Post by The Dollhouse on May 5, 2019 13:40:33 GMT -6
Avril Lavigne
(34, 5’2, 120 lbs, 27:11 FCBA, The Dollhouse)
Vs.
Cheryl Cole
(35, 5’2, 110 lbs, 29:7 FCBA, Lioness Club)
Results: Lookout!; Story: Vassago & The Dollhouse
BEFORE:
The time has finally come for Cheryl Cole to trade blows with a fellow singer she had on the radar since like forever: "Well, Skip, this chick had it long time coming!", the pesky Geordie brunette tells the reporters gathered inside Staples Center, "When Avril Lavigne was allowed back into the FCBA fold I said to myself - 'No way!' Her glory days are like way over and now she wants to win some? Please... Well, she did win a couple of fights so far but let's be clear, it's time to stop this nonsense! She was ducking me for the last several months but you’ve got nowhere to hide anymore, bytch! Gawd, I'm soooo ready to whup her fat ass all the way back to Canada! She deserves this much and no more!"
Over to Avril who realizes she really needs to shut the English tourist up once and for all: "The media keeps talking about Cheryl as like, this AMAZING fighter, one of the best in the league yada yada. You know who else you guys said that about? that hoe Olivia Holt, and I kicked her overrated ass. So EXCUSE me for not being intimidated by some irrelevant dancer who likes to pretend she's also a singer. Pfft. What is she going to do to me, floor me with her stupid dance moves? Lavigne laughs before continuing.
“Cheryl keeps yapping about how I've been "avoiding" her all this time. Puh-lease b*tch. As if I'm supposed to pay attention to every NOBODY from the UK who wants to fight me. Give me a f*cking break! I had bigger names to take down, and now that I've done some of that, I can finally shut this Cheryl b*tch up and make her regret messing with me. Just like I always do!"
This is the Co-Main event of this 'British Invasion' Doll Ball PPV and both girls are riled up enough to avoid touching gloves during the introductions, instead Cheryl plugs one into the blonde's gut which delays the opening bell as Kristanna Loken & Eva Mendes trade verbal insults from afar to pump more juice into this steamer! Oh, boy! Are we heading into the Gena Lee Nolin Boxing School of Arts next?
Cheryl Cole wears a Newcastle United-themed black & white vertically striped bikini top, black panties & red gloves. Long dark brown hair tied in a sleek ponytail. Avril Lavigne in her traditional fight gear – a black sports bra with pink trim, matching hotpants & gloves. Long bleached blonde hair tied in a high ponytail. The fight is scheduled for ten rounds in the flyweight division. HERE WE GO!
Round 1:
Off we go to the races and Cheryl is lightning fast as usual in the early stages but that's what Avril had covered all along; she outworks the tourist in a classic flyweight punchfest and begins to dig so much leather into the Brit's face, she forces her to step away from the close range comfort zone. The crowd noise goes up when Cole bends sideways following a nasty hook on the jaw and it's all Lavigne from there as she pounds the subdued opponent into the neutral corner where she adds more strikes to the body and leaves Cheryl in earmuff trap. Not much coming back from the otherwise pesky Brit as she might be feeling the effects of that Panettiere clash eight days ago but that's not the Dolls' problem as Avril drills more tummy to run away with the opener!
Round 2:
Chezza is furious here and intends to smack Avril's head right off; she lands the initial drive into the blonde's face and gut-checks her for a good measure while there's more response coming over the top as the Canadian singer just refuses to yield an inch despite looming adversity. She snaps Cole's head back with single punches but eventually gets outnumbered and sinks into some early spasms when the Geordie tourist blasts her around the liver area to force a low cover. Still, Chezza bumps her off onto her heels and delivers more head-hunting rush that sends Lavigne into defensive retreat come the final stretch. That's a worrying sign for coach Loken alas Cheryl adds another vicious cross on the nose that keeps the Punk Princess at bay for good.
Round 3:
More Geordie slugging in the third as Chezza finds herself in a commanding position following another close range tangle. She beats Avril for the overhand punch and makes her scowl in pain when she targets each temple a little too often for comfort. Lavigne tries to dance her way into mid-distance but gets nailed with a left cross and stumbles to the side while Cole launches another head-hunting attack to push her onto the ropes. Avril ducks & weaves down there but can't stay away from Cheryl thumping her left, right & center for remainder of the round. Some of these strikes are blocked but Cole simply digs too many of them on target and Avril's lips are visibly swollen come the bell which really pours cold water over the Dollhouse fans inside the arena!
Round 4:
Cheryl has found her slugging range and keeps pounding away up the middle while Avril's guard almost collapses upon impact! Ugh! Blonde gets vocal as she tries to match the slugging intensity but just can't find that one shot that would really rattle the British woman. Meanwhile Cole barks in her efforts to put the Punk Princess into the dumpster and gets almost too careless for her own good.. she keeps her right hand too low when working the left jab but Lavigne fails to make it count and settles for a clinch instead. Avril lays back once the fight gets resumed and plays rope-a-dope which fuels Cole's passion to blow her away like NOW!!! She bounces off the top of the Canadian's shoulder though and gets WHACKED by a piston uppercut that almost ends up shattering her brain! Ugh! Geordie brunette goes all wobbly butt here and falls into a ribcage cleansing while Avril turns up the wick late but maybe too late to steal the round. Chezza moans at the bell while she grabs her jaw and that was the hardest hit of the night for sure!
