Post by Lookout! Boxing on Mar 30, 2019 10:07:53 GMT -6
Adrienne “The Chin-Checker” Palicki v. Karlie “The Big Boss” Kloss
Prefight instructions feature Jenny Mac warning ref to “watch” Kloss for fouls, claiming she kicked Nolin during their bout, and Kelly Hu inviting Jenny to “shut the f*ck up!” … which leads to a lunge from J-Mac at Kelly … and security in to clear the ring. Two principals above the nonsense, no hate – just the recognition there can only be one alpha lioness, Eyeing each other coldly – this thing is ON – two amazons walked into the ring and the smart money says only one is walking out under her own power.
Round 7: Jenny Mac leaping up and down, looking to high five Palicki but physically pushed back by Scrubby McGee, “Addie – you go out and end dis t’ing now! Now! Dat’s a dangerous fighter over dere – don’t let her back in dis” Palicki nodding grimly.
Hu and Gellar icing Kloss’ neck and assuring Karlie “She’s spent … that was her last shot … you got this! She’s ours!!!”
Applause welling from crowd as two fighters meet center ring for the seventh. Palicki jabs … jabs … spanking face of the model. Kloss with big left hook to chin but Palciki dances to side. Adrianne focused .. again pumps the jab … Kloss counters with hook, Palicki leans back to avoid punch and slings back with that long right hand … and Karlie Kloss is DOWN! Its that “Hammer of Thor” right and Kloss is out before she hits the canvas. Ref starts count … then waves it off … she’s out as cold as a fish!
Post fight: Kloss brought around on stool; Palicki over to check opponent and offer a word. Pats opponent on cheek. Press bombarding Sceej contingent with questions whether Palicki was moving up to welterweight, Scrubby McGee, “Addie’s a lightweight … and she’s stain’ dere … but she will fight any goil … lightweight … welterweight … no matter. Line ‘em up and we’ll fight ‘em all!"
(Words: Sceej / Results: Lookout!)
Prefight: Karlie Kloss, “I get that Palicki is supposedly this big hitter, but it’s also about how you take a punch! The so called “Chin-Checker” got her own chin checked by Winstead. Respect to Winstead – she’s a great lightweight champion – but she don’t hit nearly as hard as the “Big Boss” Kloss. Adrianne’s used to intimidating girls with her height. Trust me, she’s going to be spooked when she sees someone who looks her straight in the eye. Could be late … could be early … but I’m gonna knock this girl out. Take that to the bank!
Number one question for Sceej Boxing is “why?” – why step up in weight after a tough loss? . Palicki is philosophical, “Losing the title fight, yeah, it shook me a little -I won’t deny that. I see Tractorpull and others calling me “unpredictable” and worse, “inconsistent”. I can’t get angry about that. The way I see it, the best response is to keep fighting the toughest fighters I can schedule and change people’s minds that way. And this is not my first fight against a welter – people forget I fought the best – Amanda Righetti. I’m not one to talk a lot of smack but I think it’s fair to say I gave her all she wanted for ten rounds. I still think about that fight – I had her on the deck and ready to go in the second round! She got the decision, fair and square, but I’ve been in with the best in the division, no welterweight in the world is going to intimidate me.”
Fight night: Sound system blares “Hit Me With Your Best Shot!” and Adrienne Palicki walks aisle in orange crocheted bikini, black gloves and white boots, accompanied by veteran trainer Scrubby McGee and veteran pain-in-the-ass Jenny McCarthy.
Karlie Kloss, to ring to accompaniment of The Who “Don’t Get Fooled Again!” and Roger Daltrey proclaiming “Meet the new boss ….” , looking fit in a lacy red Victoria's Secret bra and panties, red trim on black hi-tops, blood red gloves and brunette hair pulled back in loose ponytail and secured with a red scrunchie, accompanied by Kelly Hu and Sarah Michelle Gellar, top trainers for the Academy.
Ring announcer – “Fight fans … let me first introduce in the corner to my right .. she weighs in at a trim 127 pounds … a former two time lightweight champion and currently ranked 6th in the world by Tractorpull magazine … they call her “the Chin-Checker” … Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaadrianne Palicki!!! (applause) And now allow me to introduce in the corner to my left … she weighted in at a ready 135 pounds … she was 2018’s 7th ranked welterweight by Tractorpull magazine … please welcome … Karlie “The Big Boss” Klosssssssssssss!!! (applause)
Round 1: Both women out of corners – Kloss in classic stance – on toes, right at the cheek, left held high … Palicki with left slung low at hip and right cocked. Exchange of jabs – these are not range finders, these are the Foreman “telephone pole” type jabs that jolt a fighter. Big girls circling, feinting, Palicki fires long right hand lead that rigs up Kloss, model shakes her head and beckons Adrianne to “come on!” and Palicki game. Lanky slugger exchange left hooks, Adrianne thumping ribs and ear, Kloss whacking to the jaw but following uppercut misses as Palicki backs out of exchange, resets and reengages. Lanky two way action but always last shot to the Chin-Checker. Round ends in a clinch, at bell, referee has to separate wrestling fighters and frustrated Kloss pushes off Palicki chest. In the corner, Scrubby McGee pleased, “Good round, Addie goil. Get in, do you work, get out, don’t wait fer her ta get off!” Round Palciki on all three cards.
