Post by Lookout! Boxing on Sept 29, 2019 2:16:40 GMT -6
Jenny McCarthy versus Sasha Pieterse
Prefight presser – Jenny all brash bluster - Sasha struggling to get a word in. “Had a little rough spot. Still shaking off some ring rust but good to go now. (responding to a question about the proposed ‘cougar’ division) Sounds like a great idea … but NOT for me. Look, Jenny McCarthy is not the best bantam in the world over forty – she’s the best bantam in the world PERIOD. Gonna tune up a little with this kid – no hard feelings Sasha. Hell, I like the kid … called me ‘legendary’ … so I’ll probably go easy on her.”
When Sasha FINALLY gets the mic, she’s dutifully respectful (or is she subtly insulting Mac – never a Mensa car holder), “When I called Jenny McCarthy legendary, I meant it - she’s a real legend of the FCBA and I can’t wait to get in the ring with her. I mean this is a woman who was fighting top of the card at the Playboy Mansion before I was born. Of course I was too young to watch, but go all the way back to 1999, those wars with J-Lo? A full welterweight? Forget the Hall of Fame – this woman should be in a museum!”
Some chuckles from the press. Press conference ends with Jenny’s brow furrowed – was this chick praising her … or mocking her? Museum as an honor … or as a relic? Post presser, video surfaces of Sasha reacting to war of words between Jenny and GBS; Sasha adding her two cents … “Well, Jenny, I can see why a lot of locker rooms in the FCBA will be cheering when I put you down, drooling on the canvas. Don’t worry, GBS. I'll leave enough for your ladies to mop up next month”
Fight Night – Sasha to ring to the strains of her own raucous country hit “This Country is Bad Ass”, accompanied by trainer Nia Peeples. PLP owner applauding ringside as robe comes off revealing black bikini with “BAD” “ASS” in white on the cups, black boots with white tassels, and black gloves. Big hand form the PLP fans. Then comes slap jazz bass … and Bobby Darrin croons “Oh the shark, babe …” and here comes Jenny McCarthy! Signature red bikini, gloves and boots, accompanied by veteran Sceej trainer Scrubby McGee and his assistants, Jack Daniels and Jim Beam!
Round 1 – women out of the respective corners, Sasha with dukes high, Jenny with left dangling to hip and right close to cheek. Sasha a little tentative, short with the jab. J-Mac taunting, “C’mon … I won’t hurt you … much!” Pricking the younger woman’s pride, she has Sasha coming more recklessly and being pot-shotted with jab to sternum and belly from that low slung left. Sasha presses the action, engages and exchanges … crowd roars at early two way action! Left right left to head by younger woman, J-Mac rolls with shots and slings hard right back to Sasha temple. Bell sounds … fighter keep trading leather … referee between … Jenny Mac with a cockeyed grin at Sasha and the two bat mitts in acknowledgement. Crowd loving it. Looks like close round with Jenny doing enough to steal it with veteran wiles.
Round 2 – PLP corner calling for one thing – pressure! “This b*tch is older than your mother, Sash!” barks Peebles, “Don’t let her fight at a pace she likes! Make her fight at a pace she DON”T like!” Younger blonde purposely out of her corner, chin tucked between her gloves and in half crouch, and she is all over Jenny. Jenny using the whole repertoire of veteran moves, the shoulder fade, quick heel pivots, suckering the Bad Ass in for the sneaky right hand lead but younger woman unshaken. Stays on Mac, and every time she closes, she slugs to the body. Left to the ribs, right to the gut, no one great shot but accumulation has older woman’s ribs and belly pinking up. Round to Sasha.
Round 3 – In the Sceej corner, Scrubby McGee calling for movement from J-Mac; Peebles of PLP ordering Sasha, “The body – stay to the body - she don’t like it to the body!”. Jenny out of corner, on toes, pumping jab to keep younger blonde at distance, and circling to her left. Sasha with dukes under her chin, moving to her right to cut off ring. Younger legs are usually quicker legs. Right hand to Jenny’s head blocked but gives Sasha chance to clinch. Wrestling inside and youth is served as the women grind, working hands free, scoring short shots to breadbasket, rack, occasionally clipping chins – both scoring but country Bad Ass outworking Mac volume wise and takes the round. In the PLP corner, Peebles encouraging her fighter, “Pressure, pressure, pressure! The b*tch can’t fight a whole round – she’s looking to fight in spots! You stay on her – she’s wilting!” Sceej corner has the opposite script, asking Jenny mac for movement.
