Taylor Swift's 30th Birthday Bash

Brie Larson vs. Priyanka Chopra

Brie Larson: 30 years old, 5’7”, 11-5 since 2017, Fates Boxing


Priyanka Chopra: 37 years old, 5’6 ½”, 12-10 since 2015, Hawkeye International Sports Consortium





Before:

The opening fight of the night sees two top bantamweights looking to further their cases for a title shot. Fates’ Brie Larson has seen herself go from a relatively obscure fighter to one of the premier bantamweights since she joined Fates in April, breaking into the top 10. Her opponent, Priyanka Chopra, has been a familiar face in the FCBA and has built up an impressive career in a short time frame. The press conference that they had was brief, but sweet, as both women complimented the other’s achievements and abilities as fighters – not to mention the fact that unlike all of the other pairings tonight, it seems like the two women don’t actually hate each other.

Come time for the fight, the crowd settles down quickly as soon as Brie Larson is announced. The actress from California is wearing a purple sports bra with white trunks and matching gloves, her hair tied up in a ponytail for the fight. Then her opponent is introduced and Chopra is wearing a blue top with matching trunks and white gloves, her hair up in a bun for the event. The two receive their final instructions, tap their gloves, and the bell rings.


Round 1:

Both women cautiously exit their respective corners and start circling each other as they look to get a read on their opponent. Chopra and Larson exchange a pair of jabs that bounce off the other’s guard as they circle. Priyanka baits in Brie with a right, but Larson sees the left coming and gets out of the way before popping a quick left of her own into Chopra’s chin. The Indian actress recovers and gets some blows of her own in, but her American counterpart smartly keeps her guard up and only counterpunches when she sees a clear opportunity. Larson backs off and the two women begin circling again. Chopra looking to keep up the pressure on Larson and darts in on the blonde, but Brie again senses Chopra’s movement and launches a right that catches Chopra in the chin again, and now it’s Chopra’s turn to back off. Neither woman commits hard in the final seconds of the round and the two go back to their corners after a fairly mellow opening round. It was a close one, but Brie takes the opening round on points, close.


Round 2:

The second rounds begins much like the first – both women taking their time in going after each other, but this time, they don’t fully circle each other. Chopra and Larson seemingly agree to divide the ring on a diagonal, and don’t cross that line, even as the two start feinting. Brie strikes out first with a right jab that bounces harmlessly off of Chopra’s guard and the actress fires back with two straights, the first bouncing off of Larson’s own guard and then the other working around the blonde’s protection and connecting with her ear, but the blonde doesn’t budge. Chopra starts to string her punches together, but she can’t break down Larson’s guard and starts trying to find Brie’s body instead, closing the distance between the two fighters and crossing that imaginary diagonal line in the ring. Priyanka stutter-steps and raps off two quick punches into Brie’s body and the blonde can only manage a single jab that glances off of Chopra’s guard and into her shoulder before the bell rings. This match has been a close affair through two as Priyanka Chorpa matches Brie Larson by taking the second round on points, close.


Round 3:

Chopra charges out of her corner and catches Larson flat-footed and throws out a lightning-quick right straight that catches the younger woman in the nose. A drop of blood trickles out of Brie’s nose and Priyanka senses blood in the water. The Indian actress fakes left, then goes right and catches Brie flush in the chin with a right jab and Larson is staggering backwards as on comes Chopra. The crowd starts warming up after a slower opening two rounds and now Priyanka connects with another right and knocks Brie into the ropes and she would have knocked Larson down with that one if the ropes didn’t hold the blonde up. Chopra is going to town and all Larson seems to be able to do is to hold on as she clinches. The referee separates the two women and there is more blood leaking from Larson’s nose, but nonetheless she is the one who goes after her opponent and while Priyanka rebuffs her offensive, Larson does enough to prevent the round from being won by Chopra by shutout.


Round 4:

The Fates staff cleans up Brie in the corner, getting the blood of her face before the fourth begins. Priyanka once again looks to gain the upper hand and comes out swinging, opening the round by connecting with two absolutely massive hooks to Larson’s chin – but somehow Brie takes them in stride, much to the surprise of Chopra, and comes back with fury. The blonde shuffles to her left, sticks Chopra in the chin, then ducks the counterpunch and goes right into an uppercut that gets all of Priyanka’s chin – and now its Chopra’s turn to take the blow in stride and surprise her opponent. Priyanka focusing on Brie’s body until the blonde slips away. Brie feints left, then fires off a right that freezes Chopra for a brief second and allows Larson to connect with a second uppercut and the bell rings with Priyanka still standing! Brie’s look of exasperation tells the story of the Fates corner as even though she wins the round wide with good punches aplenty, her foe is still standing.