Round 5:
Avril forces Cheryl to chase her around early in the fifth and avoids more phone booth contact; the Geordie tourist issues a couple of verbal taunts and flies in with plenty of hooks but just can't make the mid-distance work and slows down while Lavigne rips a left cross on the nose to launch a proper response... and here we go with the back & forth slugfest again! Both girls trade vicious blows aimed up high and Avril soon rips a small gash under Cheryl's left eye bit that's not enough to dwarf her actions just yet... another uppercut double tags the seemingly aching chin - and Cole felt that as she groans out - but then a right-on-right combo tears more flesh and half-spins the Brit around. Ugh! Cole stumbles back and tries to push off her heels but Lavigne is quicker of the two and HAMMERS a right cross on the jaw that sends CHERYL SPAWLING DAMN ON THE CANVAS!!! Booyah! The dark-haired singer might have been stuck on her heels when she got laced but that was still a nasty hit from the Punk Princess! Chezza beats the count at eight and the clock expires literally two seconds later so she's spared a double play but the Dolls are officially in business at half-distance!
Round 6:
Cheryl knows only one response to this knockdown hiccup and comes steamin' out of the gate but finds Avril catching a second wind in her sails which produces a stunning left/right cross that nails the brunette singer on the jaw. She yelps in pain but simply refuses to back off and gets SMACKED with a brutal cross on the nose that results in instant blood spillage! Oh, boi! Avril's eye light up like a Xmas tree and she takes off in the swarming push for supremacy - she beats a stunned opponent to another drilling punch on the jaw and drops her onto the ropes with more head strikes that Cole cannot embrace! Huh! Lavigne gets vocal again as she taunts the subdued foe to respond but for once Chezza rides the earmuff cover and only weaves around on her feet as she's getting laced big time! When she unloads a half-hearted response from behind the guard you can see blood smeared on the side of her mitts but Lavigne is running the attack on speed dial and makes sure the brunette doesn't escape it! More brutal hooks crash into the Brit's face who begins to gurgle in pain but just can't shake it off and it's almost a miracle she remains upright come the final stretch. Avril doesn't let go and bursts more blood from the squashed lips as Cole sinks on her knees and almost goes down wholesale only to be saved by the bell!
Round 7:
Cheryl's face has been roughed up badly here, folks! She's no longer the pesky slugger ranked Top 3 in the division on physical presence alone and Avril wants to punish her a little more... she scampers across the boards to secure an easy connection with the jaw but then just tears more blood out of the nostrils and renders the fellow singer numb... Three-stike combo dumps the aching tourist back to the ropes and another left/right combo on the nose & ear almost knocks her out while standing... a stoppage is more than warranted at this stage but the British Invasion must be annihilated in a proper fashion so the ref allows Lavigne to BLAST three additional strikes long after Cheryl's arms have collapsed by her side... poor girl didn't even see the last coming as she was OUT on her feet already! DOWN GOES THE GEORDIE SINGER face-down at the blonde's feet and my oh my, someone will have to clear this mess now as Cole's blood is spilled all over the canvas! Brutal KO7 Avril Lavigne in Beatdown of the Night fashion!
Official Result: Avril Lavigne def. Cheryl Cole via KO7!
AFTER:
Incredible! Avril delivers a beatdown for the ages after falling behind early which pretty much confirms Cheryl Cole did NOT recover from the Armageddon PPV stumble. It was more than a stumble alright! Going Panettiere-Lavigne in a span of eight days proved too much even for an elite Geordie slugger! This will be a tough act to follow for Emma Roberts in the Main Event now while Avril enjoys the moment even though she'd like to rub it a little extra but she simply can't given she's send Chezza out of the orbit. Forget about the intended Walk of Shame but the Punk Princess still gets very vocal:
"Yaaasss!! Told ya bitchess!", she seeks out a stone-faced Eva Mendes and blows her a kiss, ""All the wait and talking trash behind my back was totally worth right, right!?" Avril giggles. "Just tell this bytch to stick to dancing! She can’t sing OR fight like me, she's not on my level!"
An exhausted looking Avril places her foot on the fallen Brit's back and poses for the cameras with hands on hips before proceeding into a mock dance routine on her own as the fans begin their now familiar “QUEEN-LA-VIGNE” chant throughout the arena. Bring on the twerks, people! More laughs from the blonde fuel her happiness and suddenly the Staples crowd begins to realize this is only Part I of the show as Emma Roberts can really upstage Vanessa Hudgens next! Don't call these flyweight Dolls underdogs anymore! They are here to stay and threaten to tag-team the crap out of genuine elite performers like Hawkeye's Consortium used to do for years! The Dolls have defended home court from the Brits with the final score being 3-1 and Dollhouse might be the new black at flyweight!
