Adrianne Palicki versus Hilary Rhoda (Welterweight Title)

Press conference: Hilary Rhoda, confident … bordering on cocky! “Look – all credit to Adrianne – she’s the one who finally knocked the queen off the throne – but I think Amanda was wearing down – she lost to Jenner, a lightweight – and Palicki was just in the right place in the right time. And I’m not buying into the ‘chin checker’ hype … I mean, this chick lost five straight at lightweight – so forgive me if I’m not the least bit scared! Where was all this big hitting power then? Look, this girl is used to intimidating with her height – but when she steps center ring with me? I’m gonna be looking her right in the eye … and I think she’s gonna flinch!”

Adrianne Palicki, “the Big Girl Scout” as stablemates McCarthy and Nolin dubbed her, not one for trash talk. “Mr. McGee was not happy about me taking this fight, but I want to fight the best, and if that means I don’t hold the belt – then I didn’t deserve to hold it. Hilary Rhoda has an incredible record … 31-and 9, I think … and she’s the number one contender … so this is the fight that needs to happen.”

The line: Off the Righetti fight, Adrianne Palicki established as a solid favorite, notwithstanding Hilary Rhoda’s far better record – a stunning 75% winning percentage! There is a run of late money on Rhoda – and the old adage is “Late money is smart money”. Sporting press able to corral the Grand Wizard for his thoughts. “Well, boys … and ladies of course … Hilary Rhoda’s has won like few in the history of this organization … 31 and 9 … that’s no flash in the pan! But like a lot of girls in this division, she saw this road block – the most dominant fighter alive – Big Rig … and figured she’s blocked from the title. Then Palciki comes along … and she’s seen as a blow up lightweight with a losing record lately BUT … she manages to take out Righetti! So now you got a hungry talented Hilary Rhoda .. and she sees a path where there wasn’t one before … and you don’t want to be in the way of that kind of fighter.”

Young reporter “So you’re betting Rhoda?”

Man in the Hat, with an eye roll, addresses more seasoned reporters, “Thing is … and I like the kid -class act with a ton of heart Palicki might not be the best welterweight … she clearly wasn’t the best lightweight … BUT … she was the biggest hitter in the lightweight division. Question was … does that punch travel up to welterweight? Is she the biggest hitter in the welterweight division? Well, she dropped Bridgy Regs … and that’s a tall order … and then, after taking a hellacious beating for nine rounds, she one-shotted the Champ and THAT got a lot of people’s attention, including mine>”

Young reporter, “So you’re betting Palicki?”

Wizard, with an exasperated sigh, “Young man, rule 1 - you don’t ever ask me if I’m betting a fight, capeesh? Rule 2 – in case you forget rule 1? You don’t ever ever ask me who I’m betting on!”

Fight night: Hilary to ring wearing a white sports bra, white trunks with her black "Queenslayer" badge on the left leg, black gloves, white shoes, with her brunette hair in a ponytail, accompanied by trainers Taryn Terrell and Rebecca Romjin. Newly crowned champion Palicki with new walk up music, LL Cool J thundering “Mama said knock you out …” wearing familiar orange crocheted bikini with black gloves and boots, accompanied by veteran trainer Scrubby McGee, Jenny “Mac the Knife” McCarthy, and Big Bad Gena Lee Nolin. Girls to center ring, Hilary steely eyed … forcing eye contact with Palicki, and as advertised, the tall model able to look the “Chin Checker: square in the eye! “Hope you shined that belt for me!”, chuckles Hilary, which draws a “Show some class, sl*t!” out of Gena Lee Nolin, and referee is already earning his money keeping the two groups apart.