Round 5:

Larson jumps out of the Fates corner – and immediately gets whacked by Chopra when the blonde overcommits to a right and exposes herself to a counter. The blonde may have been on a hot streak but her relative inexperience just showed itself and Chopra goes straight for Larson’s face again, trying to land a straights to Brie’s nose and start the bleeding again. Larson takes a right off the cheek that drives her backwards in the ring and the blonde is reeling, doing her best to counterpunch but Chopra is just moving too fast. Each time the Fates fighter looks for a counter, the window of opportunity has closed and she leaves herself exposed to her opponent. Priyanka buries a devastating counterpunch into Larson’s chin, wobbling the blonde and causing her to hold on to her opponent until she regains her footing and pushes back. Larson able to get back into it after she hangs back and lets Chopra be the one to initiate, counterpunching her opponent with the blonde scoring some clean strikes, but at the end of the round, Chopra clearly wins over the judges.


Round 6:

Brie and Priyanka start out the second half of the fight by circling each other in the dance that they start off the fight with, only this time, they’ve sized each other up and are circling much more quickly. Chopra splits Larson’s guard with a right and then goes body with the left before backing off. Brie continues to circle and takes Priyanka’s next blow off her guard without any issues and strikes Chopra back with a right of her own. Priyanka swings at Brie with a left but the blonde ducks it and goes straight into Priyanka’s body, driving the older woman backwards. Chopra trying to fight back but the blonde works efficiently and gets Chopra into the ropes, but can’t keep her there for three seconds before the veteran Chopra escapes. Priyanka gets a pair of solid rights into Larson’s body, but that’s all she gets before Brie gets back in control and chases her around the ring until the round ends.


Round 7:

The toll of the previous six rounds shows on the two actresses as they take a bit longer than usual to get out of their corners after trading the past several rounds. Larson fires off a straight a Chopra and the brunette parries the blow before coming back with a left hook that catches Larson flush in the face. Priyanka closes in on Brie AND GETS WALLOPED BY A RIGHT! The blonde wasn’t fazed by Chopra’s left and absolutely smoked the veteran with a right cross. Chopra on wobbly legs as she holds her guard up and Larson just lays into the older woman’s trunk, occasionally sending a blow into her guard, just to keep Priyanka honest. Chopra straightening back up despite the onslaught and Brie buries three quick rights into Priyanka’s tummy and the Indian actress drops to the ground! Brie quickly to a neutral corner as the ref begins to count. One. Two. Three. Chopra’s breathing heavily, looking up at the official. Four. Five. Six. Priyanka on all fours. Seven. Eight. Chopra’s looking to push herself up and reaches for the ropes – but she falls back down! The referee counts to ten and calls for the bell. It’s over by KO7 – your winner is Brie Larson!


After:

Larson smiles and waves to the crowd before checking in on Chopra. Brie kneels down and asks Priyanka if she’s alright, which she nods to before patting Larson on the back. Brie smiles and heads over to the post-fight interview.

“Well, I just wanted to come out here and do my best, to be honest.” Larson says. “Priyanka’s a great fighter, and I’d been looking forward to the fight for a while. At any rate, it’s great to kick off the card tonight, and I’m definitely looking forward to the rest of the matches tonight.”

Emily DiDonato vs. Adriana Lima


Adriana Lima: 38 years old, 5’10”, 38-26 since 2005, Odds & Ends Fight Studio.


Emily DiDonato: 28 years old. 5’10”, 15-6 since 2017, Fates Boxing.




Before:

Tonight’s lightweight match features a rematch from last month’s PPV with two models who have made waves in the industry – both the FCBA and modeling. Lima has been in the FCBA for nearly 15 years, is a three-time Queen of the Ice Hotel champion, a former lightweight champion, and the Mistress of the Body Saddle. And that’s just the FCBA – she was Victoria’s Secret’s longest serving angel. Opposing her tonight is Emily DiDonato, a full decade younger than the Brazilian, and a model for Victoria’s Secret’s nemesis, Sports Illustrated. DiDonato is yet to hold any titles in the FCBA, but has made name for herself since she joined Fates, dispatching top lightweights and only losing to the Brazilian supermodels Alessandra Ambrosio and Adriana Lima – her next opponent – at lightweight.

The press room quiets down noticeably as the two models enter the room and take their seats, taking turns staring daggers at the other before Adriana starts talking.

“Models these days are spoiled,” Lima begins, her voice dripping with disgust. “They don’t know how hard women like me worked, and that makes them soft – and that’s why I knocked her unconscious two weeks ago. And I’m going to do it again tonight, and then I’ll do the same to Taylor in two weeks and I’ll be champ once again.”

