5. Avril Lavigne vs. Jessica Lowndes

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Avril Lavigne
(34, 5’2, 124 lbs, 23:10 FCBA, The Dollhouse)
Vs.
Jessica Lowndes
(30, 5’4, 110 lbs,32:21:1 FCBA, Lioness Club of America)

Results: Lookout!; Story: Vassago

BEFORE:
This is a very curious match-up as Avril Lavigne has repeatedly shot down challenges from Cheryl Cole but accepted a fight against the designated Lioness Club Alpha Jessica Lowndes instead. Truth be told, Lowndes is currently slumping more than her British stablemate but one should never underestimate the value of a proper Canadian grudge fest and this is exactly what's in store tonight according to several pundits.

Lowndes wastes little time firing the first shots during the pre-event press conference: "Look, Avril's had her five minutes of fame but that was years ago. Then again I'm always up for a good scrap especially that nobody will have any doubts who the real Canadian #1 flyweight really is. I've taken care of Krissy Kreuk before, now it's Lavigne time! And she will be in ruins once I'm done with her! She got her clock busted by Hayden Panettiere last time out so I got her right where I want her! This will be a pleasure! Forget the Lowndes slump, bytches! I'm back and back for real!"

Over to Avril next and the negative feeling between the two Canucks seems to be mutual – “Lowndes has been constantly talking sh*t about me, of course I was gonna accept her pathetic challenge. I’m gonna f*cking shut her up for good tonight. b*tch thinks she’s all that when she’s just a Z-list nobody who can barely pass as a ‘celebrity’ anywhere. Most Canadians don’t even know she exists, but they all know ME! Guess why Jess? Because I’m WAY more talented and way hotter than you. Both outside and inside the ring. All you do in life is post slutty bikini pics on your instagram, begging for attention, like the skank you are. I’m easily the most famous and best Canadian flyweight in this league and it’s not even close. Everyone already knows that except you Jess, but after I f*ck you up tonight your tiny brain will get it too. I’m SO kicking this b*tch’s ass tonight and you guys are gonna LOVE it!”

Avril Lavigne wears a black sports bra with a pink trim, matching hotpants & black & pink gloves, long blonde hair tied in a high ponytail. Jessica Lowndes wears a turquoise bikini set & black gloves. Long dark brown hair tied in a sleek ponytail. The fight is scheduled for ten rounds in the flyweight division.

Round 1:
No prizes for guessing this is a grudge bout in the making and Avril becomes toxic seconds into the action as she targets the brunette upstairs and literally tries to knock her head off in a furious jabbing buzz that Lowndes has hard time embracing. The former champion gets knocked onto her heels as she loses the initial tangle and gets truly outmuscled down the stretch with Lavigne working both flanks to dissect the Lioness guard. Jessica probably expected such a high-octane start from the feisty singer but she still can't find the answers as her shots bounce off the high guard and do nothing to stop the blonde's rout. Avril gets vocal as she pounds the reeling actress onto the ropes where she adds another series to the body which cripples Lowndes into spasms; she then eats a brutal uppercut on the jaw right at the bell and stumbles to her corner in worryingly soft-ish fashion. Huh! All Lavigne here folks!

Round 2:
More of the same in the second as Avril thrives on the Doll Ball charge to connect with Lowndes' cheeks upstairs but the targeted woman refuses to back off and drills the singer over the top in equally ruthless fashion. It's like both hellcats want to secure that lights out KO finish as early as possible but Avril's lips suffer a nasty cut come the second minute when Jessica begins to find her stride and just ups the head-hunting bash. Ugh! She wobbles the blonde to the side and that's the first time Lavigne got truly bumped; she fails to find her feet in time and gets sucked onto the ropes as Lowndes pummels her up the middle and traps in the corner; she adds a belting drive on her own and it's Avril who gets reduced into spasms when the bell halts the back & forth action.

Round 3:
Both girls take a brief pause after that lenghty exchange during the first couple of rounds and it seems like whatever Lavigne had for Lowndes, she found a matching response. Now it's duck & weave time as both hellcats withstood the initial burst and prefer to hurl verbal insults instead of slugging it for Canuck glory. Avril probably wins the explicit contest but then gets whacked on her lips as Jessica blinks first and decides to punch herself back into contention. The blonde doesn't let up though and the feisty tangle ends with a clash of heads which cools the tempers right down but Avril's lips are now leaking blood so she quickly wants to get back at the actress only for Lowndes to cover her off with a belting drive on the bell button that shuts the blonde down into more spasms during the final few seconds.

Round 4:
Jessica begins to outwork the blonde from the opening seconds and drops her on the heels when she scythes the swollen lips and makes sure they leak blood again! Ugh! Avril bounces off the high guard too often to make a genuine recovery and sinks on her knees when the brunette gut-checks her from point-blank range. That's a useful strategy that comes handy for any JMD-exprienced fighter and Lowndes has these in spades. She keeps piling more pressure downstairs to drop Lavigne onto the ropes where the blonde gets beaten for another quick overhand and has to find a clinching way to halt the Lioness charge. However Jessica rips more cruel shots on the ribcage and pins her foe against the turnbuckle with the ref allowing these babes to almost wrestle each other to the canvas as Lowndes blasts a nasty hook on the jugs right at the bell which makes Avril scream out in pain!

Round 5:
Avril's head-hunting drill got neutralized in the last couple of rounds so she tries something different this time and it works! She fakes another aerial attack but actually digs deep into the brunette's body as she uses some bendy edge to tackle Lowndes low - but not too low - and sends her reeling upon repeated impact! Jessica tries to buzz her over the top but bounces off her forehead but than anything and has to soak up the phone booth-like abuse instead. Both girls lean onto each other but avoid another head-butt stoppage and Lavigne gets the better of her opponent as she drills her tummy from both flanks and drops her onto the ropes. Jessica lands another good hook on the wounded lips but Avril is not to be denied and keeps clubbing the brunette's midriff until she slumps the actress on soft knees only for the bell to halt this barrage!