Round 4 – Jenny out of corner on toes – when she’s fresh, she’s fast – challenge is keeping pace on forty six year old legs. Circling, smirk on lips, beckoning younger blonde to follow and Sasha is drawn in (McCarthy has been known to get under an opponent’s skin and into her head!). Sasha pursuing instead of cutting off ring and tasting that McCarthy jab - pap … pap pap … pap … Mac occasionally digging back foot into canvas to follow jab with straight right, showcasing those underrated (and usually underutilized) boxing skills – those straight rights are ringing Sasha’s bell – then nifty heel turns to skip out of danger before younger woman can respond. Late in round, Sasha able to press Mac to ropes and force back and forth exchange but Jenny giving as good as she gets. Round to McCarthy.
Round 5 – J-Mac once again on her toes, circling deftly an holding younger blonde at bay with that educated stick! Sasha with chin behind mitts and in a half crouch, so the jab is not doing damage this round, bouncing off gloves or skittering over scalp as the singer bobs and weaves. Midway through round, the country Bad Ass bolts right to head off Jenny’s circling left – Playmate looks to reverse course and takes a left hook to the temple that rattles her. Sasha pushes on older woman’s shoulders to bounce her off ring cables (drawing a call of ‘foul!” from Sceej corner) and digs the left hook to the liver , drawing a grunt from Mac, then torques hips into a left uppercut that clips the McCarthy chin … and Jenny is on her ass! Abrupt knockdown brings crowd to its feet, Sasha Pietrese practically skipping to neutral corner, all ingénue effervescence! Jenny blinking repeatedly, slightly dazed look as ref picks up count at 5 … 6 … 7 Jenny on one knee … 8 … 9 … and J-Mac to her feet … corner screaming for “movement” but legs are not there. Playmate settles her back against cables and turtles up … and here comes Sassy Sasha! Left right to the ribs … left hook bashing against Mac’s right shoulder … mauling inside trying to physically pull apart the guard … right hand above the ear and the older woman’s knees shimmy. Global Boxing Syndicate, in recent war of words with Mac the Knife, out in force ringside and loving this. Jennifer Anniston (who dropped two particularly brutal KO losses to J-Mac in ’08) on her feet – “Kick her ass, Sasha!!!”. Big 10-8 round for the newbie but she can’t find the ‘off’ switch as the veteran weathers the storm. Jenny getting the ice of the neck and incoherent instruction from the now- very drunk Scrubby McGee!
Round 6 – Like any good singer, Sasha now looking to close the show! Out of the corner with a smack on the ass from Peebles and two words of instruction – “Finish her!” – and she is right at Mac the Knife! Jenny not looking to dance now - legs not fully there - she’s in that wide stance with right hand cocked – if this chick is gonna storm Castle McCarthy, she’s gonna pay the toll! And Sassy Sashsa does come right at her, feints left jab and looks to crack Mac with right hand, Jenny arching back to bend away from the power and then slings back with her own right, which bounces off the Bad Ass’s forehead. Sasha respond with left hook that clips Jenny’s jaw. Two way action as women trade furiously but inexorably, Jenny Mac forced back by heavier weight of shot. Sasha pressing the pace, trying to burn the older blonde’s reserves, and set her up for sleepy time! Left by Sasha clips Playmate chin and she half stumbles back, wide eyed – country Bad Ass in for the kill … and walks into a straight right hand … right … on .. the … chin … blond girl down!!! Broadcast team apoplectic “… she wasn’t hurt – McCarthy was playing possum!” Sasha Pieterse flat on back … raising head … eyes all “wha’ happn’d …” … tries to push up on elbow but nervous system not responding as the ref counts “… 8 … 9 … 10 … yer out!”
Winner by knockout in the 6th round … Jenny “Mac the Knife” McCarthy.
Post fight: Jenny to mid ring, cues sound and system begins to echo Sasha’s hit single “This Country Is Bad Ass” as Jenny’s fans boo resoundingly. Calling for a mic, J-Mac barks “Stop the music!” and sound system cuts the tune. “Now …” she grins, “I WAS gonna let this girl off east, what with her calling me ‘legendary ‘ and all, but she just HAD to shoot her mouth off!”
Tape rolls on arena screens of Sasha’s snark “Well, Jenny, I can see why a lot of locker rooms in the FCBA will be cheering when I put you down, drooling on the canvas. Don’t worry, GBS. I'll leave enough for your ladies to mop up next month”
Jenny shakes her head, grinning, “You just haaaaaaaad to go there, huh girl? Making nice with the little bimbos at GBS? Well, girlfriend … now we need to talk! On second thought …. We need to WALK!”
As McCarthy faithful erupt in cheers, Jenny Mac to the PLP corner to gather up half conscious Sasha Pieterse. Lifting younger woman, she puts an arm around waist and signals for music – and here is that familiar base slap, followed by Bobby Darin crooning “Oh the shark babe … has such teeth, dear …. And he keeps them – pearly white!” What follows is a scalding Walk of Shame, Jenny pausing to exchange pleasantries with GBS ringsiders!