Emily shoots a dirty look at Adriana before speaking, “Adriana, you had your time in the spotlight. But it’s my time now. I’ve been busting it in the gym every day for years on end to get to where I am in my modeling career and in my fighting career. My rise in both has been to all that hard work – so don’t go calling me soft because you’re going to find out why that’s false.”

Lima laughs in response, “You think Sports Illustrated is serious modeling? Give me a break, VS IS the top of the industry, not SI. You can take your bikini body wherever you want, but it will never be as good as my body.”

DiDonato gets up and moves towards Lima, but the security gets between her and the former angel, separating them so that they have to wait for their match.


At the arena, Lima is the first to make her way to the ring, wearing a white bikini top with matching bottoms and gloves, her hair tied up in a ponytail for the match. She is followed by Emily DiDonato, who has elected to go with a purple bikini set with matching to contrast Lima's white, her hair in a bun, and the crowd clearly favors the hometown girl in DiDonato. Emily never lifts her gaze from Adriana, and when asked by the referee, Emily refuses to touch gloves with Lima. The official sighs and calls for the bell.


Round 1:

The young DiDonato charges out after Lima and lashes out with reckless abandon, swinging with massive hooks that Lima simply dodges and parries before whacking the Sports Illustrated model with a right hammer. Emily takes the blow and goes right back after Adriana, trying to use brute force to batter through the Brazilian’s guard. Lima again blocking DiDonato’s punches, analyzing the younger model’s rhythm and then pounces with a right cross across Em’s chin. Lima’s punches knocks DiDo off balance and on comes the Brazilian, rocking Emily with a punch to the lips before bouncing a left off DiDo’s guard. DiDonato giving up ground as Lima just works over her body, hammering Emily’s ribs and chest as she works her into the ropes. DiDonato puts on the quick clinch and forces the referee to break the two women apart. Emily’s breathing fairly heaving as Adriana looks as fresh as ever, and it’s clear Emily’s initial strategy – however ill-advised or driven by a desire for revenge it was – failed. Lima looks to press her advantage over her more tired opponent, but DiDonato keeps pace and starts to land some of the jabs that helped her have her breakout 2019. The bell rings and both women return to their respective corners with Emily being visibly frustrated, as Adriana Lima opens the match by winning the opening round on points, wide.


Round 2:

DiDo warily gets out of her corner, totally changing tactics after the first round and getting a talking to between rounds by Fates. Lima shows her measured confidence as she looks for an opening, jabbing out with measured punches before retreating, limiting DiDonato’s opportunities to strike the model who knocked her out cold just two weeks ago. Emily holds her guard up and starts to anticipate Adriana’s movements and beats her to the punch – literally. As Lima bobs right, DiDonato strikes her in the chin with a strong, clean punch that snaps Adriana’s head backwards. Emily practically jumps to cover the distance and pounces on a reeling Adriana, whipping her head from left to right with a clean cross. Lima pops DiDo with a quick straight as the younger woman chases her opponent, but Emily quickly regains her composure and starts teeing off on Lima’s chest and ribs, working around her guard and forcing the Brazilian to clinch. The bell rings before the referee can separate them and both women push the other away as they lock eyes before retreating to their respective corners. Emily DiDonato evens everything up by taking the round on points, wide.


Round 3:

The third round begins with the two models circling each other, each seeking an advantage over her opponent, but not taking anything too quickly. The younger DiDonato fakes left, then goes right and puts two punches into Lima’s guard, splitting it on the second blow. Lima repositions and then throws a right jab that catches DiDonato in the shoulder and knocks her off-balance. Emily instinctively moves her arms to stabilize herself, but leaves herself exposed in the process and Adriana seizes the opportunity, connecting with a hammer blow on Emily before following up with a jab to the chin. DiDonato takes the blow, but she stumbles backwards before regaining her footing. Lima warily closes the gap as soon as she notices that DiDonato quickly gets her stance back and starts launching jabs at the American, who returns the favor. Both women have the same reach, so neither one can punish the other while avoiding her opponent’s blows, and they trade evenly to the bell. A slower round, which Adriana takes on points, close, and neither woman wants to make a mistake which would cost them a crucial win for the lightweight standings, not to mention as the latest battle between the two.


Round 4:

DiDonato and Lima start the fourth by circling each other again, but this time, neither model is spending too much time jabbing rather than going after her opponent. Adriana opens up with a left that tags Emily in the ribs and the Brazilian goes straight to the younger woman’s body, driving her gloves into Emily’s chest and midriff. Lima bounces backwards and GETS WALLOPED BY A RIGHT FROM DIDONATO! Adriana is stunned and Emily takes the time to line up a vicious right cross right across Lima’s chin. Lima shocked back to reality as she pulls her guard up as she eats another vicious cross and gives up her body, and DiDo plugs leather into Lima’s stomach. DiDonato drives Lima into the ropes, but Lima bounces right back into Emily and the two women collide and get a bit of separation. Both women have their guards down and Lima takes a big swing at DiDo but misses and Emily connects with another cross and DROPS LIMA ONTO HER BACK! The New York crowd cheers for the homegrown girl as DiDo practically prances to a neutral corner as the referee starts to count. Lima’s moving her limbs around, and rolls herself over by the count of five. She gets to all fours at seven, and rises just before nine, and a look of anger works its way onto Emily’s face. The Brazilian stays away from Emily for the rest of the round, and when it’s over and the women are returning to their respective corners, Emily takes the round on points, wide.