Round 6:
Avril shows some nifty footwork to escape the brunette's aerial rush and when Lowndes tries to barge her on the jugs again, she gets caught out with a wicked overhand on the nose that bends her to the side. Lavigne rips immediate follow up that catches both the jug & chin on the way up and sends the Vancouver native spinning onto the ropes when she NAILS her on the nose with a left cross. Ugh! Jessica slumps on her knees with a loud whimper and gets sucked into a head-hunting barrage as Lavigne gets vocal and bashes the trapped foe on each temple. Oi, Jessi! Lowndes wilts under the leather barrage and is in no shape to slug herself back; she only soaks up more abuse until Avril cuts her up above the left eye and SENDS CRASHING DOWN ONTO HER BACKSIDE moments later! Doll Ball is in da house and Avril thinks she's dragged the brunette to the point of no return! Jessica aches her pain out but still recovers at eight even though she looks worse to wear now. Avril wants to finish her off right here, right now but fails to dissect the desperate earmuff in time so the aching Lowndes survives by the skin of her teeth! Bad look there in the LCA corner where coach Eva Mendes smacks her towel around in order to revive the stunned brunette from her misery!

Round 7:
Avril hassles the wounded prey around the ring as Jessica goes all backpedal mode and seems to be losing her competitive edge. Is the Lioness Alpha slump real? You betcha as the Doll Ball crowd wants the singer to send her back to Vancouver on a stretcher and if only Avril lands that crippling series again! She prefers to work around that seeping gash over the left eye but becomes a little too predictable and a scared Lowndes is actually pretty fast Lowndes across the boards! The Dolls can easily claim the pursuit on the cards but this should be curtains for the reeling brunette and it's NOT! Perhaps the fatigue begins to set in as Avril isn't exactly 19 years old anymore and just can't make it happen despite all the noise inside the building. Lowndes survives the struggle and even winks back at coach Mendes during the break: "I'm still here!", "Good, since we need to knock this blonde bimbo OUT!"

Round 8:
Few experts predicted Lavigne won't have the strenght to outlast the brunette if the fight goes beyond the seventh and suddenly the Dolls' pursuit is losing more steam as we speak which only fuels Jessica's (un)expected recovery. This is not what Kristanna Loken had planned for but Avril loses her sting and is that split second slower than required whereas Lowndes works the overhand response and clubs promising hooks into those swollen lips that start to bleed again just past the one-minute mark. Avri gets a little desperate as she tries to stay in the ruthless point-blank range exchange but gets outworked regardless and wobbles backwards which only helps Jessica to land more crisp punches on the jugs. Ugh! This JMD-like switch is definitely wearing the blonde out so she just stumbles onto the ropes with a whimper when Lowndes channels the route in mind over matter fashion. She pounds the singer into a standstill and the loud shriek at the bell almost ices the partisan crowd too; coach Loken smells looming trouble but can the Dolls hang on?

Round 9:
Lavigne seeks to open that gash above Lowndes' eye but she gets clubbed via the uppercut route and has to soak up more jug abuse as Jessica is maybe a little predictable here but brutally effective and slugs the blonde onto her heels within seconds of the opening bell. Avril tries to swing back over the top but finds nothing except thin air and fails to brace for a hooking double that NAILS her on the jaw in quick succession! Uh-oh!! Cue in the jelly knees mode and there's no hope for Lavigne when she eats a brutal left hook on the jaw that LIFTS her off her feet and sends CRASHING DOWN ON HER BACKSIDE!! "Take that, sl*t!!!", Jessica shakes her glove over the fallen singer who tries to avoid a complete disaster and scrambles back to her feet amid more painful shrieks. Uh-oh! She barely makes it at nine but looks rattled by that vicious shot regardless. The ref gives her the benefit of the doubt but Lowndes is right into her face moments later to bash the lips into more bloody mess! Avril trips back under the onslaught and gets sucked by the ropes as Jessica turns it up to destroy the high guard and order a proper facial reconstruction! Avril is still on her feet even though her head rocks back & forth and she screams it all out when the brunette ploughs into her chest moments later... it's punchbag mode wholesale and the sobbing blonde MUST BE SAVED BY THE REF who jumps in to halt the one-sided destruction! TKO9 Jessica Lowndes!!!

Official Decision: Jessica Lowndes defeats Avril Lavigne via TKO9

AFTER:
Dollhouse pride in ruins following this Battle of Canada Royale and Avril's in no shape to respond to the bragging anymore as she disappears in the ref's embrace. "Well, I burst your bubble now, Av! Enjoy it since that's the official end of your so-called mini elite run! Your bleached ass has been exposed!!" Jessica yells at the stunned blonde before leaning forward against the ropes to catch her breath. This was still as tough as it gets for the former lineal/JMD champion who needed to go extra lanes to turn this bout around. She might not admit it on air but she knows it deep inside.

Eva Mendes offers Jessica a warm hug but the Lioness crew doesn't enjoy a happy send-off as the Staples Center is filled with Dollhouse fans who expected Avril to emerge victorious tonight. Meanwhile the pundits can analyze how far this defeat drops Avril from the elite contention

A disappointing end of the night for the Dollhouse Queen and her management for sure, although we’re sure at least ONE member of the Dollhouse (Emma Roberts) is satisfied with the result and is probably giggling to herself somewhere backstage.

Cheryl Cole on twitter: "I'm STILL here too! Av wants the Lioness revenge? I'm ready whenever you're ready!" #AvrilSux #LionessPride #GeordiePower