Prefight presser – Jenny all brash bluster - Sasha struggling to get a word in. “Had a little rough spot. Still shaking off some ring rust but good to go now. (responding to a question about the proposed ‘cougar’ division) Sounds like a great idea … but NOT for me. Look, Jenny McCarthy is not the best bantam in the world over forty – she’s the best bantam in the world PERIOD. Gonna tune up a little with this kid – no hard feelings Sasha. Hell, I like the kid … called me ‘legendary’ … so I’ll probably go easy on her.”
When Sasha FINALLY gets the mic, she’s dutifully respectful (or is she subtly insulting Mac – never a Mensa car holder), “When I called Jenny McCarthy legendary, I meant it - she’s a real legend of the FCBA and I can’t wait to get in the ring with her. I mean this is a woman who was fighting top of the card at the Playboy Mansion before I was born. Of course I was too young to watch, but go all the way back to 1999, those wars with J-Lo? A full welterweight? Forget the Hall of Fame – this woman should be in a museum!”
Some chuckles from the press. Press conference ends with Jenny’s brow furrowed – was this chick praising her … or mocking her? Museum as an honor … or as a relic? Post presser, video surfaces of Sasha reacting to war of words between Jenny and GBS; Sasha adding her two cents … “Well, Jenny, I can see why a lot of locker rooms in the FCBA will be cheering when I put you down, drooling on the canvas. Don’t worry, GBS. I'll leave enough for your ladies to mop up next month”
Fight Night – Sasha to ring to the strains of her own raucous country hit “This Country is Bad Ass”, accompanied by trainer Nia Peeples. PLP owner applauding ringside as robe comes off revealing black bikini with “BAD” “ASS” in white on the cups, black boots with white tassels, and black gloves. Big hand form the PLP fans. Then comes slap jazz bass … and Bobby Darrin croons “Oh the shark, babe …” and here comes Jenny McCarthy! Signature red bikini, gloves and boots, accompanied by veteran Sceej trainer Scrubby McGee and his assistants, Jack Daniels and Jim Beam!
Round 1 – women out of the respective corners, Sasha with dukes high, Jenny with left dangling to hip and right close to cheek. Sasha a little tentative, short with the jab. J-Mac taunting, “C’mon … I won’t hurt you … much!” Pricking the younger woman’s pride, she has Sasha coming more recklessly and being pot-shotted with jab to sternum and belly from that low slung left. Sasha presses the action, engages and exchanges … crowd roars at early two way action! Left right left to head by younger woman, J-Mac rolls with shots and slings hard right back to Sasha temple. Bell sounds … fighter keep trading leather … referee between … Jenny Mac with a cockeyed grin at Sasha and the two bat mitts in acknowledgement. Crowd loving it. Looks like close round with Jenny doing enough to steal it with veteran wiles.
Round 2 – PLP corner calling for one thing – pressure! “This b*tch is older than your mother, Sash!” barks Peebles, “Don’t let her fight at a pace she likes! Make her fight at a pace she DON”T like!” Younger blonde purposely out of her corner, chin tucked between her gloves and in half crouch, and she is all over Jenny. Jenny using the whole repertoire of veteran moves, the shoulder fade, quick heel pivots, suckering the Bad Ass in for the sneaky right hand lead but younger woman unshaken. Stays on Mac, and every time she closes, she slugs to the body. Left to the ribs, right to the gut, no one great shot but accumulation has older woman’s ribs and belly pinking up. Round to Sasha.
Round 3 – In the Sceej corner, Scrubby McGee calling for movement from J-Mac; Peebles of PLP ordering Sasha, “The body – stay to the body - she don’t like it to the body!”. Jenny out of corner, on toes, pumping jab to keep younger blonde at distance, and circling to her left. Sasha with dukes under her chin, moving to her right to cut off ring. Younger legs are usually quicker legs. Right hand to Jenny’s head blocked but gives Sasha chance to clinch. Wrestling inside and youth is served as the women grind, working hands free, scoring short shots to breadbasket, rack, occasionally clipping chins – both scoring but country Bad Ass outworking Mac volume wise and takes the round. In the PLP corner, Peebles encouraging her fighter, “Pressure, pressure, pressure! The b*tch can’t fight a whole round – she’s looking to fight in spots! You stay on her – she’s wilting!” Sceej corner has the opposite script, asking Jenny mac for movement.