Round 5:

DiDo sensing that her opponent is still suffering from the previous round’s punishment and the American goes right back to work, sticking the Brazilian before repositioning. Adriana may have nearly three times as many fights Emily, but DiDonato is showing why she’s been able to work her way up the rankings, using her power to connect with body shots that make Lima wince and showing off a bit of speed in her ability to reposition herself quickly. Lima breathing heavily, uncertain on her feet as she never knows where Emily’s going to be striking from next. DiDonato feints right and then goes left with a clean punch to Lima’s solar plexus and the older woman’s guard breaks apart. Emily shoots the gap with two fast rights, driving Lima backwards as the Brazilian wraps her arms around the Sports Illustrated model and holds on to her until the two women are separated. Lima actually is the one who is jumping at the bit to go after her opponent and gets two good licks in, with one to Em’s head and the other to her chest. But just as it seems like Lima’s getting going, Emily comes back with a hard shot to the ribs that coincides with the bell and caps off another round that she clearly won. Emily may not have knocked out Adriana yet, but if the rest of the fight looks like the past two rounds, you can count on DiDonato getting her revenge for her most recent PPV loss.


Round 6:

Emily moving forward confidently, quickly closing the distance between herself and her opponent. Adriana is moving slowly and staying out of Emily’s range, forcing the American to have to come in close to get any sort of offense going. DiDonato slides in and feints at Lima’s head to get the Brazilian’s attention, then goes back to the Victoria’s Secret Angel’s body. DiDo drives lefts and rights into the Brazilian’s ribs and Lima winces from the blows and her guard splits for a second. Emily sees her opponent’s weakening guard and starts wailing away on it, trying to break it down. A few blows slip by but Lima grimaces through it. DiDonato drops back to get more extension in her punches – AND LIMA THROWS AN UPPERCUT OUT OF NOWHERE AND EMILY IS WOBBLY! She may be on the older side of the division but Adriana still has some strength left in her as she connects with a left cross as a follow-up and DOWN GOES EMILY TO HER SIDE! Now it’s Lima’s turn to prance to the corner as Emily has to beat the count or face getting knocked out by the same opponent in the span of 15 days. The ref is at five and DiDo’s grimacing as she pushes herself onto her knees. Em gets her arms underneath her and forces herself up at the count of eight, a look of exasperation on her face as she tells the ref she’s good to go. The match resumes and it’s almost all Lima now, working over the American’s body without too much response from DiDonato other than her guard. The bell rings and Lima, much to the chagrin of the crowd, wins on points, wide, and would have had a shutout if Emily didn’t have a solid start to the round.


Round 7:

The two women seemingly intentionally take the opposite position from the previous round – Lima emerging confidently from the O & E corner after scoring a knockdown the previous round and DiDonato with a look of hopelessness on her face, as though she were seeing a repeat of her most recent loss happening all over again. Adriana taking her time, chasing her dejected opponent around the ring, the Brazilian launching punches at the American as she pleases. But despite her facial expression, Emily puts up a fight, keeping her guard up and counterattacking Adriana when the Brazilian makes the uncharacteristic mistake of leaving herself exposed on her punches. Adriana slowly finding a rhythm though, two punches at her opponent, back off, do her best to block Em’s response, then goes back after the American. Emily’s breathing heavily and you can hear the breath get punches out of her lungs when Lima strikes, but Emily holds herself together enough to get a great straight on Lima to preempt more punishment, but the round ends before Emily can take advantage of it. Adriana once again takes the round on points, and the New York crowd holds its breath as it looks like the hometown girl in Emily DiDonato may have just met her kryptonite in Adriana Lima, rather than simply just a good fighter.


