen before..."
Oh, the shark, babe
Has such teeth, dear
Cassie: "MAC WILL SUE! CALL HER LAWYER, SIRI!"
McCarthy: "SHUT UP, SCABBO!"
Tess: "Wait...you're NOT going to sue?"
McCarthy: "OF COURSE I'M GOING TO SUE! SHE STOLE MY SONG!"
Cassie: "Uncle Wiz BOUGHT the song for the MILLIONTH time..."
McCarthy: "I'M TAKING THIS ALL THE WAY TO THE SUPREMES COURT!"
Tess: "Where Diana Ross is, apparently, Chief Justice..."
O'Dell (sighing): "Over half way there. Soon, that bottle from Pointy's cellar and a glass. Just ONE glass. The song you hear, fans, is 'Mack The Knife' by Bobby Darin, and that can only mean that Kennedy 'Mack The Knife' McMann is on her way to the ring..."
McCarthy: "SHE'S A FRAUD! I'M THE ONE AND ONLY MAC THE KNIFE AND WEIRDO KNOWS IT!"
O'Dell: "McMann into the ring and helped off with he robe by Jewel and Neve. She's getting a pop from the crowd, which appreciates how she looks in that lavender number we've seen before..."
McCarthy: "SHE CAN'T HOLD A CANDLE TO ME! I'LL COME UP THERE! I'LL COME UP THERE..."
O'Dell: "Now, calm DOWN, Mac, before we get pulled for 'Tiger King II: Prison Boogaloo'. Ladies are about ready. Time for some picks. Tess likes Kennedy. Mac?"
McCarthy: "FRAUD! SMULDERS!"
O'Dell: "Cassie?"
Cassie: "I agree with Tess!"
O'Dell: "And, we're underway. McMann setting up at range, looking to box. Cobie willing to play on these terms. Ladies have some length and they're using it, jabbing, following on with rights and SMULDERS DROPS MCMANN! Oh, what a right hand from the Canadian and Kennedy is DOWN!"
McCarthy: "YES! YES! KO1! YES!"
O'Dell: "Cobie quickly to a neutral corner. Referee's count at three. Four. Five. Kennedy sitting up at six. Seven. Eight. McMann to her feet at nine. Referee going to give her the mandatory and WAIVE ON SMULDERS! Cobie ALL OVER the younger woman, letting the hands go, backing her into the ropes..."
Cassie: "Kennedy just needs to ride this out."
O'Dell: "And, that's clearly the plan. She's got the guard high, rolling with. Ref looking in as the older woman throws everything but the kitchen sink at the younger. Kennedy firing back in spots, keeping the ref at bay as Cobie piles up points and punishment right to the bell. What a start for Smulders. 10-8 round."
Tess: "Only positive for McMann is, she's still standing."
ROUND TWO:
O'Dell: "Second begins with Smulders aiming to eliminate Kennedy's one positive. Cobie walking the younger woman down, setting her up with the jab, following with hard right hands. McMann giving ground, firing back here and there, but mostly content to play defense..."
Tess: "And play for time, no doubt."
O'Dell: "No doubt about it. Canadian definitely thinking 'finish' right now. She's letting the hands go again and again. And, she's landing some good shot, but McMann able to ship it and continue floating. Kennedy backed to the ropes now. She's got the guard high..."
McCarthy: "STOP IT, REF! HAVE SOME GUTS!"
O'Dell: "Ref looking in, but seeing no reason to stop the fight at the moment. Smulders piling up points, firing away with both hands, digging a little body here and there, but concentrating upstairs, looking for the 'off' button. Not going to find it, though. Five seconds left. Good right from Cobie and there's the bell! Smulders. Wide."
Cassie: "And Cobie extends the lead to 20-17."
ROUND THREE:
O'Dell: "Smulders in control, backing up McMann. She's dominated this fight in a big way, and that doesn't look like changing any time soon. Canadian just taking the fight to the American, backing her up over and over again. Kennedy's legs look to be back, but Cobie's still getting much the better of things."
Cassie: "McMann's got to hold canvas here, stop getting backed up."
O'Dell: "Indeed, she does, but Smulders not cooperating at the moment. Cobie's got everything going right now. She's landing the jab, following with right hands, putting punches together very, very well. McMann able to counter in spots, but that's about all she's getting done."
McCarthy: "That's because she's a talentless FRAUD!"
O'Dell: "Twenty seconds to go in the third. It's been almost all Cobie just like the first two rounds. SHARP exchange there, and McMann landed her best punch of the fight, but Cobie got the better of it with a couple of solid shots of her own and there's the bell. Smulders wide again."
Tess: "And, the Canadian's lead is getting really big. 30-26."
ROUND FOUR:
O'Dell: "Smulders working forward again, but Kennedy holding ground now and firing back and landing a HARD RIGHT HAND! That got Cobie's attention! Canadian not hurt, but stopped in her tracks and now the American making with the offense forcing Smulders to cover up!"
Tess: "That was a SOLID right hand. Cobie took that very well."
O'Dell: "Sure did, but she's taking a TON of fire right now! McMann, all of a sudden, has gotten it going and she's now the one taking the fight to the older woman. She's backing up Cobie here and there, keeping her on the defensive with steady, accurate fire. What a turnaround..."
