Cardi B versus Sasha Pieterse

Cardi: 27 YO, 5’3 (1.60 m), 2-1-0, 2 KO since 2019. Global Boxing Syndicate



Sasha: 24 YO, 5’6 (1.67 m) , 14-13-0, 13 KO since 2014, Pretty Little Punchers Inc.



Before: The 5’3 Cardi B is giving up 3 inches to the 5’6 Sasha Pieterse, but the sultry singer-dancer just shrugs. “I did have some trouble with Kaley Cuoco and lost that fight, but then I figured out how to cut down a taller girl so Anne Hathaway was left kissing the canvas. I am small but I got meat to back up my punches. I used to love watching Dani Fishel on FCBA TV taking on bigger chicks. She’s my model.”

Sasha is not impressed: “I happen to know Dani Fishel, she’s a good friend of the PLP an you are no Dani Fishel. Hathaway is hardly more than a jobber. I am the real deal and you are going find too much to handle.”

“Don’t you talk to me like that you fat cow!” Cardi retorts.

“You watch your mouth!” Sasha snaps.

“Hey, maybe this fight will help melt a few pounds off you or I’ll punch them off for you,” taunts Cardi, seeing Sasha get red in the face.

Sasha goes for Cardi with a pitcher of water from the speaker’s table and throws the contents it into Cardi’s face. Cardi falls back spluttering, but seizes a water pitcher of her own and heaves the contents into Sasha’s face. The two are now in soaked tee shirts and shorts. There is only a momentary pause before they rush forward and engage in spirited top tugging and face slapping Cardi’s sunny yellow GBS tee shirt is ripped open first (she’s weaing a pale yellow bra JMD under it), but moments later Sasha’s black and gold PLP tee shirt is sundered from her body to reveal a silver with black trim bra). Two bang their chests together. (Cardi’s impressive 34DD are getting a hard challenge from Sasha’s 36 B’s). They are grinding their juggs together in a unusual test of jugg strength when FCBA Securtity appears to separate the two amid loud boos and groans from the unruly crowd.

“Hers may be bigger, but I got more of them,” Cardi says on a social media in reference to jugg superiority.”

“Yeah, she’s got more that will soon start sagging,” says an unkind response from Sasha.

Match is not listed as JMD at Fight Time, but JMD fans are hopeful as the two fighters take the ring. Sasha is in a dark grey one piece with light prey gloves and boots (dark grey laces). Her hair is pulled back in a simple ponytail. Cardi is in a shining purple one piece with matching gloves and boots (blue laces). Cardi has her hair dyed purple with blue streaks and wound it into a long purple and blue braid down her back. Two fighters look raring to go as they bump hips, bellies and boobs to enliven the pre-fight. Referee has to scold them both for this lack of proper decorum and then manages to get through the actual ring instruction. Meaty SMACK of the gloves and the fighters are off to their corners. Crowd already cheering as the bell rigs.

R1: Cardi going right to Sasha’s body as soon as she can get across the ring and start pumping those purple gloves to the PLP fighter. Cardi hooking to the stomach and ribs with big digging blows. Sasha trying to reply with body shots of her own, but Cardi shows good footwork that keeps her moving. Sasha’s blows not landing squarely and so not discouraging Cardi. Cardi then stuffing punches into Sasha’s flanks, giving those side ribs some rough treatment. Then (“Finally!” some the crowd cry), Cardi be goes for Sasha’s melons. Rights and lefts bang those big hooters from side to side and then she goes to the undersides with uppercuts. Sasha instantly responds with a burst of straight rights and lefts into the proud tetons that fill the bra cups on Cardi’s suit. Then, as Sasha is going after Cardi’s juggs, Cardi catches Sasha busurprise with an overhand right that smacks the blonde in the right eye—hard. Sasha shudders and backs away the area around her right eye rapidly become red and swollen. Cardi pursues with more hooks to the midsection to finish out the round. Cardi wins the opening stanza wide.

R2: PLP corner has to work hard on that hurting right eye. They get Sasha out for the bell and Sasha wastes little time in going after Cardi. Sasha makes some quick moves aimed at Cardi’s knockers, but these are quickly revealed as feints. Sasha’s real interest is landing her leather hard and often against Cardi B’s head. Cardi banged up quickly as solid Sasha shots come crashing into her jaw, chin and cheekbones. Cardi getting her head bounced around by thes blows and goes into a stumbling retreat from the punches that have left her brain filled with ringing bells and chirping birdies. Sasha works Cardi’s face until Cardi can get her mitts up to protect her suddenly swollen and aching countenance. Sasha now turns her attention to Cardi’s breasts and gives them a vicious scrubbing. Cardi trying to lash back with her jab, but Sasha is not to be stopped until the bell rings. Only then does Sasha step back from the beleaguered Cardi and march off to her own corner. Cardi goes to her corner, but more slowly and stiffly. Sasha Pieterse comes back with a wide win in R2.