Round 8:

Between rounds, Fates is animated in his corner, gesticulating with his arms, and it’s pretty clear that his message to Emily is that she either picks it up or comes crashing down. Emily nods her head in acknowledgment as Lima is well off her stool before the warning buzzer and bouncing around on her feet. DiDo gets up and on we go to the eighth round. Adriana charges at Emily and launches a punch that barely skims off Emily’s right ear as the SI model dodges left and then whacks Adriana right in the chin and Lima’s thrown off balance as she flails her arms to try and regain her balance. DiDonato follows up by burying a right into Lima’s body and forces the air out of Lima’s lungs. Adriana’s face contorts into agony as Emily slams a left into her jaw and sends the Brazilian into the ropes where the American hammers away on her opponent. Lima’s trying to fight back but DiDo just punishes her with headshots whenever Lima goes on the offensive, and Adriana is forced to clinch. Once the two women are separated again, Emily goes right after Adriana, throwing a left that Lima easily parries – AND THEN ROCKS THE BRAZILIAN WITH A RIGHT HOOK THAT SWINGS LIMA’S HEAD! Adriana was caught by surprise and she’s wobbly and on comes Emily! The brunette connects with a left hook that swings Lima’s head back before swinging for the fences with a vicious uppercut that connects with Lima’s chin and knocks Lima onto her back to the joy of the roaring crowd! Emily stands over her fallen opponent and the ref has to tell her to go to the corner twice before she does so and he starts the count. Adriana’s moving her arms around, twisting and turning to get herself rolled over, but she’s struggling as the ref counts five. By seven she’s on her belly and raising her head, but can she make it in time? The referee counts, eight, then nine, and Lima seemingly summons the last of her will to push herself up – but she falls flat on her face before she can get onto her feet and the referee counts ten! It’s over folks, your winner by KO8, Emily DiDonato!


After:

The crowd once again erupts for the New York model who instantly gets up on the ringposts, posing while shouting at the top of her lungs, “I f***ing told you so,” as she avenges her defeat from two weeks prior. A woozy Lima is brought back to reality and quietly ushered out of the ring, as while she may have lost this bout, the more important one is two weeks from today when she faces Emily’s stablemate and the champion in Taylor Swift for the title. And speaking of Taylor Swift, she is about ready to throw down with Kate Upton in a battle for blonde supremacy, but first, a top-tier welterweight matchup.

Kate Upton vs. Taylor Swift


Kate Upton: 27 years old, 5’10”, 64-20 with 62 KO since 2011, Lookout! Boxing


Taylor Swift: 30 years old, 5’11”, 38-16 with 35 KO since 2009, Fates Boxing



Before:

The trash-talk has been going on for months, and now Kate Upton and Taylor Swift come face to face for the first time at the press conference, both laying claim to the same thing: dominant blonde of the FCBA. Upton is one of the world’s most powerful models while Swift is one of the world’s most powerful singers. Upton claims to have the world’s best jugs, Swift the world’s best legs. And both of them claim to alpha status.

At the press conference, Upton speaks first, and she doesn’t leave any doubt as to her feelings about Swift. “Flabby legs, no tits until she got plastic, and only famous because of Kanye West. She’s got nothing on me, and when I’m done with her, she’ll know that her legs can never compete with my breasts. At 30, she’s just a washed up woman who can’t compete any more, and only is a champion because she’s chosen to avoid certain fighters.”

Swift tersely responds, “Kate – I respect you as a model. As for everything else about you, absolutely not. You’ve been walking around like you’re the only woman who matters, like you’re the only blonde in the world. I’ve seen you beating up DiDonato and Barros – it’s time someone from Fates taught you the lesson that it’s not all about your rack.”

Kate smirks, merely says “Sure,” into the microphone, and lunges at Taylor, slapping the singer’s chest in the process. Security quickly gets involved separating the two women and escorting the out, much to the dismay of the press corps, even though the two women will have their chance at each other in the ring.


Come time for the fight, and the arena is booming as the crowd cheers, predominantly for Taylor Swift, given that she lives in New York and it is her birthday bash, after all, but a healthy number of supporters for Kate Upton as well.

The announcer hops on the microphone to introduce the women for the fight. “Introducing first, from St. Joseph, Michigan. She is a three time welterweight champion, a three time JMDD champion, and the reigning BBU and FCBA JMDD champion, the Queen of the FCBA, it’s Kate “the Great” Upton!"

Kate Upton steps out of the back and makes her way to the ring to the raucous crowd, removing her black robe to reveal a white sports bra with black gloves and black bottoms, showing off her incredible model physique. The announcer has trouble getting the crowd to quiet down, but eventually is successful and starts introducing Upton’s opponent.

“And her opponent, from Reading, Pennsylvania. She is the current lightweight champion and Queen of the Ice Hotel. She is the artist of the decade.” The crowd starts to cheer. “She is the most successful artist of all time. TAYLOR SWIFT!!!!"

The crowd goes wild as Taylor steps out from the back in a white robe as “…Ready For It” blares in the background. The singer makes her way down to the ring, steps between the ropes, and drops her robe to reveal a gold sports bra and gloves and short-shorts, the latter allowing the now 30 year-old blonde to show off basically all of her long legs.