Round 2: Girls again meet center ring, Kelly Hu exhorting from corner “Get off! Get off first!” and big Karlie responds – left jab, left hook partially blocked, and crunching right off the temple which puts a shimmy in Addie’s knees. Palicki backs off … pawing out a “keep your distance” left … hard to even call it a jab. Kloss hard eyed and stalking, left right to chin and temple toggle Adrianne’s head, she swings back with left hook but Kloss snakes neck back to avoid the shot and answers with her own left hook to the midriff. Hands on shoulders, the bigger woman walks the lightweight back to the ropes, and sets up shop, digging with left and right to belly, Palciki answering with cuffing blows to sides of Kloss’ head but can’t extend and use that vaunted power. Constant thumping sapping power as well. At bell, Kloss up in Palciki grill, blowing hot smoke in her face.
Round 3: Palciki sent out with smack to the cheek from Scrubby McGee and admonition, “Stay offa dem damn ropes!”. Adrianne on toes, circling, making Kloss chase. Karlie also a great athlete and able land with left hook to body but tougher job of work with a moving target. Palicki spitting jab to make model pay the toll on the way inside. Kloss round due to heavier leather to the body.
Round 4: Kloss back in stalker mode – it’s the hunter and the hunted as Palicki backpedaling in face of sustained commitment to the body by the Big Boss. “Work the body … no breaks … don’t let her breathe!” calls Hu from corner. Kloss doing the work, bobbing, moving head side to side, slipping Palicki jab … when at two and a half minute mark she gets clipped! Palicki gambles with uppercut and catches Kloss chin. Karlie stepping in fence post holes, staggering away shabby. Now its big Addie’s turn to stalk … poised in following Kloss to ropes, long buggy whip hook to the liver draws a groan out of Kloss. Comeback round for the Chin Checker and all even after four.
Round 5: Bout becoming a clash of wills, two big women trying to impose dominance on the other. Kloss soaked up some shot last round but still elects to press action, hounding Palciki around ring out of a half crouch, pounding to body, slipping the Palicki jab and occasionally erupting out of the crouch with left hook to the head. Adrianne usually able to snake head back but no respite from the body attack and at length it saps her legs. Mid ring, Palicki digs back foot into canvas and elect to exchange with her pursuer. Kloss bangs left to rib cage, misses with follow up right to the jaw. Palicki right back with right hand lead which skids off top of model’s scalp. Crowd on feet as amazons trade, then Karlie with big left hook to the jaw which sends Adrianne stumbling off to side. Kloss pursues and guts her with right to sternum. Palicki clinches, holding on desperately, ref working to untangle long limbs as clock mercifully runs down – Kloss is the Boss again!
Round 6: Kelly Hu in Kloss ear between rounds “She’s gassed … look at her! Stay on her … no breaks, understand?!! You’ll either take her out or she’ll quit!” Karlie Kloss out of corner is alpha mode, hands up, eyes laser focused, right at the lightweight, who’s looking a little shopworn after five tough rounds. Palicki, retreats, halts and fires big right hand lead, looking to stop the onslaught, but Kloss takes it on the gloves, brawls way inside and just cudgels with both hands, short punches but laying on the damage and sapping opponent’s strength. Adrianne again forced to clinch; Kloss violent in effort to work hands free. On referee’s break, Palicki circles behind ref to buy a couple of extra seconds respite. Kloss bobbing and weaving, slipping the Palicki jab and opportunistically pounding midriff, which is pinking up noticeably. Palciki feints left and goes right hand lead but Kloss has studied tape, fades away from right and counters with her own right, which rings Adrianne’s bell. Crowd roars and Palicki again forced to clinch. A minute to go and ref works big girls free. Kloss closing hard and KARLIE KLOSS GETS CAUGHT!!! Palicki with desperate gamble, tenses to jab and dips shoulder into left uppercut … right on the button!!! Kloss stumbles away … eyes unfocused … and she’s DOWN! Shaky legs give way and model clatters to all fours. Blinking at ref as he takes up the count, gets to one knee at four, waits for nine before gathering herself to feet. Palicki out of corner … seconds left in round … measuring with left jab … Kloss in disorganized backpedal … Palicki throws right which grazes chin and sends Kloss stumbling into ropes at the bell.
Hu and Gellar icing Kloss’ neck and assuring Karlie “She’s spent … that was her last shot … you got this! She’s ours!!!”
Applause welling from crowd as two fighters meet center ring for the seventh. Palicki jabs … jabs … spanking face of the model. Kloss with big left hook to chin but Palciki dances to side. Adrianne focused .. again pumps the jab … Kloss counters with hook, Palicki leans back to avoid punch and slings back with that long right hand … and Karlie Kloss is DOWN! Its that “Hammer of Thor” right and Kloss is out before she hits the canvas. Ref starts count … then waves it off … she’s out as cold as a fish!
Winner by knockout in the seventh round – Adrianne “The Chin Checker” Palicki!!!