Round 1: Big girls out of the corners, Hilary Rhoda, crouching slightly, dukes high, side to side movement; Adrianna Palicki, all lanky, right hand cocked by cheek and left dangling low. Rhoda, bobs and weaves, jabs to midriff with left and then brings hook up to head – jab lands square but champion leans long neck back to avoid hook. Brunette grins and bats fists together, advances – blond giving up canvas but backpedaling in good order. Hilary jabs, glancing shot and follow up with right. Palicki slips the right and slings own right back and challenger is smote! Ringing right hand off temple has Hilary Rhoda stepping in post holes! The chamion follows up with buggy whip lest hook to opponent’s flank, drawing a grunt from the brunette, who lunges forward to clinch. Referee working hard to disentangle big girls as Rhoda hang on hard. Precious seconds tick by – Jenny Mac screaming from corner “Break … Break!”. When ref gets fighter sorted out, Rhoda with head cleared engages in fighting retreat … poking out a distance keeper jab to try to keep stalking blonde off of her. Bell rings and it’s a dominant opening round for Palicki.

Round 2: Hilary reassured by corner, “See? Just like we said – this chick’s a one trick pony! All she’s got is that right hand … now you circle away from it, right? Use your speed, outclass this tramp, and eventually she’s gonna reach – then you bust her with the counter right and walk out of here with a belt around your waist!”

Rhoda out of corner with laser focus. Jab … jab … jab … not all landing but disrupting blonde’s rhythm. Always with little head feints … always circling to her right … away from that vaunted “Hammer of Thor”. Palicki dutifully following (even as Scrubby McGee, badly slurring, is calling for her to cut ring, not just follow!). Looking to jab with but Rhoda getting better of exchanges … occasionally knocking champion’s head back with some extra snap. Abrupt halt, puts weight on left foot and whacks flank with left hook, then brings left back up to check the chin checker! Palicki stunned … responds with slapping left hook of her own to side of brunette jaw. Rhoda eats it, spits it out, and cracks blonde to the temple with counter right. Champion stumbles back to steps … all wide eyed and blinking! Taryn Terrell in Girls Friday corner, slams palm hard on canvas and shouts “NOW!” … and unleashes Hurricane Hilary! Straight at the welterweight champion, zero fear of that vaunted punching power – the best defense IS a good offense! Pressing blonde inexorably to ropes with little shots to ribs and shoulders. Brunette sets up camp and begins the siege … left … then double left hook to flank draw a grunt out of Adrianne and she folds forward to protect ribs. Well schooled Rhoda taps right flank with hook, bouncing off tucked elbow, then pops hips right and lean into left uppercut which splits the gloves and telescopes the champion’s neck. Palicki hurt! Reaches with long arms looking to clinch but Hilary not having it … shrugging shoulder, pumping arms, and taking belly, ribs and jugs. No one shot is devastating but the accumulation is … at bell, Palicki having difficulty straightening up, cramping. Chirpy Rhoda taps top or her head to get attention, faux sweet smile and promise, “I’ll see you in one short minute, dear!” Big comeback round …near shutout Rhoda … one judge scoring it 10-8 for challenger without a knockdown!

Round 3: Palicki with ice pack on neck and ribs between rounds. Scrubby McGee snarling, “Dammit Addie … Ya didn’t take all dat punishment for nine rounds from da best fighta in da woild ta give up yer title ta dis bum!” (Scrubby McGee pricking the big girl’s pride and invoking the Righetti fight). Rhoda out of corner quick, looking to re-establish momentum but thwarted by long jab of the blonde – solid thud to forehead blunting brunette bull rush. Girls Friday corner calling out “Take your time, Hil … work her!” Rhoda backs off, resets, and forward thoughtfully, jabbing to back Palicki up and disrupt, then looking to bang right flank with left hook. Adrianne with a fighting retreat, weight always on back foot but buffeting her own left hook at brunette pate, occasionally sling the right but Rhoda able to weave and it skids off scalp with minimal damage. Late in the round, Adrianne lands hook to jaw, jolting Hilary and follow up right has her stumbling back. It’s not the ‘diamond cutter’ right but it’s enough to bank a close round for the champion.