The two big blonde girls get right up in each other’s faces and the referee struggles to get the two to back off. He hurries up giving his final instructions, asks the two women to touch gloves – to which both of them shoot daggers back at him and he acknowledges his error – and gets the two to back off just long enough for him to call for the bell. It rings, but given the noise in the arena, you may not have heard it, and we are underway in the final fight of the night in a battle for blonde supremacy.


Round 1:

Taylor Swift and Kate Upton dash out of their respective corners and waste no time in showing off their power. Upton lands the first major blow, a booming right to Swift’s left cheek, and drives a straight left at the singer’s head but Swift dodges it and hammers a quick one-two into Upton’s mouth early. Kate snarls and charges at Taylor and the two women come together in the middle of the ring, both blondes working to get their arms free to work over the body of their opponent. Taylor works her right arm free first and buries two quick rights into Kate’s body, hitting Upton’s ribs with the first and the model’s left breast on the second before bringing her arm up enough to get a blow that connects with Kate’s chin. Upton drops backwards and looks to counter Swift, but Taylor foils Kate’s plan with some well-placed jabs that force Kate backwards into the ropes and Taylor starts thumping Kate’s body. Upton fights back and clears an opening to escape the ropes and the two women reset. Taylor and Kate now turn the pace down as they try to get a feel for their opponent, but the bell rings and they’ll have to wait until the next round. Both blonde beauties go back to their respective corners, and the crowd cheers as Taylor Swift takes the opening frame on points, wide.


Round 2:

The two tall blondes circle to start the second, trying to get a better feel for their opponent. Swift tags Upton with a left to start the round, but Kate doesn’t let Taylor’s blow go unanswered, coming back at the singer with two quick straights that create separation between the two women. Upton follows Swift around the ring and fires off quick punches on the singer, landing a solid punch right to Taylor’s lips. Taylor gets her guard up as Upton closes the distance between the two and starts laying into Swift’s body, firing off fast, powerful punches into Taylor’s ribs and stomach. Swift taking the punishment and starts finding opportunities to hit Upton back, taking advantage of Upton’s aggression by finding holes in her defense and connecting with the model’s moneymaker. Taylor uncorks a left into Kate’s chest before following up with a right that connects with Kate’s shoulder, and Upton responds in kind. The two women are throwing haymakers at the other until the bell AND EVEN A BIT AFTER IT! The referee struggles to separate the two women, both of whom are screaming insults at the other.

“You plastic tit barbie b*tch with flabby legs!” Upton screams at Swift.
“Your tits are overrated!” Swift yells back.

As the ring situation subsides, the judges have thrown their arms up in the air, deciding that the round was a toss-up between the two women.


Round 3:

Upton quickly positions herself within striking distance of Swift and closer than the singer prefers. Taylor’s arms are jammed in close and she struggles to find enough room to get a good extension in her blows from her guard while Kate starts working the tempo, launching punches whose targets are all over Taylor. The blows that would be destined for Taylor’s head go into her guard while others find their marks on Taylor’s body. Upton’s fast, strong punches to Swift’s body drive the newly-minted 30 year old blonde into the ropes and Upton throws in a cross that crashes into Swift’s face and the singer stumbles forwards, throwing her arms around Upton and wrapping her up. Kate struggles to get free but Taylor hangs on just long enough for the referee to separate the two women and Swift keeps her distance for the rest of the round, using her extra reach to mostly fend off Upton with her jab. That being said, Kate still finds a couple solid blows to Taylor’s chest, and it’s no surprise that the model evens everything up by taking the third on points, wide.


Round 4:

Neither woman shows any signs of slowing down as they quickly get to the center of the ring and start throwing punches at each other. Upton gains the advantage early, again getting in close to Swift to jam the lankier blonde’s arms. Upton getting into a rhythm, starting to really show her power in her quick punches, hitting Swift’s ribs and stomach. Kate’s not able to break through Taylor’s guard though and Taylor starts to get her short game working, picking a spot on Kate’s face and getting enough extension on her arms to make her punches hurt. Upton recoils slightly and puts her guard up, leaving Swift her body and Taylor starts working every ounce of legal flesh that she can find, pounding leather into Kate’s body and working her ribs over. The model plants her feet and whacks the singer in the mouth with a left, but sees the singer come back with a left of her own that hits Kate’s right cheek and the bell rings. The referee quickly jumps between the two blonde girls to prevent after-round shenanigans, and the two go back to their corners with the fourth round going down in the books as a tie.