Cassie: "Just had to shake off that early knockdown. THIS is what Kennedy can do!"
O'Dell: "And, she IS doing it, putting punches together, backing up Cobie again. Smulders playing this smart. Not going to get into a firefight here with the big lead she has. McMann another solid combination, landing a NICE right hand in there and there's the bell. Kennedy's on the board, taking the fourth wide."
McCarthy: "But, Smulders still leads The Fraud 39-36."
ROUND FIVE:
O'Dell: "Fifth begins with Kennedy pushing the issue again, but now it's Cobie who's determined to hold canvas and doing it well. And, the ladies now settle in at range looking to box, which is where we started back in the first before Smulders hit the big right hand that turned things sideways for Kennedy..."
Cassie: "I like Kennedy on these terms. But, she's got some ground to make up..."
O'Dell: "That, she does, and Smulders doing well on these terms, as well. We're seeing some good tactical and technical stuff right now. Both fighters moving feet, head, hands, creating openings and then filling them with leather. Punches out and back quickly. Good defense being played here..."
McCarthy: "Especially by Cobie. She's a veteran, and she's slick."
O'Dell: "Down the stretch in a very competitive fifth, our first competitive round of the night. Good exchange there, with both fighters landing some sharp, accurate shot. McMann jabbing, Smulders stepping away and landing a nice right hand and there's the bell. Close. Cobie."
Tess: "And, Smulders back up four, 49-45, with just five to go."
ROUND SIX:
O'Dell: "Second half begins with more ranged boxing and McMann upping the aggression. Kennedy well aware that she's behind in this one, and she's beginning to increase the work rate. She's getting off quickly and in combination, forcing Cobie to the defensive..."
McCarthy: "Smulders needs to play this smart. Don't trade with her!"
O'Dell: "And, that appears to be Cobie's strategy. She's fine working the counter, playing defense. Kennedy, meanwhile, wants to fight lead and is doing it well. Good combination there, backed Cobie up a step. Canadian moving the feet, angling, trying to stay off square..."
Tess: "But, McMann doing a good job of finding her."
O'Dell: "Sure is. This is the best round we've seen from Kennedy tonight. She's moving well, boxing well, taking control of the fight. Cobie giving a little more ground, jabbing. Five seconds to go. Good right hand from McMann and there's the bell. Not close at all. Kennedy."
Cassie: "And Cobie's lead is down to three, 58-55."
ROUND SEVEN:
O'Dell: "Seventh begins with McMann fighting lead. She's backing up Smulders with heavy shot. Cobie giving ground, keeping the guard high. Kennedy pressing the advantage, but in a sound way, using that jab to set up her right hands, putting punches together very well..."
Cassie: "This isn't a matter of Smulders not caring about getting off the back foot now. This is Smulders not being ABLE to get off the back foot."
O'Dell: "I think you're right. McMann's sustaining this aggression and very effectively, too. She's getting hard leather on target, forcing the Canadian to retreat again and again. Cobie not hurt, but she's reduced to fighting in counter right now as Kennedy piles up points..."
McCarthy: "Still has a nice lead. Just relax and wait for your opportunity."
O'Dell: "Ten seconds remaining. HARD right hand from the American got Cobie's attention and Smulders immediately clinches. Referee getting in there to break the ladies apart, but, by the time he gets that done, the bell rings to end the seventh. Not close again. Kennedy."
Tess: "McMann continues to gain. 67-65, Smulders."
ROUND EIGHT:
O'Dell: "McMann continuing to impose will as we start the eighth. American has taken over the fight completely after a very fast start from Smulders. Canadian being backed up as she has been for the last few rounds. Can't seem to hold canvas or get on the front foot at all..."
Tess: "Kennedy really sitting down on her punches now..."
O'Dell: "That, she is. GOOD right hand from McMann forced Cobie to cover up. Smulders backed up again with a solid flurry from the younger woman. RIGHT HOOK, KENNEDY AND COBIE IS HURT! Smulders staggered and DOWN SHE GOES AFTER A BOOMING STRAIGHT RIGHT!"
Cassie (singing): "Turn out the liiiiggghhhhtttss. The party's ohhhhverrrrrr..."
O'Dell: "Kennedy to a neutral corner. Cobie down on her back, eyes closed. Ref counting down on her. Three. Four. Five. No movement at all from Smulders. Six. Seven. Eight. Not going to happen. Nine. TEN! It's OVER! Cobie down and out and it's OVER! And your winner by KO8 is Kennedy 'Mac The Knife' McMann!"
McCarthy: "LUCKY PUNCH AND SHE'S A FRAUD!"
AFTER:
O'Dell: "Let's go up to the ring and Tess Valmore!"
Tess: "I have our winner, Kennedy McMann, and, Kennedy, a bit of a slow start tonight..."
Kennedy (nodding): "She caught me, no question about that. It happens. But, what Wiz always says is, everybody gets caught. What matters is how you handle that. It wasn't easy, but I handled it."
Tess: "Lot of good lightweights at Front Street. Do you worry about how you stack up?"
Kennedy (shaking her head): "Not at ALL. I come out here and do my job. I work hard. I get better. That's all I worry about."