Round 4: Girls Friday corner admonishing Hilary Rhoda “Don’t let her off the hook!”. Hilary recommits to what worked before – jabbing her way in, side to side motion, never giving the lanky puncher a stationary target. Inside, Hilary working her way up, left right to the body and emphasized with left hook to the head …. and then out! Unharmed …. And always circling away from the Palicki right. Big Adrianne flustered … frustrated … begins to reach with that right hand late. Rhoda coolly dances away … until late in the round when brunette pivots abruptly, weight tshift from back to front foot as she slings counter right – reallgy gets her back into the whack - which crashes off champion’s temple. Palicki wide eyed … stunned … staggers backward … and Rhoda is ON her! Blazing away with both hands … ribs … jugs … head and blonde turtling up, taking punishment until mercifully quick bell. Another big round for Hilary Rhoda – again one judge scoring it a 10-8 round on near shut out domination.

Round 5: Palicki out of corner up on her toes, looking to showcase underrated boxing skills. Slight problem – Hilary Rhoda matcher her in height and is arguably faster. But experience nod is to the blonde. It is a cautious round … big girls flicking the jab … only occasionally committing to the power shots. Hard to call but judges give slight nod to Palicki … one of the perks of being the defending champ!

Round 6: Taryn Terrell in Rhoda’s ear, demanding she turn up the pressure. Hilary out of corner with mitts at her chin, bobbing , weaving, jabbing her way in and backing big Adrianne up. When blonde’s back hits the cables, challenger unleashes a left right left flurry to the midriff – Palicki responds with the big right but it sails over brunette’s head and Hilary guts the champion with uppercut just below sternum. Palicki sagging … in trouble … corner screaming for the clinch but Rhoda not having it! Wrestles hands free and blasts away with both hands. Palicki looks to spin off ropes and gets caught on the end of an overhand right. BLONDE GIRL DOWN! Adrianne finds herself sitting on canvas … blinking repeatedly. Hilary Rhoda throws hands in air in triumph as she is guided to neutral corner. Ref picks up count at 6 … Palicki on one knee, shaking head to clear the cobwebs … up at eight and ref wipes off the gloves … and here comes Hilary Rhoda! Welterweight championship is there for the taking and the brunette is feeling greedy … batters blonde with left right to flank … Adrianne grunts and wraps up. As second tick by, Rhoda furiously trying t free hands but with Palicki’s long limbs its like wrestling an octopus. Bell rings. Rhoda chesting up and telling Adriane alllllllllllllllll about it.

Round 7: Hilary patient, a little punched out, stalking, looking for that shot that will find the off switch. Adrianne more than happy not to press the pace … backpedaling … using long jab to keep range. At one minute mark, Taryn Terrell yells “NOW!” but it cues Palicki to clinch! Referee working hard to try to disentangle the big girls. Not a lot of action in the round but a LOT of frustration from the Girls Friday corner who are not too gently telling referee to do his damn job – “It’s boxing, not wrestling!”

Round 8: Fight going deep and the girls digging deeper. Taryn in Hilary’s face “Take the title! You gotta take it – TAKE IT!”. Girls meet center ring and Hilary unleashes – left to ribs … left to head .. right to head … Palicki leans away from the right and slings back with her own right … RHODA DOWN! Its that ‘diamond cutter” and the challenger did not see it coming. Falls forward and she is out before she hits the canvas! Ref starts count … waives it off .. winner by knockout in the eighth round – Adrianne “The Chin Checker” Palicki!

Post fight. Adrianne graciously over to Girls’ Friday corner to check on Hilary Rhoda, pat her on cheek ad offer a word of encouragement. In ring interview, and Adrianne offers, “She’s good! She’s really good … and she’s young! She’ll be champ again – no doubt about it! (then Adrianne winking impishly) But not tonight!”

Palicki continues unexpected rampage through welterweight dictionary … Regan … Righetti … now Rhoda … looks like the “R”s are well sorted out! Various welterweight contenders ringside musing about when they’ll get shot at the big Girl Scout. Seeing a still dazed Hilary Rhoda helped from ring, as least a couple wonder it they really WANT to get in the ring and face the Hammer of Thor?