Round 5:

BAM! Taylor jumps out of her corner and wastes no time in socking Kate with a big right, but Upton comes back with a left and the two girls start trading blows in the middle of the ring. Kate slams a right off of Swift’s guard and Taylor threads the needle of Upton’s guard to find her chin. Upton knocked off balance and Swift drives her gloves into Upton’s body as the model stumbles backwards. Kate plants her feet and throws out a big right – but she’s lunging and she missed! Taylor seems to pause for an eternity as she lines up a brutal shot that connects with Kate’s jaw and sends the model to the ground with an audible moan. Swift quickly retreats to a corner as the crowd roars and the ref starts to count – but the three time welterweight champ doesn’t seem like she’s done. By five, Kate is on all fours, shaking her head, and she pushes herself all the way up at seven and stares daggers straight at Taylor. Swift smirks and the two women engage in a few brief exchanges of blows before the round ends. Swift picks up the round on points, wide, courtesy of the fight’s first knockdown.


Round 6:

Swift again quickly gets out of her corner and uses her long legs to quickly close the distance between herself and Upton and lashes out with a right but nobody’s home! Kate sidesteps the punch and swings a left that swivels Taylor’s head and the singer is in trouble with her head exposed. Upton follows up with a right that wobbles her opponent and Swift throws up a desperation guard. Kate mercilessly pounds two rights straight into Taylor’s exposed solar plexus and the singer’s guard splits apart in time for a clean left straight from Upton that knocks Swift down on her belly early in the round! Kate smirks as she heads to the corner and the referee starts to count over Taylor. A look of rage flashes across Taylor’s face as she looks up at Kate and the model pounds her breasts, sending a message. The ref is at six, and Swift is on all fours. By seven, she’s bracing on one knee, and the artist of the decade is up at eight. She tells the ref she’s good to go and the fight resumes. Now it’s Kate who is using her legs to get across the ring quickly and keep up the pressure. Taylor backs off and Kate chases her around the ring and Swift has to use her jab intelligently to keep Upton away, and she makes sure to tag Kate’s moneymaking face in the process. Upton does get two solid punches in – the first a blow that split the singer’s guard and the second a shot to Taylor’s chest – before the bell rings. Upton almost won that round on shutout, but Swift’s jabs at the end meant that Upton only took the round wide.


Round 7:

The fight is entering its later stages as we start the seventh round, with both blondes having scored knockdowns, but neither woman is showing any signs of slowing down. Taylor tries to circle to her right but Kate doesn’t want to play and closes distance before targeting Taylor’s tender tummy and pumping fast, short blows into her trunk. Swift having some difficulty dealing with an opponent who packs Upton’s power from that short a range, but the singer creates some space to operate in and gets Upton with a straight. Kate pops a quick right into Swift’s chin before dropping back, not wanting to get into a head-hunting contest with her 30 year old opponent. Swift working her jab again, using her long arms to get at Upton’s head, but it’s easy to forget that Upton stands at a tall 5’10 with plenty of reach of her own, and while Taylor starts to get her jab working again, it’s only intermittent as Kate works her own jab as the bell rings. Neither woman is able to get any sort of measurable advantage and the two dominant blondes tie for a third time.


Round 8:

Both women show the beginnings of fatigue as they both are moving slightly slower as they get out of their respective corners. Taylor and Kate circle each other, the two blondes jabbing at each other. Swift stuttersteps and slips a right by Upton’s guard, knocking the model backwards and the singer follows up with a left that bangs off of Kate’s guard. Upton holds her ground and comes back with a right that get Swift in her left shoulder and now Taylor is the one who is off balance. Swift staggering backwards and her arms flare out to get her some stability and BANG! Kate clocks Taylor with a straight, snapping the singer’s head backwards. Swift somehow still on her feet and Upton goes to candyland on the singer’s body, pummeling Swift’s body and chest. Taylor’s attempts to fight back seem hopeless as she can barely register a hit before Kate buries leather into Taylor’s solar plexus and Taylor’s guard breaks for just a second, but it’s all Upton needs to land a right hook AND SENDS Swift CRASHING TO THE CANVAS! The crowd goes silent until Upton’s supporters start cheering, “KATE! KATE! KATE!” Meanwhile, Upton’s still standing over Swift and has to be told by the ref to go to the corner a second time, which she eventually does with her arms raised as the ref starts to count over Swift. One. Two. Three. Taylor’s lifts her head off the canvas – much to the delight of her fans in attendance and they start cheering “TAYLOR! TAYLOR! TAYLOR!” seemingly challenging Upton’s supporters to match them. Four. Five. Swift shaking her head as the crowd continues to roar. Six. Seven. Taylor makes it to all fours as Kate stares on. Eight. Swift looks up at the official. Nine. Swift forces herself up onto wobbly feet a half-second before the ref gets to ten and the crowd roars its approval! Upton has a stunned expression on her face while Lookout is yelling at his fighter to finish off her opponent. Upton charges at Swift and Taylor quickly clinches and the bell follows soon after.