R3: Cardi was challenged by Sasha in the last round so she eager to fully respond in this round. Cardi out fast and coming in close to work Sasha hard In the body. A more comprehensive body attack as Cardi works on Sasha to the belly, ribs and, of course, her juggs. Sasha at first striking at Cardi to the sides of the head with some success, but Cardi’s determined body busting finally forces Sasha to go at Cardi’s torso with pounding leather of her own. Now the two of them are virtually toe to toe and lifting short rights and lefts into each other’s bodies. Grinding work and Cardi slowly gets Sasha to give ground through a sustained series of belly hooks that back Sasha up all doubled forward with ache. Sasha jabbing back, trying to make Cardi pay for her aggression, but at the bell, Cardi pulls out a narrow victory for the round. Sasha breathing hard as she walks to her corner, but then sits on her stool scowling. Cardi B in much better mood as she goes to her corner and seems quite happy as she waits for the bell.

R4: Sasha out a good clip at the bell and she immediately strikes at Cardi with a lunging right that catches the singer on the jaw. Cardi sent lurching away from the blow and Sasha is on he at once Punches are slamming down on the smaller Cardi, banging her to the head and chest. Cardi just trying to cover her head from all the leather. Then Sasha puts hooks to Cardi’s belly meat with deep digging blows that propels a bent over Cardi into the ropes. Now Sasha tries to beat Cardi down with sheets of leather to the body. Cardi managing to protect her head and braces her feet to stay up despite Sasha’s pounding efforts. Sasha working hard, but she can’t seem to weaken Cardi’s legs and the singer is still upright at the bell. Sasha stomps away looking frustrated. Cardi just looks relieved she’s still in this fight. Sasha wins the round wide.

R5: Sasha seems determined to pick up where she left off in the last round, but Cardi B I not cooperating. Cardi suddenly becomes evasive and tries to keep Sasha at a a distance. Sasha trying to cut off the ring, but the slippery rookie won’t let her. Sasha starts lunging, trying to score against Cardi’s jaw and chin a distance. Cardi ducking and dodging, but she’s seeing opportunity knocking. Sasha lunges forward once too often and CARDI B STRIKES BACK! The smaller fighter ducks under Sasha ‘s right and comes up with a hammering uppercut to the chin. Sasha’s head snaps back but her momentum carries her into Cardi who shoves her away. Sasha looking blankly at Cardi and then BANG! BANG! The ol’ one two: left hook/right cross comb slams into the dazed Sasha’s chin. Sasha stares vacantly at Cardi who is reviving up a big right, but never gets the chance to use it. SASHA CRASHES FORWARD LIKE A FELLED TREE. Big THUD as Sasha’s body slams down and she lies there, cheek resting wetly against the canvas, a little drool seeping from her mouth. Cardi scrambles to the neutral corner and watches. Sasha raises her head and looks up at the referee with what’s-going-on expression, but that’s all she can manage.

“NINE!...TEN!...YOU ARE OUT!”

THE WINNER CARDI B DEFEATS SASHA PIETERSE KO5!

After: Cardi gets her arm raised in victory and she wears a big smile on her face. Then she goes over to pose over the fallen Sasha. Referee has to push the excited Cardi away so Sasha’s PLP tenders can get her on her meet and back to the dressing room.

“I was hoping I would get the chance to smother that blonde bytch out, but I’ll settle for knocking her onto her flabby tits,” says a smirking Cardi in the post-fight. “I hope this will end any talk that I will have problems with bigger chicks. Bring ‘em on: they’ll end up being KO’d like Pieterse!”

PLP spokesperson Autumn Reeser tells Arche New Service’s Skip Tracey: “Our medical staff says Sasha will be all right. Sasha asked me to tell her fans she’s sorry she let them down. ‘I got too anxious in the 5th Round and got careless. Cardi took advantage and starched me good. I will admit she’s got talent, especially in punching power, but she’s not all that much better than me. And, oh yes, my tits are NOT flabby! Some day she’ll find that out when I smother her with them’.”

Lively back and forth battle. On ha to agree with Cardi B, coming on top of the Anne Hathaway fight (Anne is 5’8), she has shown she can defeat taller opponents. The question is if she can do it against higher quality opponents, but those are fights that can now be looked forward to with interest, Meanwhile, Sasha Pieterse seems to be building a niche as something as a gatekeeper. A fighter the PLP can use to test potential opponents. She looked good out there, but, as she herself admitted, she got careless and paid the price. We look forward to whoever gets the Sasha Pieterse Challenge next.