Round 4 – Jenny out of corner on toes – when she’s fresh, she’s fast – challenge is keeping pace on forty six year old legs. Circling, smirk on lips, beckoning younger blonde to follow and Sasha is drawn in (McCarthy has been known to get under an opponent’s skin and into her head!). Sasha pursuing instead of cutting off ring and tasting that McCarthy jab - pap … pap pap … pap … Mac occasionally digging back foot into canvas to follow jab with straight right, showcasing those underrated (and usually underutilized) boxing skills – those straight rights are ringing Sasha’s bell – then nifty heel turns to skip out of danger before younger woman can respond. Late in round, Sasha able to press Mac to ropes and force back and forth exchange but Jenny giving as good as she gets. Round to McCarthy.
Round 5 – J-Mac once again on her toes, circling deftly an holding younger blonde at bay with that educated stick! Sasha with chin behind mitts and in a half crouch, so the jab is not doing damage this round, bouncing off gloves or skittering over scalp as the singer bobs and weaves. Midway through round, the country Bad Ass bolts right to head off Jenny’s circling left – Playmate looks to reverse course and takes a left hook to the temple that rattles her. Sasha pushes on older woman’s shoulders to bounce her off ring cables (drawing a call of ‘foul!” from Sceej corner) and digs the left hook to the liver , drawing a grunt from Mac, then torques hips into a left uppercut that clips the McCarthy chin … and Jenny is on her ass! Abrupt knockdown brings crowd to its feet, Sasha Pietrese practically skipping to neutral corner, all ingénue effervescence! Jenny blinking repeatedly, slightly dazed look as ref picks up count at 5 … 6 … 7 Jenny on one knee … 8 … 9 … and J-Mac to her feet … corner screaming for “movement” but legs are not there. Playmate settles her back against cables and turtles up … and here comes Sassy Sasha! Left right to the ribs … left hook bashing against Mac’s right shoulder … mauling inside trying to physically pull apart the guard … right hand above the ear and the older woman’s knees shimmy. Global Boxing Syndicate, in recent war of words with Mac the Knife, out in force ringside and loving this. Jennifer Anniston (who dropped two particularly brutal KO losses to J-Mac in ’08) on her feet – “Kick her ass, Sasha!!!”. Big 10-8 round for the newbie but she can’t find the ‘off’ switch as the veteran weathers the storm. Jenny getting the ice of the neck and incoherent instruction from the now- very drunk Scrubby McGee!
Round 6 – Like any good singer, Sasha now looking to close the show! Out of the corner with a smack on the ass from Peebles and two words of instruction – “Finish her!” – and she is right at Mac the Knife! Jenny not looking to dance now - legs not fully there - she’s in that wide stance with right hand cocked – if this chick is gonna storm Castle McCarthy, she’s gonna pay the toll! And Sassy Sashsa does come right at her, feints left jab and looks to crack Mac with right hand, Jenny arching back to bend away from the power and then slings back with her own right, which bounces off the Bad Ass’s forehead. Sasha respond with left hook that clips Jenny’s jaw. Two way action as women trade furiously but inexorably, Jenny Mac forced back by heavier weight of shot. Sasha pressing the pace, trying to burn the older blonde’s reserves, and set her up for sleepy time! Left by Sasha clips Playmate chin and she half stumbles back, wide eyed – country Bad Ass in for the kill … and walks into a straight right hand … right … on .. the … chin … blond girl down!!! Broadcast team apoplectic “… she wasn’t hurt – McCarthy was playing possum!” Sasha Pieterse flat on back … raising head … eyes all “wha’ happn’d …” … tries to push up on elbow but nervous system not responding as the ref counts “… 8 … 9 … 10 … yer out!”
Winner by knockout in the 6th round … Jenny “Mac the Knife” McCarthy.
Post fight: Jenny to mid ring, cues sound and system begins to echo Sasha’s hit single “This Country Is Bad Ass” as Jenny’s fans boo resoundingly. Calling for a mic, J-Mac barks “Stop the music!” and sound system cuts the tune. “Now …” she grins, “I WAS gonna let this girl off east, what with her calling me ‘legendary ‘ and all, but she just HAD to shoot her mouth off!”
Tape rolls on arena screens of Sasha’s snark “Well, Jenny, I can see why a lot of locker rooms in the FCBA will be cheering when I put you down, drooling on the canvas. Don’t worry, GBS. I'll leave enough for your ladies to mop up next month”
Jenny shakes her head, grinning, “You just haaaaaaaad to go there, huh girl? Making nice with the little bimbos at GBS? Well, girlfriend … now we need to talk! On second thought …. We need to WALK!”
As McCarthy faithful erupt in cheers, Jenny Mac to the PLP corner to gather up half conscious Sasha Pieterse. Lifting younger woman, she puts an arm around waist and signals for music – and here is that familiar base slap, followed by Bobby Darin crooning “Oh the shark babe … has such teeth, dear …. And he keeps them – pearly white!” What follows is a scalding Walk of Shame, Jenny pausing to exchange pleasantries with GBS ringsiders!