The referee has trouble getting Upton away from Swift, and the model yells, “Next round, you and your pathetic body and flabby legs are going to be out cold!” Taylor doesn’t respond to her blonde opponent.


Round 9:

Upton gets out of her corner and she is laser focused, her eyes never wavering from the older woman, and her goal is clear. Knock. Taylor. Out. Cold. Swift’s expression tells an entirely different motivation. Fight the pain and survive. Unsurprisingly, Kate goes straight after Taylor, firing off lefts and rights to Swift’s body. Taylor’s not even trying to hide her grimaces at this point and lashes out with a right that clips Kate’s nose. Kate barely pauses before pounding another two rights into Taylor’s chest before Swift lets another right fly that catches Kate in her left cheek this time and now Upton latches on to Swift – but both women are still trying to get their arms free to punish the other’s body. Taylor works her left free and plugs three fast blows into Kate’s body that drive the air out of Upton’s lungs and Kate bear hugs Swift until they are separated. Both women breathing heavily as they enter the final seconds of the ninth round. The energy has seemed to find its way from Upton to Swift though as Taylor closes the distance between herself and Kate, sidesteps a jab from Upton, and then drives a right into Upton’s jaw and Kate’s sent backwards, butt in the rope – but she’s mercifully saved by the bell! Swift stares down Upton before returning to her corner, and while she didn’t win the beginning of the round, the won the back half enough to take it, close.


Round 10:

It’s the last round of the night, and Swift’s and Upton’s expressions show the punishment they’ve dealt each other. Still, the two dominant blondes get off their stools for one final round – for Kate, she’s looking to play spoiler to Swift’s 30th birthday party and prove to Fates that nobody in the stable can beat her after dispatching Ana Beatriz Barros and Emily DiDonato earlier this year. For Taylor, the singer is looking to prove just because she may have just turned 30, that doesn’t mean she can’t knock other younger girls out, even someone like Kate Upton. The crowd cheers as the two women get off their stools and square off for one last time – and Taylor goes left after Kate with a big right to start off the round. Upton parries the blow and comes back with a left of her own, but she only connects with air as Taylor sidesteps and Kate’s in trouble – Swift positioned herself perfectly and places an uppercut into Upton’s chin that wobbles the model! Kate trying to keep her balance as Taylor uncorks a haymaker left that leaves Taylor Swift free to bury a right into Kate Upton’s chin and Upton’s gumshield goes flying as the model crumples to the ground! The crowd is deafening as Swift turns her back on Upton, a fierce look on her face as the ref takes one look at Kate and determines the model is out cold! Your winner by KO10, the current FCBA lightweight champion, the current Queen of the Ice Hotel, the Artist of the Decade, and the birthday girl – TAYLOR SWIFT!


After:

The announcer’s voice gets lost in the cheers of the crowd as Taylor shows off her legs as she mounts the ringpost, her golden outfit reflecting the lights of the arena, and the newly minted 30 year-old singer raises her arms in triumph as she lets her golden hair down. Meanwhile, the Lookout staff is tending to Kate Upton, where it seems like the only signs of life are from the heave of Upton’s chest. Swift switches ringposts to pose for more fans before she gets a mic and the crowd quiets down, the rest of the Fates stable making its way into the ring behind Swift, unbeknownst to Taylor in all the chaos.

“Thank you so much, New York!” Swift says and the crowd cheers again, “Well, tonight was something – and I hope you all enjoyed it. It was a wild ride, and it was all possible thanks to all of you, and I hope to see you all again soon.” The New York crowd roars its approval as Swift gets down from the ringpost to see her stable behind her. She embraces her stablemates as Emily DiDonato grabs the microphone and starts talking.

“Now I know that Taylor just spoke, so I’ll keep this brief. Congrats to the alpha blonde of the FCBA in Taylor for an amazing fight and finally knocking out Upton, who’s twice punked our stable, and in the process, showed everyone whose legs are better than Upton's jugs." The crowd laughs and Emily continues, "But in case any of you forgot, it’s someone’s birthday tonight – and it marks a whole new decade.” With that, Swift’s stablemates, along with the crowd in Madison Square Garden, belt an out-of-tune, but sweet rendition of “Happy Birthday” for the birthday girl, who holds her hands over her heart. Once They’ve finished, DiDonato and Behati Prinsloo pick up Swift and put her on their shoulders, carrying Taylor to the exit as she waves to the crowd in a night that she won’t forget any time soon.

I want to say a big thank you to Fates for a truly amazing card, great fights from top to bottom that were all exciting.

We also want to say happy birthday from our stable to Taylor, though one person of course isn't extending that courtesy.

Thanks! We appreciate it, and Taylor appreciates those who extended the birthday wishes.

As for the one who didn't, we are certain that they will find themselves in the ring once again, since it seems that the feud is anything but settled.